Except the risk was too high. He couldn’t face another rejection.
* * *
The afternoon light was already fading, casting downtown Dover into dull shadows. Usually the early darkness of winter dragged Beth down, but nothing could diminish her excitement today. She’d started decorating her apartment last night, placing many of her sister’s lovely items around on shelves and end tables. She’d even added a few of her own touches with candles she’d picked up the other day. For the first time in years, she was embracing the holiday and looking forward to helping the people at the senior center decorate their tree.
Strange how she’d been surrounded by the extravagant holiday displays and events in New York City for years, but she’d hadn’t experienced this kind of childlike excitement since she was little. Or the growing sense of satisfaction. Since her first class with the seniors, she’d received a dozen calls telling her how much fun they’d had and how they couldn’t wait for the next class. They were all looking forward to the tree-decorating party today and never failed to remind her to bring Noah along.
Picking up her purse, she locked up and went next door. She noticed the addition to the window immediately as she entered Noah’s front office. He was seated at the desk, but she strode past him to the display window.
“Where did you find this precious church?” She stroked the roofline, then bent down to peek in the small windows that had been painted to look like stained glass.
“Gramps made it. He had a whole village of houses and buildings he’d put on the front lawn for Christmas. Gram thought it would look good in the window.”
“I remember that little town. I used to wish I could shrink down like Alice in Wonderland so I could go inside each building. This is the perfect touch for our windows. Does it light up?” She spun and smiled at him, only to receive a deep frown in response.
“It will. I have to pick up a bulb.”
He lowered his gaze as if not wanting to look at her. She tried to ignore the sharp twinge in her throat. “Perfect. We might just have a chance at winning a prize in the window-decorating contest this weekend.”
Noah shifted in his chair. Something had made him very uncomfortable. Her? She didn’t understand him at all. The mixed signals were driving her crazy.
“Are you ready to help decorate the tree?”
“Sorry, but I have to work. I have a stack of inspection reports to finalize.”
She moved toward him, only to see him brace. What had she done now? “Noah, your gram and the seniors are counting on you to help.”
He avoided looking at her and shuffled the papers on his desk. “There should be plenty of people there.”
Beth stepped to the edge of the desk, her fingers resting on the top instead of around his neck, despite her temptation to put them there. “What about Chloe?”
“Gram picked her up from school. They should already be at the center. You’d better go on.”
“Noah, what’s bothering you? Have I said something or done something to upset you? If so, I’m sorry. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
He looked at her with eyes filled with a strange mixture of sadness and confusion. “It’s not you, it’s—” He paused for a second, then inhaled a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “Like I said. I’ve got work to do.”
His tone said the subject was closed. “Fine.” She strode to the door, then spun around. “You know you’re letting Chloe down the same way her mother does. You told her you’d help decorate, but at the last minute, you’re backing out. For work. How can you justify disappointing her this way?”
Noah didn’t meet her gaze. He stared resolutely at the papers on his desk. With a loud huff, she pulled open the door and left.
Men. They said one thing but did another. When would she learn that lesson?
Chapter Eight
Noah’s office door closed with a sharp click, leaving him in silence to confront things he’d rather avoid. Like the way his emotions were constantly swinging between his need to protect his daughter and his growing feelings for Beth. He should have anticipated Beth stopping by. He should have known she’d want to go together.
He gazed at the wooden church in the display window. He’d been ridiculously pleased that she liked it. And pleasing her had become one of his goals. But alongside that emotion flashed a warning sign, reminding him to maintain a clear distance and protect his heart.
Since she’d come home to Dover, he’d been forced to adjust his opinions of Beth and view the past through a more mature lens. Nothing was as cut-and-dried as it appeared. He shouldn’t have interpreted her sudden departure as a personal rejection. And he should have tried harder to find out the truth. But his ego had been bruised, and he’d made assumptions. He hated to think he’d been that shallow and selfish, but at eighteen he’d thought he understood the world. Now, at thirty-one, he knew better. Though he still wasn’t clear how his confusion over her gift had given her the impression he didn’t care about her.
His cell buzzed, and Chloe’s picture appeared on the screen. “Hey, princess. Everything all right?”
“Daddy, where are you? Gram and I are here, and so is Miss Beth. It’s time to decorate the tree. Hurry up or you’ll miss it.”
Noah rubbed his forehead. How could he spend time with Beth, knowing the constant exposure would only peel away another layer of his heart? Their truce should have made being with her easier. Instead it had only increased his longing to reestablish the friendship they’d once had.
No. He needed to stick to his plan. Steer clear and keep his distance.
“Sorry, but I have to work today. You and Gram have fun, and tell me all about it over supper tonight.”
The disappointment in his daughter’s voice as she said goodbye spilled like hot lead along each of his nerve endings.
After hanging up, he rested his elbows on the desk, hands fisted against his mouth as waves of guilt crashed against his mind. Beth was right. He was doing what Yvonne always did. Putting a job before family. Something he swore he’d never do. And not because he loved work, but because he was afraid.
Shoving away from his desk, he snatched his jacket from the back of his chair, locked up and headed across the courthouse park to the senior center. Warmth and the mouthwatering aroma of fresh popcorn greeted him as he stepped inside. The large tree in front of the window was surrounded by people when he arrived. It looked like his skills wouldn’t be needed after all. Chloe spotted him and dashed across the room full tilt, throwing herself into his arms and knocking him backward. He scooped her up and held her close. At nine she was too big to hold, but he relished the feel of her in his arms, hugging his neck.
“Daddy, I’m so glad you came.”
“Me, too, princess.”
“Come on, we need your help with the extra lights.”
Beth turned as he approached the tree, and the smile on her lovely face wiped all doubts from his mind. This is where he wanted to be. Working beside her and his daughter.
The sweet melody of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” that had been playing when he came in gave way to “Little Saint Nick.” He chuckled as some of the seniors started to move to the upbeat tune and sing along.
“Chester Floyd, get your hands out of the popcorn.” Gram wagged a finger at the stocky gentleman. “That’s for stringing on the tree.”
Beth’s soft laughter drew his gaze to her. Her smile was bright and mischievous. “Let that be a lesson to you. No munching the decorations.”
“I’m glad I’m not Chester.”
“Daddy, you need to hang this up ’cause you’re tall.” Chloe hurried toward him, her hands overflowing with a pile of popcorn garland. It took him a moment to locate the end, then he tucked it in the back of the tree near the top and slowly draped it across the bra
nches.
“It’s so pretty, Daddy. Isn’t this fun?”
He looked down at his child. The dreamy glow in her blue eyes was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Beth stepped to Chloe’s side and slipped her arm across her shoulders, a happy smile bringing a pink flush to her cheeks. He was glad he’d changed his mind and come. Sharing Chloe’s and Beth’s delight was too precious a moment to miss for work.
While the next strand of popcorn was being assembled, he and Beth began removing the lids from the boxes of ornaments stacked on a table. He watched her face fill with delight as she opened each box. She looked happy and content. But for how long? She caught him staring and held his gaze, smiling deep into his eyes.
“I’m glad you changed your mind about coming.”
“You were right. I was behaving exactly like Yvonne. I swore I’d never let her down.”
“You know that’s an impossible goal.”
“Yeah. But a father can dream.”
She faced him, raising her eyebrows. “Oh. So you do have dreams. I knew it.”
He smiled, taking the bulb from her hand and letting his fingers brush against hers. What would she say if he told her he was living a dream right now? Being with her and Chloe, performing a holiday ritual like a normal family, was a dream he’d held since his parents died. But she knew that already. He’d told her long ago. Did she remember?
Beth lifted a glass ballerina ornament from the box. “Oh, how sweet. Chloe, look what I found.” She hurried over to the tree, and he watched the two of them search out the perfect spot to hang the ornament, leaving him to second-guess his decision. Had he just made another big mistake by coming to help? In making Chloe happy in the short term, and sharing more time with Beth, he may have set them both up for a bigger disappointment down the road when she left.
How was a father supposed to know what was right?
* * *
Beth watched the dancers as they went through their steps for the scene from The Nutcracker. Allison had chosen the scene when Clara receives her gift and combined it with a few more iconic Victorian holiday scenes.
When the music ended, Beth moved up onstage. “Great job, everyone. Now remember, we’ll be practicing every night between now and the performance. I know that’s a lot to ask, but we all want this show to be the very best. It’ll all be worth it when you hear that applause. And speaking of that, while this is a performance, remember that we are also trying to show not only the earthly joy of Christmas, but also the joyous miracle of Emmanuel. God with us. Here as a human baby. So when the applause starts, remember it’s not only for you, but for Him, as well. Take a break, and we’ll run through the final number one more time.”
Beth looked over her notes, jotting down a few thoughts on how to improve the number. A swell of happy satisfaction rose up through her body, bringing a smile she didn’t try to hide. She was beginning to think Miss Evelyn was right about God having more than one blessing in store for each of His children. Taking this job had already blessed her in ways she never could have imagined.
“I’d like to speak with you, Miss Montgomery.”
She looked up as Beulah Jenson approached, with a tearful girl in tow. Her daughter, Mindy, was dancing the role of Clara in the Nutcracker segment. If there was one sour note in the show, it was Mrs. Jenson. The woman found fault with every direction Beth or Jen gave, and tested her self-control to the limit.
“I’m afraid your practice schedule is too strenuous for Mindy. From here on I’ll only bring her to the important rehearsals.”
Beth struggled to keep the irritation from her tone as she spoke. “Mrs. Jenson, Mindy has a key role in this production. She needs to be here for each rehearsal in case we have to make any changes.”
“If you ask me, there are far too many changes. You may be a professional, but Mindy isn’t, and I don’t appreciate the way you work her beyond her capabilities. The routines were perfectly fine until you showed up and complicated everything. I think it’s best we let her part be taken over by her understudy.”
Beth blinked. Was she serious? “She doesn’t have an understudy. This is a little theater production, and the performers are here because they want to be.”
“Well, we no longer want to be.” She whirled, grabbed her sobbing daughter’s hand and marched out.
Beth clutched her notes to her chest. Great. One of the main performers had quit. Mindy was hardly the best dancer, but she knew her part. Beth’s confidence sagged. She thought she’d been doing a good job. Everyone was tired, but no one had balked at the extra practices. “What am I going to do now?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Jen came and stood at her side. “I’ve been expecting this from the beginning. Stage mother.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m better at performing than directing and choreographing.”
“You’re great at both. Don’t let her get you down. Beulah has a reputation for being difficult.”
“That doesn’t solve the problem of losing our Clara.”
“No, but we’ll think of something. Maybe one of the older girls could take the part?”
Beth stared at the stage, mentally running through the routine and reimagining the sequence. Excitement sent her pulse racing as an idea began to form. “What about three Clara’s?”
“What?”
“I’ve been teaching Chloe and my niece and her friend basic ballet. What if we had the three girls dance the part together? They already know some easy steps. We could dress them alike, pick up two more small nutcrackers and present them as triplets.”
Jen nodded. “It might be cute. See if you can set it up.”
A squiggle of excitement zinged along her nerves. She was certain Abby and Hannah would love the idea. Chloe, too, but she wasn’t sure how Noah would react. Giving Chloe dance lessons as incentive to do her PT exercises was a far cry from actually performing onstage. “I don’t know if Noah will like the idea. He may not want Chloe in the show.”
“Why not? His gram is putting it on.”
Beth frowned. “It’s complicated. But maybe I can get his gram on our side. And make sure he knows we’re in a difficult position with the show only a week away.”
Jen squeezed her hand. “If I remember correctly, you can be very persuasive when you set your mind to something. We make a good team. I look forward to the next production.”
Beth looked at the warm smile on Jen’s face, her memory flashing back to when they’d shared so many happy times. “I must confess I’m enjoying this more than I thought I would. My life has been so set in one direction that I’d forgotten how much fun other things can be, and how important old friendships are. I’m sorry I failed to keep in touch over the years.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s what happens after school. We all go on with our lives. I thought about you often, and I’m so proud of what you accomplished. The friendship never went away, Beth. It was held in a special place in my heart, waiting to be dusted off and polished up again.”
Beth gathered up her belongings, wondering if her friendship with Noah could be polished up, or if it was simply too late. The truce had eased the tension between them, making it easier to be together. But Noah still carried his shield at his side, ready to raise it without warning.
She knew he was trying to protect himself from being hurt again, but how could they ever move forward if he didn’t drop his guard? Maybe he didn’t want to. Maybe she was indulging in wishful thinking again. Wanting him to care because she did.
She knew he was attracted to her. The sparks between them were too strong to ignore. But was that mere chemistry, old emotions stirred to life again? Or was it something more? Something that could become real?
She grabbed her tablet and made a few notes about the changes she had to make. She had no time to worry about what Noah did or did
not feel.
* * *
Noah set the screw in place, pressed the trigger on the drill and drove it into the wood. A second screw secured the table leg in place. He tightened the other screws before setting the small table upright, confident it wouldn’t wobble during the Night Before Christmas act.
He straightened and removed the drill bit. Despite telling himself not to, his gaze sought out Beth, who was standing in the aisle talking with the mother of one of the children. He forced himself to look away and gather up his tools. His feelings for Beth were growing each day. He still couldn’t bring himself to believe that Beth would stay in Dover. Given the chance, she’d dance her way out of his life at the first opportunity.
Yet he knew she was enjoying teaching the girls and working with the seniors at the center. He’d seen her gentleness toward his gram and the others in her class. Here at the rehearsals, she glowed with energy and enthusiasm, and he was confronted hourly with his daughter’s adoration for Beth.
She had a lot to offer their small hometown. Her heart for others was evident in everything she did. That was the Beth he remembered. The one that still called to him from the far recesses of his mind. But was it enough? Could teaching others to dance take the place of doing it herself? Could she ever completely let go of her lifelong dream?
“Noah, do you have a moment?”
He spun, nearly bumping into the object of his thoughts. “Sure.” She was holding her tablet. He frowned. What did she want constructed now?
“I need one more rather large prop, and I was hoping you could throw it together.”
Why did everyone think that building things was just a matter of throwing some lumber together? “You do realize that the show is next week.”
“I know, but we’ve had a change in one of the numbers. Mindy Jenson pulled out—or rather, her mother pulled her out. Which means I have to restage the number, and I had an idea.”
A Mom for Christmas Page 12
