“Yeah, not much coming down but it’s still annoying. You should go out to dinner with me. We’ll go have a burger and a beer.”
I sighed. “The answer is still no. I don’t want to date anyone. Can you grab the crate and that last order that Kelly has? We have four more that just came in, so I hope you’re up for a late afternoon delivery.”
He nodded at Kelly as she handed him the vase. “Kelly, tell her. The best way to get over a guy is to date another guy. And I’m an awesome guy. Firefighter—”
“Volunteer,” I said.
“Same thing. Awesome delivery guy—”
“Who is going to be late in delivering my orders,” I said.
“Hero, hot guy and right here. Perfect combo. Date me and you’ll get over it.”
“What?” I grimaced. “What sort of person thinks like that?”
“A guy,” both Kelly and Patrick said at the same time. Kelly’s tone was disdainful whereas Patrick’s was unapologetic.
They both looked at each other.
The door chimed in the shop and I wiped my hands on my smock. “I’ll get it.”
I walked out to find the mailman headed toward the counter. He had a smile on his face that I mirrored when he handed me a letter.
“Have to have your signature, it’s certified,” he said. He handed me the electronic device in his hand and I scribbled my name.
“Thanks,” I said to his back as he exited the shop.
I flipped the letter over to see who it was from.
Owen Fleming.
Sighing, I set it on the counter and contemplated whether I should throw it in the trash. Burning it would set off the fire alarms and I didn’t want to have to explain that one to half the department or my dad.
I slid it off the counter and into the small trash bin I had by the counter. Tapping my fingers on the counter a few times I looked through the window at the light flurries that were coming down.
What would it hurt to read it? Honestly nothing. It wouldn’t change anything. My heart squeezed in my chest as if to tell me that I was fooling myself.
“What was that?” Kelly asked as she walked into the shop with Patrick in tow.
“A letter. Mailman.”
Kelly gave me a look with a tilt of her head. “And why are you looking like someone died?”
“Best way to mourn a loss, date the delivery guy,” Patrick said with a smile.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “Go make the deliveries. And for the last time, I’m not going to date you!”
“Touchy,” he said, as he held his hands up. “I was just putting that out there.”
He exited through the back and Kelly’s eyes followed him. “I’m wondering at this point whether going out on one date with him would get him to shut up.”
I shrugged. “Not going to happen. He’s been asking since I hired him.”
Kelly nodded toward the trash bin. “Going to read it?”
“I’m not sure that I should. He sent it certified. Probably just putting the nail in the coffin at this point and I don’t want to deal with it.”
She touched my shoulder and I looked at her. “It could also change your mind. Never know until you open it.”
The shop door chimed again, and Rachel walked in. I ran a hand down my face. I didn’t need this right now.
“Hey, sis. Kelly. Who died?” she asked when she got to the counter. She gave me a puzzled look of concern.
“No one. I just got a certified letter from Owen.”
She flinched. “Oh?”
“It’s in the trash,” Kelly responded.
“Oh,” Rachel repeated. “Uhm, I could take it and just drop it off at his house or something. He would find it unopened with the rest of his mail when he gets back.”
My eyebrows shot up. “What?”
She took a deep breath and looked nervous. “Well, it would give him the message that you didn’t want to read it.”
I held up a finger. “Wait, wait. Do you mean slip it through his mail slot? I had to sign for it.”
She looked over at the vases beside the counter and pursed her lips. “Well, no. I mean, I guess I could do that. He asked for his mail to be taken care of. He asked Dad. So, I volunteered to go over and make sure it wasn’t piling up in the doorway.”
“What?”
She looked at me a little sadly. “I volunteered because I knew you wouldn’t do it and Dad’s too busy. He was so nice to do what he did for me, and I just wanted to pay him back, I guess. Besides, I had a painter go over there and finish off the kitchen and living room. So, it wasn’t like I was hanging out. Just getting the mail piled up on his counter and leaving.”
“So, why do you look like you’ve done something awful?”
“I don’t.”
She did too. Her face was about an inch from looking like she had killed his cat. Guilty and sad.
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“There are more letters,” she mumbled.
“To who?” Kelly asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Maddie. I guess he thought Dad would be checking the mail and might give them to her. But I am. And with everything going on, I just thought that maybe it would be best to leave them there.”
I bit my lip for a moment trying to come up with a response that wouldn’t sound angry. Because I was very angry. Meddling Rachel. I loved her, but sometimes she just went too far.
“Rachel—”
“Look, you said that you didn’t want to see him again. And you said that he was an asshole, so I just left them there because I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Stop trying to run my life. Why does everyone think I can’t make my own damn decisions? I am not some pet project that you get to plan to death. You and dad didn’t tell me about the academy and now you withheld yet another thing to do with Owen. Just stop. I don’t need your help.”
Her face shut down and she started digging in her pocket.
“Fine. Deal with it yourself then,” she said as she dropped a key on the counter. “There are five letters on his dining room table. You can check the damn mail for him from now on.”
She huffed and walked through the door into the cold.
Kelly held the letter that was in the trash in front of me. “Funny how mad you are about it when you’re throwing his letters away anyway.”
I snatched it from her and ripped it open just to be defiant.
“I didn’t know he had been trying to reach me.”
“Would it have mattered?”
I growled and unfolded the letter to read it.
Dear Maddie,
I won’t send any more letters, I promise. I know I said that in the last letter I sent, but I was hoping to hear from you. I guess I just needed to say one more thing and just tell you one last time that I’m sorry.
The time off sucks on the weekends, because I think about you. During the week, I’m too tired to do anything. I was thinking today about that first letter I sent you. It was a little angry and I shouldn’t have sent it. You have every right to move on with your life. I just didn’t expect for it to be so soon. That’s my fault not yours.
I’ll never regret meeting you or sharing your life for a small amount of time. It’s been extremely memorable for me, and I’ll never forget it. But we have to move on, and I wish you a happy life.
I’m sure we’ll run into each other, and that’s what I needed to tell you. That I will always care for you, but I respect your choice. So I won’t make it weird or anything, and I’ll keep my distance. You’re one of a kind and I hope the person you’re with knows it. If not, just throw Rachel at him. See you around and good luck.
Your friend, Owen
My gut clenched as I handed the letter over to Kelly. She was hovering over the counter trying not to look too curious but doing a poor job at it.
She skimmed over it then looked at me. “What the hell?”
I shook my head. My stomach rolled and flipped. I fe
lt like I was going to throw up.
So many questions went through my mind. Your friend? Was that what I had wanted? What the hell did those other letters have in them? The person that I was with?
If I moved past this point, could I even handle seeing him with someone else if we did bump into each other? He would move on. He would start dating other women. And I would what? Keep on running the shop and not dating anyone for reasons that were so old that they barely mattered anymore.
Your friend. Jesus.
I bent over and grabbed my stomach. “I need some air.”
Kelly grabbed my shoulders as I eased down to the floor. Pulling the trash bin over she rubbed my back.
“Just breathe. I think you need to go read—”
The door chime interrupted as someone came in.
“Yeah what?!” she barked at the person.
“Where’s Maddie?!” a deep voice barked back.
“She’s here. What the fuck do you need? It’s not a good time.”
A pair of shoes came around the counter in front of me. Blue dress pants. I looked further up and saw one of the guys on the department staring down at me. I recognized him from a few functions and wondered why he was in uniform in my shop.
“Yeah?” I breathed.
He dropped down to his knees at eye level at took a good look at me. “You okay? Did someone call already?”
“What?” I asked as he reached over and felt my forehead. He lifted an eyelid and I swung a hand at him. “What are you doing?”
“Are you okay? Do you need me to get medical treatment?”
“No, asswipe,” Kelly responded. “She just read something that made her sick to her stomach.”
“Oh. Shit, sorry. Um, well, while you’re sitting down I guess I need to tell you something. Your dad sent me over.”
I grabbed his shirt and startled the man. “What the hell is wrong with my dad? Is he okay?”
The door chimed again, and I heard someone running into the shop.
“Maddie!” Rachael yelled.
“What?! What’s going on?”
She went down on her knees in front of me and shoved the fireman back with an elbow. He lost his balance and tipped over onto his butt.
She grabbed both my shoulders. Pure shock and fear were reflected in her eyes.
“Our house is on fire!”
Chapter Eighteen
~Owen~
It took me four hours to get back to Nolan Creek from Denver. I didn’t exactly break the sound barrier getting home but I did break a few speed limits. It was both the quickest and longest drive of my life.
The entire time I kept thinking of Maddie. Not that she was ever far from my mind. My protective instincts were plaguing me the entire journey and I felt exhausted by the time I pulled into my driveway.
When Bill called about the fire, the one thought that came to me was that if Maddie was injured I would lose my fucking mind. It was one thing to walk away from someone and let them live their life with someone else. It was a whole other situation if they got hurt or died and the last thing you verbally said to them wasn’t what you wanted to say.
All those letters I sent would never be enough. I still wanted to say so much to her, and it killed me thinking that she wasn’t going to be a part of my life.
It reminded me a lot of my sister, Ava. The small argument we had the day she disappeared. The last things I said to her weren’t the things I meant. I didn’t want to make the same mistake with Maddie, and I also didn’t want to be that asshole ex-boyfriend that just wouldn’t go away.
I didn’t want to be her fucking friend, either. Not at all. I still wanted the whole package. But I couldn’t force her into something that she didn’t want and that was the shit deal I was going to accept.
It'd taken me some time, and a couple of letters to her with no response. The aching that the woman had left in my chest was visceral. Since the time she had left, up until this moment she was an ever present weight that I carried with me. Her smile, her laughter always drifting through my head and heart with such sharp clarity that I often wondered if I would ever be free of the memory of her.
Walking away had gone against every instinct I had as a man and her lover. Bill had a point weeks ago when he had told me it wasn’t like her to go bed hopping. She wouldn’t do that. But with enough time, she would become someone else’s world and that was acutely painful to imagine.
When I found out there had been a fire, it hit me in the gut with such force I had nearly doubled over with pain. I wanted to protect her, possess her and keep her at my side.
Luckily, she’d been at the shop when the fire broke out. I shouldn’t have driven home. I should have given myself more time. But I needed to see for myself that she was okay. The adrenaline that hit my system when Bill called had me shaking for an hour as I drove.
It was Friday, so I had the next two days off. My plan was simple. Pop in, check, spend the night and head out in the afternoon. No harm done. I was still keeping my end of the bargain by giving her distance like I said I would.
Walking up to the house, I noticed that the light on my front porch still wasn’t turning on with motion detection. Something that I would fix when I got back home. Two weeks, the final tests, and I could relax for a little while.
Maybe it was avoidance, but I was honestly thinking about buying a ticket to Boston for Christmas and surprising my parents. Spending Christmas alone just didn’t sound as appealing anymore. Neither did spending it in Nolan Creek with the woman I wanted so near and yet untouchable. I wanted a tree, some lights, laughter and her. If I went to Boston, I would at least get some of that, although the ache of missing her would still be present.
I unlocked the door and walked into the dark house. Flipping on some lights, I saw a few boxes of miscellaneous things piled against my living room wall. It looked freshly painted in a strange brownish color. Earthy brown but there was some other color there.
Rachel had obviously been over, which surprised me. Even though I had arranged a loan for her, I figured the hellcat would probably go after my walls with a pink paintbrush in defense of her sister.
I dropped my bag on the ground placing, my car keys on the shelf in the hallway. It was bitterly cold outside but the temperature in my house seemed to be significantly warmer.
Rachel might have turned it up for the painters.
All I wanted was sleep right now. I had been up since five in the morning. The adrenaline from my shock had finally faded, and I felt worn out.
When I walked up the stairs and opened my bedroom door, I inhaled deeply. Cookies.
Fuck.
The scent nearly had me dropping to my knees. My mind was bombarded with images of her the last time we were here. The smell of her soft skin, the feel of her under me, her soft little moans. Those eyes regarding me with passion, and maybe something like love. But I wasn’t her dream guy, and I knew it now.
Stopping in my tracks, I noticed the bed sheets were messy and something moved under the covers. Then I noticed sheets of paper on the floor. I bent down to pick one up and saw my own handwriting. My letters to Maddie.
Frowning, I walked quietly over to the edge of the bed and looked. She was there. On her side, hair tangled and curled in a ball under my blankets. I hadn’t had a hard on in more than two months and the sight of this woman sleeping in my bed had me turning hard as a rock.
What the fuck? I reached up and ran both hands down my face. My tightly controlled reins on what I felt for her were doing a rapid nose dive and threatened to dissolve.
When Bill had called and asked for the use of the house, I thought he might need to sleep over here. Not in my room, but one of the other ones. I'd assumed that he was going to put his girls at his house. Especially this sleeping beauty.
I backed away from the bed quietly, keeping my eyes on the curve of her gorgeous shoulder the entire time. I wanted to crawl in and hold her until she either punched me or kissed me, but I couldn’t.
I needed to leave her alone.
I turned and walked out, closing the door behind me.
Walking into the room across the hall, I flipped on the lights and heard a scream.
“What the fuck?!” I barked.
A small, short-haired blonde popped out of bed wielding a tennis racket. She was a little taller than Maddie but had some definite muscles in her arms and had a compact, athletic build.
She swung the racket a few times trying to look intimidating in her blue pajama pants and tank top.
“Stay the fuck away from me or I will knock you out with this thing!”
I shrugged. “Uhm, okay. But can I ask why you’re in my fucking house right now?”
The door across the hallway flew open, and a soft body bumped into me.
“Owen!” Maddie said as she grabbed my arm. “This is Kelly. She’s a friend. She was staying at our house.”
“What the hell?” I heard from the hallway behind me.
Turning around, I found Rachel in a gown with a baseball bat in her hands, ready to clobber someone.
I glanced down at Maddie. She was wearing some lacey top that clung to the curves of her perfect tits. Her boy short bottoms had the same matching trim.
Fuck. Kill me now. This night, and being here in the same house with her, had just gone from bad to worse. My eyes slid up to the hand she still had on my arm then to her face. The skin under her eyes looked puffy and her cheeks looked red like she had been crying.
My hand twitched as I fought the need to touch her cheek.
I cleared my throat. “What the hell is going on here?”
“I’m so sorry. We came over here while we figured out someplace else to stay.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said and turned back to Kelly. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here. I was just looking for a bed to sleep in since mine was occupied.”
Kelly lowered her racket and shrugged. “No worries. I just didn’t know if you were an intruder, and I sleep light.”
Smoldering Heart_Fleming Brothers [Book 1] Page 18
