Sophie's Voice

by HELEN HARDT

  “Why do you seem so distraught?” Ally asked. “It was my understanding that you enjoyed the climax he gave you before.”

  “Well, of course, I did. And I…enjoyed them today.”

  “Them? You had more than one?”

  Sophie nodded, gulping. “Several, yes.”

  “That’s absolutely superb!” Ally smiled.

  “Yes, it was…superb, of course. But…”

  “But what? What exactly are you trying to tell me, Sophie?”

  “What troubles me is that…he smacked my…”

  “Your bottom? Did he spank your bum?”

  Sophie nodded, wishing she could disappear into the gilt brocade of the divan. No such luck.

  “Sophie, dear, many women enjoy playful spankings. In fact, there are clubs where people go to get such pleasure.”

  “Clubs?”

  “Yes. Of course, I’ve never been to one myself, but I’ve read about them.”

  “So you don’t think it’s…odd that I enjoyed the spankings?”

  “Not at all.”

  “But Ally, after all the two of us went through during our childhood, isn’t it strange that I would enjoy having a man taking hand to me like that?”

  Ally hesitated a moment before speaking. “Honestly, Sophie, I cannot say for sure. I do know that many men and women enjoy such things. I really don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about. You and he are both over the age of consent, and if you both enjoy those acts, why worry about it? Grab every bit of pleasure out of life that you can. You can’t know how much it pleases me to know that you’re finding some pleasure. You’ve always been quiet, and I know you’re content with the simple life of being alone, reading, singing to yourself. But I’ve always felt you were meant for so much more. That’s why I wanted you to audition for the musicale. And perhaps you’re meant for more than singing as well. If you enjoy these acts in the bedchamber—”

  “Well, not in the bedchamber exactly. First in the alcove, and then in his office at the theatre.”

  Ally chuckled. “It’s just an expression. Sometimes those acts outside of the bedchamber are the most pleasurable.”

  Sophie smiled. Embarrassment warmed her cheeks and neck. “Perhaps.”

  “At any rate, grab every little diversion you can out of this life, sister dear. The tough times will come no matter what. Seize the good when you can. Carpe diem.”

  Carpe diem, indeed. “Thank you, Ally. That helps. If you’ll excuse me, I think I want to retire to my chamber for a small catnap before luncheon.”

  Sophie left the parlor and strode up the stairway to her chamber. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes, waiting for blackness to take her away from her muddled thoughts.

  * * *

  “Out of bed, lassie.”

  A strong arm yanked Sophie off of the hard cot she’d been sleeping on. Her father’s rank breath reeked of Scotch and filth.

  “Ye’re becomin’ a woman now, and a woman needs to learn how to take a good beatin’. That way I’ll find a decent husband for ye, someone to take ye off my hands so ye’re no longer my problem.”

  Father yanked her to the corner of the room. From the corner of her eye, she saw her little sister, Ally, open her eyes.

  Sophie gasped, icy fear surging through her. She’d just started her courses—her first time—and her body was cramping with pain. The rag she wore in her drawers clung to her private parts, sticky with her blood. Her father had smacked her and Ally around before, but not anything to cause them lasting injury. Though they had witnessed him do much worse to their mother. Both of them wanted to help her, but they were not big enough or strong enough, and their mother had cautioned them never to interfere.

  “What a bloody mess!” Father lifted her chemise and pulled her drawers down, baring her bottom. “Women are so filthy. Ye need the filth beaten out of ye.” He turned her over his knee.

  Slap! A leather strap came down on her bare bottom.

  Sophie cried out. Oh, how it stung, and her belly cramped up with more pain.

  Slap! Slap! Slap!

  Tears ran down her cheeks as Sophie wailed. “Mama! Mama! Help me, please!”

  “Yer mother knows better than to interfere, lass. If she does, I’ll be all the harder on her later.”

  “Father, please stop. You’re hurting me. My…my tummy… It’s so sore.”

  “I’m not hittin’ ye on yer tummy, am I?”

  Slap! Slap!

  “Stop it! Stop it! You’re hurting her!”

  Sophie looked up. Ally had risen from bed and was pushing at their father.

  “No, Ally, please,” Sophie whispered. “Go back to bed.”

  “You’re nothing but a coward,” Ally said. “A coward who picks on people smaller and weaker than you are.”

  Father pushed Sophie to the floor. She landed, her bones aching. Thankful for being released, she ran to the basin to clean herself, but—

  Slap! Slap! Slap!

  Sophie turned and swallowed the bile rising to her throat. Ally was now across their father’s knees, her bottom bared.

  “Ye don’t want yer your sister to take her punishment? Then ye’ll take it for her.”

  “Smack me all you want. You’re still a coward.”

  “Oh, Ally, please, be quiet. You’re just making it worse.”

  Ally ignored her, continuing to taunt their father.

  The door to their small chamber opened quickly. Their mother, Iris, the Countess of Longarry, stood there in her night rail. “Angus, please. Come to bed. Please do not do this to our children.”

  “I’ll deal with you later, ye stupid bitch. Leave us!”

  “I will not! You will not hurt my daughters.”

  Father pushed Ally onto the floor and strode to Mother, cancerous anger in his eyes. “Ye will not talk to me like that again, woman.”

  He pushed Mother down harshly, and she landed with a thump on the floor. Then he closed the door to the girls’ chamber and locked it.

  “I’m not done with ye.” He grabbed Ally, only eleven she was, pulled her across his knees again, and continued strapping her.

  Sophie wept quietly, unable to take her eyes off of the torture befalling her baby sister. Ally’s bottom was bright red. It would surely be bruised on the morrow. Sophie stood, wanting to help, but she was paralyzed except for the drops of blood sliding down her legs.

  Slap! Slap! Slap!

  * * *

  Sophie awoke with a jerk. Her heart pounded rapidly, and freezing tingles prickled her skin all over. Scattered images and smells permeated her mind. Her father—his rotten breath, always so rank—her first courses—the ache—the mess—her mother, tortured yet still so proud and brave.

  And Ally.

  Always Ally. Her baby sister. Ally always protected Sophie from Father’s beatings.

  Sophie was the older sister. She was supposed to protect Ally, not vice versa. But she hadn’t had the strength. Ally was strong, always so strong. She still was today.

  Ally had taken so many beatings meant for Sophie. And Sophie had never been able to stand up to their father the way Ally had. He beat her to a pulp, yet still she kept fighting… Always fighting…

  How was it now that Sophie was enjoying a spanking from Zach? None of this made any sense. The whole idea should repulse her, based on her abusive childhood.

  She would have to stop seeing Zach Newland.

  Grab every bit of pleasure out of life that you can. Ally’s words rang in her head.

  How in the world could she consider this pleasure, when the same act had brought her so much pain earlier in life? Not just pain for her, but for Ally and Mother too.

  Even if she wanted to stop seeing Zach, which she didn’t, she’d already committed to take the role in the musicale. Of course, she could step down. He had another soprano to fill the role—Nanette.

  That is what she would do. She would go back to the theatre this afternoon and tell Zach that she could not be his le
ading lady.

  She let out a sigh. If only things could be different. But Sophie was still Sophie.

  She was a coward, and she always would be. No amount of courage or faith in herself could change that.

  She rose to get ready for luncheon. She took a quick peek in the looking glass and fiddled with her hair a bit, until a frantic knock on the door interrupted her.

  “My lady!” Hannah entered without permission. “Come quick! It’s Lady Alexandra!”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Sophie grabbed Hannah by her upper arms. “Ally? What has happened?”

  “I don’t know, my lady. All I know is they say she’s bleeding.”

  Sophie’s heart nearly stopped. Ally was not yet eight months long. If she was bleeding… Sophie couldn’t think of it. Ally and Evan wanted that baby so badly! She pushed Hannah aside and ran from her chamber, down the hallway, and down the stairs, nearly tripping over her feet. She stumbled into Graves as she ran down the stairs.

  “Lady Alexandra is in the parlor,” Graves said. “Bertram has gone for the doctor.”

  “What happened?” Sophie bit her lip.

  “Your sister doubled over in pain. We’re not exactly sure what’s happening.”

  “Can’t you get her to her chamber?”

  “We’re not sure if we should move her, my lady.”

  “Oh, for goodness’ sake. Where is Lord Evan? Where are my mother and the earl?”

  “They’ve all gone into town for the day. Bertram will try to find them when he summons the doctor.”

  Was no one ever here when help was needed? “Isn’t there anyone who can help? Surely some of the servants have had experience with childbearing.”

  “Yes, two maids are with her at the moment.”

  Sophie burst through the parlor door. Ally was lying on the floor on her back, her eyes squeezed shut. Two maids—Sophie recognized them as Haley, a downstairs maid, and her mother, Elspeth—tended her.

  “What is going on? Is my sister all right?”

  “I’m afraid her water has broken, my lady,” Haley said.

  That didn’t sound good. “What does that mean exactly?” Sophie asked.

  “It means she has begun labor. The baby is coming.”

  Sophie gasped. “But it’s too early! She hasn’t yet reached eight months.”

  “Shh, my lady,” Elspeth said. “You don’t want to scare your sister.”

  Sophie clamped her hand over her mouth. No, she certainly didn’t want to do that. “All right, then. What are we to do now?”

  “Millicent has gone for some linens and toweling, and Cook is boiling water. We need to make her as comfortable as possible until the doctor gets here.”

  Sophie knelt beside Ally and took her hand. “Ally, dear, are you quite all right?”

  Ally opened her eyes. “Oh, Sophie, thank goodness you’re here. I…I don’t know what’s going on. I shouldn’t be going into labor for about a month yet, but my bag of waters…”

  Sophie braced herself. She had to be brave for Ally. She was not used to such. Ally had always been the brave one. She gritted her teeth and inhaled, letting the air out slowly. “Now, Ally, you’re going to be absolutely fine. Bertram has gone for the doctor, and he will also find Evan and Mother and the earl. They will be here for you. Just think… In a little while, you will be a mother. And I will be an auntie.”

  That got a small smile out of Ally. “If only it didn’t hurt so damned much!”

  Sophie resisted the urge to admonish her sister for her curse. Now was certainly not the time. “I know, dear. I know. Millicent has gone for some linens, and Haley and Elspeth are here, tending to you. I am right beside you, and I will be the entire time. I promise.”

  “Thank you, Sophie. I don’t think I could get through this without you.”

  “You won’t have to.”

  “Oh!” Ally gripped Sophie’s hand like a vise. “This child is trying to kill me.”

  “Breathe, Ally. Breathe. This is exactly what mother went through when she brought both of us into the world. Lily and Rose have both been through it, and you will get through it too.”

  “Lily and Rose were both attended by physicians when they gave birth. Where in the hell is that doctor?”

  “I don’t know how long ago Bertram left. Do you want me to ask Graves?”

  “No, no. Don’t leave me.”

  “Very well.” Sophie turned to the older maid, Elspeth. “Would you please go check with Mr. Graves and find out how long ago Mr. Bertram left?”

  “Yes, my lady.” Elspeth rose and left the parlor.

  “Most first babies take a while to come,” the younger maid, Haley, said. “I know you’re in pain, my lady, but there really is no reason to worry. The doctor will be here in plenty of time. You will be laboring for hours, perhaps even a day or two.”

  Ally’s eyes shot open, wide as dinner plates. “A day or two?”

  “For goodness’ sake, Haley, don’t frighten her,” Sophie admonished. She turned back to Ally. “I promise you, everything will be all right.”

  How she hoped she spoke the truth.

  Before she could ruminate any further, Ally let out a blood-curdling scream.

  * * *

  Zach returned to the theatre after a light luncheon. He headed to his office to make some changes to tomorrow’s schedule for rehearsals. He had told the actors and actresses to be at the theatre tomorrow at nine o’clock. He wished he’d said eight o’clock. Too late now. He couldn’t send word to them in time, so he had to make some adjustments to allow for the extra hour he needed. He entered his office.

  And there, seated behind his desk in his leather chair, naked as the day she was born, was Nanette.

  Zach let out a sigh. Why had he not been able to get through to her? He’d had his share of women, and most were fine when the end of the relationship came. However, a select few had not been able to accept the fact that he was done with them. Unfortunately, Nanette was proving to be one of the latter.

  “Good afternoon, handsome. I trust you had an enjoyable luncheon?” Nanette smiled.

  “What are you doing here, Nanette?”

  Nanette flicked her gaze down to her exposed breasts. “I should think that’s fairly obvious.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you that what we had is over?” Zach removed his jacket and hung it on his brass coat rack. “I no longer wish to have a personal relationship with you.”

  “Well, it just so happens that I don’t accept that.”

  “You have to. We are over. That is final. Now if you’ll kindly leave my office.”

  Nanette stood. “All right, if you insist.” She stood, her blond hair cascading over her shoulders, her nipples perky and erect. She walked to his office door and opened it.

  Zach gasped. “For the love of God, Nanette, put your damned clothes on!”

  Nanette shut the door and turned, smiling. “I’m afraid I don’t have any in here, Zach.”

  Zach looked around. Sure enough, not a shred of female clothing graced his office. “How in the hell did you get in here without any clothes?”

  “I sneaked in from the costume room.”

  “You’ve been running around my theatre stark naked?”

  “Don’t be such a ninny. No one saw me.”

  “You’d better hope to God no one saw you. I swear to you, Nanette, if I get one complaint about your behavior, you will no longer have a place at this theatre. I have a new lead soprano. While I can certainly use you in supporting roles, you are no longer indispensable. Any of the other sopranos can take your place now.”

  Nanette’s eyes blazed with blue fire. “So you’re going to dismiss me now, are you?”

  “I don’t want to dismiss you. I made that clear. I still have use for you here at the theatre. But if you find you cannot accept the fact that our relationship is to be entirely professional from here on, I will have no choice but to throw your arse out of here.”

  “Oh, Zach,”
Nanette cooed. “You could never throw my arse out of here. Not when you’ve had so much fun fucking it.”

  Zach let out a chuckle. “You’re a decent enough fuck. I’ll give you that. But your cock sucking leaves much to be desired. I’ve grown tired of it. I’ve grown tired of you.”

  “So your perfect Lady Sophie sucks cock better than I do, then?”

  He wouldn’t know. But he hoped to find out. “I am interested in Sophie’s voice. She has a gift, and she is finally willing to share it with the good people of Bath.” He hadn’t yet even shown Sophie his cock, but the thought of her rosy lips wrapped around it… Sophie was untried, had never been kissed, let alone sucked anyone’s cock. Already, though, he knew having his cock in her mouth would be infinitely better than having it in Nanette’s mouth. Lord, he wanted it.

  “You will be sorry about this, Zach. I can make your life miserable.”

  Zach seethed. Who did she think she was, anyway? “That’s it. You are dismissed from the theatre. Now get the hell out of here and put some fucking clothes on.”

  She stomped out, her breasts jiggling, and slammed the door.

  Good riddance. But now he had to completely redo all the schedules, substituting one of the lesser sopranos in Nanette’s role.

  That damned bitch.

  * * *

  “Ally, Ally, what is it?”

  “She’s just having a bad contraction, my lady,” Haley said.

  “Isn’t there anything you can give her for the pain?”

  “No, I’m sorry, my lady. I wish there was. Mayhap the doctor will be able to when he gets here. Childbirth is just one of those pains we women have to bear. Oh, here comes Mama.”

  Elspeth walked briskly back into the parlor. “Mr. Graves said Mr. Bertram left nearly an hour ago in a coach. So the doctor should be along anytime now.”

  “Thank God,” Sophie said under her breath. “Did you hear that, Ally? The doctor should be here soon. Hold tight, and hold on to my hand. I promise you I’m not leaving your side.”

  Millicent, Ally’s maid, arrived with the linens and toweling. “Let’s get several layers of these linens underneath her. We don’t want her staining this fine Oriental rug.”