by KM Lowe
"Wheesht, ya big eejit. Let's get this lassie to her own bed for some rest."
My sides are aching as I laugh at Joel and Morag. Honestly, they act like an old married couple, but it’s good to see the relationship they have with one another. They have what I have with my adoptive parents.
My parents.
Instantly, my mood deflates. Markus scoops me up into his arms and I hit his chest. "I can walk."
"I never said you couldn't, babe, but I'm not putting you down until we're home..."
"Markus, come and find me at the clearing when you've finished with Lisa. We'll get finished up for the day," shouts Joel from the cabin door.
"Sure."
Again, I want to scream and shout. I want to stamp and have a tantrum. I want to bang heads together. I’m sick of being treated like a china doll. I’m not going to break any time soon.
We go outside and the cool, damp air hits me. I’m cold, but why when I have Markus wrapped around me, I don't know.
"You feeling okay, doll?"
"Yup." My flat tone isn’t entirely meant, but I’m having this out with Markus when we get home. I need to stand on my own feet, and the way he and Jasper wrap me up in cotton wool isn’t helping me. It’s making me feel weak and insecure, but I know I'm anything but. The way I felt in that vision keeps replaying in my mind, and I want all those feelings back. I can't wait until tomorrow to tap into Stracey's energy and see what can happen.
I look up and we’re approaching our cabin. Being stuck in my own head made our journey across camp seem like seconds. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Who cares? I tap Markus' chest and make him put me down. I push the door open and walk over to the coffee machine and push the on button. I need a huge energy boost.
"Okay, spit it out."
When I turn to face Markus, he’s sitting on the edge of the table, arms folded over his chest and his face unreadable.
"You need to stop treating me like a doll. I'm not going to break. I could have walked across camp. I need to show this pack that I'm not as weak and vulnerable as you all make me out to be."
I mirror his image and fold my arms over my chest. My frame is half the size of Markus’, but I can make up for his size with my tongue.
"I was worried sick, Lisa! Hearing that the one person you love has collapsed in the middle of nowhere is terrifying. I'm sorry if you want me to let you face everything alone, but that's never going to happen. I'm not going to apologise for needing to protect you. I don't expect my dad to either. We care for you. Love you. Our wolves are born protectors."
"I'm one of you, Markus. What happens if I ever get into trouble with another wolf? Are you going to tackle them to the ground, rip their throat out, and piss on the body?" I yell, probably louder than I should.
"What? You're being ridiculous."
"Am I? I want to feel like I can stand on my own two feet. I don't want to be a kept woman. A spoiled princess. It isn't me. You should know this."
"Oh, I do. Trust me, if I could step back I would."
Wow!
I feel like a punch landed in my gut, and the tears well in my eyes. "Don't stick around on my behalf. You know where the door is."
"That's not what I meant. God, you're impossible when you're in this mood. I need to go back to Joel. Can we finish this tonight?"
"There is nothing to finish tonight, because you're not going to stop mollycoddling me. Go. Do whatever you want, Markus. I'm going for a lie down. I better do as I'm told."
I turn on my heels and storm down the hallway to our room. The moment the door closes behind me, I slide down the door and let my head fall into my knees. The tears spill over and, before I know what’s happening, I’m a sobbing wreck. I feel like I’m losing Markus, and we've only been here one day.
Why is everything so difficult?
Chapter 14
Markus
My feet pound on the gravel underneath me as I storm through the woods. In my wolf form, wind in my fur, my anger and frustration disappear instantly. I wish I could take Lisa and piss off. Lock us away and live our lives. Although, I don't think our lives will ever be simple again. Before, going to school, learning, having fun, going out, it was all a part of growing up. Jasper granted me that, and I had the same life all my friends did. Now, it's like we're being made to grow up quicker than we should. We should be looking forward to going to university, getting drunk, living life, and making a future for ourselves.
I love the bones of Lisa. I always have. I always will. I know she’s stubborn. I know she’s independent. I keep telling myself that she’ll settle down when she learns about our heritage, but I can't help but think she’s trying deliberately to push me away.
My beast howls into the open space around me and I come to a halt as I see Jasper and a group of people up ahead. Some I know, some I don’t. When I come to Jasper's side, my head bowed, he turns to face me and ignores everyone around him.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
I shake my head and shift into my human form. I'm getting used to being naked around everyone. I notice a couple of other guys are butt naked and I shrug to Jasper and join their circle.
"What's going on? What have I missed?" I ask everyone that is watching my exchange with Jasper. I don’t want to discuss my personal life in front of everyone.
"We have every possible entrance covered. Julian has given us some of his enforcers to help with the guard duty," says Joel. He runs his hand through his hair and nods to Jasper to carry on.
"Markus, this is, Brodie, Callum, Lewis, and Sean. These guys are who I work with. Remember I told you us guys get sent in when help is needed? We act first and ask questions later. Well, with Carlos, we’re going to be taking over this mission. With Lisa still not shifting, we need to make sure someone is with her at all times..."
"Hold on." I shake my head at Jasper and he gives me his full attention. "I trust you, Dad. You know this. But Lisa doesn't want to be the pampered pooch. This wrapping her up, mollycoddling her, it's not what she wants. Look, I walked away before I lost it with her, and each of you will receive the same as I did if you think she's going to stand down and be looked after." I sigh in defeat, because I knew how difficult this is going to be.
"She’s just going to have to suck it up if she wants to live!"
Jasper looks over his shoulder to one of his enforcers and he bows his head. It’s one look, one silent word that says he’ll handle it.
Joel steps forward and pats my back. "I'll get Morag to talk to Lisa tomorrow at Stracey's. She seems to listen to her. Right now, we need to discuss what happens. I will say this, Jasper. Your guys need to realise this isn't a pack issue. They're not here to fix our pack. We work together as a team. Their attitude won't go down well if they treat our elders like dirt."
"Joel..." Carlos speaks up and clears his throat. "Joel is right. We're a strong team. No one is losing their life apart from the bastard we're all looking to get a piece of. We all protect Lisa and our pack. Our women and children are our main concern. We have the camp on lockdown. No child or woman leaves without a stronger pack member. We keep the exits guarded. We get Stracey to place some wards around the area. The moment someone walks near our camp that isn't one of ours, I want to know about it. We have no idea what we face. We don't know numbers, what help they have, or how strong they are. No one will get through us without a fight, but with Julian and his enforcers joining us, we're a force to be reckoned with. They're fools, the lot of them. Now, Joel will get the rota set up. Each team of men will rotate. If you're not on guard duty, you're in the camp keeping yourself on high alert. Stracey and Morag are willing to work with Lisa. Chardonnay is going to go along as well. My concern is who we put on Lisa when she isn't with Chardonnay and Stracey. I don't want to piss her off, but I don't want to put my pack in danger. Jasper, what do you want to do?"
"Leave Lisa to me. I'll talk with her. Joel, if I'm not on Lisa's tail, it can be you. She seems to have bonded with you."
; "No problem, boss. I can take her sass. I give it back as good as I get."
Hearing Jasper say that Lisa has bonded with Joel has my blood boiling. I feel my wolf prancing around in my head, but I know deep down that Joel wouldn't hurt or touch Lisa. I trust Lisa and Joel, but my wolf doesn't understand that.
Fuck!
"Okay. Joel, get everything set up. Bring the rota to me and Carlos when you've done it. We'll get a rota placed in the halls. That way, everyone knows where they need to be. Carlos, can you call a pack meeting regarding the new rules?"
"Chardonnay was on it. If that's everything covered, I'll head back. Any news, changes, or anything out of the ordinary, reach me. Jasper, if you guys need anything, just ask." Carlos backs away from the circle and hitches his thumb over his shoulder.
"Thanks. I'm sure we'll be fine."
I walk over to stare in front of the lake. I lean my head back and look up to the light blue sky. There isn't a cloud in sight. It's peaceful. Calm. I wish I could feel like this all the time. I wish I didn't have to be here to feel calm.
I wish.
"I hate seeing you like this, son. What can I do?"
I don’t turn around. I know Jasper is a few feet away from me. I don’t want to look him in the eye because I don’t want to break down in front of all these macho men. I feel like I’m in way over my head and I have no idea what to do. All I can do is take orders and hope for the best.
"Markus, talk to me. It's just us."
I sit down on the grass and focus on the mountains in front of us. Jasper sits down beside me and rests his arms over his knees. He doesn’t speak or push me. He just sits and gives me this time to comprehend what I want to say. That's the problem; I don't know what to say. I'm sure Jasper doesn't want to hear that I feel like I'm drowning. From the moment I heard Lisa had collapsed, until her outburst, to now, I just feel like I'm not in control of anything.
"What's wrong, Markus?"
"I don't think I can do this, Dad. In one day, our life has turned upside down and I feel like we're all being driven apart. If this is what being in a wolf pack does, I can't wait to go home." I let my hands run through my hair and I pull it slightly instead of screaming.
"It isn't what usually happens in a wolf pack, son. I've sheltered your life over the years, but this is your life. I'll do anything I can to give you and Lisa the best of everything. If you don't want to be in the pack, we return home when this is finished and never look back."
I nod, because I know that Jasper would give up his life for me and Lisa. That scares me, because I need him. I need him to guide me, kick me up the arse when I need it, and just be the word of reason. I need him.
"I've had enough. I don't know what to do for the best. Lisa is angry and anxious all the time. Today was the happiest I've seen her in a while, but then because I carried her to our cabin, I was the worst thing in the world. I wish I could go back to the way we were a few weeks ago."
I shake my head at how easily she snapped at me. It was as if I was the one in the wrong, but all I wanted to do was care for her, love her, and make sure she was safe. Why couldn’t she see that?
"Women are strange creatures. Tell anyone I said that and I'll tan your behind." My dad laughs, making me smile with him. "Lisa was worried, and quite rightly so. None of that alters the way she feels about you. You both need to focus on each other and block out all this shit. It will tear you apart if you let it. Think back to your life at home, what you both liked and disliked."
I let my dad's words sink in. I get what he means, I really do. I just need to stand my ground and show Lisa what we have is worth fighting this battle for. I'm going nowhere. She is going nowhere. We will fight to be together at any cost.
We'll work it out... together.
We must.
Chapter 15
Lisa
This afternoon has been one clusterfuck after another. Like I don't have enough to deal with. I collapse, I was a bitch to Markus, and now I'm sitting on my own in the cabin. Markus hasn't been back since he left a few hours ago, and I’m lost. It's like everyone is giving me space to cool off, but I have no idea why I got so hot headed. That isn't me.
Sitting here right now, I feel alone.
I sip at my cup of coffee and let the hot, bitter liquid run down my throat, burning and satisfying my craving all in one go. My phone vibrates on the coffee table and I lift it to see my mum's name flash across the screen. I take a deep breath, count to three, and answer the call. "Hi, Mum. How are you?" I ask in a singsong voice, to try and let her know that I’m enjoying this break away.
"Hi, sweetheart. I'm good. How are you? Did you set up camp okay?"
"We did. We're staying in cabins so there wasn't much to set up. Jasper and Markus are fishing and I'm just having a coffee. How's Dad?"
"Oh, you know your dad. He’s busy working. I just wanted to check in with you all. You take care, you hear? You need anything, just call."
"I will, Mum. Thank you."
"Bye, darling. We miss you."
We miss you. Three little words that make my eyes well up with tears, my heart break in two, and mess my head up even further.
"I miss you too. I'll call tomorrow. Bye."
I hang up quickly and throw my phone down on the coffee table. I had to end the call quickly because my mum knows me too well. She would have picked up on my sniffles. Just as I wipe my eyes, the door opens, and Markus walks in. He has a smile on his face, but his hair is dishevelled. His eyes are heavy. He looks like he has a lot on his mind.
"You just missed my mum's call," I tell him, and sit back on the couch with my coffee. I pull my feet underneath my bottom and stare into the corner. The couch dips beside me and Markus’ large, warm hand rests on my thigh, and his thumb rubs circles into my leg.
"How's your mum and dad?"
"Dad is working and Mum was just checking in. All good."
"Good." Markus lets his head rest back. He exhales loudly, and his hand lifts off my leg. Immediately, I feel empty. Just one little touch makes me feel like I could take on the world. Without him, I feel weak and helpless. "Babe, listen. We need to clear the air. I hate fighting with you. It's killing me. I can't think straight."
"I'm sorry." I turn slightly to face Markus, but it only makes my body squeeze up closer to his side. His arm comes around my shoulders and I let my head loll to the side to rest on his arm. "I keep saying sorry, but I keep having these childish tantrums. I don't know what comes over me. I just hate being made to feel like I need taking care of. I know I do, but in here, I don't like it." I rest my hand over my heart and close my eyes. "My head and my heart don't cooperate. I feel like I'm losing you, Markus."
"Hey." I shoot my head up quickly and gaze into his eyes. "You will never lose me. I love you, Lisa. This is just a blip. A big blip, but we'll get through it. I thought I was losing you too, but a wise man said that I need to fight for what I want. We might not know where we’ll be or what we'll be doing in five years’ time, but I'll always be here for you. I'll always love you. I'll always have you in my life."
Just getting all of this off my chest feels like a weight lifted. We do have a lot hanging over our heads, but we have lots of people who care and love us.
"That wise man. It wouldn't happen to be your dad, would it?"
"How did you guess?" We both laugh together, which is music to my ears. I didn't think that would be happening tonight after the day we've had.
"Ah, now this sight is making me happy." I look up slightly to see Jasper coming in, but I don’t let Markus go, and he doesn’t move either. "I’ve just come back to let you know that I’m going to Morag’s for dinner tonight. You have the cabin to yourselves."
"Jasper, you don't need to." I sit up and place my back to Markus' chest. I don’t move far out of his arms, because that skin contact I’m glad of. "You live here as well, and we're okay."
"I know. Morag always cooks for me when I come home to the pack. Don't be alarmed if everyone
offers to cook and look after me while I'm here. Besides, you guys need some time alone. There is plenty of food in the fridge. Don't burn the place down," Jasper jokes as he makes his way through to his room.
"I don't know what you think, but I think that bath has got our names on it. I'll cook us an omelette when we get out," Markus whispers in my ear
"Hmm… now that sounds perfect."
His lips linger over my neck, placing soft, gentle, kisses up to my ear. Feeling my body relax into his arms is amazing.
***
Markus
Lying here in bed, Lisa wrapped around me, her bare skin touching me, I feel like I'm a lucky guy, and my wolf agrees with me. This evening has been beautiful. Just me, Lisa, and the cabin to ourselves. We had a long, hot bath, dinner, and went to bed. We’re both lying here sated. Content. Comfortable.
The silence surrounding us is perfect. It's peaceful. It isn't something we've become accustomed to since we arrived here on the camp. It has been hectic, overpowering at times, but I feel like we've turned a corner tonight. I know I keep saying this, then Lisa throws another fit about something or other and we're back to square one. The same could happen again tomorrow, but I think we both know where we stand with one another. We're in this for the long haul. We're not going anywhere. We're not mated yet, but our wolves know what they want, even though Lisa's wolf hasn't matured yet.
When I was growing up, Jasper always educated me on our heritage. He always shared stories of what it was like for him growing up as a wolf, what it was like to watch two wolves in love with one another, the feelings it brings out. He hasn't left any stone unturned. I thought it sounded kind of magical. No two beings have a love like two mated wolves. Their souls connect and they share a bond like no other. Nothing can break that bond. Not even death.
I missed out on being a part of a pack, and I don’t have any memories of my time with my parents. I don't know if they had a special bond, if they died happy, or even if they loved me. Jasper is the only father figure I've ever had. He's been a damn fine dad as well. I hope one day I'll have that bond with my own kids.
