by Sara Jolene
JT remembered fondly the first time they’d agreed to kiss each other. They were returning from a ball and had the carriage to themselves. Neither of them had had any sort of physical interaction with anyone before. They’d been talking about their futures. JT had gone on and on about medical school, and Abigail had talked about how well some of the other boys had danced that evening. The kiss had been her suggestion. She’d said that they should see if there was more than friendship between them before they gave up on one another. James had agreed that it was sensible. He’d leaned across the divide between their seats and pressed his lips to hers.
He remembered them being warm and soft, but that was it. He’d felt nothing else, and evidently neither had Abigail, because when he’d pulled away she’d looked right at him and said, “I don’t think that’s how that was supposed to feel.” JT had laughed and nodded. They’d both heard their friends talk of stolen kisses and touches, how exciting they’d been and how good they’d felt, despite the fact that it made them feel guilty afterward.
JT hadn’t kissed anyone for a long time after that. Not until he’d left for medical school. There was a nurse he’d met. She was very pretty, and JT had liked the way she looked at him. One time he’d found himself checking on the same patient as her. The poor man had been sleeping for more than three days and no one had been able to wake him. JT was hoping he’d wake eventually, but before he finished his exam the nurse—her name had been Daisy—put her hand on his back. It had been all the encouragement he’d needed. He’d turned around, and as inappropriate as it was, he’d kissed her long and hard right there at the man’s bedside.
JT had never felt anything like it before. They’d courted for a while after that. Daisy wasn’t worried about propriety or what society thought. She claimed she was a modern woman. JT knew now that he’d taken advantage of her. He hadn’t really enjoyed her company other than physically, but he knew it was the same for Daisy. She’d been further along in school than him, and once she’d finished she’d taken a post as a nurse out in Arizona somewhere. They hadn’t talked since she left the city, and JT hadn’t touched another female since. He’d vowed he wouldn’t until he was ready to marry.
JT turned back to try to let the stranger know that he’d stay watchful about the young Miss Benita, but the man was gone. He realized then that he must have been lost in his thoughts for a while, because they were almost to the cabin. The memories had stirred something in him, though … or maybe it had been the stranger’s warning. He stopped and touched Nora’s arm to encourage her to halt as well. He was surprised at the reaction his skin had to touching her. He’d never felt anything like it before.
“Mrs. Meeks, I just want to let you know that you’re safe with me. I know that there’s a chance some people in town will talk because we’re both unwed and you and the children are sleeping at the cabin. I want you to know that you’re all safe there, and the thoughts and ideals of some town busybodies don’t bother me.”
Nora smiled at him, and his world tilted. He almost fell over with the shift of it. “You’re very kind, Dr. Thomas. I owe you a great deal. You’ve saved my son and you’ve given us a place to stay while he heals. I never had a doubt of our safety in your presence.”
JT nodded, a warmth spreading from his belly to his limbs as her praise of him affected him. He smiled. “When we return, I think it’s time to head back to the Tent City to fetch your belongings.”
The pleasure that coursed through him when she simply nodded and smiled was better than even saving a life. A word danced around in his head, bouncing from one side to another, trying to get him to take notice of it. JT did all he could to ignore it, even to explain it away, but it persisted. With a deep sigh and frustrated movements, he began to walk again fighting the urges and the words that were assaulting him.
It was more difficult than he could have imagined, seeing his lovely Nora looking at another man like that. The doctor was a good man, and though Nathaniel knew what was to be and was doing all he could to encourage it, it still hurt to have to be the one telling a man to wed his widow. He knew the doctor’s reluctance would fade. What he didn’t know was how the man would win over Nora. Nathaniel knew better than anyone how stubborn she could be. She was guarded and careful. It had taken him years to get her to see in him what he’d seen in her—but then again, maybe that was because they shouldn’t have been together anyway.
He left the two of them to walk back together, jumping ahead to watch over the little ones at the cabin. Bekka was so good to all of them. Nathaniel was very proud of his little girl. Even if he’d had nothing to do with what kind of woman she’d become, he knew that she’d have a good life. He wanted nothing more than that for all his children.
Willie had been harder to follow. He traveled a lot with Mortimer’s son. He was a good man that would help educate Willie and encourage him to become a good man as well. Nathaniel was less worried about his eldest boy than the others. Willie was strong like Nathaniel had been, but stubborn like his mother. It was a combination that would take him far in life.
There was a knock on the door, startling Bekka and causing her to jump. Nathaniel didn’t recognize the man standing at the door, but wasn’t too worried because he knew that Nora and the doctor weren’t far. They were just coming into the clearing as the little girl went to the door.
Bekka pulled the door open, baby Tommy nestled onto her hip.
“Hello, young lady. Is the doctor in?’
Bekka shook her head while Nathaniel examined the man. He was sure he hadn’t seen him before. He was scrawny and wore a funny hat atop his head. He didn’t make Nathaniel want to tell the good doctor to hurry, though, so he must not have been dangerous. Ever since Nathaniel had died, his senses had changed. He knew when there was bad lurking. The man talking to his daughter wasn’t dangerous, he could tell.
Just then, Nora and James arrived.
“Why, Reverend Theodore, what can I do for you? Are you well?” JT asked.
The young man turned on the doctor like a viper. “There you are you … you … vagrant. Of course I’m well. I never get ill. I’m here because there are rumors.” He looked at Nora with disgust on his face, not even trying to hide it. “And from what I can see, they’re true.” He started to shake his finger at JT. “I thought better of you, James Thomas. You come from a good Christian family. I never expected this of you! I’ll have you out of this town, I swear it. No one will want to be doctored by you.”
Nathaniel made it so that JT could see him. “This one’s lost it, he has. What’s he going on about?” Though he knew exactly and was thrilled. The Reverend, however mean and petty, was doing the work that he’d been sent back to do.
JT shook his head and refocused on the tiny man screaming at him with his finger in his face.
“I demand you leave town sir.” He looked back to Nora. “And you as well, ma’am. Or perhaps I should call you something else, now that you’ve soiled both your reputations.”
JT stepped closer to the man. “I really hope you’re not implying what I think you’re implying, Reverend.”
The man dropped his finger and stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. “I’m not implying anything, Doctor. I’m calling it straight out. You two have been living in sin, and it’s my job to clean up this town. I won’t have it. Therefore you need to go. Now.”
Nathaniel was waiting for the doctor to get angry and demand the man leave his porch, but he was hoping for a much different reaction. He turned back to JT. “Are you sure this man isn’t crazy?”
JT laughed a little but shook his head. Nathaniel laughed at that too, all the while hoping that this incident would prompt the results he’d been working towards.
“Reverend, I mean no disrespect, seeing as how you’re a man of God and all, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Nathaniel deflated a bit. It wasn’t what he’d expected or hoped for. He’d been watching the doctor and his wife for a long time. He k
new that the two of them were going to end up together, but how? He’d been tasked with helping that happen. How could he do such a thing if he couldn’t even depend on what the doctor’s reactions would be.
“Look here now, James. You’ve done a lot of good in this town, but I won’t be talked to like that. I’ve said my piece. You all should get to packing. I’ll be by tomorrow to make sure you’ve gone.”
JT snorted at the man, which made Nathaniel laugh out loud. He’d never seen him do that before. “You know what, Reverend, you do that. I’m looking forward to your visit.”
Nathaniel could see that the man wanted to retort, but refrained. He knew he’d be back, though. It was just a matter of time before he really tried to push the doctor out of town.
Chapter Six
She shook her head. “You can’t possibly think we’d stay here after all of that.” Nora couldn’t believe what she just heard. Reverend Theodore had all but threatened to force them to leave town if they stayed living in the same space, and James was still encouraging her to stay. “People have already formed very unflattering opinions of me, I won’t have them doing the same of you.”
“Who has a negative opinion of you? You’re a widow and mother. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Nora paced and kept shaking her head. “See that is where you’re wrong. You don’t know …” She paused again, took a breath, then started over. “You’re too good a man to have me drag you down. The kids and I will gather our things. Surely we can find a place in town.” She picked up the thread she’d just purchased and put it on top of the fabric she’d been working on the night before. “I hear there’s a ladies’ boarding house opening in town. I’m sure they’ll have room, since it isn’t official yet.”
She watched as JT shook his head. “No. Nora. I have to say you’ll be risking Tommy and the girls’ lives if you go. The reverend is a hothead. He thinks he’s a soldier for God, but he’s going to get himself killed.” He shook his head. “And when he does, no one will think him a martyr. It was just last month that a group of men who still haven’t been identified had him swinging from a pole, a noose around his neck. Trust me, no one cares for his opinion.”
Nora had heard that someone had tried to hang the young preacher. That was when James’s nurse had cared for the man she married. The marshal had been shot in the back trying to save the nitpicking reverend from the lynch mob.
“I won’t have you run out of town because of us.”
Nora stared at the doctor. His face was soft as he looked at her. She had a pit in her stomach, thinking about how much she and her children had affected his life. He was so sweet and caring, and she’d been distant and took everything he’d offered without thinking about the repercussions. She hadn’t thought much about repercussions her whole life. That was part of the problem. Even as a girl, when her mother and father had been begging her to stay and not marry Nathaniel , she hadn’t listened because all she’d cared about was how she was feeling right then in that moment. She’d wanted him, so she’d done what she wanted so she could have him. She knew now that most of that had been lust. She’d made a mistake, allowing herself to be alone with him. And here she was, doing it again. She couldn’t allow herself to feel and not think anymore.
“James, you are a wonderful man but I’m not going to argue this with you. We’ll be gone at first light.”
Panic started to rise in James’s chest. The thought of Nora and the kids leaving was causing him actual physical pain. Willie’s return from work that day interrupted his opportunity to try to persuade Nora to stay. She’d gone off to tend to the children. Tommy was doing much better and had even been playing and attempting to crawl around earlier in the afternoon.
Willie was telling his mother and sisters all about how he’d seen a mountain cat, just like the one Mrs. Fontaine had slain on her famous trip to bachelor. JT felt every expression on the boy’s face. It made his heart happy to hear the child speaking of less worrisome things like mountain lion sightings, rather than how much money he’d made in tips that day.
The Johnsons had sent him home with two loaves of freshly baked bread. They ate thick slices of the bread with some strawberry jam that one of the ladies in Topaz had given to him and Hannah when they’d helped deliver her baby. JT made a mental note to stop into the mercantile and make sure they knew that Nora and the children were staying with him so they knew they were being well fed. He watched them all through dinner. It was nice to see them together. He wasn’t going to let them leave.
What he didn’t expect was the way he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Nora. When he’d first met her he hadn’t thought of her as overly attractive. She was pale and sunken and a little withdrawn. The kids were dirty, and she’d been cleaning over at the Clays all that day. She’d looked worn out. The last few days had been good for her. There was light in her cheeks, and though they hadn’t had time to fill in, James’s could tell that her face would be more round than oval once she had a few more good meals.
Her skirt was loose around her waist and her blouse hung on her shoulders in a way that made his teeth grind. She hadn’t been loved or taken care of for a long time, if ever. Anger welled in his stomach as he thought of her husband. She’d been married. She had five small children. Her husband had obviously taken liberties even though he hadn’t cared for her. He wondered what her home life had been like. Were her parents’ poor? Was she an orphan? Why would someone leave their life to marry a miner that obviously didn’t love them? The only good thing that could come of such a circumstance was that he might yet be able to convince her to stay with him if she’d been convinced to stay with the miner. He vowed that that night, after the children were settled into bed, he would find out. He would find a way to make her stay.
JT helped Nora with the little ones as they readied for bed. He sat in the chair in the main room with the children sitting on their cots and told them stories that his nanny had told him as a child. She’d told him stories with talking forest creatures, and others with witches and ghosts. He’d loved his nanny. She’d been there for him in ways that his parents never had been able. Or maybe they hadn’t had the desire. He wasn’t sure. Society was different back east. Mothers and fathers didn’t always raise their sons and daughters. They would hire other people to do it for them. They also had running water, electricity, and ate at restaurants. His life now was very different than his life then.
He enjoyed telling his tales and having the children sit with stoic attention as he changed his voice to fit the tone of the story. He snuck looks at Nora as she sat in the corner working on her sewing project. Occasionally he’d do something silly and check to see if it made her smile, each time he had succeeded it made him want to do it more. Her smile was infectious, and he wanted to see it constantly. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it wasn’t just her smile; it was that he’d been the one to put it on her face. He wanted to be the reason she was smiling.
Once the children were sleeping, JT went to Nora and offered her his hand. She took it after a long pause, and he pulled her from her chair. He dropped her hand, but they walked together into the kitchen where he put on a pot of water to boil.
“I know that you’re determined to leave but I really don’t want you to go.” He sat at the table.
“James, you are a wonderful man, but you’re young and you’re a doctor. You do not want your reputation ruined by a woman like me. If we don’t go, you’ll be forced to marry me and your life would be over.”
JT jumped from his chair just as the strange angel man appeared by the window. “That’s it!”
Nora shook her head. “Shh … you’ll wake the children. What are you going on about?”
JT immediately calmed down, but he couldn’t remove the smile from his face. The angel was smiling broadly at him, too, like he’d finally realized something he should have seen all along. It was like the stranger could read his mind. JT sat back at the table. He took Nora’s hand in
his and pulled it across the table. “I know we’ve not known each other long and that the time we’ve spent together hasn’t been … well, traditional. But … Mrs. Nora Meeks, would you marry me?”
The words felt right leaving his mouth. There was an odd sense of calm that settled over him as he sat quietly, her hand in his, staring at the woman across the table from him—until she yanked her hand back.
“James Thomas, have you lost your mind!?” She stood roughly from her chair. It slid across the wooden floor with a screech. “You’ve completely lost your mind. There’s no way you’re thinking straight. And Nora, you’ve already married once on impulse. You will not do it again.” Nora started to pace, and her yelling at him slowly turned into quiet chastisement of herself. JT didn’t catch or understand all of it, but he had gotten the idea. The thing was that asking her to be his wife hadn’t felt wrong the way she was implying it should have.
JT stood and went to her. He stepped in front of her pacing path and made her look at him. “It’s the best solution for both of us, Nora.”
Her eyes were deep and watery. She was on the verge of tears, and it made his heart send sharp shooting pains through his chest, knowing he’d caused her to feel that way.
She shook her head. “No, JT, it isn’t. You’re a wonderful man, and the woman that does get to become your wife will be very happy. But it can’t be me. I’m the only one that stands to gain anything from a union. It would be a case of Nora “gets to” and James “has to”. The folks in town will forgive our few days together when they know of Tommy’s illness. I can’t allow you to make that arrangement permanent out of some misplaced sense of duty.”
JT understood what Nora was saying. He even understood why she was saying it. What she didn’t know was that he was starting to fall in love with her. He hadn’t realized what his feelings were until earlier that night. But all the pangs he’d been having, the pits in his belly and the way other parts of his body responded when she was near, they all added up to one thing. Dr. James Thomas was falling in love with the widow, Nora Meeks. He only had to prove it to her. He reached down for her hands. She didn’t stop him, so he took a step closer. Her back was against the wall. He moved even closer still, until they were so close their faces were almost touching.
