I kissed her until she was breathless, until the shadows evaporated from her coffee-colored eyes. “How does it feel to be free?” I asked after I’d broken from her lips.
“It was weird and sort of sad almost. I’m glad to be done, I’ve worked there for so long, and it holds… it’s like a time capsule of all that was shitty about my life, but I’ll miss it.”
“You will?” I asked with a curious grin.
“I’ll miss Jaime, he was like a father to me for a while, and if it wasn’t for him I would be…” She shifted on her stool and poked at the crust on her plate. “He was there for me when Chance passed away, and in a way, I owe him my life.”
I cupped her cheeks and tipped her head back. “He isn’t going anywhere, you can still visit him.”
There was a silver line building along the lower lid of Melissa’s eyes as she cleared her throat to speak. “When I walked out of there it was forever. He knows it, too. That life… it never happened, and The Western, it no longer exists.”
But it did. It was a part of who she was, but instead of telling her how to feel, that was the Liam in my blood talking, I kissed her forehead. My thumbs moved in gentle strokes across her cheekbones as I pulled away.
“The Western… Hmm, never heard of it,” I said with a teasing smile and she rolled her eyes.
She took another bite, ignoring my immature smirk. “Paige is excited to meet you on Monday.”
“Ugh.” She turned to look at me and she had more cream on her lips. “Don’t remind me. I’m so fucking nervous.”
I chuckled. “Don’t be. You’re freaking amazing, Mel. I tell you this all the time.” And I wondered if she ever believed me when I did.
Her full lips parted with a sexy smile. “I like it when you call me Mel.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded and my eyes lowered to her cream-covered lips. The urge to taste her distracted me from more appropriate thoughts. I lifted my thumb to her lips and eased it across the curve, gathering the whipped cream along the pad. The moisture of her breath heated my skin as her lips separated, and when her tongue licked the tip of my thumb, I groaned. Her smiled turned mischievous.
“You think you’re cute?” I asked as I gripped her chin gently, forcing her eyes to stay on mine.
“No, but you do,” she said and watched me from under her lashes.
Melissa and I were still figuring out our buttons. But I think I almost had her totally mapped out. Like now, the way her chest was rising and falling, a little faster with each second I denied her, each breath more shallow than the last. The way her cheeks flamed with need and how without even recognizing she had done it, she’d spread her legs open a few more inches for me. Melissa always tried to keep herself in perfect, controlled boxes, but I was a fast learner, and I knew when she was losing the battle.
I stepped between her legs and took the fork from her hand letting it fall to the counter with a loud clang.
She didn’t even flinch.
“Is that a bad thing?”
Her dark eyes were clouded and hooded with lust as I leaned down, closing off that pulsing emptiness between us.
“No, I guess not,” she said as her eyes devoured my mouth.
My laugh was soft as I brushed my lips against hers once and then again. I let my fingers trail down her jaw and neck. Tangling them into the long black waves of her hair as I whispered into her ear, “I missed you today.”
She sighed and let her head fall back as I left kisses along her pulse line.
She’d showered when she got here and was wearing a thin tank top she’d left over one night and my old U of U boxers. The worn material of the tank did nothing to hide the way her nipples hardened as goose bumps puckered the rest of her skin. My mouth explored her collarbone and my hands fell to her waist. She smelled like fall and men’s soap and her usual jasmine. Her skin was soft under my lips, and when I brought my mouth to hers again, she wrapped her hands into my hair and pulled me even closer.
My fingers wandered down past her hips and settled onto her thighs. The kiss was a slow burn to hunger, and when she whimpered into my mouth, her hands fell to my buckle. We parted with a needy gasp as she made quick work of my pants. It was too fast the way her small hand slipped past the waistline of my briefs. She gripped my hard length and my jaw pulsed. Tension gathered in my stomach as she worked her fingers from tip to stem. My hold on her hip became brutal and my head rolled forward as I fought for control.
“Shit,” I growled past clenched teeth, my hand finding hers and subduing her pace.
Melissa made me crazy. She made it hard to think as she doused me in flames, pushed me toward the threshold, pushed me to a place where there was nothing but her skin and a violent lust. Her nails marked my neck as I lifted her from the stool in a fast and hasty movement. The heavy chair almost fell, but I ignored it, fixing my eyes on hers as I tugged down her boxers.
Melissa and I had learned the art of each other over these past two weeks. There were times when all I wanted to do was take my time. Taste the landscape of her body, breathe in her air, and hold her above me as she brought me to a peaceful oblivion. But then there were nights like this, where time was an enemy, and I couldn’t be inside her fast enough, hard enough…
Our mouths met and the explosion of her sweet flavor across my taste buds took my breath away. My fingers slipped between her thighs, the slick wetness of her body always made me groan with approval.
I made her crazy, too.
“Kieran,” she breathed and stepped away.
Her smile told me not to worry, it promised me everything I could ever want or need. We were both breathing in and out, struggling, wanting. We’d done this before, just two days ago, right here. Her hands had been braced on that very stool, her body bent and greedy as I’d taken her. But tonight, she had other plans it seemed.
Melissa’s face was shaded with the color of rose, her bottom lip tucked tight between her teeth, her eyes sparkling with adrenaline.
“I need you to take your time,” was all she said before she left a lingering kiss on my cheek and headed for the bedroom.
The tips of my fingers were pruned and raw. Stained red with heat as I hand washed the last of the brand new pots and pans Kelly had purchased for the shelter’s kitchen. The grand opening was barely two weeks away. On December twelfth, Irene’s would open its first phase to the community. Kelly couldn’t have picked a better time, and though she’d said she had wished she could’ve been open before the storms hit, at least she was making a home for women and their children before Christmas. I knew better than anyone what it felt like to be homeless, living on the snowy streets at Christmas.
The random thought had my eyes squeezing shut. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about those kinds of things for the past couple of weeks. I’d spent most of my time in the present, with Kieran, at his place, lost in his kiss, his arms, and it was a blissful state of ignorance. It wasn’t until Thanksgiving night, when he’d mentioned I’d spoken the truth, that I remembered the monster living inside my chest.
My eyes popped opened when I heard the swing of the kitchen door, and caught Kelly stumbling across the tiled floors in yoga pants and a parka. My laugh was unrestrained, and it felt good. The negative thoughts were whisked away by her scowl as she fumbled with her keys and let the several plastic bags she was holding fall to the floor.
“Shit, Liam’s late, and I have about hundred pounds worth of groceries to grab from my car,” she said through a long sigh.
I dried my hands and threw the damp towel onto the wide counter. “I can help, just put me to work.”
She raised her eyebrows as she scanned the counter. “You washed everything?”
I nodded. “Yup.” I stepped from behind the sink. “I just have to put away these last few things once they’ve dried. But I did as you asked. Everything is clean and ready for opening day.”
“Wow.” Her eyes were saucers. “Mel, you’re a machine.” Before I had
a chance to disagree, she gave me a knowing smile and waved me off as she lifted a few of the bags onto the counter. “You washed and folded about fifty towels. You helped Elaine create the toiletry packs, and Paige told me you even asked her if she needed help. I feel like I should fire myself. This is only your first official day and you’re kicking ass!”
I could feel the heat in my chest. The flush on my cheeks. I’d never been good with compliments. I’d had a lifetime of regret and that never meshed well with praise. “Thanks. But I still have an hour left, so I can help you put away these groceries.”
She glanced at me with a conspiratorial little smirk. For a second, I could see the girl who’d once been a model. Kelly was beautiful, but every now and then, when her guard was down, her overwhelming confidence would knock you on your ass. I admired her and her strength.
“Let’s get these groceries put away, and get out of here a little early. Have a drink?”
“I don’t—”
“Dinner, ice cream, coffee, I don’t care… girls’ night,” she whined at me with puppy dog eyes.
“Oh, my God, do you pull this shit with Liam? Does he buy into it?”
Her smile stretched across her face. “Every time, or I promise sex… He’s easy.”
“Who’s easy?” Paige’s light voice sifted through the kitchen.
Kelly and I both followed the voice to the kitchen door.
“Hey, you! Are you finished?” Kelly asked, and I started to unpack the canned goods onto the counter.
“For today. That wall is huge. I just hope I can have the mural done before opening day,” Paige said as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. She was wearing well-worn overalls that were spotted with paint and holes.
“You will. I know you and Declan prefer more abstract, but the way you’ve captured the Salt Lake skyline, Paige, it’s seriously stunning.”
“It really is,” I agreed.
Paige met my eyes and gave me a shy smile. When she first got here I was knee deep in bleach and Borax without much time to chat. I’d been so nervous to meet her, meet another important puzzle piece to Kieran’s life. But I liked the quiet that followed her around. I was interested in meeting Kieran’s middle brother, Declan, too. I’d heard so much about him from Kieran he almost felt mythical. The artist whose hands were guided by the voices in his head. After meeting his second half today, I was even more intrigued. She was so pretty, with her ghostly gray-blue eyes and her light blonde hair that it almost hurt to look at her too long. All that innocence trapped inside her gaze. I felt as if all my sins were etched across my skin. Paige had looked right through me this morning, but her smile had offered me peace, and I’d realized I’d been worried for no reason.
“Thank you.” She tipped her head down as if in thought and then glanced at all the groceries on the floor. “Are there more?”
“Yeah, but I have a few of the guys bringing them in.”
As if on cue, a couple of the male staff members barreled into the kitchen with bags and boxes filled to the gills with supplies, food, and bottled water. It took only a few minutes for us to unburden their arms. Some of the guys gave Kelly a smile before they left the kitchen, most likely grateful for the small break from manual labor. I didn’t mind doing the dishes after I’d watched a few of those guys curse and holler as they’d tried to assemble about twenty, twin-size bunk beds.
Once the last of the bags were dropped onto the floor, we sifted through the chaos. Kelly told us where things should go, and Paige and I hurried through the task of getting the cold foods put into the industrial-sized freezer and fridge. We worked in a comfortable silence, and by the time we were finished my bones and muscles started to ache in a way that sent a rush of pride down my spine. I’d worked a hard day. A long day. But the outcome of my labor would help someone else, and that was a feeling I’d never gotten from working at The Western Lounge.
Kelly sighed and leaned against the counter after we finished. “I wonder where the hell Liam is.”
Paige laughed and it shaded her cheeks with pink. “Declan said he was going over there to help him with the twins. Didn’t he tell you?”
Kelly’s brow furrowed. “No! Asshole, thinks he can get out of grocery duties. He does this at home, too.”
I laughed. “It’s a man thing.”
Paige shrugged her shoulders. “Declan does most of the shopping.”
Kelly narrowed her eyes. “I knew I married the wrong brother.”
Our laughter filled the kitchen, but it was Paige who spoke first through our fit of giggles. She turned to look at me. “I think Kieran is coming over tonight. Declan’s been home all day with the kids, so I figured he’d need some guy time.”
“I guess that answers my question. I was going to ask you to come to dinner with me and Mel.”
“Kelly, it’s okay if you want to head over there. I don’t—”
“Hell, no. Girls’ night,” she interrupted me with more enthusiasm than I thought was necessary. “And Liam’s in the dog house. He knew he was supposed to get his ass over here. It’s why he supposedly closed shop early.”
“Come over when you’re done with dinner?” Paige asked. “The twins are in bed by eight.”
As much as I wanted to see Kieran, I’d been at his place all weekend. Most men needed space, didn’t they? And I hadn’t heard from him much today. Things between us had moved so quickly, maybe space was a good thing. Besides, I had shit to catch up on. Laundry to do. I didn’t need to sleep, eat, and breathe him every night. Well, at least that was what I decided to tell myself.
“Are you sure?” Kelly asked and Paige nodded. “Okay.”
“I think I’m going to pass though. I have a lot to do when I get home and seven a.m. comes early.”
“You don’t have to be here that early.” Kelly protested.
But I did. “It’s what you scheduled me.”
“Well, I’m un-scheduling you. Sleep in, you did two days’ worth of work, and I’m sure Kieran would love to see you.”
“It’ll be fun, no one ever comes over,” Paige said and her sad eyes almost convinced me.
“Really, it’s okay, after we eat I’ll probably go home and pass the fuck out.” I smiled after I spoke, hoping they both couldn’t detect the nerves that shadowed my syllables.
This was all too quaint. Girls’ night out, meeting the “sister.” Kieran and I had fallen into an addictive routine and if I wasn’t careful, if I didn’t mix it up, I’d start to crave it more and more and that was never good. I was already feeling needlessly empty because I wasn’t going to see him tonight. Life was busy, and I’d learned not to depend on others. I had to depend on me. It was the only way sobriety could work. And it worried me that I found myself craving him, his touch, his mouth on mine, his body filling all the cold places inside of me.
“Fine. Dinner though, O’Malley’s?” Kelly asked.
“Sounds good. I’m sweaty and look like shit, I’ll fit right in.”
Paige laughed. “I wish I could go, maybe next time.”
“I’m sure Declan won’t mind.” Kelly grabbed her purse from the counter.
“I know. But—”
“You miss your babies,” Kelly answered for her as she shouldered her bag.
Paige’s smile was soft. “I do.”
We said our goodbyes, and Paige left while I’d freshened up in the bathroom the best I could. My hands felt like sandpaper, and the little eye make-up I had on had smudged, thanks to the steam of the hot dish water I’d hovered over all afternoon. It hadn’t taken me more than five minutes, and I was ready to go. When I met Kelly in the lobby she was on the phone.
She nodded her head at me and mouthed the word Liam.
“Love you, too,” she said and then put her cell into her bag. Seemed like Liam was already out of the “dog house.”
Kelly’s long hair was swept into a large bun and a few of the pieces had fallen loose throughout the day. I wasn’t a girl who ever really gave a sh
it about appearance, but here I stood in jeans and an oversized sweater with a day’s worth of sweat layering my skin, and Kelly still looked beautiful in yoga pants.
“How do you still look so hot?” I asked with a smirk.
Kelly’s laugh was doubtful. “I pretend to do hard labor all day, but really I’m just good at direction.”
I wanted to roll my eyes. Most of the day Kelly was helping everyone with something. Assembling the beds, folding the laundry I’d done, paperwork, and grocery shopping, if anything, she’d been busier than me.
“You never give yourself enough credit.”
She groaned. “You sound like Liam.” She tugged on the sleeve of my sweater. “Let’s go before Kieran calls me begging to drag you to Declan’s.”
“Is he already over there?” I asked since I hadn’t heard from him for a couple of hours.
“Yes. Liam told him you weren’t coming over after dinner while I was on the phone with him, and Kieran must have complained because Liam told him he was pussy whipped.” Kelly arched her brow with a grin.
“Your husband is such an asshole.” I pressed my lips together to suppress my smile.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” she said with a swoony smile.
O’Malley’s was packed wall to wall tonight for Monday night football. It smelled like fried food, stale beer, and cheap cologne. Kelly and I were sitting in one of the dark booths in the back by the pool tables in hopes we would be spared the drunk, hungry gazes of the customers. Besides Kelly and me, I think I only spotted maybe two or three other women here, and they seemed cozy next to their men.
“This place isn’t normally such a meat market,” Kelly said before taking a bite of a French fry.
“Now I kind of wish Kieran and Liam were here. Those two dudes playing pool keep eyeing you.”
She snorted. “They’re eyeing you.” She waggled her black ceramic wedding band in my face. “I’m unavailable.”
“Makes you more interesting,” I said and then took a bite of my burger.
A quiet moan fell past my lips. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.
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