by Amri Ackers
Well, actually, we don't tell our MC business to women, really we are that literal kind of boys club.
But even though I just said that dick shit, don't be freaked out.
Fuck, I didn't know what to say or not to say.
I love Sherry, but I can't drop my MC needs, either. Can't do too much that jeopardizes my already fragile position as the shit brother I have been lately.
Fuck.
The conversation after fucking was not so great. I was glad to have her pressed on my bike against me and not freaking out, but when got back in the motel room I saw that worry back in her eyes.
I couldn’t let her go. Wouldn’t.
"Sherry, my brothers - my MC is not dangerous. They are family. They'd never hurt you. And we won't let those shitbags hurt you, either. My Dad is...we're taking care of them."
Sherry looked at me like I was fuckin' crazy. "What the Thor kinda Tony Soprano shit is that?" she groaned at me.
"You want the fuck outta here, I know, but I am not fuckin' takin' you back to where you were."
Reality hit my Sherry hard, but she hit back. She bit back her pain. Looked at me strong. This tough as shit Sherry was the one who only ever stood up for me. She was my real family when my Dad was busy with MC shit, busy with losing my Mom shit, busy with all the shit but my shit.
Damn. Before I had the MC, I had Sherry. Fuck if I had either of those things right now.
I was being a fucking pussy and she was all strong. I needed to pull myself together.
And just like she had when we were younger, Sherry knew. Those sweet fuckin' blue eyes of hers smiled into mine and I was sound again.
And then my Dad, Bench, Loo, and Train were at the door, and like all MC brothers, they walked right the fuck in.
7 - Sherry
"OLD LADY?" I didn’t like the sound of that word whatsoever. Hanging out with a bunch of the brothers' old ladies for a night while he took care of club business, knowing he didn't mean their mommas (or did he?) made me wonder just what the hell I had started to allow myself to get comfortable with.
Cale laughed at me, smiling.
I couldn't be offended when his green eyes warmed like that.
At me.
For me.
To me.
I swear to Thor just about anything that man started to do was ready to make me agree to anything.
"Old lady means a biker's forever woman. It is a good thing, I swear. And you'll love these gals. They aren't hangarounds or like any regular broads-"
"Broads, Cale? What the hell old ass word is that? What are you talking about? You just said gals and broads and made sure that I knew they weren't hangarounds which I have heard you say before and don't want to know what that means even more now. Are they wives?"
Cale looked less exasperated like I was starting to feel and instead Cale was looking just humored by what I had said.
Humored.
He kissed me on the forehead, which I wanted to find demeaning or insulting or condescending in any way but all I could find it was really fucking endearing.
Really sweet.
Thor Almighty, I thought the word “fucking” a whole lot more around Cale.
And now my mind was taking me a in a direction I did not consent to.
He kissed me again, probably feeling the heat waves of my brain turning its wheels as he knew it did. But then his eyes looked serious when he answered.
"Old ladies are more than wives. Wives is a citizen thing. We take old ladies, they chose the life, a biker has the most important person in the world to him that ain't a brother, and the club protects her. She's like a member without being a member."
I smiled at him. I couldn't say anything because I was stunned at what my wheels were doing now. Because instead of thinking eep at more danger and gang sounding things, I had started to wax on that as sounding kind of nice.
"You have an old lady, Cale?" I said it and it turned from a laughing moment to a serious, sad thing in the blink of a sentence.
Fuck, what if he did?
I didn't really know Cale anymore.
Didn't know the world he lived in.
I wanted to puke.
"You interested in the position?" he laughed again.
But he still looked serious.
But he hadn't answered.
I wanted to to tell him so. To get him to answer me. Instead, I was stunned.
Was I interested?
"I'm interested in you, Cale. You know I don't want to be a member of the MC."
"Honey, you don't ride and you have all my favorite parts that don't become a member. You could be my old lady though, and babe that is making my dick hard just thinking about it."
"Wow." I actually said it out loud. "I love you, Cale." I hadn't meant to say that out loud, either. Right after we’d had sex, I’d said it. But the reality of the MC crashing over my brain had me freaked out.
"I love you, too, Sherry. But I know you don't want the life. I just want you in mine. We'll talk when I get back."
Fuck if I hadn't done enough talking. Life with Cale had always felt right, but the Life as an old lady wasn't something I knew whether or not I could handle.
***
I couldn’t believe it.
But I knew I was really thinking it. If all biker old ladies were like this, I could only hope to be this cool one day. The night that I thought would last forever waiting for Cale to come back was definitely not so. Sure, I missed him, but for the first time in my life I felt like I really had met people that I could be friends with. People that were fun to hang around with and that were interested in what I said.
As I'd been a freelance writer for several years now, I'd been working mostly with clients though I'd wanted to start writing some things for myself. And I didn't mean books I wrote to promote my business. One of the girls, Pink, was a graphic designer. She was actually the badass behind the awesome tank art many of the MC bikes had and she was all about talking shop with me. The other old ladies didn't mind, and even bitched with me about business and life in general.
They ran a cool tea and coffee cafe and crafting shop, and I swore that I must have stumbled into the coolest batch of awesome ladies that were entrepreneurs and...for once in my life they weren't going to look down on Cale. Not even how I'd kept in touch with them.
"Sweetie, we knew how you'd looked to him when he called you his old lady when he dropped you off that you weren't there yet, but baby you'll love it once you wrap your head around it," Lexi had told me. It was her twang I'd heard on the phone. She was the Brewmaster General at their Tea and Things Cafe, and she was also the least internet inclined and they were explaining to her just why the hell the cafe had to have wi-fi. We laughed, and she told me that it must be nice because that's how I kept up with my old man. "To beeeee" she'd practically squealed onto the end of it when she said it. And she gave me a big hug.
I loved these women.
So what alternate universe was I in where the badass biker ladies were the greatest chicks I'd ever met..and I said chicks...and I could almost stand being away from Cale after being with him for the past incredible days and shirking off our virginities in full force?
After the most incredible coffee confections in the world I'd ever tasted, we went to alcohol, and I drank for the first time in my life in a small enough amount I couldn't believe the floor still moved, and then we started on before bed tea, cuddling up with a movie. I didn't realize until I dreamt re-runs of the feel of Cale's hands on me, or him driving inside me, that he'd been there with me all along through my caffeine, alcohol, and tea haze.
I woke up more confused then ever.
I'd been too embarrassed to ask them whether or not they thought MC life was dangerous, and now I really wanted to hang with them.
When a big biker strolled in and it wasn't Cale, my heart sunk. But Pink's man came in and gave her the deepest, most intimate kiss I'd seen in my life it was like watching something...pornographic. Not beca
use of the ass grab (by Pink of course, she was such a firecracker) or the wandering fingers on her man, but because it was so clear how crazy for each other they were. It didn't matter who was around, and I'm the only one that blushed. They all seemed to be used to intense affections between a biker and his old lady. When they came up for air, Pink's man told me that Cale would be here later tonight, just some stuff between him and Prez going longer.
"Thanks. Is everything okay?" The big biker chuckled at me, a little startling from the leather clad man toweringly high over me, but he waved his hand off the topic, smacked Pink on the ass, and was roaring away before I even realized he'd totally dodged my question.
"Sweetie, we don't talk club business. We're just grateful they're alive and happy to have 'em around when they're here."
My thoughts and confusion must have been written all over my face, but I couldn't figure out what to say.
They just smiled and they ushered me to the coffee table, where the most marvelous confection called latte beckoned me in with its roasted, nutty scent.
I was gonna see Cale tonight.
We were gonna talk.
Thor knows what I was gonna say.
***
“There is no better place than by your side. You are where I wanna be...what we had then, what we have now..it is what I want. But the MC is scary!" I groaned. I was shrill then, "I said it!"
I couldn't meet his eyes then, but words I feared realizing happened, rolling out of my mouth like painful, sour stones: "I have always been too pansy and too naive too Miss Wholesome for you, and now that we are adults it is just worse. So tell me to get the fuck out of your life because I can't seem to own up to dragging my ass out!"
The fury of my words made me tremble. I slammed my eyes shut somewhere in my diatribe, but the very welcome feel of Cale's arms around me, steadying and squeezing me were pulled right from my dreams.
His lips pressed to my ear, and I realized he had actually pulled me up to him, because he was much taller than me and couldn't have done the thing with his lips otherwise.
A good thing.
A really good thing.
A thing I felt in every place and my ears that made me feel like my nerves lit up like stars at his touch, at every slight breath against me.
"You have always been good, in every part of my life. You will never drag that sweet ass out of my life, and you are gonna own being in it. You are what I need. Not some hangaround or someone who grew up hardened by the life from the start. You have always loved me and kept me grounded to reality, and not the world that anyone tries to sell us on. Outside of the club citizen life pegs me biker trash, and MC life pegs me hard as steel...but you keep part of my heart always with you. MC life is scary, but you love me, and that is scarier than anything because if you aren't mine forever there'll be two torn souls out there. I ain't gonna let that happen."
I couldn't breathe before. I didn't notice breathing now.
I just felt the stillness of me against him, a calm I hadn't known my whole life.
I had known that, together, my whole being would feel different.
I had known a part of him that no one else had and knew he could say beautiful things that drugged my mind past anything but clinging to him. He was my light in the fog and I knew I couldn't let go.
But that was distracting me from some cold, hard reality. The Love Of Your Life Is In A Gang reality.
He was the only man I ever loved. Did I really want to save myself for him?
Sacrifice myself for him?
Was it foolish, wishful thinking or truth when I thought no harm would ever come to me?
I felt how hard he clung to me, and I knew how hard the words I were about to say we're for both of us.
"Put me down."
Almost as hard as the next ones.
"Let me go."
***
“I know you’re gone for me like I'm gone for you, babe, so don't even bother trying to deny it."
Well, I was desperately glad to see him. But now I was pissed.
Pissed.
Because I couldn't decide whether I should be mad at him, or mad at me...
"I am gone for you, Cale. I've always been. And I know that you're not like my uncle and those guys-"
"That's right." I could tell he was talking tight through his teeth because he was mad. That was understandable. I just really didn't want Cale to be mad at me. I didn't want to have to deal with any of the drama, and I just wanted to go back to surprising Cale and having a real vacation before I came back to my business. But then I started to be mad, mad at Cale, so when he started talking again, my fire bit back and tore in a whole new direction. "Babe, you gotta see that I'm mad as hell that you got caught up in all the garbage, but babe it ain't your fault. They're only still breathin' because they didn't actually hurt you, and they aren't going to be in my goddamn town anymore after Dad deals with him."
"Cale, I'm so sorry your family got involved."
"Babe," he kissed my hand and held it to him. "The club is my family - and my Dad? He's the prez of the club, I thought you knew that, Sher."
We both laughed.
"I don't know anything about your club. And we don't know each other anymore-"
"See, that's where you're wrong," Cale scooped me into his lap so quick I couldn't process what was happening. With my brain. Other parts that seemed keen on what was happening perked up and let me know, and I was warmer than if I drank three coffees. "We do know each other. Everything else is just window dressin' to the fact that you've always known me, Sherry, and that you'll always know me. So you're gonna be an ol' lady, you're gonna be my old lady, and I'm going to show you what that's going to mean for every night while we're together. We're getting a place so you don't have to stay in this damned motel room anymore, and we're gonna be together. But first, let's do that other thing?"
In the arms of Cale Logan, about to be gently laid on the bed and do the very things I'd dreamed of for so long and more, all I could do was nod and smile. My voice returned to me when he yanked me legs around his shoulders and took me to a place that told me he undeniably knew me.
Back to our hotel, my memories were flooded with each touch from before with each touch now. I knew that even though I'd never had sex that what I was experiencing with Cale was worlds apart from the same again and again. After his mouth was on me, he was inside me, and the way he moved in my shook my world apart.
After several Perfects, I realized that I most certainly wanted to be his old lady.
Just as the words were about to come out of my mouth, the door to the room busted hard and my uncle walked in.
Cale tore on his jeans and shoved my uncle out of the room so fast that he never got a word out. I couldn't hear much of what was going on, but Cale opened the door long enough to tell me that his dad would be here in a minute and I was going to stay with the old ladies again. I nodded.
When Cale's dad, the MC prez with big patch and similar features to Cale, though lined with age still handsome, showed up, I recognized a man that I'd only met a few times when I was much younger. He'd been dealing with a lot of stuff at the time and I never saw much of him.
"Sherry, we're takin' care of your uncle, and he isn't ever going to pull this shit on you again."
"Thanks," I smiled, pulling the sheet close to me and realizing this was not how I wanted to really meet Cale's dad. As if he heard my thoughts, Cale came back, and I saw several leather clad bikers whom I'd met earlier outside. Cale pulled my clothes to me, then put his own on.
"Dad, this is Sherry, she's gonna be my old lady."
"That right?" his dad asked me.
I'd slipped into my sweater, and I shuffled my pants on under the covers, trying not look silly. "Yes, sir, I love your son very much."
Cale and I smiled at each other, and I thought I might melt to the spot with all the warmth his look gave me.
"I remember you, Sherry. You've been takin' care of my boy for a long time,
glad you're back and that we could help you get back on your feet after this shit with you uncle and his crew. We're happy to help a lady, 'specially the ol' lady of our Sergeant at Arms."
Cale and his dad hugged, and while I didn't know what that meant, I saw his dad hand him a patch with “Sgt At Arms” on it, and he told him something about having voted it in.
"No way you really remember me?" I said, feeling silly and wishing I hadn't said it.
His dad laughed loud and heartily, but he clearly was amused and not upset with me. "Sure do, well, I may not have been doing the things I needed to do as a dad then, but I'll never forget my son turning all his D's to A's and paying attention in school. Plus, those damn green pencils he loved so much. My boy's always been smart, you know that too I'm sure, but he never cared until you gave him reason to."
I couldn't hold back a few tears of joy when I heard this.
"Well, that's-"
I wanted to thank his dad, but I had nothing. Cale kissed me, and I felt a little embarrassed because his dad must have known what we'd been up to, but I was starting to figure it out.
Biker families were different. And I was part of one. It felt good and right, because I always knew that Cale was my family.
###
The End
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amri Ackers writes romances about dominant, possessive alpha males.
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