As if my night couldn’t get any more frustrating, I’m scrolling through my phone when an irritating voice meets my ears.
“Do you have my money yet?” Trey asks.
I roll my eyes and turn to face him. “When are you going to get it through your head? I don’t have any money, and Grayson sure as hell isn’t going to give it to you. I don’t know what else I can say to make you understand.”
“Well, you better start giving me something or spreading your legs, because otherwise, I have no reason not to tell everyone that your riches are actually rags in disguise.”
Getting fed up, I decide to call his bluff. “You know what? Fine. Go tell everyone. Shout it from the damn rooftops for all I care. See how that goes for you.” I stand up and get in his face. “No one is going to believe you. Especially not when I tell them you’re just a bitter little sophomore who couldn’t take no for an answer.”
In perfect timing, Grayson pulls up with Delaney in the back seat. I shove past Trey as I walk toward the car. As soon as I get in, Gray is glaring at Trey, looking like he’s ready to rip him limb to limb.
“What was that about?” he asks.
I shake my head and buckle my seatbelt. “Nothing I can’t handle. Let’s go.”
THE PARTY IS INTENSE, with girls in skimpy dresses passing around Jell-O shots and tubes of alcohol. I take one and roll my eyes as she walks away. Leave it to Jace to not only hire waitresses, but make them wear clothing that barely covers their vaginas.
“I just don’t understand why they couldn’t be dressed in something a little less revealing.”
Carter shushes me, pressing his finger to my lips. “If you love me at all, you won’t ruin this for me.”
We all laugh at his antics. It’s no secret that he’s already buzzed, having been drinking since before anyone got here. Jace always complains that he comes over under the guise of helping set up, but ends up staying by the keg the whole time.
“Laney,” he slurs. “My dear Saint Delaney, are you sure you don’t want a drink?”
She shakes her head. “I’m good, Carter. Thanks anyway.”
He sighs. “Well, then, how about a lap dance instead?”
Practically choking on air, her eyes widen. “Uh, I um…”
“How about you give me one instead, big boy?” Grayson jumps to her rescue like a knight in shining armor.
Carter frowns, mumbling something about not being gay under his breath before walking away to go find more booze. I watch him carefully before turning to Jace.
“Shouldn’t you stop him?”
He grins and shakes his head. “We’ve been giving him colored water for the past hour and making him think they’re shots. He’ll sober up soon.”
HALFWAY THROUGH THE PARTY, I’m finally starting to relax. After the argument with my dad, and then having to deal with Trey on top of it, I’m grateful for the chance to let loose. Tomorrow I’m sure I’ll have to figure out what I’m going to do about the pain in my ass that won’t seem to go away, but tonight is mine.
I’m standing across the room when Grayson waves me over.
“Lay on the bar, beautiful,” he says, complimenting me in front of everyone for the first time. “We’re doing body shots.”
It’s dangerous and risky. I know if we have any desire to keep things private between us, I should run in the other direction, but with the way he’s looking at me, I can’t resist. I let him lift me onto the hardwood and lay back. He raises my shirt and tucks it under my bra. The level of comfort between us doesn’t go unnoticed as Jace spikes his full cup of beer on the floor.
“I fucking knew it!”
Carter laughs as Delaney looks at Jace like he’s gone mad. “Knew what?”
“That they’ve been hooking up!” He turns to us. “I called that shit months ago, but you two denied it so hard!”
Grayson makes no move to deny it, but the conversation of us going public with whatever this is needs to be had in private—with none of our friends inserting their opinions.
“Because I let him lift up my shirt? It’s body shots, not a damn marriage proposal.”
He remains unconvinced, but my attention is pulled from him as Grayson licks a stripe across my neck and sprinkles salt on it. Placing the lime between my lips, he pours the shot into my belly button—immediately slurping it back up. He licks the salt from my neck before taking the lime from my mouth. It’s hot, erotic, and has my every nerve ending on fire.
With his help, I hop down and turn to him. “All right, hotshot, my turn.”
He smirks as he pulls his shirt over his head and climbs onto the bar. “Do your worst.”
Never having done one before, I repeat his actions, and as I take the lime from his mouth, he looks shocked that I was daring enough to do it at all. Once everyone goes back to doing their own thing, and the attention is no longer on us, he brings his lips to my ear.
“That was so fucking hot.”
The sexual chemistry between us has always been explosive, but with alcohol, it’s worse. Before we end up all over each other in front of everyone, I grab Delaney and go to join Becca and Paige on the dance floor. As my body moves to the beat of the song, it reminds me that I need to get back in the studio. Brady has yet to return any of my calls, but the recital is only a week away. I didn’t want to ambush him into talking to me, but I will if I need to.
Suddenly, the music cuts out, and the sound of someone slow clapping echoes through the room. I turn around to see Trey walking toward me. My eyes widen, realizing the threat I made earlier may have been a stupid one.
“What are you doing?”
He smirks. “I’m applauding you for your academy level performance that has had everyone here fooled for years.”
“Trey,” I plead, but he clearly doesn’t care.
“What? You don’t want them to know?”
Jace comes into the room, wondering what happened to the music, when his eyes narrow on Trey. “What the hell is going on in here? I don’t remember inviting any North Haven trash.”
“Well, then you’d probably be keen to know one of your own is exactly that.”
Looking ready to punch this kid in the face, Jace shoves his shoulder. “Listen shit-brick, you better explain what the fuck you’re talking about and fast, before I have my security escort you out—and they tend to get a little rough.”
Trey turns to me. “Savannah? Do you want to tell them, or should I?”
I look to Gray, but he’s too busy glaring daggers into the side of Trey’s head. Quickly going over it in my mind, I have two options. I can either give in to his insane demands and potentially ruin things between Grayson and I, or I deny it and hope everyone believes me over him.
Making a split-second decision, I stand my ground and swallow down my fear. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Suit yourself.” He rolls his eyes and focuses on Jace. “Your little princess isn’t as well off as she appears. In short, she’s dirt poor.”
Everyone breaks out into hysterical laughter, as if the idea is completely outlandish. It’s exactly what I wanted, and I relax a little, thinking this is going to play out in my favor.
“Okay, it was one thing for you to harass me after I already turned you down, but to come here with a lie like that? It’s pathetic, even for you.”
Glaring at me, he pulls something out of his pocket and my stomach drops. “See, I thought you might not believe me, so I brought proof.” My blood runs cold as he passes a handful of pictures to Jace. “See for yourself.”
Carter and Jace flip through a couple before looking at me in disbelief. Jace shakes his head and walks away, while Carter appears genuinely hurt.
“Seriously? I thought we were friends. How could you?”
Tears fill my eyes as I feel my entire world crashing down around me. “Carter!”
“Don’t. Just, don’t.”
AS I IGNORE DELANEY asking if I’m okay, I get out of the car and use t
he spare key to get inside Grayson’s house. Going straight into the basement, I start taking all my anger out on his punching bag. Right. Left. Right. Right. Left. By the time two strong arms wrap around my waist, my knuckles are already bleeding.
“It’s over,” I wail. “The only thing I had left, and he took it, for spite.”
“It’ll be okay.”
“It won’t. No one is ever going to look at me the same. If they don’t hate me, they’ll feel sorry for me. Kinsley is going to have a fucking field day and take over as captain. Jace and Carter will probably never talk to me again. And they probably shouldn’t.” I turn in his arms, looking up at him through the tears. “Make me forget. Please. Even just for a moment, I need to forget.”
Grayson searches my face for something unbeknownst to me before grabbing the back of my neck and pressing our lips together. I throw everything I’ve got into the kiss, trying to portray how I feel about him. It’s messy, with my tears making our mouths wet, but as he fucks me right there on the workout room floor, there’s nothing else I need. As long as I have him, I’ll be okay.
I LAY WITH MY head on his chest while his fingers run through my hair. I don’t know what this means for us. Everything has been so different between us lately, but if I’m the joke of the school, dating me would be social suicide. The thought of possibly losing him a second time makes me feel sick to my stomach. Which reminds me…
“Can I ask you something?” I question, and he hums, telling me he’s listening. “Why didn’t you tell me you were moving?”
“What?”
“When we were younger, I came back from my grandmother’s, and you were just gone. Why didn’t you say goodbye?”
He sits up abruptly and pushes me off him. “I know what you’re referring to, but why the fuck are you asking me this? You fucking know why.”
“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking,” I protest. Why is he getting so mad about this? It’s just a simple question. “Did you not want to? Did your dad not want you to tell me?”
In a split second, he snaps and gets up in my face. “Don’t you dare fucking talk about him, do you hear me? You don’t get to even think his name!”
As he backs up and tries to calm down, I can’t help but feel concerned. “What the hell happened to you between then and now? Who made you so cold? Because you’re sure as hell not the boy I remember.”
“Stop! Stop acting like you don’t know! I saw the fucking video! I heard the interview!”
My brows furrow. “What video? What fucking interview?” I try to take his hand in mine but he rips it away. “Grayson, talk to me!”
“Why? Why the fuck do you even care?”
“Because I’m in love with you!”
The declaration slips out before I even have a chance to stop it, and both our eyes widen at the revelation. However, the hope of him being happy about it dies as he shakes his head and looks away from me.
“You need to leave.” It’s so low that I almost wonder if I heard him right.
“W-what? Grayson, no. Don’t do this.”
His gaze meets mine, and the fire burning in his dark blue orbs is enough to scare even me. “I said leave! Go! Get the fuck out!”
Grabbing my clothes, I hurry upstairs and rush to put them on before racing out the door. The freezing December air does nothing to comfort me as tears pour down my face. I run across the street and knock on the door of the one person who can help me.
“Sav?” Delaney asks as she sees me. “Are you okay? What the hell happened?”
I shiver, half from the cold and half from sobs that rip through my body. “I n-need a ride.”
21
Grayson
I pace back and forth before grabbing one of the weights and throwing it against the mirror, watching as it shatters. Seven years of bad luck, right? Add it to the fucking list.
Why did she have to bring up my father? And to have the audacity to act like she doesn’t know the reason I moved away that summer. Like she wasn’t the catalyst of that whole shitshow.
Things between us were good until she had to go and make them personal. It was easy, separating my sex life with Savannah from the part of me that wanted to get revenge for what she did to my family. The little girl who ruined my life was a traitorous liar, while the one in my bed was a goddess. But when she dropped that emotional truth bomb, everything hit me like a truck. No matter how much I try to separate the two, they’re always going to be the same.
As unexpected as her confession was, what caught me more off guard was the rush of emotions that washed over me when she said it. Euphoric. Blissful. Happy. Ecstatic. Hearing her say those words is everything I’ve longed for since I was eight, and ten years too late. All I wanted was to be with her, until I learned the truth of what happened to my father. The love I once felt was replaced by a raging fire that could never be put out.
Sleeping with her is one thing, but falling in love with her is something I could never allow. To be with her would be the worst form of betrayal. How could I let myself be with the person who indirectly caused my dad’s death? It’s simple, I can’t.
If I’ve learned anything the past couple months, it’s that resisting her is not something that comes easy to me. I need to stay away from her. To gain some distance while I get my head on straight. It’ll be hard—I can already feel the gaping hole in my chest where she should be—but it’s what I need to do.
I take out my phone and dial the one number I haven’t called in weeks.
“Hey. Can we talk?”
22
Savannah
The music fills my ears, erasing all the thoughts from my head as I throw myself into each move. Tears flow from my eyes and blur my vision, but I keep going. Everything that happened tonight, the pain and the disappointment, none of it matters in this moment. Here, I can be free. Here, I’m okay.
Flashing blue and red lights reflect across the room as they fill the dark night outside, but I don’t stop dancing. This is the only thing holding me together. If I stop, I’ll break. I’ve put myself back together so many times in the last eight years. I’m not sure I have it in me to do it anymore.
Brady enters the studio, followed by two police officers. I must have forgotten to turn off the silent alarm. However, as his eyes see the tears in mine, he stops.
“It’s all right. I know her.” He tells them as I leap through the air. “You can go.”
Leaning against the doorway, he watches me carefully. The tears haven’t stopped, and therefore neither have I.
It’s late—nearly two in the morning—but it’s as if time doesn’t matter. Not in here. Not like this.
As the song fades to an end, Brady turns off the sound system, but I still continue to dance. He comes closer with careful steps, watching me like a caged animal that could attack at any moment. The second it all catches up to me, I come crashing down, and he instantly pulls me into his arms.
Sobs rip through me, making my chest hurt with every breath. The waterworks soaking his shirt don’t seem to faze him, however, as he holds me close and continues to whisper comforting words into my ear.
It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s going to be all right.
But it’s not, and it won’t, because how could things be okay when the one person I love most in this world doesn’t love me back? I have nothing.
DESPITE WANTING TO STAY cooped up in my bedroom, I show up to school on Monday morning. Delaney stays by my side, giving me strength to get through this. As we walk through the doors, everyone stops to stare. They whisper to their friends, talking about how I have a lot of nerve coming back here, or how they thought I dropped out—believe me, I wish I could.
Reaching my locker, I see Carter, Jace, Hayden, Wyatt, and Emma. With a nudge from Wyatt, they all turn to look at me, but none of them say a word. Laney keeps a comforting hand on my back as I grab my books. I’m about to leave when the urge to say something makes it so I can’t move.
“I just want you
guys to know, I’m really sorry. I may have lied about my home life, but everything else was real.”
Emma looks like she’s about to cry, but still, I’m met with silence. I sigh, heading toward first period when a sight worse than the most painful nightmares appears in front of me. Grayson and Kinsley.
They walk toward us, and no matter how much of me screams to look away, I can’t. As he stands there, with her pressed firmly against his side, gone is the hatred that burned in his eyes. There’s no trace of the angry glares that have sent chills down my spine, or the stares of pure want and need that awakened my soul. All that’s left is pure indifference, and somehow, that’s worse.
“Let’s go, Sav.” Delaney whispers, pulling me away, but I can’t. I won’t. Our love story doesn’t end like this.
I turn around and head back down the hallway, ignoring the calls of my name. When I reach Grayson, I go to grab his arm.
“Grayson, I need to talk to—”
“Ew!” Kinsley shrieks as she turns around. “Keep your dirty hands off my boyfriend, you lying bitch.”
I recoil, narrowing in on the one word that makes it hard to breath. “B-boyfriend?”
Grayson won’t look at me, while Kinsley smirks. She turns to him, taking his face in her hands, and pulling him down for a kiss. It’s forced, not at all the way he’s kissed me, but hurts all the same. Just like that, the last part of me, something I didn’t even know was still whole, shatters into a million tiny pieces.
“Run along now. No one wants you here,” she sneers, wrapping an arm around Grayson’s waist.
I can’t get my feet to move until Delaney pulls me away.
Boyfriend. He’s her boyfriend. I told him I’m in love with him, and his response was to become Kinsley’s boyfriend.
Did I imagine the last six weeks, when we spent the days laughing about the stupidest things, and the nights lost in each other under the sheets? Was I crazy to think we stood a fighting chance? All I know for sure is that I can’t stay here.
The Sinner: A High School Bully Romance (Haven Grace Prep Book 1) Page 18
