by Joyce Alec
“He brought us a lovely book, as a wedding gift, in fact,” Agnes continued.
“That’s very thoughtful,” Alice replied. “I believe there is no better gift than a book.”
“I daresay you would believe that,” Agnes replied.
Alice’s cheeks were brighter than Agnes could ever recall seeing them. She furrowed her brow.
“If I knew you at all, dear friend, I would say that all of this talk of my husband’s brother has caused you some sort of…stress.”
Still Alice said nothing. She straightened the same corner of the quilt before attempting to do so again.
“Alice?” Agnes asked, smiling at the young woman.
Alice stood up straight, finally releasing the quilt. She looked back at her friend.
“I just admire him, that’s all.”
“Admire him?” Agnes asked, getting to her feet and sitting down on a settee by the window. She motioned for Alice to sit next her. Agnes could laugh with the surprise of it all. So the color in her cheeks did mean something!
“Yes,” Alice replied. Her wide, doe eyes had returned to their normal comfortable control, and her poise and grace were as evident as ever. It was almost as if she had never reacted strangely at all.
But Agnes knew better. Alice was very good as masking her true thoughts and feelings. In fact, she was so good at hiding her emotions, that she could fool almost anyone.
Anyone except Agnes, that is.
“How so?” Agnes prodded. “Why do you admire him?”
“He’s a man of great faith,” she replied, avoiding eye contact with Agnes. “And he is kind. Much more kind than most men of his stature.”
“Robert is kind,” Agnes said, dropping all formalities.
“He is indeed,” Alice returned. “It must be a family trait.” Then she laughed, a small, almost pitiful laugh, as she nervously smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles in her dress.
“What is it?” Agnes asked, almost hesitantly.
Alice looked at Agnes. “It’s just…I have not met a man quite like him. The way he talks of literature and of his life. I have yet to meet a man who finds books half as engaging as I do,” she said.
Alice picked at the stitching of her dress absently, and looked at Agnes. “It’s rather silly, I suppose. He’s quite the ideal man for any woman with any sense…”
Agnes felt a flicker of fear stir inside of her.
“No matter though,” Alice said, even more quietly. “I could never marry someone like that.” And then she smiled, but it was hollow and didn’t touch her eyes.
Agnes sighed and smiled sadly in reply. She placed her hands on Alice’s shoulders, forcing Alice to look at her.
“I understand what you mean, my friend,” and they stared at each other for a moment. “Truly, I do. I can see what you are attracted to in him.”
At the word attracted, Agnes felt Alice squirm under her hands. Perhaps it had been a bit too strong of a word, or perhaps it was simply a bit too honest.
“But,” she continued, and the word hung in the air like an uncomfortable weight on them both, “That…that is just something that could not be, Alice.”
Agnes’s voice was quiet, and she hoped gentle.
Alice still smiled, a sort of lopsided smile, as if something was bitterly sweet, then she shook her head, and the smile became genuine.
“Of course, dear friend. It was foolish for me to ever entertain such thoughts. What could a man like that ever see in me? And more than that, why would any man who was the son of a duke fall in love with a simple maid?”
Agnes clutched her friend’s arms even more tightly. “Alice, you are a wonderful woman. I think there are few men in the world who would be worthy of you, regardless of your position. I do not think that even a prince would be worthy!”
Alice laughed, and Agnes eventually joined her. The two women embraced, the tension leaving the room like an afternoon breeze.
“Oh, heavens. So you are all right then?” Agnes asked, standing up.
Alice nodded her head, and Agnes could see any sort of reservation there previously had gone. “Yes, I am. You are right, of course. Except about the prince part. That is just ridiculous.”
“I stand by what I said,” Agnes said. “Now, if you would be so kind, could you help me dress for luncheon? I wish to wear that lovely blue dress with the lace I bought in Brighton, but I shall never be able to get into it on my own.”
The two women continued to talk, but Agnes’s thoughts were still on her conversation with Alice about her brother-in-law. The idea frightened her, because Alice would get hurt by pursuing her attraction to Robert. Not only could something like that the match never happen, but it could seriously damage her reputation.
No, it was better that Alice was spurned for her affections than to allow her to dwell on them and cause far more trouble for her down the road. It was better that Alice was a bit embarrassed now and that only Agnes knew. If Robert were to ever discover her feelings, Alice’s embarrassment would change to shame.
Agnes made sure to give her friend an extra hug before meeting John and Robert for lunch, hoping that Alice knew that she cared deeply for her and only sought to protect her and her heart from the realities of the world around them.
3
Fire and Ice
Robert accepted his brother’s invitation to stay at Bridgewater as a guest through the rest of the month. John told him that Agnes had been the one to suggest it, and that he would be most pleased to have the company.
Even though he lived a few miles away, the ability to be out of his parents’ and sisters’ hair for some time seemed like a blessed relief.
“They have been almost insufferable since you left,” Robert informed John one morning over breakfast. “They have decided that their new favorite pastime is discussing potential marriage candidates in front of me as if I were not there, and then they see how long it takes before I lash out at them and leave the room.”
“Well, it sounds as if nothing has changed,” John replied, smirking at his younger brother.
Robert rolled his eyes. “I am the only target of their antics now. Consider yourself officially disowned by me.”
Agnes laughed. “I love your sisters and their company. They are darlings, and they mean well.”
“Well, of course you would find them to be darlings, for they are not your sisters, and they have no cause to torment you,” John went on.
“Well, they are my sisters now. Perhaps I shall say something to them next time we have them over,” she added.
John laughed, but shook his head. “That would only encourage them, my love. Better to ignore them, and eventually, they find it less enjoyable.”
Robert found John and Agnes to be delightful company, and it was only when they went to town one afternoon that he found himself quite alone.
He wandered the long, lonely halls of the manor, the silence a pleasant companion. The staff stayed out of his way, and it left him the chance to peruse his brother’s library in peace. He decided on a little self-indulgence and took his afternoon tea in the study where he had discovered the most wonderful collection of sermons by a pastor he greatly admired. He had no idea that his brother had the sermons in his collection. Robert owned copies of them himself, but he enjoyed returning to them after some time and seeing how the same words read differently, and spoke differently, to him.
He was entirely wrapped up in the second book of the series when he heard something clatter against the ground. He glanced over the top of his book and noticed the fiery red-haired maid whose eyes were fixed on the metal tray on the floor.
For a moment, they simply stared at one another, him with curiosity, her with frightful anticipation.
“My apologies, my lord,” she said, stooping to pick up the tray. “His Lordship gave me permission to borrow books from his library. I didn’t know anyone was in here. Again, my apologies.” She kept her head bowed, and all he could see was the top of her tight p
lait of hair.
“No need,” he said, sitting up, and smiling at her. “Truly, it was no trouble at all.”
She briefly looked up and then quickly bowed her head again, as if waiting for some sort of instructions.
After waiting a moment, she turned to leave.
“You may choose a book. Please don’t allow my presence to bother you,” he told her and laid back against the back of the chair once more.
“Yes, my lord,” she said, and walked over to the bookshelf.
Alice was very methodical as she perused the library shelves, Robert realized as he partially watched her progress through the room. She had an eye for detail and made sure to return everything exactly as she had found it. After choosing a book from the shelf, Alice walked over to a table and moved a little marble statuette just so, so that it caught the light of the sun and looked almost lifelike.
“I can see why Lady Bridgewater appreciates you so much,” said Robert.
Alice was startled at the sound of his voice. She looked at him over her shoulder with her cool grey eyes.
Fire and ice, he thought. She’s made up of both.
“I do not understand, my lord,” she said, moving farther away from him down the room.
“You are incredibly proficient,” he began. “You do not cut any corners, and you even attempt to make things more enjoyable. Such as that statue,” he said, pointing to the marble woman she had just walked away from. “You did not need to do what you did, but you took extra care to ensure you notice small details.”
Alice glanced nervously at him before looking at the statue. “Her Ladyship was given that statue from her dear grandmother when she was a girl. It is very special to her, so I always take special care of it.”
“But it isn’t just that,” he said. “You take special care of Lady Bridgewater in general. You are…” he trailed off. He was treading into dangerous territory, speaking as casually to her as he was. Agnes was not around, either; they were entirely alone. “You are unlike any lady’s maid that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.”
They stared at each other for a moment, and Robert felt his heart lurch in his chest. She was stunning, and he could not deny it. Her beauty made the simple dress she wore almost elegant, and her skin looked like porcelain.
And in that same moment, the line between them was more evident than it ever had been.
What harm is there in speaking with the girl? He asked himself. It is not as if I intend to engage her any further than that. I would never bring that sort of dishonor to myself or to her.
At least that was what he told himself.
“I should allow you to get back to your duties,” he said, and the words even surprised him. He was sure that he was going to say something more to her, but fear had won, and he returned to his seat.
She blinked and slowly turned her back to the shelf she stood beside.
“If I may, my lord,” she began a few moments later when silence had returned to the room, “What are you reading?”
He laid the book down on his lap and stared at her.
Her eyes were boldly fixed on his face, and he realized wildly that she must have been thinking the same thing that he had.
What harm is there in conversing?
It was awfully impertinent for her to engage him so informally, but he welcomed it, for he had been searching for an excuse to continue speaking with her.
Perhaps I am an utter fool, but I am going to ignore what I have been told. Conversing with the help is not wrong. She is a person, just as I am a person.
“My deepest apologies, my lord, I spoke out of line. I–”
Robert had been silent for too long, lost in his own decisions. He held up his hand to quiet her.
“Please, do not apologize.”
She seemed surprised by his response, and there was a color in her cheeks like a fully ripened apple.
He held up the book in his hands. “It is the second series of sermons by Reverend William Blackburn. It is a fantastic series, one I have read many times.”
She fidgeted with her hands nervously, but the rest of her presence was one of poise. Her gaze was on the book he held.
He looked at her a little more closely and asked, “Do you read often?”
She seemed taken aback, and she looked down for a moment. When she looked back up at him, her grace her returned. “I do, my lord.”
An intelligent woman as well. She just keeps getting more and more interesting.
“I do as well,” he replied, getting to his feet, and taking a step toward her. It was hard to be as close to her as he was without feeling as if he might be set ablaze at the slightest misstep. “I must admit, I have met few young ladies such as yourself who have been interested in books.”
She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. A bit of a sore spot, he could see.
“Did you have a governess growing up? Or did you attend school?” he asked.
Alice looked up into his face, and he could not read her expression.
“No, my lord. Most of what I have learned I have read in books. My mother loved to read and shared her passion with me.”
His hands slid into the pockets of his jacket. “How very interesting,” he said, honestly meaning it. “It’s quite wonderful that your mother was educated as well.”
The corner of her mouth curled into an empty smile. “It is something that I have been reminded of frequently, my lord. However, servants have interests, just like everybody else.”
Robert was shocked by her brash response and felt a twinge of regret for not choosing his words more carefully. “My apologies, I never meant to condemn you for it,” he added, seeing the hurt in her eyes. “No, just the opposite. I think it is wonderful that you enjoy reading.”
“Well, thank you kindly, sir.”
He turned and took a few steps away from her. He didn’t want for her to feel crowded if she was already feeling vulnerable.
“Are you the only servant that Lady Bridgewater brought from her own home?”
Alice looked as if she would rather be in any room of the house aside from this one. “I am, my lord.”
“Has the change been easy for you and Lady Bridgewater?”
She seemed perplexed by that question, for her brow pinched together into one smooth, red line.
“Perhaps for Her Ladyship. Even though she misses her family, she loves His Lordship dearly, and she is quite happy.”
“And you?”
He was asking her so directly that it was obvious she was uncomfortable. When was the last time that a man of his stature had paid such direct and close attention to her?
She looked all around the room as if afraid that others might hear her answer.
“You may speak freely,” he added. “You do not need to fear that others will hear what you say.”
She stared at him as if she had never seen a human before in her entire life. Surely she was comfortable speaking with Agnes, but he could not expect her to be as free with him as she was with her.
“I find that the staff here have not welcomed me as openly as I had hoped they would.”
“That was a very eloquent way of saying no,” Robert replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
She looked at him and glared. “Do not be mistaken. I am happy here. I am treated kindly and am awarded more privileges than most people in my position.”
He began walking back and forth across the room. Robert wanted to know everything about Miss Alice Thompson. “Lady Bridgewater certainly seems pleased to have you so close. You would think the two of you were sisters, not a countess and her maid.”
“I am pleased to be able to serve Her Ladyship,” she replied plainly.
“But the staff? They do not believe that your self-education is as valuable as I do? Or as I assume Lady Bridgewater does?”
She looked down, and that was enough to confirm his suspicions.
“Is this why you miss the staff that you worked with back at
your old manor?”
It was as if she snapped. Her head spun to look at him, and the gentleness in her eyes was gone. She did not seem angry with him, exactly, but he had opened up something that he suddenly wondered if he should not have.
“I do not miss most of the people I worked with at my previous place of employment. The staff here treats me quite the same as they did. It is not as if I flaunt my knowledge or my love for books,” she said. Her graceful demeanor had gone, and she was looking about with her arms crossed across her chest. “It is not as if I spent much of my time telling any of them that they too should be reading, or that I thought any less of them because they chose other things for their enjoyment.”
He simply watched her, fascinated that she was opening up to him. Part of him knew that this was wrong and he was putting them both in a situation that could harm them both, but he could not help it. She was intriguing, and she seemed just as curious about him and what he had to say.
She began pacing, slowly at first. “At first, I tried to share my favorite books with the other staff. If I loved it, surely someone else would, and then perhaps I could make friends. Her Ladyship loves to read, so she and I shared books. That was one of the many reasons we’ve remained friends.”
Alice huffed. “Many simply ignored me, telling me that I was wasting my time. Some told me outright that I was being disobedient. I could never understand how. I was scolded and told to hold my tongue whenever the mention of books came up. The housekeeper here was particularly scornful; she told me that intelligence was not something to be honored in a woman. I should be obedient, gentle, and kind. I would have done better in her eyes to throw all of the books I owned into the fireplace.”
She scowled, and Robert found her face quite beautiful when she was alive with so much passion.
“When Lady Bridgewater asked me to move here with her, I knew that it was partially out of pity, but nothing has changed. I am treated the same.”
Robert meant to protest. He knew that Agnes loved Alice with more affection than some siblings had for one another.
