by Jim Benton
I told her that was sweet, but I thought we’d
gotten ourselves into this and now we’d have to live
with it.
Angeline gave us B.F.F. necklaces.
Isabella says that they kind of prove that
we own Angeline a little bit, like a dog tag proves
you own your dog. Isabella says it will magically
increase our popularity and she seemed so happy
about that that I’m wondering if she had considered
that when she made us all BEST FRIENDS. (Would
Isabella ever actually DO something like that?)
What she said about the dog tag made sense
to me, so I gave my B.F.F. necklace to Stinker. I’ll
have to figure out what to tell Angeline when she
comes over to finish that assignment that I knew all
along was going to get put off until the day before
it was due.
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I’m not trying to force Stinker to learn any
more foreign languages. I realize he already speaks
one: DOG. And I think I have a new opinion about
other people in other places anyway.
I got an e-mail from Colette. Here it is:
Dear Jamie —
I told the principal what I did with the
cat food and why, and I’m getting punished,
but they’re going easy on me because I
confessed.
The PRETTIEST award I won at your
school made a big difference for me here. I
didn’t eat lunch alone today, and nobody
called me Collie all day. Mackerel Middle
School is the best school in the world. You
guys are super nice!
Luv,
Colette
PS: You’ll like this. Today at lunch, one of
my friends told me that she heard about this
girl at some other school, who was going
around talking like she had a speech impedi-
ment or something, and when the principal
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found out, he made her wear wooden shoes.
Can you believe it?
So I’m their “girl at some other
school”!!!
I guess every place is somebody else’s Best
Place On Earth, and somebody else’s Worst
Place On Earth at the same time.
And if you ignore the parsley garnish, deep
down, we’re all sliced from the same meat loaf.
I suppose there’s nothing wrong with where I
am except that now as far as the Whole World of My
School is concerned, Angeline and Isabella and I are
BEST FRIENDS; the BROWNEST, POOFIEST,
CLOGGIEST best friends in school.
Thanks for listening, Dumb Diary.
See you at the wedding!
PS: And let’s see you pretty your way out of THIS
outfit, Angeline.
www.scholastic.com/deardumbdiary
scholastic.com/deardumbdiary
deardumbdiary.walden.com
scholastic.com
About Jim Benton
Jim Benton is not a middle-school girl, but do
not hold that against him. He has managed to
make a living out of being funny, anyway.
He is the creator of many licensed properties,
some for big kids, some for little kids, and some
for grown-ups who, frankly, are probably behaving
like little kids.
You may already know his properties: It’s
Happy Bunny™ or Catwad™, and of course you
already know about Dear Dumb Diary.
He’s created a kids’ TV series, designed
clothing, and written books.
Jim Benton lives in Michigan with his spectac-
ular wife and kids. They do not have a dog, and
they especially do not have a vengeful beagle.
This is his first series for Scholastic.
Jamie Kelly has no idea that Jim Benton, or
you, or anybody is reading her diaries. So, please,
please, please don’t tell her.
www.scholastic.com
