by A. B. Bloom
All too soon, he pulled away, a frown driving a deep line between his eyes. "I can't." He spoke more to himself than to me.
Anger spurned through me, my hands flinging out against his chest. "Don't then. Stay away from me, Nick. Be my bodyguard, but do it from over there." I gestured to a space far away from me. Then I marched for the door and yanked on the handle. "Open the door, please."
"It's open." He turned away. I pulled on the handle and sure enough, the door swung back with the brute strength I attacked it with.
I marched down the hallway and into the fresh air outside. Lauren was waiting, her expression guarded.
"I'm sorry," I said. The tears loomed again. "I'm not feeling like myself."
Her gaze glanced over me. "What you going to do? Do you want to go home and get out of those clothes?" I looked around the quad at the intrigued glances I was getting.
"No. I'm not leaving." My voice was firm. "I'm not giving into her anymore, Lauren. I've had enough."
Lauren picked up my hand in hers. "I know, babe. But it's not worth making yourself sick over."
"I'm not going to." I made direct eye contact with her. "I don't want to be sick anymore. I want to fight it." In my head, I added that I wanted to find my energy. I wanted to deal with this hand that destiny was giving me. I wanted to find out about the Stars, about my father. I wanted to know why he made me and then left me. I knew that if Nick would not help me then I would find another way. Any way. He was protecting me from something that even he didn't understand.
"Okay." She squeezed my fingers. "How you going to do that?" She offered a wry laugh.
"I don't know. But I'm gonna come up with a plan."
She laughed, her eyes glinting. "What?" I asked.
"You're scary when you're determined."
I harnessed her words. I would be scary if that's what it took.
"Come on, let's stink everyone out with lasagne." I turned for the classrooms.
“Sounds grand. Let's do it."
I didn't see Nick again that day.
After school, I locked myself in the confines of my room, my laptop balanced on my bed. I'd wondered if he'd be there, but he wasn't. When I'd arrived home, I'd thrown my bag against the wall, and watched with satisfaction as it slid down the violet paint. All the contents spilled on the floor. Amongst the books and loose pens had been another fresh sprig of heather.
I knew he wasn't far away.
My hair hung in wet strands down along my shoulders. My nose filled with the fresh zing of apples from my shampoo. It hadn't washed away the smell of garlic and oregano that had wafted after me the entire day. My fingers drummed on the keyboard. What to type?
With my first go, I went in bold with Fallen Stars. This told me they weren't stars at all. Instead they are just random bits of debris falling through space. Nick was annoying and cryptic but I wouldn't so far to say he was falling celestial junk. No, he had real power. He'd sealed that bathroom door shut tight with just a pulse of light out of his hand. He'd fixed my broken wrist, he'd stopped the blood flowing from my nose.
My head spiralled on a tangent. Maybe he wasn't that annoying?
Actually, since he'd been around, he'd only tried to help me.
Okay he pulled away from me all the time, but I guess I had to see it from his perspective. I was a job—someone he had agreed to protect. Just because I found him attractive didn't mean he had to feel the same way about me. My face burnt as I registered these facts.
My next search was about Stars themselves. The word ‘Plasma’ kept coming up, and I guess after seeing that pulse of light from his hand, that's the word I would have used to describe it.
I looked at my own hand. I needed to find my own plasma.
That was assuming I had any. Did I? It seemed implausible. But then, if someone had asked me three days before if I believed in falling Stars, I would have said it was the stuff of myths and fairy tales.
I slammed the laptop shut and stared at my hands. It didn't matter which way I turned them, no light emitted from them at all. I tried clenching and unclenching my fingers, but I ended up giving myself cramp and probably a nasty strain of RSI.
Grabbing my phone, I sent a quick text and then got up to organise myself, picking up all the stuff I'd thrown against the wall. Sniffing the sprig of heather, I placed it with the sprig I'd found on my pillow that morning. It was still fresh even though it had been sitting without water for hours. I switched my purse into a small bag that wasn’t a “hey, look at me, I’m a schoolgirl rucksack,” and paced down the stairs.
"I'm going out." I shouted into the house, my hand on the front door.
"Whoa, where are you going?" Aaron came in the hallway.
"Going to meet Lauren." I opened the door.
"Be back by dark." Aaron's face didn't look like he would negotiate.
I groaned. "But that will be in about five minutes," I moaned. I opened the door and peered up into the sky. An unsettled seasick sensation washed over me, turning my insides out. Now I knew what was really happening in the sky it was hard to be flippant about it. I wished I could help, but I didn't know how.
"That's the deal, take it or leave it." Aaron put on his police officer voice and I rolled my eyes.
'Where's mum, anyway?" I asked. I hadn't seen her all day. Now I thought about it she’d been strangely absent. Maybe she’d got wind of the fact I knew she’d got down and dirty with a star of all things? Ugh. It was a visual image I didn’t want in my head. The chain living in my stomach gave a little jingle, which reminded me of Nick, and I wondered if mum had even had a choice in the matter. Or whether is was impossible to resist the call of a star when they spoke. Leave the thought alone. Nick isn’t interested in you. I shook my head to stop my irrelevant thoughts and waited for Aaron’s response.
"Shopping." He shrugged.
"Okay." No other information was forthcoming. Maybe they'd had a row? "I'll be back soon, I promise."
For a moment, I thought he wouldn't let me pass, but I frowned until he relinquished his hold on the door. "Dark, remember."
"Yes, yes. I'll be back soon."
Walking down the path, I heard the front door slam. I then jumped out of my skin when Nick appeared on the brick garden wall.
"Where do you think you are going?" His body was stiff, his eyes on the ground.
His dress code was still strictly black but my eyes were drawn to the hoodie that had replaced his earlier jacket. I wasn't going to lie, the causal looked good on him. "Going to see Lauren," I told him.
"You aren't supposed to go anywhere without me."
I spun and faced him. "Well I haven't seen you all day."
He tilted his head to the side and I caught a fleeting glimpse under the cap. "Just because you can't see me doesn't mean I'm not there."
"Lovely." I walked down the road. He followed. "You can't come with me. What am I supposed to do? Just rock up with the new boy? The one she was gushing over this morning?"
"Gushing? Was she? I didn't hear that." He fell into step at my side.
"Okay, you can't listen to my conversations."
He didn't answer and we walked in silence. Our feet were in perfect time, but I was sure he was matching his pace to mine as his legs were much longer.
"You can't come." I reiterated
"Don't worry, I won't get in the way."
We were only two streets from Lauren's when I said, "Nick, you can't . . ." I turned to face him only to find him vanished.
That trick had the prospect of becoming exceptionally annoying.
"Hey." Lauren flung her door open, her makeup on. It made me remember that I had put none on myself and was still freshly scrubbed from the shower. Damn. "Where we going?"
"I don't know, anywhere. McDonalds. The library. I don't care." I checked my back pocket for my bankcard. At least I hadn't forgotten that.
"Library?" Lauren looked shocked. "Are you mad? Let's go to that new coffee bar, it's open late."
&nb
sp; "Coffee?" I pulled a face. I'd never be able to sleep after a coffee. Caffeine wasn’t great for me. It made the migraines painfully persistent.
"Yeah, come on." She tugged me by the arm toward the high street and I followed. I was willing to go anywhere that didn't involve worrying about the death of the Stars, or the humans. Or attempting to create a plasma lightning bolt out of my hand like a jacked up Ninja.
A waitress greeted us as we pushed through the double doors and guided us to a table. "This is a bit posh for a coffee shop," I leant in and whispered. It was all glossy wood and brightly coloured upholstered armchairs.
"I know." Lauren picked up the coffee menu and skimmed her eyes over it. “Just blend in.” Her eyes met mine and she grinned. “We should have gone to McDonalds.”
“Told you,” I muttered. She studied the menu again like she was expecting to sit a two hour exam on it. "You aren't reading that are you?"
"No. Do you reckon they will have cokes?"
I sniggered and leant back in my winged armchair. "I hope so."
"Me too. So have you been working out ways to beat Eleanor in the ‘I'm such a bitch’ stakes?"
"What?" I took a moment to remember my angry promise after lunch that I would not let her beat me any more. If I was being honest, I think my desire to access my plasma had more to do with wanting to smack the hell out of Eleanor than anything else. I flushed. "No, not really." I looked around for the waitress so we could order drinks. "Maybe I should just talk to her. Tell her than enough is enough and she's got to pack it in?"
Lauren gave a slow shake of her head. "Nope. I can guarantee that would make it worse. It's strange that it's always you, though. I mean, I'm not being funny, Bron, but most people feel sorry for you because of you being so uh, sick, but it's like it makes her worse."
Sighing, I leaned back in my chair. "I know. I mean, not that I want anyone to feel sorry for me, because that would be embarrassing, but it is weird. Her life is perfect. She’s got a dad who earns a fortune and drives around in swanky cars, she never has to worry about anything." It riled me that Eleanor had so much when my family could only holiday every other year. Aaron’s wages, while not bad, didn’t stretch that far. Especially as mum had always stayed home to look after me. The plan was that I'd turn sixteen and she'd go back to work. Then I turned sixteen and physically fell apart – so that never happened. The waitress wove her way around the tables to our spot. We ordered two cokes, which made her grimace in disgust. As she was walking away, Lauren gave a large gasp and covered her mouth with her hands.
"What are you doing?" There was a sinking sensation in my stomach, which told me I already knew.
"It's him. The new boy."
"Great," I took a sip of the complimentary water I wasn’t sure our Coke order warranted.
To my horror, Lauren waved at him. "What are you doing?"
"Inviting him over; He may not know anyone in town yet."
"Oh, I'm sure he does." I twisted a little in my seat to see him. I didn't need to know he was a star. He had a quality about him that made him exceptional. The whole coffee bar watched he as he weaved towards our table. Lauren was panting like a Golden Retriever.
"Hey girls," he said. He leant on Lauren's chair, his body relaxed. I kept my eyes studiously on the table trying very hard not to think anything at all. A quick glance up caught his lips quirking into a smile, so I was sure I was failing.
"You can join us if you like," Lauren breathed her words, doing her best 1940’s film star impersonation. She pointed to the spare chair. I willed him to move on and watch from a distance if he had to, but he smiled from under the cap and sat down.
"I've got to get home soon, I have a curfew." I stated. Lauren kicked me hard on the shin. "Ow, what was that for?" The glare I got in response was ferocious. Nick bit down on his bottom lip.
We were interrupted by the waitress bringing us our tall glasses of Cokes. Her eyes bulged when she saw Nick and I groaned in response. “What can I get you?” she gushed. Nick flickered a smile at me, never making eye contact with the waitress.
“The water is fine. Thank you.” he pulled the bottle towards himself and poured a glass. He didn’t sip it. We waited patiently while the waitress made a show of wiping the clean table down. Eventually when there were no more reasons to linger she left, a long glance sent in Nick’s direction as she sashayed off. I tutted loudly and Nick’s lips curved again.
"I'm Lauren." She leant over as far as she could towards him and held out her hand. He took it and gave it a shake.
"Nick."
"Mm. Nick." She sounded like she wanted to get down on all fours and rub against his calves like a cat. He grinned wickedly, white teeth flashing against tanned skin, and my pulse spiked in response. I couldn't see under the damn cap but I was sure the violets were watching me. Lauren coughed. "So, Nick, you've moved from London. It must have been so cool to live in a big city."
Nick nodded. "Yes, I suppose it was interesting. Although the moor is beautiful here. I think it could be homely."
I sniggered and shook my head. You can't talk like that, I thought loudly. His lips quirked again.
"And your family. When will they be here?" she prompted.
He sighed and leant back in his chair. "Tomorrow, I think." He didn't seem that excited at the prospect. I would have thought he'd be grateful to relinquish the sole duty of having to look after me.
"You're lucky you're allowed to stay by yourself. How old are you?" Lauren took a sip of her drink so didn't see the flash of his smile.
"Eighteen."
Lauren's eyes widened. "Have you been held back? Attended juvenile detention?"
"Lauren!" I exclaimed.
"No." He laughed and it rang beautifully in my ears. "We've moved around a lot and I've got a year behind."
"Oh." She didn't sound that genuine though. "Eighteen isn't too old."
Nick was smirking again so I assumed in her head what she was thinking was that eighteen wasn't too old for her. I gave her a warning glare.
"Sorry to break this up, but I've got to get home before dark." I told them.
Lauren groaned. "Aaron is such a bore."
"He's a police Inspector. What do you expect?"
Nick's lips pressed into that straight line which I ignored. "Anyway, Nick." I turned to him and raised an eyebrow that Lauren couldn't see. "It was lovely to meet you."
"I'll see you tomorrow at school," he said. He pushed out of his chair and waited for us to leave before sitting back down again.
Lauren screamed the whole way down the road. "Didn't he talk politely?" she gushed. "No boys talk like that any more. He must have gone to a private school, I'm sure of it."
"Maybe," I said.
"I can't believe you told him you had a curfew."
"Why not? I won't pretend to be something I'm not." Her enthusiasm for him was grating a little. Lauren cast a sidelong glance in my direction.
"Okay.” She shrugged at my brusque response. “We never got to sort out a plan for defeating the evil witch." She flicked her hair over her shoulders.
Laughing I said, "It's okay. I don't think it's a problem that will disappear soon."
I walked the couple of streets home alone. Lauren and I went our separate ways halfway, but I knew he would be close behind me. Sure enough, there he was on my windowsill when I walked through my bedroom door.
"Do you fly up here?" I asked.
"Would it impress you if I could?" He slipped into the room and the four walls became instantly smaller. The temperature became stifling hot despite the darkness outside the window.
"Not really," I lied. My body zinged with expectation as he moved into the room.
"Well, then, no."
I turned to him. I didn't understand him. Sometimes he flirted. Sometimes he pushed me away. It was enough to make a girl feel seasick on a continual basis. "You don't want to impress me, do you, Nick?"
He lifted his cap up and rubbed his head. He was lookin
g good in the black hoodie and jeans. Too good.
He didn't answer.
"See." I answered for him. I turned and grabbed my bag of stuff for the bathroom.
When I came back from brushing my teeth and washing my already clean face, he sat cross-legged on the bed. "Sit." He patted the bed near the pillows and my mouth dried like the Sahara desert. "If I'm giving you the wrong impression, or confusing you, perhaps, then I am sorry,” he hesitated. “It's not intentional. It's just I feel like I've known you a long time, even though we've just met. I think," he hesitated, "I think perhaps I thought about you more than I should." He was holding back, I could sense it. The chain in my stomach gave an angry tug at his words.
I ran my tongue over my teeth wondering if I was supposed to respond.
"But that will not do any good. I can't afford to be distracted by you, there is too much at stake."
My ears rang. "I apologise for being a distraction." My breath came in short bursts like a bull on a rampage after being waved at by a red flag.
"That's not what I'm saying." He held his hand out.
"That's what it sounds like."
"Tara." He stopped his own words.
"Who the hell is Tara?" I demanded.
He shifted his cap back and looked at me. His eyes glowed such a vibrant violet, I never would have believed they were real. Then I remembered he was a star and there was nothing real about him. Not in the human sense anyway. "You are Tara, Bron. You've always been Tara."
"Tara? That’s a terrible name, did you come up with it?"
He laughed and adjusted the cap back down. "No, Celeste did, you will meet her tomorrow, probably." His fingers plucked at the duvet. "And it's not a terrible name, for the record, it means star."
"Star." My pulse thudded.
"Yes." Silence stretched around us. "That's what you've always been to me."
All my anger and resentment towards him seemed to evaporate. "What do you know about me, Nick?"
He laughed and fiddled with his cap again. "Not enough, apparently."
"Will you tell me what you do know? It might help."
He sighed. "What will help is having the others here to train you. I can't do it."
