Craving Control

by Kylie Hillman

  Mik is close to breaking. He has something he wants to say. It’s burning the tip of his tongue, and I’m waiting with bated breath to hear it when Benji’s discussion with Maddi catches my attention.

  “When do you start work?” Benji asks.

  Maddi kicks him under the table to shut up. He raises an eyebrow and glances between Maddi and Mik.

  Hmmm, something’s going on.

  When Mik breaks our staring contest and shoots a worried glance in Maddi’s direction, I have the confirmation I need.

  “Did you find a job, Lainey?” I enquire. The three of them stiffen at my use of Mik’s nickname. Idly, I wonder when they’ll actually notice that I only use it because they continue to react to it. They really do make it too easy to get a rise out of them sometimes.

  Guilt floods Maddi’s face and she drops her gaze to her plate. I tighten my grip on her hand, squeezing with painful intent until she meets my eyes. “I thought I told you that you don't need a job. I told you I’ll take care of you.”

  “I’m, um, going to work at one of the Shamrocks, um, workshops. It’s really good money, and I can do it during hours that suit me.” Maddi hedges, dancing around the details. Her evasions spike my rage. There will be hell to pay if I find out she left the house today to organise this. “I don’t want to burden you with my stuff, especially now that your grandfather’s sick and you’ll need to be home more often.”

  She’s a terrible liar. I bare my teeth at her, and she offers me a conciliatory smile in return. Fear clouds her face when I keep her waiting for a reply. I see straight through her—Maddi doesn’t care that she’s gone against my wishes. She only worried that I’m going to lose my cool in front of her brother and Mik.

  I’d hate to disappoint her. “That’s not your problem, darling girl. I think you should defer and come home with me until granddad finishes his treatment. I really don’t want to be separated from you.”

  The bogus smile she was giving me droops at my suggestion.

  Let’s see how she plays that trump card.

  “Why the fuck would she defer her degree to hang around your fucking farm?” Mik decides to add his thoughts to a matter that doesn’t concern him.

  I’ve had enough. Today has been one for the records books. An emotional rollercoaster—and I’m ready to get off.

  Addressing him in my best society voice, I shoot down his interference with a volley of insults framed as a question. “Why would she choose to hang around a dirty biker workshop with a group of ill-bred criminals, instead of with her boyfriend at his award-winning farm, should be your oh-so-eloquently-put question.” I stop and sneer at him. “You wouldn’t understand how a real relationship works since we all know you only associate with women with loose morals. Lainey goes where I go. I go where Lainey goes. End of discussion.”

  I throw my napkin down on my half-eaten dinner. Once I’m standing, I gesture to Maddi to follow me. She scrambles from her seat, gasping in shock when I continue my tirade. “I’m done with this. If you two would still like a lift to the airport, we’ll drop you there now. Otherwise, feel free to enjoy your dinner and then call a taxi.”

  This is when I make my second error for the day. Stalking away from the dinner table, I don’t check to see if Maddi is following. Instead, I head for the valet and order my car to be brought around.

  Maddi doesn’t come straightaway. Every atom in my body wants to walk back to the table and drag her out of her, except I know it will have repercussion I can’t control. If I manhandle Maddi in front of them, the chances of getting her back to my farm will become less than a snowflakes chance of surviving Hell. My father’s ultimatum has left me stuck between a rock and a hard place. One wrong move will send her running straight into Mik’s arms, and I don’t think the threat I hold over Benji’s head will hold up to too much scrutiny if it was more closely examined.

  Maddi is a too loyal for her own good, naive eighteen-year-old.

  I can bluff her.

  Mik, on the other hand, will be savvy enough to thwart any attempts I make to out Benji’s drug use to potential football clubs or the media. I doubt he’ll be subtle about it, either. Broken bones and a busted face loom large in my future if I lose my control before I get them on the plane to Melbourne tonight.

  Seconds after my decision is made to return to the table and apologise for my outburst, I spy Maddi leaving the restaurant with Mik and Benji. They reach me at the same time as the valet.

  “Hey,” Maddi greets me in a breezy voice. “I know you’re stressed out about your granddad. Let’s drop these two at the airport and head home for a quiet night?”

  Her suggestion is understated. It gives me the out I need and proves, once and for all, that Maddi is a master manipulator. I seize on the opportunity she’s provided me to get rid of the two men standing next to us.

  The quicker they’re gone, the quicker her lesson in compliance can commence.

  “Great idea,” I reply, too brightly. “Airport, home, then bed.”

  Maddi shrinks into herself. She knows exactly what I’m alluding to.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  Pulling the car into the driveway, I switch off the engine and get myself out of the vehicle before the tenuous hold I’m struggling to maintain on my control lets go.

  I spent the entire drive, from the restaurant to the airport and back to the house, stewing on everything that’s happened today. Me and Maddi have had four perfect months together. We were happy. She was listening to me, heeding my instructions, and I could trust her as much as I allow myself to trust anyone.

  Benji moves in, and in the space of a week, I’m on the verge of losing everything. Maddi. My father’s protection. My inheritance.

  There’s only one person to blame.

  The wilful woman who’s currently hurrying up the front walkway behind me.

  Her inability to follow simple directions is at the heart of every problem I’m currently facing.

  I don’t care how long it takes, or how hard I have to be on her, Maddi will learn how to submit before the sun rises again tomorrow.

  “Move it,” I mutter under my breath when she fails to take the first hint I gave her to enter the house in front of me. I wave her inside and she steps into the house in front of me with obvious reluctance.

  Slamming the door shut behind me, I shake my head in disbelief when Maddi darts out of the entry and into the living room. My stride is determined, my hands shaking with the need to take hold of her, as I follow hot on her heels.

  As usual, she is oblivious to anything but her own needs. Maddi hangs her handbag and drops her head. Her posture telegraphs her despondency. I can’t find an iota of sympathy for her.

  My fingers bite into her arm and I swing her around until she’s facing me. Her hair falls free and a sandal slips from her foot. Her eyes widen, surprise at my attack stripping all colour from her face. I grab her by the throat and squeeze. The moment my fingers cut of her oxygen supply, I realise that this is no longer a game.

  If she pushes me too far, I can see myself killing her tonight.

  Maddi’s pulse quickens beneath my fingertips, and she makes a choking sound.

  “You made a fool of me, Lainey.” I spit the words at her from between clenched teeth.

  Lifting her until she’s no longer touching the ground, I hold her in the air and regard her through eyes that are blinded by a red veil of rage. Her beauty no longer affects me. I need more than the physical from her. I want to reach inside her chest and tear out her heart. I need to feel it struggling to beat in my grip, her very survival held at my mercy in the same way she controls mine.

  Panic overtakes her body. Her eyes bulge, and she claws at my hand. Her nails break the skin, leaving bleeding trails in her wake. I don’t feel anything except the burning desire to hurt her. She kicks me in the shin, hard enough to break through the red haze, and I backhand her across the face.

  The pain in my leg is enough to galvanise me into action. I loos
en my grip on her throat, returning her to her feet, and steering her backward down the hall to our bedroom. She gasps for air the whole way, tripping over her own feet, and barely keeping her balance.

  After we cross the threshold to our room, I lift her in the air and slam her onto our bed. She hits hard, bouncing in the air and landing sprawled on her side over the heavy wooden frame. She screams, the sound echoing off the walls and I let it wash over me like a gentle wave in a calm sea.

  I don’t know why, but the beast in my head chooses now to make a reappearance and his first command is to lock the door. I press the button, trapping Maddi inside this room with me, before I sit on the ugly, antique rocking chair Maddi insisted on putting in our room. I remove every item of clothing I’m wearing with methodical movements, all the while my attention is focused on Maddi.

  She’s more than ten feet from me, yet I hear every open-mouthed, whimpering breath she takes. Her breathing is shallow, an obvious ploy to get me to stop. It won’t work. The time where she could appeal to my better side has come and gone.

  I’ve been too easy on her and it’s led us into this situation.

  Standing tall, my erection juts out proudly from my hips. Maddi bites her bottom lip and whines louder.

  “Would you shut up,” I bark. Her theatrics are really getting on my nerves. “You deserve everything you get tonight, so stop crying about it. Disobedient slut.”

  Maddi hushes when I tell her to, but it’s not enough. Her whimpers continue, and she weeps quietly on the bed. I grab her by the ankles and drag her toward me. She screams, an agonised symphony that hurts my ears, the entire time I’m moving her. Her weeping picks up pace and she offers little resistance to my manhandling.

  Letting go of her ankles, I place my hands on my hips and inspect her. She’s a mess. Hardly an opponent worth getting so worked up over. Yet, I can’t stop—any tether I had on my demons has snapped. I’m at the mercy of my own dark desires as much as she is.

  “Please, Brendan. Don’t. Not tonight. I think my ribs are broken,” Maddi pleads.

  While it would explain her screaming, I can’t bring myself to care. By the time I’m through her ribs will feel like a mosquito bite. My hands work fast, undressing her like a rag doll, exposing her ample assets to my greedy gaze.

  I’ve had her naked numerous times since her birthday, yet every time I see her body, she’s takes my breath away. If she could just learn to listen, Madelaine O’Brien would be the perfect woman.

  Spreading her legs, I smirk when she doesn’t put up a fight. Her bald pussy is visible. Her tight heat begs for my attention. I move to guide my cock inside her when another idea enters my head.

  When I had her mouth, she barely trembled.

  When I fucked her pussy raw, she cried a little.

  If I take her ass, will she give me the fear she seems intent on denying me?

  Spitting on my hand, I wrench her legs open wider, and rub my saliva on her back entrance. My unexpected touch brings her back to life. Maddi kicks at me with all her might.

  “Stop,” she screams. “Never there.”

  I persist.

  Maddi continues to fight.

  My frustrations become unmanageable, so I change tact.

  “You need to learn that I'm in charge, Lainey. When I say no job, I mean it. When I say you’re deferring and coming home with me, I mean it. When I tell you to stay away from that dirty biker, I mean it. Why do you constantly need to defy me? It would take one phone call to my father to get your pathetic motorcycle gang locked up.”

  She gasps, my new threat breaking through her hysteria. I roll her over onto her stomach, push between her flailing legs, and try to force my cock into her ass. Her frantic movements and tight hole make it impossible to penetrate her.

  “Do you want me to send the pictures of your druggie brother to every news outlet in Australia right now? You do realise that it's draft week, my dumb useless slut? Not the best week to piss me off, you would think?”

  Maddi stiffens momentarily when I berate her again. I seize the opportunity and throw my whole weight on to her. She squirms beneath me, bucking her hips every time I think I’m about to breach her body. I try one final time, half expecting to break my dick if I succeed, only to be thwarted be Maddi’s unrelenting struggles.

  “For fucks sake.” I yell. “You're totally useless.”

  I toss her back into her original position and climb on top of her. Straddling her waist, I vent my frustrations on her face. Three times I punch her. Three times I feel her bones break. She bleeds after the first strike, her beautiful face ending up covered with blood by the time I’m done.

  My monster is out of his cage. He’s unrestrained, the modicum of control I normally try to maintain has vanished into thin air. He’s completely free. Dizzy with excited and hellbent on destroying the woman beneath me.

  I feel the same. Untethered. Wild. Ready to annihilate.

  As soon as the thought floats into my mind, I realise that I’ve had it all wrong.

  He’s not just in my head.

  He is me.

  I am him.

  We are one.

  “I’m starting to believe that you’re never going to learn how to behave.” I lecture Maddi in a voice I’ve never heard before. It is monotone, devoid of human emotion. Spiteful. Mean. Terrifying. Demonic. “You’re such a slut. It's obviously in your worthless DNA. I don’t know why I bother with you.”

  My hand closes around her neck again. I press my knees into her misshapen ribs and crush her. At the same time, I squeeze her throat tighter. Maddi bucks beneath me. She flicks droplets of blood onto my face as she tries to break free of my hold. I continue to choke her, waiting until she’s almost succumbed to unconsciousness before backing off and letting her breathe again.

  She’s whimpers, tears flowing from her eyes and washing away some of her blood.

  I’m toying with her.

  With rough movements, I drag her by her throat over to the desk by the window. It’s messy, filled with open text books, pages of scribble, and a dozen other bits of unnecessary clutter than Maddi swears hold sentimental value. I’ve asked her a dozen times to keep it clear, but she only listens for a day or so before it’s back to overflowing with her junk. I twist her around until her back is at my chest, then I let go of her neck and take hold of her by the nape. Slamming her face first into the desk, I throw my head back and roar when she shrieks with pain.

  If she’s listened, that wouldn’t have hurt half as much.

  Maybe now she’s learned her lesson?

  I doubt it.

  Maddi makes a choking sound, then she spits blood all over the desktop. I spread her thighs and thrust inside her pussy. She’s warm. She’s wet. She’s tight as fuck.

  Laying my body over hers, I pump my hips savagely, filling her to the hilt, bottoming out inside of her before I withdraw all the way and push inside her again. Her body sags beneath me and she takes everything I give her without moving a muscle. I rock inside her harder, determined that she’s not getting out of this easily.

  “Oh, baby, you’re so wet for me.” I rest my forehead on the back of her head, grab her hips and fuck her harder. Maddi twitches, and I grin. If she’s moving, she’s still awake, and that means she can still feel me. “You’re all mine. No one else's. Just mine.”

  The crazy bitch starts laughing. It stuns me for a moment, until I decide to run with it. It’s probably a side effect from the concussion she would have after I bounced her head off the desk.

  “You’re a dirty bitch. You love it when I’m rough with you. Your wet pussy can’t hide the truth. You're my slut, aren't you?” I lean to the side and chuckle straight in her ear.

  She laughs harder.

  I take it as a sign and thrust faster. Maddi moves beneath me, her inner walls tightening around my cock when she does. I push myself harder, breathing faster, letting my orgasm build.

  Maddi turns her head and spits a mouthful of blood on the des
k. She twists further, and grins at me. Her teeth are red, one of her eyes is bloodshot, and I think her nose is broken. She looks like death, a maniacal gleam in her one good eye that stares straight into my soul.

  “You’d better make it count. Psycho freak.” Her voice breaks and she coughs up more blood. “This is going to be the last time your disgusting body ever touches mine.”

  I stop dead, my cock still inside her. “Is that right, little Lainey?”

  She nods. I unsheathe myself from her damaged body. Grasping her by the hair at her crown, I pull her off the desk and force her to stand on her feet. She sways, her legs giving out, but I maintain my hold on her hair, even as it rips from her scalp.

  My arm is light a steel band when I pull her against my chest. She sags against me, flinching when I stare deep in her eyes.

  “You really don’t understand the situation you’re in, do you, my beautiful slut? The last time I touch you is when I decide it’s the last time. And that day will never come. I’ve told you a million times; you're mine.”

  I use my hold on her hair to throw her on the bed. She hasn’t hit the mattress before I’m on her. Her leg gets caught between my body and the bed frame. I hear her bone break with a sickening snap, before I feel it bend in an unnatural angle beneath me.

  Maddi howls like a wounded animal. The sound is one of pure anguish that feeds me desire to finish her.

  “SHUT UP!” I shout at the top of my lungs.

  I can’t think when she’s screaming like that.

  Pulling her legs apart, I force my way back inside her shuddering body. She screams, and I backhand her across her broken nose. She’s silent long enough for me to jam my cock deeper inside her and fuck her like the monster I am.

  She cries out. Again and again. I punch her in the face to silence her. When that doesn’t work, I slap my hand over her mouth. It barely muffles her scream, so I punch her again, this time in the ribs.

  “I said shut up.”

  Her eyelids flutter shut and this time I let her drift away. I don’t need her participation in the finale.