Sophie's Voice

by HELEN HARDT

  “I am quite content with my life, thank you.” But was she? The audition had thrilled her. Once she got over her nerves and started singing, only she and her voice had existed.

  “What exactly are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I refused the post.”

  Ally’s eyes widened into saucers. “You cannot be serious. This is an incredible opportunity for you.”

  “It’s an opportunity that I have no interest in, Ally. I’m quite content with my life the way it is. I don’t wish to put myself in the public eye. I’m not meant for that life.”

  “Sophie, you are meant for more than knitting, crocheting, and singing by yourself in the conservatory. The world has so much to offer you, and more importantly, you have so much to offer the world.”

  “I just don’t know…”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Now, who might have sent this note?”

  “If I had to guess, I would say Mr. Newland. He was very determined to have me join his company. He even told the present lead soprano, Miss Lloyd, that I would be taking her place. She was not thrilled, to say the least.”

  “That cheap floozy? Why, you can sing circles around her, and she no doubt knows that. Mr. Newland obviously does.”

  “That’s quite beside the point. I’m not taking the role.”

  “Oh, yes, you are.” Ally’s eyes gleamed. “Would you care to make a wager?”

  Sophie shook her head, letting out a little chuckle. “Oh, no. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. You don’t play fair.”

  “Fair? What is the meaning of fair, anyway? I got you to go to an audition that I knew would be good for you. And it was good for you. You proved to Mr. Newland that you have an amazing voice, and he wants you. Seems pretty fair to me.”

  Sophie opened her mouth to speak but then pressed her lips together. Did Ally have a point? She had been gloriously happy on stage. And though she did love her life, it became tedious at times. But the public… If she put herself out there, she could get hurt. And Sophie had endured enough hurt already in her short life. She couldn’t bear anymore.

  “Don’t you have anything to say, Sophie?”

  “Ally, you just don’t understand. We are two different personalities. You enjoy being flamboyant, being the center of attention. That has never been my desire.”

  “But your voice, Sophie. It should be shared with the world. You should be shared with the world.”

  Sophie shook her head. “I have no desire to share myself with the world, Ally. I have nothing to give. Father saw to that.”

  Ally’s facial features softened. “Oh, dear, dear Sophie, how I used to think the same of myself. I considered myself broken, which is why I wanted to marry for money and not love. But then I found Evan, and Sophie, I’m not broken. Someone wonderful loves me, and someone wonderful will love you too, if you open yourself to it. Not only that, you have the chance for thousands of people to love you when they hear you singing.”

  Sophie let out a sigh. If only it were that simple. She was not like Ally. Ally was strong.

  Ally continued, “Can’t you give it a try? For me?”

  Sophie gulped. “You know I would do absolutely anything for you, Ally. I owe you.”

  “Pishposh, you owe me nothing. It is not for me that I’m asking. It’s for you.”

  Graves entered, Bertram behind him. “Pardon me, my ladies, do you wish for tea this afternoon?”

  Sophie nodded. “Yes, Graves, thank you.”

  Ally turned toward the two men. “Graves, you’ve known Lady Sophie for a while now. And you’ve heard her sing in the conservatory.”

  “Yes, you do have an incredible voice, my lady.” Graves adjusted his cravat.

  “Don’t you feel she should share her voice with others? She could sing at the Regal Theatre in one of Mr. Newland’s productions.”

  Graves cleared his throat. “I’m not sure it’s my place to have an opinion on the matter, my lady.”

  “Actually, Graves, I should like to know what you think,” Sophie said.

  “May I speak freely, then?”

  “Of course. I would appreciate that.” Sophie smiled. Graves was such a proper servant.

  “To be honest, I’ve never thought much of young ladies making a spectacle of themselves in front of an audience. If I may say so, Lady Sophie, you’re much too good for that type of endeavor.”

  “Well”—Ally petted her growing belly—“I don’t know what on earth you know about it anyway.”

  “Now, Ally, that isn’t fair,” Sophie said. “You asked his opinion. There is no law in England that says everyone has to agree with you.”

  Ally chuckled. “There should be.”

  Graves even let out a laugh at that one, though Bertram stood behind him, awkward and cowering.

  “Indeed,” Graves said, “I did not mean to offend either of you ladies.”

  “We know that, Graves,” Sophie said. “My sister will just have to get over herself.”

  “Very well, then.” Graves turned to leave. “Tea will be served in a few moments.”

  “It serves you right, Ally,” Sophie said. “You see? Not everyone agrees that I should be on the stage.”

  “Graves is old school, Sophie. He’s retiring soon, after all. How old must he be, anyway? Sixty years old? Times have changed. We women have voices now—not as loud as we should be, but things will continue to evolve. This is your chance to give something back to the fairer sex.”

  “You have faith in me where none is warranted. I have nothing to give.”

  Ally started to speak, but they were interrupted by two footmen bringing in the tea tray. Sophie poured tea for Ally and herself, and they each took a plate of finger sandwiches.

  “Sophie, I—”

  Sophie held up her hand to stop her sister. “Please, let’s no longer speak of this today. You wouldn’t believe how fraught with exhaustion I am after the audition this morning.” And after the kiss with Mr. Newland, but Sophie wasn’t quite ready to talk about that.

  “All right.” Ally took a few more sips of her tea and then rose. “If you’ll excuse me, dear, I must lie down. Afternoons are so tiring for me in this condition.”

  “I completely understand,” Sophie said.

  Ally took leave, and Sophie finished her tea and sandwiches. After the tray had been cleared, she curled up on the divan to read, but soon her eyes fluttered closed.

  * * *

  Zach rapped forcefully on the door of Brighton Manor.

  The door opened. An older gentleman said, “Yes, sir, may I be of assistance?”

  “Yes, if you please,” Zach said. “I’m here to call upon Lady Sophie.”

  “I will see if she is receiving guests. Your name, sir?”

  “Zachary Newland.”

  “Yes, the actor. You work with Lord Thornton at the theatre. Do come in, and I will see if Lady Sophie is available.”

  Zach paced the marble hallway for a few moments until the butler returned.

  “Lady Sophie will receive you. Please follow me to the parlor.”

  Zach’s heels clicked upon the marble flooring until they came to a door, which presumably led to the parlor. The butler opened the door, and there sat Sophie, perched on a divan along the back wall.

  She looked like an angel, those pink lips slightly moist, her cheeks that bewitching raspberry. His groin tightened.

  “My lady,” Zach said. “Thank you for receiving me.”

  “You’re quite welcome.” Sophie nodded to the butler. “Thank you, Graves.”

  The gentleman left the room and closed the door behind him.

  “What is it that I can do for you, Mr. Newland?”

  “You no doubt already know why I am here, my lady. I must have you for my new production. Now that I’ve heard you sing, I can’t imagine this role being played by anyone but you. You did know that your cousin-in-law, Lord Thornton, wrote the music?”

  “Yes.” Sophie nodded. “And I do adore his work.
He is a gifted composer.”

  “I couldn’t agree more, and only your voice will do his music justice.”

  “Mr. Newland, I—”

  “Yes, my lady, I know exactly what you’re going to say. But before you say it, might I persuade you to take a late-afternoon walk with me? You could show me around your estate. I have not visited the Brighton estate before.”

  “I see no reason for us to go walking, sir,” Sophie said. “It would be quite improper without a chaperone, as you well know. Plus, I will not change my mind about appearing in the production.”

  “My lady, I hope I don’t offend, but a woman of your…age…no longer requires a chaperone.”

  Sophie’s cheeks reddened further. Zach wished he could bite back his words. What had he been thinking? He didn’t want to insult the lady. In fact, at the moment, all he could think about was undressing her. But that was not the reason for wanting to walk about the estate with her. If he could get her outside, show her the wonders of creation, perhaps she would agree to share her voice with the world.

  “Please, my lady, I meant no offense. All I ask is an hour of your time on this late afternoon. Allow me this one chance to try to persuade you to sing for me.”

  Sophie rose. Oh, how he wanted her. That a woman so fetching could know nothing of her charms confounded Zach. Those lips, those raspberry cheeks, the radiant hazel eyes laced with green and gold…

  He walked slowly toward her, his feet moving independently. When he reached her, he cupped those berry cheeks, bringing his own head down and pressing his lips to hers.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Oh, the pleasure… His kisses… After this morning, she had never dreamed she would experience another one. She parted her lips eagerly this time, her body taking over. His tongue twirled with hers, and she tingled all over. Her nipples tightened against her corset. They were so hard she felt for sure he could feel them as she pressed against his chest.

  Dear God… Difficult to get her breath… She was…going…to…

  Had to break away… Couldn’t breathe…

  As if he had read her mind, he ripped his lips from hers and trailed tiny kisses across her cheek to her earlobe. He bit and sucked the small lobe into his mouth, and Sophie’s knees nearly gave way.

  Sophie gasped for air. Such sensation… Truly… This is why Ally let all those gentlemen take liberties… She let out a sigh.

  “Do you like that, sweet? Does it feel good to have my lips upon you?”

  Sophie couldn’t find her voice. Yes, yes! she shouted inside.

  “Tell me, sweet Sophie, how does it feel when I kiss you?”

  Again, she was without words. After all, words had limitations. How on earth could she describe the ethereal feelings flowing through her? She knew only one way to show her true emotions—through singing.

  “Tell me,” Zach whispered in her ear, “do you enjoy kissing me as such as I enjoy kissing you?”

  “Yes,” she murmured. “Oh, yes.”

  Zach backed away from her slightly and looked into her eyes, burning two holes in her with his bronze gaze.

  “Let us walk together. Show me your estate, and perhaps I can convince you what a grand experience it would be to sing on stage with me.”

  Sophie swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded. She would walk with him. After all, they would be outside in full view of anyone on the estate, so she didn’t have to worry about him taking more liberties. And what was the harm in spending time with a man who intrigued her? If she asked her sister, Ally would say there was no harm at all.

  “Yes, Mr. Newland, I shall walk with you.”

  * * *

  They walked about the estate, Mr. Newland educating her on the theatre and how he got his start in acting. He’d offered Cameron a job a year ago as the house composer. Cameron, like her, was self-taught, having grown up poor as Sophie had. The stories fascinated Sophie. Mr. Newland himself was a self-made man, having gained a benefactress in Cameron’s great-grandmother, the dowager Marchioness of Denbigh.

  “Did you…” Sophie warmed all over, embarrassed by the question she couldn’t help asking. “With the marchioness…?”

  Mr. Newland chuckled. “No, no. She was in her early sixties at that time, and I was a mere lad of nineteen. She didn’t expect it or ask for it. Some benefactors do expect, shall we say, benefits, but most don’t. Most people do it out of the goodness of their hearts.”

  “I see.” Sophie looked down. Her shoes were scuffed with dirt. Drat, she’d have to have Hannah clean them.

  Soon they came to a secluded area, one of Sophie’s favorite places on the estate. Often she wandered out to the little area to read or sing or just be alone.

  “What is this place?” Mr. Newland asked.

  “Just a little alcove. I come here often. No one ever bothers me here. It’s private from the servants.”

  “Would you mind showing it to me?”

  Sophie had a brain. She might be naïve and untried, but she knew if she took Mr. Newland into the alcove, he would kiss her again. She should turn around, walk away, go back to the estate, and tell him in no uncertain terms that she was not that kind of woman—no matter that her body was telling her to drag him into the alcove and kiss him senseless.

  “It would not be proper, I’m afraid. I hope I haven’t given you the wrong impression, Mr. Newland, but I’m not at all—”

  “Sophie”—he locked his brown gaze on hers—“please.”

  Her skin rippled. Those eyes… She floated into them, losing herself. “Mr. Newland…”

  He smiled—a dazzling smile. No wonder he captivated his audiences. “I do wish you would use my given name. Zach.”

  “It would not be proper.”

  “Who’s to say what is proper? Is this proper?” He clamped his lips over hers.

  Again, Sophie’s legs threatened to collapse beneath her, but Mr. Newland—Zach—held her fast. He ate at her mouth, giving, taking, kissing her with a passion she had never known existed. When they both were nearly devoid of breath, Zach broke the kiss.

  “The alcove, Sophie. Now.”

  In a pink haze, Sophie led him into the secluded area. The grass was soft as moss under them as he pulled her down onto it. He kissed her again, sucking at her lips, her neck, what was exposed of her shoulder.

  “Your skin is so soft, Sophie. I want to touch every inch of it, feel it under my fingers, under my tongue.”

  He turned her around and deftly unbuttoned the back of her gown. She stood, petrified, powerless to stop him. Icy fear coursed through her, but words escaped her lips. Part of her wanted this, wanted him.

  Once he had finished with her dress, he gently brushed it over her shoulders until it landed in a dark heap on the grassy floor. He turned her around. Her bosom swelled over the tightness of her corset.

  “My God, you’re lovely.” He kissed her décolleté, the rounded tops of her bosom.

  She shuddered. No man had ever seen this part of her, let alone touched it and kissed it. Boiling honey surged through her veins. She should stop him. But the cold hard fact was…she didn’t want to.

  Everywhere his lips touched, a trail of fiery sparks followed. He kissed her shoulders, her upper arms, and then back to the tops of her breasts.

  He inhaled. “You smell heavenly. Like mulled wine, spicy. And vanilla.”

  Her breath came in rapid puffs against the top of his head. Surely she would swoon any moment.

  “Please, Sophie, may I loosen your corset?”

  She couldn’t speak. But she nodded. She was defenseless, paralyzed.

  He smiled and then turned her around again. He deftly loosened her corset and removed it, leaving her in her chemise and drawers. He turned her toward him and brushed the filmy chemise off her shoulders until it landed in a plop on top of her gown and petticoats.

  There she stood, her breasts exposed to his gaze. Would she please him?

  The blaze in his green eyes indicated she did.

&
nbsp; “So beautiful.” He cupped her breasts and ran his thumb over the tips of her nipples.

  She gasped. A jolt shot straight to that foreign place between her legs. Her nipples ached, and her forbidden heat throbbed.

  Yes, this was what Ally, Lily, and Rose had experienced, why they hadn’t been able to resist. This was bliss. Pure bliss.

  “Such sweet pink nipples.” Zach gazed up at her, continuing to rub her erect buds. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

  Sophie looked down, unable to meet his fiery eyes. Ally was beautiful. Lily and Rose were beautiful. She, Sophie, was merely acceptable.

  “Look at me, Sophie.” Zach tipped her chin so that her eyes met his. “Look at me and tell me you’re beautiful.”

  Sophie hadn’t thought her skin could heat further, but it did. She could not say the words. They were untrue. She was not beautiful. She was not desirable. She was nothing. Her father had seen to that. She shook her head, casting her gaze downward again.

  And again, he tipped her chin upward. “It’s a disgrace that someone so beautiful has no idea how beautiful she is. Will you let me show you, Sophie? Will you let me show you how beautiful I find you?”

  Before she could answer, he bent down and took one pink nipple between his lips.

  And she thought she had experienced bliss before… Every new pleasure he showed her opened up new feelings inside her, like a flower blooming in the sun. As he sucked the first nipple, he fingered the other one and then gave it a tiny pinch.

  “Oh!” The lightning went straight to her core.

  She knew about the sexual act, and she couldn’t imagine that it could top what she had experienced so far. The kisses, his mouth and his hands on her nipples… What could be better than this? He was consuming her bit by bit, and she didn’t care. She wanted to be consumed. She wanted to be consumed until she was a part of him and no part of Sophie remained.