by Rohan Healy
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Chapter 16
After sleeping for what felt like only minutes Miles was nudged awake by the boot of Gideon who stood above him grinning as usual.
“Rise and shine Miles, time to go huntin’. I’ll be out in the diner, get dressed and meet me out there, I need to talk to ya about something.”
Gideon left the scullery, walking through the steel door into the diner as Miles slipped out of the sleeping bag, rolled it up and placed in under the sink as he did every morning. He pulled on his trousers and a shirt, squeezed his feet into his worn out shoes and made his way into the eatery. Stretching and yawing he spotted Gideon sitting at a table at the far end of the room next to the window that faced into the street.
“Have a seat my boy,” said Gideon reaching over and slapping the seat opposite his. Miles complied and rested his bottom on the wooden chair.
“As you know you and Jasper will be taking another trip today. I’ve heard tell that yesterday another shuttle landed but the doors malfunctioned and whoever’s in there can’t get out.”
‘That’s exactly what happened to us,’ Miles thought, ‘my God, were we that close to being burger meat ourselves?! Although I’d say Maxen would have had something to say about that’.
“So you want us to head to the landing zone, get the door open and um…extract the people,” said Miles with a gulp.
“You catch on quick,” said Gideon laughing, “yeah that’s about the gist of it. I’ve got an old industrial blowtorch that you boys can use to cut a hole in that door. Used to belong to Taggart before he took off for Titans Arena lookin’ for glory, haven’t heard from him in a year, stupid bastard probably got himself killed long ago. But I digress. Get to the landing zone, open the door, get the meat and bring it back. You got all that?”
“Got it,” nodded Miles affirmatively. He wasn’t looking forward to yet another meat raid but he had now accepted that they were a part of surviving life on Gyaros for the moment and the foreseeable future. He focused on his family, his home and the one thousand talons that would be his at the end of the day. One step closer to getting out of this psychotic situation. Miles stood up to go and prepare for the trip but Gideon grabbed his arm and began to speak. Miles sat back down.
“Oh and Miles there’s something else I need to talk to you about. Now we all know what happened last time, you froze up. I can’t afford to lose Jasper you understand? Not after what happened to Emmet.”
“I’m sorry Gideon, there was nothing I could do. I wanted to help but my hands just wouldn’t move!”
“I know you did boy, no one’s saying you did it on purpose, these thing happen until you learn to overcome it.”
‘Learn to overcome it? What does that mean?’ Miles thought to himself as his stomach contracted and he felt his skin tingle ominously.
“We’ve been plenty patient with you Miles, but unless you make your first kill you’re about as useful here as an umbrella in a dust storm.”
“But I clean, I-I run the register sometimes, I run errands! Surely I earn my keep, I-I don’t eat much. I’m just not a killer, I-I don’t think I can even do it!” Miles stuttered with panic in his voice, ‘please don’t make me kill people Gideon!’
“Sure, you do your share of the work round here Miles, I ain’t arguing with you there. But I can’t send my boy out with someone who’s gonna freeze every time the shit hits the fan. And besides I do believe the conditions of your employment included doing what you were told.”
‘Damn it, he’s right, keep my mouth shut and do what I’m told, those were the rules. That’s the reason I’m still here and not in a burger’
“Now you’re free to go Miles, anytime you like, ain’t no one keeping ya here but you. But I’m tellin’ you now that if you wanna stay workin’ and livin’ here you’re gonna have to step it up. One of these days Miles it’s gonna be kill or be killed, whether you’re working here or not. And now wouldn’t it be easier to pop yer cherry with a nice docile Carthaginian straight off the shuttle than with the hardened folk up here? Way I see it, I’m doin’ you a favour here Miles.”
Miles knew Gideon had a point, a terrible, morbid, sickening point but a valid point all the same. He had often spent his restless nights dwelling on the fact that at some stage he would most likely be forced to take the life of another on Gyaros. But having it sprung on him like this was such a shock, no amount of dwelling or pondering could have prepared him for the reality of actually murdering another human being.
“I know what you say is true Gideon but still, I honestly don’t know if I’m capable of killing someone. Shooting straw men and targets at the range is very different to ending the life of a human being!” Miles argued hoping against hope that his humanitarian appeal would change Gideon’s mind.
“You don’t have a problem eating these human beings you’re so fond of, so what’s the big deal with killing one?” Gideon retorted bluntly.
Miles was sickened by what he’d just heard, both by the reminder of his current diet and the fact that once again he was without any real argument.
“Miles listen, I can see you’re having trouble with this, but it gets easier with every kill,” Gideon said in a compassionate manner.
‘I don’t want it to get easier, I don’t want to kill anyone!’ Miles thought.
“Today you’re taking point, you’re the kill man and Jasper will back you up,” Gideon said, now very serious, “if you come back here today without a kill you won’t be welcome here no more you understand? We’ll make do without you until we find someone to replace ya, someone who can end another person’s life and wash dishes.” Gideon’s eyes pierced into Mile’s soul, an incredibly stern look on his face. But suddenly it changed to that big grin once more.
“Cheer up buddy, you’re gonna do just fine. Get it done and we’ll celebrate with a night at The Rusty Anchor!” he said jovially. Miles hadn’t yet mentioned that he was banned from the bar, and this certainly wasn’t the best time to bring it up.
Miles nodded reluctantly feeling completely drained, he sauntered back into the scullery to wash up and prepare for the dark task that awaited him.
Miles and Jasper bounced along the rocky dirt road as they headed out from the southern entrance of The Dustbowl this time, out toward the landing zone. The pickup truck entered the narrow valley between the two vertical rock formations that Miles had walked with Landi and Maxen what felt like an eternity ago, though it could not have been more than four weeks at the most.
“So, your first time huh Miles,” said Jasper looking over toward the sullen figure beside him. “Aww come on man, it ain’t so bad, shit I don’t even know how many I’ve killed and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with me!”
‘That’s a matter for debate,’ thought Miles. Ever since his arrival he had held himself above the citizens of Gyaros, he was not like them, he was civilized, humane, caring, ethical and moral. “You are a good man Miles” were Candice’s words and Miles believed them. But the longer he stayed the more his old standards eroded, he had stood by as people were murdered before him, he had eaten human flesh and now he was being asked to kill another person, to end their life. Miles knew that if he was thrown out of Ransom’s Fresh Meat he would be once again at the mercy of the savage townsfolk of The Dustbowl. Without the protection of Gideon and Jasper he would soon have to kill in order to survive anyway. He had no choice, not if he wanted to get to New Fortune.
‘Maybe it does get easier. Oh God what am I thinking!’ Miles battled with his conscience during the trip, but in the end he reluctantly resolved to kill the new arrivals. On the plus side was that, once he had killed someone, his biggest fear would be over with, no longer would he dread the day when he must choose between taking another’s life and losing his own. It was a ghastly silver lining, but it was a silver lining nonetheless, and Miles was desperate for positives at this stage. And remember, these were criminals and undesirables deemed unfit to inhabit Carthage. That had to minimis
e Miles’ burden somewhat, surely. But could Miles have killed Maxen, or Landi? They too were shuttled but they were some of the most decent men Miles had met on Gyaros or anywhere else for that matter! There were simply no clear answers.
“Here we are,” said Jasper as he pulled the truck into the landing zone. The drive felt like only a few minutes, clearly the trip is much quicker in a vehicle than it is on foot. Miles took the revolver from under his seat and exited the truck. Jasper turned off the engine, grabbed his gun and walked around to the back of the truck where he got the industrial blow torch, throwing it over his shoulder with the strap. Miles looked around at the familiar location, the place where he too had landed all those days ago. He looked at the husks of the thousands of Talos shuttles that littered the landscape all the way to the red horizon.
“C’mon, let’s find the crash site,” Jasper said eagerly, beckoning Miles to follow. The two men made their way through the ruins of the old Talos docks and shuttle bays in search of the new arrival. After a couple of minutes Miles spotted the shuttle he arrived in with Maxen and Landi. Miles’ smiled and ran over to it to get a closer look, desperate to prolong the inevitable as long as he could.
“Hey look Jasper,” he shouted running to the crashed craft, “this is the shuttle I came in!”
Miles and Jasper looked inside the cabin which was now filled with sand up to about eight inches, the door blasted wide open by Maxen’s arm cannon.
“Can you believe this thing took me all the way from up there,” Miles said pointing to Carthage which hung silently in the clear blue daytime sky.
“Crazy stuff man,” replied Jasper shaking his head, “c’mon, we’d better find this ship.”
Suddenly Miles heart sunk as he was pulled from his day dreams back to the terrible reality of what was about to be forced upon him. That shuttle was his connection to Carthage. Proof that he didn’t belong on Gyaros.
They walked another couple of minutes when they heard a soft banging sound. They looked at each other with a good understanding of what such a banging might be an indication of.
“It’s coming from that direction,” pointed Miles and the two of them set off at a sprint in the direction of the sound, their revolvers held high. Making their way past several wrecked old shuttles they finally reached the source of the sound. Sure enough there it was, a fresh looking Talos shuttle still smoking from the impact, accompanied by the intermittent pounding of someone striking the craft from inside.
“Howdy!” shouted Jasper, “we’re here to help, y’all just stay calm and we’ll get you out.”
The banging stopped and Miles raised his weapon, planting his feet firmly into the dirt below.
“We’ve got food and water, and we will take you to shelter,” continued Jasper, shouting lies through the thick steel hull of the shuttle as he checked his weapon, “I’m gonna blow torch a hole into the door so y’all stand back now and cover your eyes.”
Jasper winked up at Miles who stood at the door, pistol at the ready.
“You good to go?” Jasper whispered, Miles nodded firmly in acknowledgment. “Alright, let’s do this.”
Jasper started the large industrial blow torch and began cutting a circular opening into the shuttle door. Miles adjusted himself and took a deep breath.
‘This is it, just take the shot and get this fucking thing over with. This is for Hellen, this is for Chet. I can fucking do this!’ He took another deep breath and closed his eyes in order to centre himself as Jasper continued to cut open the hole. Miles opened his eyes and pointed his gun at the door holding it firmly with both hands, he then closed one eye tight to increase his accuracy, the other eye staring down the sights. Jasper had almost completed the circle. Miles cherished his last few seconds as an innocent man, a moral man, and prepared for the first time in his life to murder a human being. No trial, no jury, no justification, just plain murder.
Miles held his breath as Jasper finished welding, the heavy door fell outward with a loud thud and a huge puff of dust which completely obscured Miles’ field of vision.
‘Shit, I can’t see a thing! What am I supposed to do?’ Miles thought as he squinted, straining to see past the thick cloud of red sand. Miles stood there, gun raised, shoulders tensed as the cloud began to dissipate. Frantically Miles searched for a target as Jasper crouched beside the open door, his gun held high as he coughed and struggled to see.
And then he spotted it. A human figure hidden behind the furthest seat on the shuttle. He aimed squarely at the person’s head, took a deep breath and began to slowly squeeze the trigger. The hammer leaned back further and further until suddenly it stopped. Miles’ jaw dropped and his eyes widened. Witnessing Miles’ reaction Jasper spoke.
“What the fuck are you doin’ Miles, take the shot!” he shouted. Miles simply froze, unable to move, just like before. Jasper jumped to his feet and peered around the open doorway to see what had rattled Miles so badly. As he looked inside he saw only a single passenger. She was huddled behind the last seat at the back, shaking uncontrollably. The young girl looked to be around eight or nine years old. She had dark, almond shaped eyes and jet black hair which was styled into two shoulder length pig tails and a straight fringe that sat just above her terrified eyes. Her tears created little rivers down her soft tan cheeks which were covered with dirt and dust and she sniffed and wiped her little round nose.
“I-I can’t do it Jasper, look at her for God’s sake!” Miles shouted at Jasper, lowering his weapon and pointing at the little girl.
“Quit your bitchin’ and take the shot Miles, it’s food, it don’t matter what it looks like!” Jasper shouted back angrily.
“Jasper I will kill, I swear I will, I promise you, but I can’t kill her! This girl needs help, she needs…”
“She needs a bullet to the brain! She’s as good as dead Miles, ain’t no way she’s gonna survive till sundown, now do the bitch a favour and take her out!”
Miles raised his weapon yet again as his eyes filled with tears. He took aim at the scared little girl’s forehead but his hands shook violently and he aimed his gun away again.
“God damn it, don’t you understand I can’t kill a child Jasper. I couldn’t live with myself!” Miles screamed as tears began to stream down his face.
“Miles you heard what pa said, you ain’t welcome no more if you don’t make the kill, and you ain’t gonna survive one minute in The Dustbowl without us looking out for ya! Hell I might as well shoot you right here and save you the trip back to town, shit, you’d probably make a good steak too seein’ as how well you’ve been eatin’ since ya got here!”
Jasper aimed his revolver at Miles’ face and cocked his weapon. The little girl wiped the tears from her face as she watched the two men argue. Miles closed his eyes and accepted death. He’d had a good run, he’d lasted longer than most on Gyaros and he’d led a basically good life. His final thoughts were of his family as he calmed his breathing and waited for the shot to end his life.
“Aww fuck it!” shouted Jasper and Miles opened his eyes in surprise, “I don’t wanna get in any shit from pa for shootin’ you God damn it. I’ll just make the damn kill and pa can deal with you later.” Jasper took his aim off Miles and turned the gun to the little girl who let out a pathetic whimper and closed her eyes tight, covering her face with her hands.
“No!” Miles yelled, “please, I-I’ll do it. Please just give me one more chance,” Miles begged in a low voice looking like a truly defeated man.
“Fine,” said Jasper with a heavy sigh, “just hurry the fuck up, I’m hungry.”
Miles slowly raised his pistol toward the little girl cowering in the corner, her hands now covering her face. Miles shook his head hard and steeled himself for action.
“I’m sorry,” he said under his breath as he once again squeezed the trigger, “I’m so sorry…Jasper.”
At the last moment Miles turned to his left and trained his sights on Jasper’s forehead.
“What the
fuck are you doin’ Miles?” he laughed, before turning dead serious when he realised what was going on. Jasper began to raise his gun to fire but Miles shot first. The deafening blast rang out across the shuttle graveyard as the sound bounced off the carcasses of a thousand derelict space craft. Jasper’s lifeless body slumped to the ground creating a small cloud of red dust as silence once again pervaded the scene, save for the odd sniff emanating from inside the Talos shuttle.
Miles stood there unmoving, his gun still aimed where Jasper’s head was only moments ago, his arms rigid. A thousand thoughts flooded his mind.
‘What have I done? I’m a killer. I killed Jasper! What’s going to happen when Gideon finds out? How can I go back to The Dustbowl now? I’m a dead man! What about this girl? I can’t take her with me! With me where? Where can I go? I am so fucked!’ He dropped to the ground and sat in the sand, his energy drained. All of a sudden the little girl stirred, she began sheepishly making her way to the exit of the ship until she was standing at the circular opening still sniffing spasmodically.
“Th-thank you mister,” her soft, weak voice uttered between irregular breaths. Miles looked up at the young girl and his heart ached at the sight of the helpless child. She wore a red denim overalls-style dress with a small pocket in the front, on the pocket was a yellow embroidered dandelion. Under the dress she wore a light pink t shirt. The little girl looked down at the dead body only a couple of feet away, she shrieked and quickly averted her eyes from the horrible sight. Miles reacted instinctively to this, standing up quickly and leading her away from the scene by her hand. Without thinking he walked her all the way back to the pickup truck and placed her in the passenger’s seat, out of the hot morning sun. He walked around the vehicle and sat in the driver’s seat, placing his head in his hands.
‘Think Miles, damn it! You’ve really screwed up now, what the hell are you going to do?’ he berated himself.
“Excuse me mister, are you my papa?” said the girl in a dry, croaky voice. Miles had almost forgotten about his passenger as he desperately attempted to think of a plan of action. What a bizarre questions he thought.
