ZARA
Rafael studied me as Javier drifted back to sleep.
“Where were you during the fight?” he whispered, glancing down to make sure his friend did not stir. He took my elbow and ushered me several paces away. “Javier didn’t demand an answer, but I would have it now. You’re hiding something.” There was nothing of his usual playful, genteel manner as he pinned me with his gaze.
“Will he be all right?” I gestured toward Javier, stalling but wanting to know.
“Javier? Certainly. He’s taken worse. Now tell me,” he growled. “Where were you during the melee?”
“Where was I?” I repeated, buying time, rising and going to fetch a cup of water from a crystal pitcher.
But he followed right behind, clearly glad to get even farther away from Javier. “It is a simple question, señorita, no?”
“What question?” Patricio said, entering the den then, lifting his wide, blunt hands, a wry grin spreading across his reddened face. “Have you now taken to interrogating Javier’s intended as he lies there, unconscious?”
I practically melted in relief. I didn’t know what had awakened Rafael’s suspicion and ire so, but I was glad to have his keen attention now focused on Patricio rather than me…and Patricio practically put himself between us.
“I simply wished to know where she was during the fight,” Rafael hissed, hands on his hips. “And why she is not forthcoming.”
“Why does it matter, my friend? She is safe. You are safe. Even our friend Javier, though battered, is safe. Now we must rest, for morning is soon upon us, and you know what that means. My men are here,” he said, gesturing behind him to servants in the hallway, “to carry Javier to his room.” He turned back to me. “Come, Zara. My mother will have my hide if I do not see you to the guest room myself. You must sleep in the bed she has prepared for you, or I will never hear the end of it. And I pray you are ready now, because I myself am asleep on my feet.”
“You do not seem sleepy,” I said, taking his beefy arm and allowing him to lead me out. I looked over my shoulder as the men entered, gathered around Javier, and carefully lifted him on the blanket beneath him. I knew enough of 1840 culture that Señora Casales would not rest herself until I was in my own room—there would be no nursing Javier through the night, not when we were unmarried and under her roof. And Patricio would not rest either until he could reassure his mama.
“He will be well, Zara,” Patricio said, patting my hand as we walked. A maid silently padded behind us. To protect the master’s reputation or mine?
“Will he?”
“Oh, he will. Right and true, come morn. It’s been a big night, a fine night,” he said, pausing outside my door. He turned the glass knob and pushed the tall door inward. “Buenas noches,” he said, gesturing inward. “The maid will see to anything further you require. See you in but a few hours, no?”
I wished the proper answer was no. My body ached from head to toe, and suddenly I could barely keep my feet. “Buenas noches, mi amigo,” I muttered, even as the maid shut the door.
With one swift look, she took me in from head to toe and then firmly, silently turned me around. She unlaced my gown from the back, then sat me down and swiftly unpinned my tiny hat—I had forgotten I had it on. What an odd custom it was, I thought distantly, to wear a hat when it was for fashion alone, not any measure of practical function. She carefully set it on the table beside me. I wanted to ask her name, make polite conversation, but all I could think was I am out! Totally done. Cooked. Over this. And so I just succumbed to her ministrations, waiting as she loosed my hair from its pins, obeying her gentle command to rise as she lifted the heavy gown from my shoulders—up and over my head—and oh, what a relief it was….
She turned me again, moved to my stays, untied the stiff laces and then laid them across a chair. Then she took my hand and led me to the bed, pulled loose the comforter, and beckoned me silently to slip in, like an angel to a child, I thought.
I slipped beneath the covers and watched through half-lidded eyes as she drew them over me. Then she blew out my lamp, and her silhouetted figure silently padded through the door and softly closed it behind her.
In the back of my mind, I thought I should rise and peek in on Javier to make sure he was all right, or at least lock my own door, but it was in the back of my mind. The way, way back part of my mind.
CHAPTER 26
ZARA
The knocking at my door was at first a pile driver in my dream, surrounded by orange-vested workers, and then it gradually became the stark, spare knock it truly was. I turned and blinked, trying to focus, trying for a moment to figure out where I was, as I stared at the high ceiling lined with crown molding…let alone when I was.
And then it all came into focus. I was in Hacienda de Casales. Patricio’s family home. It was morning, the potential morning of Captain Mendoza’s capture.
I sat up with a start, my heart skipping a beat. I stared at the window and the gauzy curtains stirring in the breeze. I rose and looked to the door. “I hear you,” I said at last, as the person outside rapped again. “Who is it?”
“It is Hector, Señorita,” he said from beyond the door. “Pardon the intrusion. But we leave in half an hour for the wharf. Do you wish to accompany us or remain behind?”
I thought that over, eying the beckoning bed, still sleep-warm, for only a moment. “I will accompany you,” I said. “Come back for me when you are ready to depart.” I sank bank down to the edge of my bed and brushed the stiff pillow, as if saying good-bye, even as I pondered the fact that I now said things like I will accompany you and depart. I didn’t think I’d ever used the word depart in my life, other than driving a friend to an airport, where she left from a departure gate.
I’ve never even flown on an airplane, I thought. But here, now, I’d traveled farther than anyone I’d ever known or read about. 1840. 1840, Alta California. Top that, Buzz Lightyear…
I looked about the room, idly wondering if somewhere along the way I’d lost it, like Tootles in Hook, searching for his “lost marbles.” I felt kind of like that old man, scrambling to collect the bits of what he had lost, even as he tried to take in what he had found.
Another knock sounded at the door. It was a maid, the same maid, I figured, who had put me to bed last night. When I opened the door, I was sure of it. Her eyes were purple-rimmed and sleep-deprived, just as I was certain mine were. But she carried a steaming pot of tea and a biscuit on a tray, entering with a bob, and I welcomed her. “Thank you for coming,” I said. “I apologize for your short night.”
She set down the tray as I closed the door and immediately poured a cup of tea. “No matter, miss,” she said, in English. “If it hadn’t been you, it’d have been another. Now let’s get you set for the day, yes?”
Half an hour later, I emerged in the hall in my golden yellow dress, hair piled high and affixed with pins and the comb that Javier had purchased for me. He stood there, waiting, and his mouth dropped open for just a sec as he took me in. He tilted his head and then took my hand, lifting it to his lips. “You look…resplendent,” he breathed.
Judging from his expression, I guessed that was his equivalent of pretty.
“And you look…battered.”
“I gave worse than I received,” he said, a bit chagrined.
I laughed under my breath and took his arm. “Shall we go and capture a pirate now?” I asked, casting him a daring look.
“Of course,” he said, setting off with me in tow. “What else does one do with a Tuesday morning?”
So it’s Tuesday, I thought. Ever since I’d arrived, I had struggled to get hold of the year, let alone the month and day of the week. Something about his mention of it steadied me, centered me. It was a Tuesday. Tuesday. “What is the date, exactly, Javier?” I asked.
He paused, either taking in my need for such exacting info or trying to remember himself. “I believe it is Tuesday, the twenty-second of June, the year of our Lord 1840.”
“Quite clear about that, are you?” I teased, pulling his arm closer.
“I am, my love, despite last night’s exploits.” He slowed his pace. “Can you forgive me for that? For giving sway to fight, in the midst of all that was transpiring?”
I looked up at him but continued walking, urging him on. “Of course, of course,” I said.
“You are not angry? For the reason the crew of the Guadiana was so angry?” Again he slowed, but I urged him on.
“No, no,” I said, heaving a sigh. “My only concern is for you, Javier—you. I am not lost in some jealousy about a day I was not even a part of.”
He pulled me up short. “But you were a part of that day. The biggest part of that day, in retrospect.”
I looked up into his bruised face, his left eye now as puffy as I guessed my own had been a couple days ago. I met his steady, intense gaze and accepted his palm as he caressed my cheek. “Yes, I was a part of that day. The end of that day. But you owe me no apologies for the beginning of it.”
“You were the end,” he whispered, running fingers across my cheek, my temple. His caress sent shivers down my neck, shoulders, back. I turned to face him fully, aware that others were looking our way, but ignoring them. He lifted his other hand and cradled my face between his palms. “You were the end,” he repeated, “but also the beginning. Before you, Zara Ruiz, I was racing toward death. When I met you, I began racing toward life.”
I stared back up into his brown eyes, wondering what tortured him so. Why he pledged such love, as if it pained him to do so. As if he were saying good-bye.
I frowned. “Javier?”
He stilled, took a deep breath, then looked down, letting it out. Taking my hand, he secured it around the crook of his arm. “Come,” he said, “let us go and capture your captor. Perhaps he can point us in the direction of that young man who has your golden lamp as well.”
“Javier? Is there something else going on?” I tried again, as we walked down the road, straight toward the harbor, skies pink as the clouds caught the rising sun’s reflection.
But even though he was distracted by a newcomer’s greeting, I had the distinct impression that he welcomed the interruption. My stomach turned into a tighter knot. What could he be keeping from me? And why? I wanted to demand he tell me, right then and there, but he was engaging the other man, shaking hands, exchanging small talk. And by the time they were done, he whisked me into a carriage, while he rode astride his mare, found that morning on the outskirts of Monterey.
Kinda convenient, I thought. Me riding in this vehicle, him outside. I shook my head. It didn’t matter. I’d get it out of him eventually. For now, we both had the same goal: Capturing Captain Mendoza.
CHAPTER 27
ZARA
Captain John Worthington welcomed us aboard his ship, the Emma Jane. The men carried our few bags and even led a couple of our horses across the gangplank—to make us look like passengers, Javier explained. But it was all a way for us to covertly watch the ship moored just off the pier, the Siren’s Quest. This was the new ship that Mendoza was to board. Then our men and Worthington’s crew would attack, all in an effort to ferret out the pirate and take him to the magistrate in town—in chains.
“They’ve been taking on provisions and goods all morning,” John said to us, his back to the Siren’s Quest. “My man in the crow’s nest has been keeping a keen eye out for our friend, but so far, no passengers have been taken aboard.”
“So he has yet to come,” Javier said, casually leaning against the rail, as if he hadn’t a care about any other ship.
“Or he somehow boarded under cover of darkness. My crew was watching, but we both know a pirate can find ways to accomplish his goals.” He turned to eye the neighboring ship a moment and then crossed his arms. “They’re taking on stores of water now. It won’t be long until they hoist sail and head out. If we’re to make our move, it will have to be soon.”
Javier offered his arm, and we began to walk the deck. I was on the interior, looking out to sea, Javier on my right. “Tell me what you see,” he said.
“Three masts, an American flag. An efficient crew going about their tasks. None of them seem nervous; none are looking about, only tying knots, fixing sails, hoisting cargo from rowboats below and whatnot.”
“Hmmm,” Javier said, as we reached the stern of the ship and then resumed our walk up the other rail. Now he could look across my shoulder to study the ship himself.
“Do you think Patricio got it wrong?” I asked. “Or that Mendoza booked passage as a ruse?”
“It’s possible,” he said, his brow furrowing further. “But I hope not. If so, we might have lost both our enemy and your lamp.”
I looked to the harbor. “The lamp was never truly mine or your mother’s,” I muttered. “It comes to those it’s supposed to, I believe. If it’s supposed to come back to me, it will.”
He pulled me to a stop as I turned. “You seem very certain of that.”
He didn’t know of my deal with the gambler. That I’d let him slip away with only a promise to do what he said he would. Had I been a total fool? Or would it prove to be a wise decision? Regardless, I doubted I would’ve gotten the lamp back, even if I’d screamed. The man had been easy on the horse, fully in control. And it was as he said…if I screamed, he’d likely have been well away before anyone gave chase. In the dark.
“I am certain,” I finally said, daring to raise my gaze to his. “There’s only so much control we have in this matter, Javier. Any of it.” I lifted my hands. “With Mendoza,” I said in a whisper. “Or the lamp. Last night…well, let’s just say I’m coming to decide that we must make the most of the time we have, with the people in front of us, rather than always wondering about what it might be like elsewhere, with others. An entire life and all kinds of love might be wasted if we’re always panting after what we don’t have rather than appreciating what we do.” I put my hand on his chest and looked up to him. I wished he would kiss me or hug me. I needed him to.
But while he covered my hand briefly with his own gloved hand, he didn’t. Because we were in such a public space? Instead, he took my hand and set it on the crook of his arm again. “I hear what you are saying,” he said. “But I want you to have a choice, Zara. About the lamp, about your life’s path,” he said carefully, as two crew members passed us.
“I tried to make that choice,” I said quietly. “The night before the attack on the harbor, right? You were with me. We said our good-byes, and I tried to wish my way home. But God clearly denied me that passage.”
He pulled me to a stop and turned to face me again. “I believe that is because as fervently as you were praying, wishing your way home, I was as fervently praying that the Lord would leave you right beside me.”
My eyes widened, and I stared at him. Was he saying…?
He nodded and took both my hands in his. “I do not know if my care for you would have such power to anchor you here, with me, Zara.” He lifted one of my hands and kissed the knuckles tenderly, even as his gaze never left mine. “And it is my dearest hope that you will decide to stay. But I shall not press you until I know it is what you want, as much as I want it. This life, in this time,” he finished in a whisper. “And after all that has transpired—” He broke off then, looking to the sea, then back to me. “I have to believe that your best interest is served in returning to your own home. That you would be safest there. It would tear my heart in two to see you leave me, Zara Ruiz,” he said, reaching up to tuck a tendril of my hair behind my ear. “But it would tear my heart in four to see you hurt again and know that I could have been the bridge to your safest harbor, when instead I was your barricade. And it kills me that last night, I was held captive by the sins of my past, as your precious lamp was spirited away.”
So there it was. At last. Why he was holding back. Why he’d been holding back since we were reunited, really.
He blamed himself that I was still here.
“Javie
r, as much as you loved me, as much as you prayed that I would stay, I think if God wanted me to go back, it would’ve happened. I confess that I’ve had doubts, since the day we were captured by Mendoza. Serious doubts. I confess that I’ve longed for home at times, for the familiar. And I confess that I wouldn’t mind having the option to try to return again, if I decided to.” I gripped his hand in both of mine, urging him to feel my passion. “But it wouldn’t be to ‘stay safe,’ Javier. Even in that familiar place, my own time, I would face other dangers. Other things that could hurt me, even kill me. Every day, whether I recognized it or not. There is no safe place in the world, Javier.” I smiled then. “There may be safer places, yes, and safer people. But no place can completely eradicate disease, or attack, or death. People making bad decisions, following evil desires, are everywhere, throughout time. But so are those who are good.”
My own words surprised me. But as I spoke them, I felt the passion, the resolve behind them as truth. In my effort to comfort and convince him, I’d done the same to myself.
He studied me, and I could see the hope warring with stubborn resolve in his dark chocolate eyes.
“What of the choices in your own home?” he asked, turning me to the rail, so we could not be overheard by people drawing near. We leaned against it, drawing our heads closer together. “You said women have more choices, more opportunities. To lead, to work—”
“To vote,” I added.
He stared at me as if I had sprouted horns. “No.”
“Yes,” I said with a laugh. “Believe it or not, women vote as well as men do.”
“That cannot be,” Javier muttered, seeming truly perplexed. “Women would be led with their hearts more than their minds.”
This debate will have to wait for another time, I decided. “You’d be surprised how well it all balances out. But I understand what you’re trying to say. Lack of choice or opportunity would be one of the most challenging aspects of remaining here,” I admitted. “But Javier, then I go back to what brought me here in the first place: my three wishes. What I wanted most was family, adventure, and love. I’ve found each of those in spades. A bit too much adventure of late,” I added with a rueful smile. “But I cannot deny that my deepest wishes have come true.”
Four Winds (River of Time California, Book 2) Page 14
