by Jessica Wood
Steph: By worse, do you really mean better? LOL. What happened?
Me: Haha, only you would think it’s better. So in shock, I grabbed a bunch of tissues and tried to blot out all the coffee from his pants!
Me: And let’s just say, I really went to town with my cleaning job before I realized what I was doing!
Steph: HAHAHAHA! Funniest thing I’ve heard all week! I’m dying here!
Me: While you’re there dying, I’m here mortified. Ha!
Steph: So how did it feel???
Me: What do you mean?
Steph: Don’t be dense. Do I need to spell it out for you? His penis!!! Did you feel it??? Haha.
Me: OMG, I think I did. I think I felt it move slightly and stiffen!
Steph: Score! Show him who’s in control! Haha!
Me: How am I going to face him again? That was so embarrassing!
Steph: Girl, face him with your head held high! You touched his penis, so what? You guys had sex already! Plus, he obviously enjoyed your rub down! ;)
Me: But he’s my boss. This will make things awkward, won’t it?
Steph: Emma, live a little! If he gives you the opportunity, jump him and show him how stupid he was to not call you!
Me: Haha! We’ll see … ;)
Steph: Just do it—pun intended! Besides, between you and me, someone needs to be having some wild hot sex, and you know it’s not going to me with these weird, ugly, and short law school guys.
Me: So no one worth seeing over there, I gather?
Steph: Not a single person. If I wasn’t so busy with school, I’d be tempted to go dip in the pool of college guys, if you know what I mean, ;).
Steph: Anyway, gotta run! 8 am class tomorrow and 40 more pages to read. Enjoy yourself with Brandon, and little Brandon (I hope it’s not actually little!)! Go fuck his brains out, and make sure to report back! Love you!
Me: Haha, you’re sometimes too much, Steph. Good luck studying! Love you too!
I laughed to myself as I put down my phone to have dinner. I felt better after my text exchange with Steph. I realized that there was some truth to some of her outlandish comments. Even if Brandon had forgotten about our encounter in Cancun, I felt like there was an undeniable spark between us. I wanted to think that he felt the same way.
By the end of the night, I decided to forget about that night in Cancun and to give Brandon a chance. I mentally wiped the slate clean between us. This would be a new beginning, and I would see where things took us. The dull ache that had resided in my heart during the last six months left me that night, and in its place was an overwhelming feeling of hope and anticipation.
Chapter Ten
The following three weeks went by quickly as Josh, Sarah, and I started on the projects Brandon had assigned to us. To my great disappointment, besides a few moments of small talk and hellos since the coffee incident, Brandon had not spoken to me or suggested a date for our prime rib dinner. In fact, he never did show up to the Friday happy hours, and he never bought me that drink.
Luckily, the new Imperial Hotel project kept me busy and I gratefully drowned myself in work and tried to keep my thoughts away from Brandon.
“I can’t believe it’s Friday already,” Sarah said as we started to shut down our computers and pack up for the day.
“Yeah, me either, but I’m glad the weekend is here because I’m exhausted,” I said.
“Seriously! Cannot wait for a drink.”
As we rounded the corner of the hallway toward the elevators, Josh caught up with us. “Happy hour?”
“Yup,” Sarah and I said.
“Cool. We definitely deserve it considering we’ve been working twelve-hour days all week,” Josh said.
“Work hard, play hard,” Sarah and I said. We looked at each other and laughed.
“Exactly!” Josh laughed. “Oh yeah, guess who’s making a cameo at happy hour tonight?”
“Who?” Sarah asked. We looked at him in mild curiosity.
“Brandon.”
“Really? Are you sure?” Sarah asked.
“Yeah, he hasn’t gone to any so far,” I said in agreement as I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me.
“No, he really is. I was in his office today to talk about the project I’m working on with him and he mentioned that he’s going to stop by tonight.”
“Oh, that’ll be fun. He’s so hot,” Sarah said with a giggle and then looked around to see if anyone else heard us.
I laughed, and a mixed feeling of anxiety and excitement prickled my skin.
As we walked the two blocks to the bar, Josh and Sarah talked about their projects with Brandon while my mind raced. Brandon was going to be at tonight’s happy hour. I wondered if he would talk to me or if he would ignore me like he seemed to have been doing during the last few weeks.
“Emma?” Josh looked at me quizzically.
“What? Sorry, what?” I asked apologetically. Both Josh and Sarah stared at me.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked.
“Yes, sorry. I was just thinking about something—about work, you know?” I said quickly. “I was just thinking about the Imperial Hotel Project I’m working on with Brandon.”
“Oh, okay. How’s that going anyway?” Josh asked.
“I think well. I haven’t really had the chance to talk to Brandon about it, but between the emails and calls we’ve been having with the client, I think they may want us to pitch them a new idea for the new hotels they’re building,” I explained.
“Wow, that’s great!” Sarah said. “That’s so exciting! Your first marketing pitch. I think the Imperial Hotel flagship is in D.C., so you’ll get to travel to D.C., I bet.”
“I know, I really hope so. But I’m a first-year associate. I won’t be making the pitch—Brandon will. I just hope that I can go too and watch. I think I would learn so much from just watching,” I said.
“Yeah, definitely. I can’t wait to watch Brandon in action. I heard he’s a great closer,” Josh said in admiration.
I thought about Josh’s words and agreed. Despite the fact that seeing Brandon always made my knees weak, I had heard that he was a great presenter, so I was looking forward to watching him in action.
“So do you guys have anything fun planned for the weekend?” Sarah asked as we walked into the bar.
“My buddies and I are going up to Tomales Bay this weekend and doing some oyster shucking,” Josh said.
“Cool! That sounds like a lot of fun,” Sarah said.
“You guys should come too if you’re interested,” Josh offered.
“Awesome. I’m definitely interested. Kelly and I were just going to go shopping this weekend,” Sarah exclaimed. Kelly was another first-year associate at F&M Sarah had started hanging out with outside of work when they both realized that they lived in the same apartment building in North Beach.
“Emma, you in?” Josh asked.
“Well, my best friend is driving up from L.A. tonight, so I’ll have to check with her,” I said.
“You guys should come! I want to meet Jill. I’ve heard so much about her,” Sarah said. “Hey, can you order the house chardonnay for me? I see Kelly outside in the patio and I want to ask her if she’s okay with the change of plans.”
“Sure,” I said as Sarah left.
“You should definitely come out,” Josh said as we waited for the bartender to take our order.
“Yeah, I think Jill would want to do that.”
“Let me give you my number,” Josh said.
“Okay, sure.” I took down Josh’s number on my phone and dialed it so that he would have mine.
“Cool,” Josh beamed at me. “Call me tomorrow morning and let me know. And…and if you can’t make it this weekend, maybe we can hang out next weekend.”
Before I had a chance to respond, Josh said, “Oh. Hey, Brandon. Didn’t see you there.”
I immediately turned around and found myself face to face with Brandon. He was no more than a foot away from me, and the close
proximity made the hairs on arms stand up.
“Hi,” I said as I looked up at him.
“Hi, guys.” Something in Brandon’s voice made me uncomfortable. I was so used to the warm and inviting tone of Brandon’s voice that this cold and distant edge in his voice unsettled me.
“Glad you can finally come out to happy hour,” Josh said.
“Yeah, me too. It seems like I’ve missed out on a lot,” Brandon said as he glanced over at me and then to Josh.
What is wrong with him? I thought to myself. Josh did not seem to notice as he ordered a pitcher of beer for the group.
“We’re sitting outside on the patio,” Josh said as he motioned toward the patio.
“Okay,” Brandon acknowledged. He then turned to me. “Have you ordered yet?”
“No, I’m just about to,” I said as I turned to the bartender and ordered Sarah’s chardonnay and a gin and tonic for myself.
“See you guys out there,” Josh said as he grabbed his pitcher of beer and a few cups before heading to the patio.
“See yah,” I said as I watched Josh leave. I could feel Brandon’s eyes on me, and I took a deep breath to calm myself. I then looked up at him. “Are you getting a drink?”
“Yes, and I also owe you a drink, but it looks like you’re double-fisting it tonight?” His statement came out in a form of question as he looked at me curiously.
“What? Oh, no. The wine is for Sarah,” I explained. My body began to relax as I noticed the warmth back in Brandon’s voice.
“Ahh, gotcha,” he said as he sidled slightly closer to me. “So how’s everything going?” he asked as he looked down at me.
I looked at him. His gorgeous face was about eight inches away from mine and my heart skipped a beat. An afternoon stubble dotted his face, making him sexier than all my memories of him. The light breeze brew in from the patio and I got a waft of his intoxicating cologne, causing me to inhale deeper.
“Everything’s been going smoothly,” I finally said. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about the Imperial Hotel Project.”
“Yes, me too. They called me this afternoon. They want us to make the pitch,” he said.
“Ohmygod, that’s great!” I exclaimed. Without thinking, I threw my arms around him and gave him a hug. Then I froze and immediately let go of him.
“Sorry, I—I just got a little excited,” I said, feeling myself blush with embarrassment.
“Not a problem. I’m glad to see that you’re excited about this project because I’d like you to come with me,” he said as he met my eyes.
“Oh. Yes, of course. I’d—I’d love to,” I said. It took all my control to keep a calm composure as I screamed and jumped with excitement inside. Brandon and I are going on a trip together—just the two of us! I thought about all the opportunities this would give us to get to know one another.
“Well, let’s try not to get so excited, okay?” Brandon said wryly.
“Oh,” I giggled. “Sorry. Actually, I am really excited about it,” I said with more enthusiasm in my voice.
“Well, now you’re just making me feel better,” he jested.
“I—” I began.
“Don’t worry, Emma. I know you are. I’m just messing with you.”
I beamed at him. “So how have you been lately?”
“Not bad. Just busy with these new projects and dealing with some personal things,” he said.
What personal things? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t.
“Well, I hope everything’s working out the way you want,” I said cautiously.
“Oh, yes. Better than I had thought, actually,” he said. “So have you been hanging out with your coworkers outside of work?” he continued, and his question caught me off guard.
“Well, yeah, we’ve been going out for happy hours every Friday,” I said.
“That’s it?” he asked, inviting me to continue.
“Yeah, pretty much,” I said, unsure of what he was expecting to hear.
“So you haven’t been hanging out with Josh?” he asked.
The directness of his question surprised me. “No, I haven’t.” Can it be possible that he is jealous of Josh? I thought. “Do you think something’s going on between us?” I asked, trying to counter his question with an equally direct one.
“I didn’t say that,” he began, “but I was just curious since you’re both in my group. I just want to make sure that you’re careful.”
“Thanks,” I said. I quickly took a long sip of my gin and tonic as I took in his comment.
He is jealous! an excited voice shrieked inside me. But then another thought came to me, He can’t be jealous. If he was, then he’d want to hang out with me, but he hasn’t come out to happy hours until today and he hasn’t taken me up on my prime rib dinner offer.
“So…” I paused and eyed at my drink.
“What?” He glanced at me with a look of concern.
“So, have you thought about that prime rib dinner?” I asked slowly as I played with straw in my drink.
“Oh, yeah, the dinner.” He paused. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Emma,” he said flatly.
“What do you mean?” I asked, knowing that the hurt had resonated in my voice.
“Well, we work with each other, Emma. I’m your boss, and…” His voice trailed off.
“But it’s just dinner,” I pleaded. I cringed at how desperate I must have sounded to him.
“I know. I’m not implying that it would be anything more than that, but—”
“Hey, Emma. Are you holding my drink hostage?”
We looked up and saw Sarah walking toward the bar.
“Oh. Hi, Brandon. I didn’t realize you were here,” Sarah said as she noticed Brandon and then looked between the two of us.
“Um, sorry, Sarah. I was just about to head out to the patio and give you your wine,” I explained.
“No problem,” Sarah said as she took her wine from the bar.
“Brandon, are you going to join us?” Sarah asked as I headed toward Sarah and the patio. I knew I could not look at Brandon at this moment. Both shame and rejection washed over me.
To my relief, Brandon said, “No, I actually realized that I need to go and take care of something. I just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone.”
“Okay. Well have a nice weekend then. See you Monday,” Sarah said.
“See you Monday, Brandon,” I said without looking back at him as I headed out to the patio with Sarah.
Chapter Eleven
Jill’s visit came at a perfect time. I was feeling pretty low after Brandon’s rejection. I knew it was partly my fault for getting my hopes up in the first place and acting like a lovesick puppy when I was around him. I didn’t know what it was, but something about him always drew me in, causing me to throw caution to the wind to be with him.
Jill and I did end up going to Tomales Bay with Josh, Sarah, Kelly, and Josh’s friends on Saturday, and we had a great time. I clued Sarah and Kelly in on what Brandon had said during happy hour but still could not bear to tell them about my dreams or that night in Cancun. That humiliation that too painful to share with yet another person. I was grateful that Jill, Sarah, and Kelly made sure to keep me busy the entire time, which distracted me from obsessing over Brandon. By the time we got back into San Francisco late Saturday, Jill and I spent the rest of the night watching Love Actually, The Notebook, and Twilight and demolishing two containers of ice cream.
On Sunday, we spent the morning at a European spa and had a fun afternoon of shopping. By the time Jill left Sunday night, I felt better. I had resolved to myself that I had to put my crazy obsession over Brandon behind me. I needed to stop thinking that somehow we were meant to be together because I had sex dreams about him, I had given up my virginity to him, and I remembered him from Cancun. This was all coming from me—not him. And in order for two people to be meant for one another, those feelings had to be mutual. He had made it clear on Friday that he obviously wasn’t int
erested in me. I needed to forget about that night in Cancun and stop thinking that my dreams and our night in Cancun meant something more than a spring break fling. It was nothing more than a night to forget for him, and I had to make it a night to forget for myself as well.
When I got into the office Monday morning, I jumped right into work mode and forced myself to keep my focus on the Imperial Hotel Project. I refused to let Brandon into my thoughts today.
Right before lunch, Josh stopped by my cubicle. “Hey, Emma,” he said in a cheerful voice.
“Hi, Josh.” I smiled at Josh and was thankful for the distraction. My brain was tired from working nonstop since I had gotten in, but I had not stopped for fear of thinking about Brandon.
“So yeah, Saturday was so much fun! I’m so glad you decided to come. We should hang out again soon,” he said.
“Yeah, definitely. I had a great time, and it was so nice to get away from the city for a day,” I said.
“Hey, so if you don’t have any lunch plans, did you want to go grab a bite to eat?” Josh said.
Before I had a chance to respond, Brandon came out of his office and said, “Emma, can you come into my office? I need to talk to you.”
He looked upset and his voice again had an edge of coldness. Did he overhear Josh and me talking?
“Sure, be right there,” I said. Then I looked at Josh and whispered, “Sure, I can do lunch if you can wait for a few minutes.”
“No problem. I have some work to do, so I can wait.”
“Okay, thanks.” I wasn’t sure what Josh’s intentions were, but he was a nice guy, and I wanted us to be friends. Besides, it’s just lunch, I thought.
I got up and walked into Brandon’s office with a notepad and pen in hand. He was going through some portfolios on his desk.
“You wanted to see me?” I asked.
He looked up at me and said, “Yes. Um…sit down.” He gestured to the chair facing his office desk.
“Okay.” I sat down tentatively.
“Emma, I want to apologize for Friday,” he began. The warmth was back in his voice.
“For what?”
“For being so blunt with you about the dinner,” he said as he looked at me. “I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.”
