by Xyla Turner
His head nodded once, and I made haste while gathering my items all over the counter.
“Catch a ride with Pint,” Shiz said. “He’s outside.”
“Yup,” I answered while leaving the building. When I arrived at the empty bar, there was a huddle of women in a corner with serious faces. I recognized them and moved toward that way.
“What’s wrong?” I gasped.
“Oh good, come in here.” Dessy motioned for me to get a chair.
It was Lori, Kylie, Shay, Dessy, Phoebe and Vida that I met last night. All eyes were on Vida.
“What happened?” I asked again.
“Vida, here, is explaining what happened with her and Swag last night.” Shay filled me in. “She just started. Okay, continue.”
“Right,” Vida’s eyes were semi-bugged out.
The strong woman looked spooked.
“So, after the guys all started acting funny and left, I got curious and tried to go to an exit. Swag was there and told one of his guys, Jug, to get me and if shit went down to take me to his place. I tried to protest, cause Mami, I don’t like no man telling me what I will and won’t do. But you’ve met these Guardians.” The ladies laughed. “He was having none of that shit. To make a long story short, I end up back at his place, pacing like a fool. Listen, honey, his place is the shit. I mean, everything is neat, clean, stainless steel this and marble that. It’s a townhouse but it’s the shit. I was envious, and my place is really nice. Anyway, so he gets back around three in the morning, looking all kinds of fucked up. I was ready to give him my spiel when the man, I swear to God, pinned me up against the wall and kissed me like my life depending on it. I can’t explain it, but it was one, heaven, and two, hot as hell. Then he says, “Sleep with me tonight”.” She mimics his deep voice. “Not going to fuck you, but sleep with me. Please”. So, I did, and it was kosher until this morning. I woke up with that man’s goatee in between my thighs and Papi knows what he is doing with that tongue. Three, you hear me. Three orgasms and they were not back to back. He built each one up using nothing but his tongue. Whew.”
Vida started fanning herself and rocking back and forth. Hell, we all were fanning ourselves and rocking with her. Swag was hot as hell. I mean something out of a boxing movie with him as the hero or villain. His hairline was always shaped up and it was clear that he took exquisite care of his body, grooming and self. There was nothing accidental about Swag.
“So, are you going to see him again?” Lori asked with bright eyes.
Vida’s face grew serious, then she said, “I don’t know. I mean it was good and I know whatever he’s packing between those legs would be better but I’m up for a promotion and this is not the time to lose myself in yet another man. No matter how good he looks. This job is important to me.”
We nodded, then Kylie said, “I get that, but if he’s the one he should understand that. I gave up my career to take care of my mom. Met Razor and the man built a studio on the side of the house to ensure that I not only kept doing what I loved but to take my career to another level if I chose to do so. We rent it out now, but that’s my point. A good man will be a partner and not a hindrance.”
Shay nodded, then added, “True. Bronx pays for my tuition for school. Ensured that I applied and everything.”
Lori nodded and said, “Right, Apollo’s the same way. You know this. I’ve told you.”
“Same here,” Dessy chimed in. “Bear can’t stand that I’m here, but he makes it a point to be here with me.”
Vida looked at each of us and I swear dread was written all over her face.
“I-I don’t know. He, uh, could break me, and I know I look really strong and all, but I’m not,” she shared.
I chimed in, “Look, I’m new to this gang and the Guardians. But what I can say with surety is that Guardians protect. They can’t help it, it’s who they are. I’m not saying people won’t be people and men won’t be men. I’m saying, his intentions aren’t to hurt you, even if he does. That has to count for something right? I can’t talk but I would give it a try but know that these ladies here,” I waved my hand around. “If you do fall, we’ll be here to catch you. You’re not on your own.”
“Now, that’s true,” Dessy chimed in.
All heads were nodding and for some reason that also gave me comfort.
Vida calmed down after that as we continued to talk about babies, men, and our jobs. I hated mine but what were the alternatives. No museums were calling me back because I was too chicken to even try. I hated dealing with clients and the insurance company, but I also wasn’t doing anything else. If anything, our conversation urged me to get up and do something. What was the worst that could happen?
I KNEW JUG WAS SUPPOSED to be my tail, but I used him as my chauffeur instead, since I couldn’t drive. We went to the mall, I peppered him with a thousand questions about the club, the mission and this notion of having a women’s club. I simply needed to learn how to ride a bike or we could just be a social club with no bikes. However, the actual motorcycle club was cooler since we could all have bikes.
Jug actually smiled the entire time and didn’t really answer any of my questions except to tell me he was a prospect. Which I knew but I guess that was code for he didn’t know shit or he wasn’t saying shit.
The man was a good listener though.
The art store was not my friend, since they called for my money like no other business. It was a part of my plan so that was fine too. I had to get out there and put myself before the organizations that involved what I wanted to do.
I had to do that for me.
No one else.
To show my thanks to Shiz, I made a special dinner after Jug told me he liked roast. along with some red potatoes, and asparagus with red wine and his trusty beer. I wanted to show him my appreciation, finally.
We were still weird, or weary of the other but it was still something. I was afraid to call it, but he’d made these declarations and commitment. Hell, I’d had sex with him. I also didn’t entirely know what that meant for him, me or us. He seemed to know but then earlier in the day, he seemed weird. After he saw that picture, it grew awkward.
Fast.
Therefore, when a brooding Shiz called to say he wouldn’t be over that night, I packed up his food and put it away. That night turned into three nights which was odd since I didn’t know that I’d grown almost dependent upon him, even if it was to simply be there. He texted, asked how I was doing but he never showed up. He wasn’t taking me to work but had instructed whoever was watching over me, to take me.
Once the week ended, I was at Peppers when I saw the girls in their usual place. After a few hours or so, the guys started coming through including Shiz. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I was anxious and did not really know the best way to address him. So, when he saw me and his first comment was, “I didn’t know you were coming.”
My instantaneous response was, “What’s it matter to you?”
Well, well.
The ladies drew back in a quiet hush. Shiz drew back in an angry growl.
“Come again?” he replied in a menacing tone.
Instead of answering him, I turned my back on him.
Well, I guess I wasn’t in my right mind because he damn sure wasn’t in his. Shay’s eyes grew huge when she held up her hand and said in a warning tone, “Shiz.”
“Stay out of it, Shay,” he snapped at her. “Avery.”
The man was growling. His every word was a growl. The other women were looking nervous, but I just kept sipping my beer. It didn’t hit me how mad I really was about his absence. His let down.
It hurt, and I was no longer silly.
“Avery,” Shiz growled again.
I slowly turned and answered, “Yes.”
A tight smile was planted on my face. Yet, his was hard and etched with anger.
“What’s with the attitude?” he asked.
“No tude...” I shrugged my shoulders. “Just thought it w
as odd that I haven’t seen you in days and you show up here telling me what you expect.”
My shoulders went up in another indifferent gesture, then I smiled again.
“Can I help you with something?” I asked.
“Let’s talk outside.” He jerked his head to the side, but I didn’t move.
“No, maybe some other time. I came to chill with the ladies. This week has been an enlightening one and I just want to relax. You know what I mean. Need a break and all,” I shared.
Shiz’s face turned from human to a stone gargoyle in five whole seconds flat. Then he took a step into my space and said in a low voice, “Let’s go.”
“Not now, Shiz. Maybe we can chat via text. That seems to be the best method.” I realized I didn’t really care that I was probably poking the bear.
The ladies, to my surprise, gathered around me but I guess they saw what I didn’t. I saw his fist clenched and the etched granite face he had trained on me, but I knew he’d never harm me. So, I wasn’t scared but I also wasn’t about to move to his drum anymore. I knew how to play the drums. Well, metaphorically, I could. Physically, I’d probably sound like a toddler.
“That was you,” he hissed back.
My eyebrows went up because I didn’t know what he was talking about. Going through my memory bank, I tried to think of what could have been me, but I drew up a blank.
“What?” I asked.
“It was you.” He shared. “You’re the one that painted that picture and refused to discuss it. You brushed me off like we both didn’t know what it was. Like it was a fluke and not worth discussing. Then you’re going to stand here and get a fucking attitude with me for giving you space. You damn near ran out of my shop, so you’re mad because I backed up?”
Shiz was shaking his head and the move was directed towards me. It felt like he was saying, ‘Silly girl, tricks are for kids.’ Then he leans in a little closer to my face and asks with a snarkiness laced in his voice, “Take it you’re ready to talk now, huh?”
That little note had my arms crossing over my chest, then I tilted my nose up and said, “Actually, not really.”
One of his eyebrows rose, then he said, “Well, you know where to find me.”
Then, I swear to you, the man turned and walked away from me. Like, he turned his back on me and went to where the rest of the men were staring at us with curiosity. I couldn’t help but stare at his back as the emblem sewn into his cut grew smaller as he literally walked his ass away from me.
“Girl,” I heard Shay whisper.
“He’s just upset,” Lori chimed in.
Dessy and Kylie were silent, but I was fuming. I might have been wrong, but I also just got publicly dismissed.
Pure anger coursed through my body because I had a good mind to go over there and slap his goddamn face. Or maybe just splash beer in it but for once in my life, I decided to make a calculated decision. The smart one that required planning, follow-through and time.
Pulling some money out my pocket, I threw the bills on the counter and said, “I’ll see y’all later. Can’t relax here.”
They tried to stop me, but I was already out the door, heading towards my detail. Jug was off but Jesse was back on. Once I hopped in, he smiled and said, “Leaving so soon.”
“Yeah, it was crowded in there.” I tried to smile, then buckled my seat belt. “Can we go?”
“Sure thing, sugar.” the redhead, freckled young man said.
Once I said goodnight, put on the deadbolt on both the kitchen and living room, I set about starting my plan.
Something had to change, and it was changing tonight.
12 Chapter 12
SHIZ
This fucking woman was a pain in my ass and it took everything not to go in that house and kiss her until she told me what I wanted to hear.
Nope.
We were both taking the piss and I was miserable.
Sitting in my car watching over her was even more of a mistake because she was so close but so far away. Around two in the morning, I drove my ass home and tried to ignore the raging hard-on that I’d had for the past few days. My hand was of no help as he wanted one thing and she was not even talking to me.
The anger that coursed through my body was similar to when I finished burying my brother. I was alone again and upset with no release. My new brothers were instrumental to my transformation but now, it seemed more significant.
The loneliness.
My father.
My brother.
They were mine.
Her.
She was mine but now the pain in my chest reminded me that she wasn’t. That I was back in the very same place which made me think the ear-splitting migraine that was bringing me to my knees. That should have been my clue in the universe, that it was my time to go too.
Everyone that loved me was gone or left. Prematurely, at that. My pops was fifty-five. The man should have had thirty more years at least. He could have met her. Told me she was out of my league but wanted me to try. Not be afraid of taking a chance, but try.
And Jordan.
He was my older brother. Who dies of cancer in their early thirties?
People that love me, that’s who?
My fingers dialed a number I hadn’t reached out to in a long time. Only because life had gotten in the way and in some ways contacting him reminded me of a time when I was at my lowest point.
“Shiz,” the older man answered after the first ring. “Shiz.”
“Uh, hey,” I finally answered once I realized I hadn’t actually spoken.
“What’s wrong?” His voice was alert and there was noise in the background.
The man was probably on duty and saving lives as he saved mine. He couldn’t save my brother but that wasn’t his fault. Cancer was no one’s fault, it was just a disease running amuck without a cause.
“Shiz,” Dr. Brown called again. “Where are you brother?”
Yeah, I was now his brother, men a part of the same group.
“Home,” I managed to say. “I’m home.”
“On my way,” he said with no hesitation. “Sit tight. I’ll be there in fifteen.”
I wasn’t going nowhere. Shit, I was sitting on my kitchen floor with my head between my legs praying for relief from the pain that seemed to double. The same pain that was in my head and my heart.
There was no medicine to cure that. I heard the doorbell ring but I was in no condition to get up. A door opened and then I heard my name being called. The noise pierced through my head as if a bullhorn was right there.
“Shiz,” Dr. Brown yelled.
“Fuck,” I murmured.
Brown came through the kitchen doors and stopped. I could barely lift my head, which must have put the doctor on alert.
“What happened?” he asked while sliding to the floor to examine me. “Son, what’s wrong?”
This man.
He called me brother and son all within one hour and they were both accurate and true. I was a wreck when my brother died. Dr. Brown was the one that got me the grief counseling when I told him I had no reason to live. He was the one that connected me with Razor after he saw me watch my brother disintegrate before my eyes. The man gave me life and more brothers than I could count. He took me under his wing in more ways than one. I owed him. He shouldn’t be rescuing me when I was in crisis again.
“Fine,” I mumbled.
“You’re not.,” he replied. “Calling the wagon if you don’t tell me something.”
That’s right, he was a doctor.
“Just a migraine.” I murmured before I shrugged and added. “Haven’t had one since Jordan passed.”
“Hell,” he hissed. “Stress. What’s going on?”
“Nothing really.” I lied. “Just wanted to talk.”
He snickered and then said, “Yeah? Talk huh? How about, let’s get feeling better before we talk.”
Quickly, he stood, moved around the kitchen, some doors or cabinets opened and he was b
ack.
“Take this, drink this, and put this on your head.” He was in full doctor and dad mode.
Slowly, I did what he asked and then he was on his feet and pulling me up.
“Let’s get you in bed.” He helped me along.
With all the lights off, I crawled into my bed and nearly passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow. There were no dreams of unicorns or sheep. Not even my dad or brother, just her. Short, sexy, thick, quirky and the fucking love of my life.
Smiling up at me. Telling me she belonged to me. Me taking her and making her mine.
The notion should have been sweet but they were torturous because she wasn’t mine.
The next morning, my head felt one hundred percent better, but my heart was in no better shape. The smell of coffee hit my nostrils which gave me an ounce of hope. Could it be?
Trying not to rush downstairs, I sprinted into the kitchen and was met with a familiar black man in light blue scrubs.
“Oh...” I said as last night came crashing back in.
“Fucking good to see you too,” Dr. Brown laughed. “Foods there.”
He pointed to the microwave.
“Thanks.” I uncovered the plate and reheated it, then grabbed a mug of coffee.
It wasn’t until I was deep into eating my food that Dr. Brown sat on the stool across from me and asked, “Who is she?”
Oh fuck.
With my fork in mid-air, I moved my eyes and not my head to the older man, still in scrubs from last night.
“She?” I asked.
He raised one eyebrow on his bald head and said, “Can’t be a brother. Can’t be the shop. Can’t be family. Got to be a woman.”
I scoffed and scarfed down the rest of my breakfast and coffee while ignoring the lingering and now annoying man standing at my counter.
“Thanks for coming over. You didn’t have to,” I told him, while putting everything away.
“Must be right,” he said more to himself than me.
“And...” I let it hang. “What about it?”
The big man folded his arms over his chest and said, “Must be serious and if that is the case, then she must be important. A keeper but I don’t see her here. Thinking, maybe you let her go, which is odd because you held on longer than anyone to keep your brother alive. That man stayed here on this earth three months longer than anticipated and that was largely because of you. So, you wouldn’t have given up on her, which leads me to believe she left you. However, the brother I know, he wouldn’t let that happen.”
