by Dante King
“Yeah,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m into fantasy too, but I’m sort of into the smutty kind.”
Maddie wiggled her eyebrows as she looked up from the screen. “I love smutty,” she purred, thumbing the first book in a long series open. “I’m sure I’ll have plenty of naughty fantasies in my head the next time you come to see me, Luke…”
“You’re the best,” I said in amazement. “You’ll really be waiting for me at the door, with a home-cooked meal?”
“Absolutely,” Maddie said, beaming. She ran a finger down my bare chest, a fire igniting in her gaze. “And when you come back, we’ll finish what we started in the bedroom…”
Yeah, I thought, feeling guilty all of a sudden. Except I can’t get you off again, Maddie. If I do that, there’s no telling what will happen…
I shook the thought off. All that was in the future; besides, Maddie looked so fucking pleased standing there in nothing but her skirt. It would’ve been a sin to worry her.
“I can’t wait,” I said, giving her a peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
She reached down and gave my cock a squeeze. “You’d better. Oh, and Luke…?”
I was already reaching for the subspace. “Yeah?”
“Maybe you better put on some clothes before you head back out there,” she said with a giggle. “Unless you want those monsters jumping on you the same way they did to me…”
Good call! With a gesture, I summoned my robes. Not my grubby IT uniform—that outfit no longer suited me. As a candidate for Archlord of Hell, I ought to look the part. The shimmering black robes Lucifer had adorned me with materialized around me, fitting my body like a tailored suit.
Maddie took one look at me and gasped. “Holy shit, you look amazing! Be careful out there, alright?”
“I will,” I told her, the world already dissolving around me. Whatever happened the next time we met, there was one thing I couldn’t deny about Maddie.
I was really, really looking forward to seeing her again.
Chapter 11
“Alright,” I said to Xora, Mareth, and Christina when I was back at the Infernal Academy. “Ready to start the tour?”
Xora nodded past me. “You should start by giving Desdemona your keys,” the rusalka explained as she nodded at the valet. “So that she can park your car—without the difficulties, this time.”
Yeah, I thought. That would be good. “Here you go,” I said, handing them over to the valet a bit sheepishly. I might have been pissed at Xora still, but this woman was a service worker—she wasn’t to blame. “Sorry for the trouble.”
“Do me a favor,” Desdemona snapped, “and warn me next time you’re storing something alive in your ride.” Then her face softened. “Just come up front whenever you need your vehicle,” she said in a kindlier tone. “We’ll have it out for you in a jiffy.”
I didn’t think I’d have much opportunity to go joyriding around Hell, but it was good to keep in mind. “Thanks,” I said double-timing it to catch up with the others.
Xora was busy leading Mareth and Christina across the green, which had cleared out considerably after the little fight over Maddie in my trunk.
“How’s Maddie now?” Christina asked after I’d caught up.
“She’s fine,” I said. “Safe.”
“Uh huh.” Christina’s long tongue slid out of her mouth, teasing the bottom of her chin like she wanted to show me how far she could stick it out. “Did you fuck her?”
I coughed to hide my surprise at the question. “What are you talking about? I don’t just go sticking my dick in every willing woman who comes along, Christina.”
“Sure you don’t.” Her eyes narrowed, the wheels turning behind them. “You made sure to specify penetration, which tells me you did something else with our pantyless little waitress…”
“You’re just jealous,” I laughed, wrapping my hands around her waist. “You wanted another glorious threesome in subspace, didn’t you, babe?”
Her face lit up with triumph. “You did! You went to third base with her instead of all the way, because you’re scared you’re going to turn her into a demon!” She laughed and did a triumphant little jump. “I don’t know why you would be, though. Maddie’s cute. She’d make an awesome fucking demon…”
“The cafeteria is over there,” Xora said, pointing with a slender finger at a two-story building at one corner of the green. “Students at the Academy are automatically enrolled in a meal plan, so you won’t have to worry about food or drink while you’re here. Our menu encompasses a variety of specialty diets—we even have food for humans!” She grinned at me.
“I thought demons ate human food,” I said. “You’re not vegetarians or something, are you?”
Xora blanched, no doubt remembering the way she’d acted around Maddie. “A variety of diets,” she repeated, turning back around and leading us further across the green. “Dorms are over there, which we’ll visit once we’re done with everything else we have to get knocked out this afternoon.”
I turned, looking up. And up. What Xora had casually referred to as the ‘dorms’ was a ten-story building, curved like a horseshoe around the far corner of the Academy’s grounds. In sharp contrast to the buildings around it, there were no turrets, gargoyles or other ostentatious embellishments on the dormitories. It stretched to the sky, sleek and black and obsidian, seemingly carved out of the landscape rather than built.
“That’s huge,” I said, stopping in my tracks beneath the dormitory’s shadow. “You could fit an entire army of demons in there…”
“Several armies,” Xora agreed with good-natured humor. “It’s even bigger on the inside than it appears. Demonic architecture and all that. Around fifty thousand demons call the Academy dorms their home, although max occupancy is around twice that.”
“A hundred thousand,” I repeated, shocked to my core. That meant that even the huge crowds I’d seen so far comprised only a fraction of the full student body. I thought about the possessions and oppressions Mareth had pointed out in Christina’s neighborhood, before we made our journey into Hell. If the ratio of people to demons remained the same across the country, or the world, that meant the Infernal Academy had to train a whole lot of demons.
No wonder they needed dorms that could double as their own city-state.
“We also have commuter students, of course.” Xora said, leading us past the dorms. “Not every demon who attends the Infernal Academy lives on campus — a number of them drive to classes from whichever Circle of Hell they come from.” Her grin widened. “Work-study, you understand.”
As I looked up into one of the windows near the tenth floor, a beautiful purple-skinned demon appeared. She was in the middle of some kind of exercise routine, with weights in both hands and a big fluffy headband around her forehead the same shade as her skin.
She was also topless.
The demon locked eyes with me and grinned. I expected her to yell at me, or realize her nudity and duck away from the window, but she just kept standing there with a smile, inviting me to look. So I did.
Just as she seemed about to pop the window open and invite me up for more, Xora turned around and cupped a hand around her mouth. “Hell to Luke, come in, Luke! We’re way ahead of you here!”
I hustled to catch up, giving the purple-skinned demon an awkward wave. Rain check, maybe, I thought, smirking proudly. It was looking like I might be a popular guy on campus. I’ll have to keep an eye out for you later…
Xora paused at the end of the lane, spreading her arms before a massive four-story building. “And this is where you’ll be taking your classes…”
Gargoyles perched from the sides of it on each floor, their stone faces twisted in leering, wicked expressions of amusement. It was as if they were laughing at anyone foolhardy enough to venture inside, cackling over their eventual fate.
“And here,” the rusalka said, pausing before the stairs, “is where you’ll begin your demonic educ
ation. Within these halls, the seven schools of the Infernal Academy strive to provide students with all the tools they need to tempt mortals, bend the nature of reality to their whim, and more.” Xora turned to me, beaming with pride. “We paint with all the hues of Hell here, Luke.”
Inside, the vestibule resembled the lobby of a museum. Granite floors stretched beneath us, a high ceiling supported by thick columns made of the same material. Despite the size of the building, this chamber outpaced it by an order of magnitude. More demonic magic, then.
In the center of the chamber was a circular information desk. A goblin sat behind it, its green nails tapping impatiently at the formica surface as students made their way down the various halls without any need of questions. It looked up as our group approached.
“This is the tour group,” Xora said formally, giving the goblin a sideways glance. “I need two passes—one for the human, one for the transmogrified demon.”
The goblin licked his chops at the sight of Christina. Irritation filled me at sight of his bulging eyes on her, and I slammed an elbow down on the desk. “Problem?”
He turned away, pursing his lips. “Not at all. Two passes. Make sure you don’t lose them.”
They turned out to be little more than plastic stickers with the word ‘VISITOR’ written on them. The person who’d filled them out had very poor handwriting—the ‘R’ at the end of mine looked more like a ‘P’. I hadn’t quite figured out if it was an intentional insult when Xora shuffled us on, ignoring the officious little man and his tiny bit of power.
“Forgive him,” Xora said, taking the plastic squares from Christina and I as soon as we were out of sight. “Work-study program from the Fae realms: it’s so difficult for them to adjust. You won’t be needing those.”
I shrugged as she ripped the stickers neatly in two and tucked them away. “I thought we were supposed to be wearing them the whole time we’re in here?”
Xora scoffed. “This is Hell,” she said, pursing her pouty lips. “What kind of demons would we be if we followed the rules 100% of the time?”
I could understand that. “Probably make me look like an asshole, anyway,” I said. Christina hadn’t even bothered to put hers on—it would have clashed terribly with her scales.
I realized I’d just let the fact that Xora had mentioned “Fae Realms” slip by without so much as a question. I was already having the craziest day of my life, so I figured I’d leave the subject of realms beyond Heaven, Hell, and Earth alone for now.
“We’ll be making a circuit of the building,” Xora explained, leading us down a wide, well-lit corridor. Portraits of demons adorned the walls, dressed in formal attire with stoic, serious expressions. From the looks of them, this place had a seriously large number of elite alumni. “Each of the seven schools connects to two of the others—which makes it a hassle to get from class to class sometimes, but ensures each demonic student will at least get a little bit of everything on their syllabus. They form a rough circle—one whose contours you’ll get to know intimately well, Luke.”
The building had been in no way circular from the outside. I decided to roll with it. “A circle…” I said, giving the rusalka a wry smile. “A Circle of Hell, you mean?”
“Just so.” Xora seemed pleased I’d understood so quickly. “First up is a subject every demon at the Infernal Academy must contend with sooner or later. I’m sure you were very familiar with it back in your human life…”
Chapter 12
The four of us stepped through a huge set of double doors. Instantly a million different smells hit me: roasting meat, cinnamon, the rich creamy scent of a hot fudge sundae. My mouth watered uncontrollably, my stomach giving a very undignified rumble.
“Oh maaan,” Mareth groaned, following us into the hall. “I swear, I put on ten pounds every time I enter this place…”
“Where are we?” I asked, taking it all in. The hall was set up like a laboratory, the main rectangular hall giving way to several annexes, classrooms, and lecture auditoriums. But while labs were sterile and gray, this place had color to spare. I could feel the rods and cones in my eyes screaming from the onslaught of bright, primary colors. I felt like I’d won a golden ticket to go see the chocolate factory—only the Oompa Loompas had turned out to be demons in disguise.
Wait. Were Oompa Loompas demons? That would actually make a lot of sense. I made a mental note to ask someone as Xora continued with the tour.
“You’re standing in the halls of the Gluttony School,” Xora said, only a tiny sliver of her pink tongue visible in the corner of her mouth. “Here, you’ll be instructed in the magical culinary arts—as well as alchemy, apothecary, and the brewing of potions, elixirs and cordials. Each is its own field of study within the school…”
She wasn’t kidding. A half-dozen demons worked furiously behind a series of metal tables, standing in the middle of what looked like an industrial kitchen. As we watched, a female instructor wearing a chef’s outfit picked out an apple and gave it to a student. They dipped it into a boiling cauldron, adding liquids from clear glass bottles as the mixture frothed and seethed. Then they brought the apple out with a pair of tongs.
For a brief instant, the image of a skull appeared across the skin, and I gasped. Then the tongs twisted, the apple slipped, and the whole thing fell to the floor with a crash. Bits of apple coated the tiles.
“You’ll get it,” the instructor said, patting the upset student on the shoulder. “Rome wasn’t destroyed in a day, little imp…”
I was intrigued. “Is that poison they’re making? Like in the fairytale?”
Xora shrugged. “We learn to use food and drink to many effects, Luke. Poison, of course—but also medicine. Draughts to make a fair maiden sleep, elixirs to augment a demon’s strength and speed in the field—a good knowledge of Gluttony can mean the difference between success and failure on an important mission for the Lords of Hell.”
I could read between the lines. As a potential Lord of Hell myself, it would do me in good standing to understand as much of this as I could. “Good to know,” I said.
By my side, Christina looked just as excited as I was. “Look at those ovens! Those things could fit Hansel, Gretel, and the witch too, huh?”
Xora beamed with pride. “Everything at the Infernal Academy is top notch. Oh, here comes one of your potential instructors now. Ceelz, want to say hi?”
It was the demoness wearing the chef’s outfit—the one who’d shrugged off the pupil’s failure with the apple. Her suit was caked in what I first assumed was some kind of dust, but as she brushed it off her shoulders, I realized it was flour.
“Welcome, new students!” She flashed a toothy smile. Her canines were the size of my index finger, curved like the tusks of a boar. She towered over Christina, Mareth, and I, a good head taller than everyone else in the Gluttony wing. Her uniform fit her like a glove, doing little to hide the sleek muscle of her arms and legs. This woman took care of herself—she was like a sexy orc. The green skin and amber eyes only heightened the comparison.
“Students, this is Ceelz, a Professor of Demonic Cuisine. Ceelz, this is Christina and Luke. Mareth’s been assigned as their shadow at the Infernal Academy.”
Her gaze lingered for a few moments on Christina, then spent significantly longer on me. “You’re him,” she said, tapping a finger against the tip of her chin. “The new Archlord candidate, right?”
I wasn’t used to such frank treatment—even from demons. This woman had just sized me up like she wanted to eat me, although since she worked with food all day, maybe she was just hungry. She was gorgeous, sure, but more than a little bit intimidating, too.
“Luke,” I said, taking her hand in much the same way I’d done to Xora when we first met. “I—”
My hand was no longer holding hers like an old-time gentleman. She had my palm inside of hers, and squeezed like the two of us were about to start an arm-wrestling competition. Xora’s eyes went huge as she watched the tall demon give
me the firmest handshake of my life. Pain flared in my bones, my eyes watering as I struggled not to let it show. Ceelz grinned savagely, as if she’d just proven something to herself.
Then something snapped inside of me, and I squeezed back. Surprise showed on Ceelz’s face as I met her grip with my own, shaking her hand back vigorously. “Nice to meet you,” I said, tucking my hand behind my back as soon as the greeting was done. I hesitated to look down, fearing I’d see nothing but mangled fingers.
Ceelz grinned. “That’s some serious power,” she said, looking at me with new eyes. She indicated Christina. “Is she your follower?”
“We’re attending the Academy together,” I said, not willing to say any more. It didn’t do to blab everything to every willing ear that came by—one of the things I’d learned in life through painful trial and error was to keep my cards close to my chest. “Maybe we’ll all end up in the same class together.”
“Yeah, I doubt that,” Ceelz said, the smile staying plastered to her face. “I bet you’re hungry after using your demonic ability like that. I’d be happy to show you some of my cooking skills some time. Working here full-time, you get used to having a hell of an appetite…”
I could have laughed. Two minutes together, and this woman had already propositioned me? Or was her offer of food more innocent than it seemed?
Xora leaned over, dropping her voice to a stage whisper. “She is not joking,” the rusalka muttered in her accent. “The woman can eat a ton. Were it not for duplication spells, demons like her would eat the rest of us out of the Academy…”
Huh. She certainly didn’t look it, from the muscles. I thought about those super-ripped people who won hot-dog eating competitions: champion eaters. Or Olympic athletes who put down thousands of calories in a single meal from all they burned off swimming or running. Ceelz looked like she could’ve been one of those kinds of girls, for sure. Real athletic.
