by Minton, Toby
Again he just nodded to himself like he hadn't heard her at all. "And the eye?” he asked, pointing to where she took the sucker punch. "How did that happen?"
"I don't know, ass wagon," she all but shouted. "I wasn't looking."
"Why not?"
"I was looking behind me at the time!" She did shout this time. She hoped somebody would hear and come to see how he was starting all this. She'd feel better having a witness when she had to explain why she clocked him one.
"While the man you were fighting was in front of you?" he asked, seemingly confused, but the taunt was clear. She had a feeling he'd heard all these details from Gideon and was just messing with her.
"Men, wagon. There were two of them."
His confusion looked genuine this time. "And you took your eyes off them? Interesting."
"That's when one did THIS!" She swung in mid-sentence, throwing her best hook at his head. Again, it never landed. He stepped outside her swing this time and pushed her punch past him, throwing her off balance again. But instead of righting her like last time, he cuffed her on the back of the head.
"It’s a shame you weren't looking. You could have done that to him."
That was it. No more playing around. He wanted the thunder? He was going to get it. Nikki let loose a wordless roar and flew at him.
She punched with all the strength she had, kicked when she saw a chance, even tried smacking him with the tablet from her open locker, but nothing worked. He fought open handed, his arms up in front of him, batting aside every punch she threw, sidestepping every kick, and stunning her wrists with his freaky hard forearms to make her drop her makeshift weapon. She managed to land a gut punch once that made him grunt, but she took a swat to the back of the head again in the process and ended up on her knees.
"Enough," Elias said, but she wasn't through yet, not even close. She had yet to truly cut loose.
Nikki swiped at his knee, forcing Elias back, then she came up swinging.
"Nikki, enough," Elias said again as he batted aside her swings.
She took that as a sign that she was wearing him down, until she took another smack to the same spot on the back of her head and ended up face-first against the wall. She kicked back behind her and caught him somewhere, enough to cause a louder grunt. Then she spun with a shout, swinging her elbow first, followed by a fast hook.
Instead of connecting, she took flight. The room spun then shook as her back slammed down onto her bed, pushing the wind out of her. She sucked in a breath and tried to jump up, but Elias slapped his hand onto her chest and held her down.
"Peace, Nikki!" he barked in full commander voice.
She stopped struggling but only so she could consider her attack options and pick the best one—and catch her breath.
"You can't keep fighting like this," he said.
"Watch me. I can keep this up all day."
He took his hand off her chest and backed toward the door, both hands raised in the universal sign for truce. Nikki knew that sign. She'd ignored it plenty of times when charged up.
"I mean you can't keep fighting in that style," he said, his face open and genuine, all signs of his taunting gone. "You still fight like you're the stronger one. You fight like nothing can hurt you." He took a breath and she saw the glint of pity deep in his eyes. "That won't work for you anymore. From now on you won't be the stronger fighter every time you're forced into a conflict, maybe not ever again."
She swung around and hopped off the bed, but she didn't go after him again. Instead, she rubbed at the back of her head where he'd smacked her repeatedly. "Is that why you came in here? To remind me that I suck now?" She felt tears welling and felt a stab of hatred at her body for betraying her.
"No, Nikki. I came to convince you to let us help."
"Come again?"
"You're not going to stop fighting. That's clear enough," he said, lowering his hands. "You've been doing it for too long. You don't have the will, or the desire, to stop. Tell me I'm wrong."
"You're wrong," she said immediately. He wasn't, but neither was she about to pander to a man who’d just made a fool out of her.
He almost smiled. "We can teach you."
"What, how to beat kids?"
"How to keep from being beaten. How to keep from losing."
That struck a chord. If there was one thing Nikki hated, it was losing—at anything. Michael used to tell her she was too competitive for her own good, or anyone else’s. He had been just as competitive in his own way, but he’d always tamped it down somehow. She could always see it in his eyes when he did so, when he accepted inevitable defeat and pushed the will to win aside. She'd hated that about him. Nothing made her angrier than when her opponent just gave up, no matter how sure they were of losing.
"You know, your brother and I learned how to fight for a similar reason," Elias said, bringing her focus back to him. "We talked about it once," he answered the question before she could get it out, “after Savior took you."
She didn't want her thoughts going down that road. She'd rather hang on to her anger than let the sorrow take over. "You learned how to fight to protect yourself from me too?"
He did smile this time, a little. "No. I learned to fight so I could take control of my life. I was born in a time of constant war. At the time, even the safest cities, those farthest from the coasts, were full of people ready to prey on their neighbors. It was easy to become a victim, or a monster. I learned to fight to get out of that world, to protect myself from others. But more important, I learned to fight to maintain control of an engagement, not just to protect myself, but to protect others from me. Just like Michael did. Does that make sense?"
"Not really," she said to Elias. Silently she asked, is that true? She'd felt Michael show up during the fight, but he'd stayed out of the way. Maybe he'd learned his lesson about butting in at Avalon.
Yes. I never had the nerve you did, Nik. You fight like you're fearless. I couldn't do that. I was scared every time. For you, for me, for everybody we might hurt.
"I won't pretend to know how you feel, Nikki," Elias broke in before she could respond. "But from an outsider, it looks like one of the things you lost when Michael died was control. I can't bring your powers back, and I can't bring Michael back, as much as I wish I could, but I can help you take control again. That I can offer, if you're willing to work for it."
She was convinced, but she didn't say anything for a minute. He deserved a little stringing along for frustrating her. Michael had to know she'd decided to take him up on the offer, but he stayed silent as well, waiting for her to speak.
"At the very least, we can teach you how to come home with fewer bruises," Elias said, the wrinkles deepening around his eyes. "I think we'd all appreciate that."
Finally, she nodded, and Elias stood a little straighter, like she'd taken a weight off his shoulders. "OK," she said.
* * *
Before he left her room, Elias told Nikki to meet him in the gym in an hour, after she changed into something a little easier to move in and ate something light. As soon as Elias left, Nikki swapped her shirt for a more worn tee and pulled on the single pair of yoga pants she had handy, both loaners from Kate. Then she headed for the galley, intending to eat as heavily as she could. Nothing "light" was going to appease her rumbling stomach. Plus, it would serve Elias right if she hurled on him.
Unfortunately for Nikki's stomach, when she got to the galley she found Kate seated at the nearest table with her back toward the door. Nikki stopped dead in the doorway, unable to enter the room. For several long seconds she weighed the physical discomfort already in her belly against the emotional discomfort guaranteed by a run-in with Kate. In the end, she opted to stick with the pain she knew. She'd gone without food before, and for far longer than a few hours, but having a conversation with her brother's ex-almost-girlfriend, who may or may not be able to hear Michael's thoughts, and for whom she may or may not have second-hand romantic feelings—that was a first. Sh
e had no desire to face emotional turmoil just to satisfy her stomach. Nikki slipped away on silent feet and went back to her room to hide out until lesson time.
When the hour was up, she walked into the gym with a growling tummy, wearing borrowed clothes from the girl she’d just avoided, and feeling like a primo coward.
The gym was more crowded than she'd imagined. She'd expected Elias, but she'd assumed he'd teach her in private, not with most of his team along for the show. Ace and Coop stood in front of Elias, arms locked in a shifting pretzel-like grapple that looked like a stalemate to Nikki's eyes. Impact was rolling the bench press setup over against the wall with the rest of the equipment, apparently to make more open space in the center of the room. And Sam was on the mat stretching.
Sam looked up and smiled, and Nikki had a nearly overwhelming urge to bolt. The thought of looking like a fool was one thing. She could deal with that. The thought of looking like a fool in front of Sam was, for some reason, much more intimidating, probably because she'd relegated him to the friends-only bench in her head. She couldn't help but feel defensive around him now, like she had to be perfect at everything to justify deciding he wasn't good enough to get off the sidelines—not that he'd ever tried. He’d been avoiding her lately almost as much as she had Kate.
"Perfect timing," Elias said as he walked over. "Relax," he added in a softer tone when he saw what must have looked like near panic on her face. "Our resident instructor just wants get a feel for what you already know."
"Test on the first day, huh?" she mumbled back. "This is why I never went to school. I knew this was a bad idea."
"It's not a test," Elias reassured her.
Nikki gave him a look. "You just want me to show you what I know."
"Correct."
"That's a test."
Elias shook his head. "More like an evaluation."
Nikki snorted. "Just because I never went to school doesn't mean I'm dumb, not completely. I know what 'evaluation' means. It means test."
Again, he just shook his head patiently. If he was getting frustrated, he was hiding it well. Behind him, Sam laughed silently as he stood.
"Nothing wrong with her verbal sparring skills," Ace said, tossing a towel to Coop as the two of them stepped off the mat.
"Didn't we just do this, anyway?" Nikki asked with a look that should have given Elias the answer. "What do you think you're going to see here that you didn't see earlier?"
"It's not up to me."
"Why not? You outrank everybody, right? Isn't that kind of the point of having rank?"
"Not in the training room," Elias replied, a slight smile touching his lips. "We go on expertise here." He stepped closer and put a hand on Nikki's shoulder. She resisted the urge to duck away, which was a little too easy to resist for her liking. "No pressure, Nikki. Just do what comes naturally and let the sensei worry about the rest."
Elias stepped aside and left her facing Sam, the only other person on the mat. Of course it was Sam. The one person she didn't want to look like a boob in front of was the one she now had to impress. Nikki chucked a mental curse at luck, then stressed her point, just to be sure. Could have been anybody else, you know, luck? You didn't have to make Sam the sensei. Ass.
He waited with his hands folded behind his back in that soldier's at-ease stance. It was more relaxed when he did it, but it still screamed soldier. He didn't smile like he usually did when he looked at her; he just nodded and asked, “You ready?"
"As I'm going to be," she grumbled back.
Sam turned and walked to the center of the mat, then turned back to face her. Nikki followed more slowly, eyeing him for whatever sudden move he was sure to make. He was playing it cool though. He looked perfectly calm, which only made her more suspicious.
"I'm going to attack you with some basic strikes at half speed," Sam explained. "Defend against them as best you can."
"Half speed? Really?" Nikki felt a disjointed mix of relief and disappointment that she couldn't blame on Michael this time. One, because he wasn't around. He hadn't said a word since Elias was smacking her around earlier. And two, because she knew where both feelings were coming from. She was relieved she wouldn't look like a noob, but disappointed that she didn't have a chance, slim as it might have been, to blow everyone's expectations to bits and fight like the badass she used to be. Assuming that badass was even in her anymore. She was starting to have her doubts.
Sam stepped forward and threw a wide punch so slow and obvious it was laughable. Or it would have been if Nikki hadn't choked. Maybe it was the others standing around watching, or her admitted Sam issues, or maybe it was the ludicrously non-fight feel of this fight. Whatever the cause, she totally blanked on what to do. At the last second, she jumped back awkwardly, feeling a flush climbing her cheeks.
"That's one way to do it," Coop laughed.
Nikki shot him a look but it was Elias who shut him up.
"Zip it, Corporal," he snapped in his big boss tone.
When Nikki looked back, Sam was waiting. Instead of laughing at her or looking at her like she sucked, he helped her save face. "Good, but sometimes it's better to stay in close. Try blocking this one."
Nikki just nodded, and the half-speed swing came at her again. This time she didn't hesitate. She stepped in and intercepted the incoming arm with a punch to the forearm, maybe a little too hard. Was she supposed to go half-speed too? How was she supposed to know exactly how fast half speed was?
"Good." Sam didn't seem upset. "But be careful you don't overextend and leave yourself open. Let's try some more."
"Some more" turned out to be a crap-ton more. Sam kept up the half-speed for another thirty minutes, repeating most of his attacks multiple times before he was done. Each time he repeated one, Nikki assumed she'd hosed up the first block, so she tried something different. No two of her blocks were the same. Whether that was a good or bad thing, she couldn't tell. Sam's neutral expression never wavered, even when she accidentally hit him too hard, a few times.
Finally he called a halt, and Nikki huffed a relieved sigh. She started to head for the edge of the mat, but Sam's expression stopped her.
"Now we go three-quarter speed."
"You're kidding me, right?" Nikki almost laughed. "What does that even mean? Tell me you guys don't actually time yourselves to figure this crap out."
Sam's small smile appeared for the first time since they'd started the test. "Just means we pull our punches at the last second to keep the bruises to a minimum." His eyes shifted to her cheek and tightened momentarily.
"Both of us?"
"I would appreciate that," he replied, his smile wider. He really looked like a completely different man when he did that. The smile started to fade though. "No stopping this time. Pretend this is a real fight."
"Without going all out," she clarified. So, not like a real fight at all. All this speed-guessing was making it hard for her to get in the groove. Add holding back to the mix, and she might as well be tied up.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Are you?"
He answered with a leg sweep that sent her sprawling.
"Five bucks on the short one," Coop said with a louder laugh than his joke deserved. Sam and Nikki were pretty much the only ones who didn't have to duck to walk through the transport hatch, aside from Kate.
"Coop," Elias warned again, but Ace took the bet with a quick, "Done."
As Nikki pushed to her feet and backed away from a circling Sam, Coop tried doing the same with his bet.
"Hang on. Which one do you think I'm talking about?" he asked.
"I'll tell you when it's over," Ace replied. "Idiot."
Backing away didn't help Nikki any more than it did Coop. Sam closed on her before she could ready herself. She threw a jab to hold him back, but he slipped under it like a weasel and gave her side a pop. It was a tap, really—he'd pulled his punch as promised, but it was enough to make her take a step, at which point he swept her leg again and down she went.
<
br /> You need to even your balance, Michael piped up, proving once again that his sense of timing was the only thing worse than his volume control.
"Just what I needed," she groused, staying on her back.
"You giving up?" Sam asked in a low voice. His eyes had a spark in them that said he was enjoying himself, but when she didn't move that spark fizzled into concern. "Are you—"
"Done letting you win? Yep." She rolled to her feet.
Keep your balance, and keep your hands up. Michael knew he was skirting the edge of a really nasty drop by giving her advice, but he butted in anyway. Nikki could feel his conflict clearly. He knew the last thing she wanted right now was coaching, but his desire to help was practically choking him. He'd tried to teach her this stuff before—more than a few times—but she'd never been interested. She hadn't seen the point back then. Why spend her time learning a bunch of fancy stuff when her fighting style was already perfectly suited to their power?
Now she knew why. Without her powers, her fighting style was next to worthless. That's why Michael had studied martial arts so hard. He'd always hated using his strength against people so he'd trained to the point where he didn't have to.
You spent your whole life preparing to be normal, she thought to Michael as she squared off with Sam again. Yet another reason why I should be the dead one, not you.
She didn't remember having that thought before, but now that it was out there between them, she knew it was exactly what she'd been feeling for the last four months. She was angry—no shock there—but not at Savior or Gideon, or even the Hunter. She was angry at Michael for leaving her. She was angry at him for forcing her to live a normal life without the only two things she cared about in the world. If she'd had the choice, she wouldn't have hesitated in the slightest. Live without Michael and her powers, or die and leave him to live the powerless life he’d always wanted. Easy choice.
Her realization hurt Michael. She felt his pain, a sharp stab that grew stronger as he realized how deeply she meant it. But Nikki didn't have time to dwell on it or explain. Sam moved to attack, and the fight took over.
