"Feel better? Well then, you wouldn't know whether you do or not, would you? You wouldn't even know how lucky you are. "
"I'm not... dead. I should be dead. "
"Indeed you should. Sacrificed in the play, like a pawn, dead as a pantry mouse under the claws of the cat. You would be, too, except for this. " He picked my ragged jacket from the floor, holding it so that I could see what the rents revealed, a tracery of golden thread and silver wire, winking red eyes of tiny gems set into the circuits of stitchery in the lining. "He. bade Nitch sew this into your jacket. Just in case. "
"How did he know? I don't understand... "
"It would be hard to understand, " said Chance,
"except by one long mired in treachery. Ah. But Mertyn is not young, lad. He has seen much and studied more. He saw those ribbons, and he knew. Oh, if they'd been a few colorful tilings such as any friend might give, he'd have understood. A love gift, after all. But those you had? Nothing else like them in the town? What purpose a gift like that?"
"I thought he gave them to me so that he would know me among all the other maskers... "
"Then you saw deep, lad, and didn't know it. "
"Did he mean to play me, even then?" I cried in my belly, a hard knot of pain there which hurt more than the fire beneath the bandages on my face and arms.
Chance shrugged, leaned to smooth my pillow. "Do you students know what you will play before the game begins? You set your pieces out in the game box, all shining, the ones you think you'll play and the ones you hold in reserve. Maybe he brought you along to see him win. But, he wasn't strong enough to win against the
King, and he wasn't brave enough to stand against the move and bear the play as it came, so he threw you into the game like a bone to a Fustigar. "
I think I cried then, for he said nothing more. Then I slept. Then I woke again, and it was morning, with
Mertyn in the chair beside my bed.
"I am sorry you were hurt, Peter, " he said. "Perhaps you would rather be dead, but I gambled you would not feel so a year from now. Had I the skill with shields and deflectors I do with other strategy, I would have saved you these wounds. "
For a long time I simply looked at him, at the gray hair falling in a tumbled lock across his forehead, at the line of his cheeks and the curve of his lips, so much like my own. There was nothing there unkindly, and yet I was angry with him. He had saved my life, and I hated him.
The anger and hatred made no sense, were foolish. I would not repay him with foolishness, therefore I could not repay him.
He stared at his boots. "When you were put into play,
Sorcerer struck. An Imperative. Nothing I could do:
The screen in your jacket was not perfect. There was considerable splash, and you caught a little of it.
Mandor caught most. "
I had to ask. "The Prince? Gamesmaster Mandor?"
"I do not know. His players carried him away. They do not know at Havad's House. Likely he is lost in play.
He had provoked me more than once, Peter, but even then I did not call for that Game. "
"I know. "
He sighed, very deeply. "I am sending you away from
Mertyn's House. Shielding you was forbidden. When we do things that are forbidden, there is always a price.
For me, the price will be to lose you, for I have been fond of you, Peter. " He leaned forward and kissed me, forbidden, forbidden, forbidden. Then he went away. I did not see him again.
For me, the price was to be sent away from everything
I had ever known. It was hard, though not as hard as they could have made it, for they let Yarrel and Chance go with me. We were to become an Ordo Vagorum, so
Chance said. I had put myself in another's hands, truly and completely. I had learned why that is foolish. Never mind that it is forbidden. It is foolish.
They did not forbid me to play the Game-someday.
I was no nearer to being named. There were wounds on my face which would make scars I would always carry.
They said something about sending us to another
House, one far away, one requiring a very long journey.
I got over being angry at King Mertyn. Each morning when I woke I had tears on my face left over from brightly colored dreams, but I could not really remember what they were.
Journeying
I remember only odds and ends about the time that followed, pictures, fragments as of dreams or stories of things that happened to someone else. I remember sitting in a window at harborside, water clucking against the wall beneath me, the blue-bordered curtain flapping in the wind, flap, flap, striking the bandage on my head.
The border was woven with a pattern of swans, and I bore the pain of it rather than move away. Chance and
Yarrel seem to have ignored me then as they went about the business of readying us for travel. The piles of supplies in the room behind me grew larger, but I had no idea what was in them.
I remember Chance reading the let-pass which had been issued by Mertyn's House and countersigned by the Council of Schooltown, a pass begging the indulgence of Gamesmen everywhere in letting us go by without involving us in whatever might be going on. It was only as good as the good nature of those who might read it, but Chance seemed to take some comfort from it, nonetheless. Chance spoke of Schooltown as built remote from the lands of the True Game and warded about with protections in order to "keep our study academic and didactic rather than dangerously experiential. " Yarrel mocked him for sounding pompous, and he replied that he merely quoted Gamesmaster Mertyn.
That sticks in my head, oddly.
I remember Chance buying charts from a map-man, the map-man waxing poetic about the accuracy with which the Demesnes were shown and the delicacy with which the cartouches were drawn-these being the symbols mapmakers use to show which Gamesmen may dwell in a given place.
I remember boarding the Lakely Lass, a fat-bellied little ship which was to take us from the mouth of the
River Reave along the north and western shores of the
Gathered Waters until we came at last to Vestertown and the highroad leading south. There was a Seer standing at the rail as we came aboard, his gauze-covered face turned toward me so that I could see the glitter of his eyes beneath the painted pattern of moth wings. Then I remember huddling with Chance and Yarrel over a chart spread on the tough table, shadows scurrying across it from the hanging lantern each time the ship rolled, Chance pointing and peering and mumbling...
"Over there, east, is the Great Dragon Demesne. See the cartouche, dragon head, staff-that's for a warlock, a slather of spears showing he's got Armigers. Well, we'll miss that by a good bit. "
"How will we know the highroad is safe?" asked
Yarrel in his usual practical tone.
"We'll go mousey and shy, my boys, mousey and shy.
Quiet, like so many owl shadows under the trees, making, no hijus cries or bringing on us the attentions of the powerful. Well, hope has it there are many alive in the world of the Game who have never seen the edge of it played. "
I said, "I don't understand that. " They both stared at me in astonishment.
"Well, well, with us again are you? We'd about given you up, we had, and resolved to carry your senseless carcass the whole way to its new House without your tenancy. You don't understand it? Why, boy, it's 'most the first lesson you learned. "
"I can't remember, " I mumbled. It was true. I couldn't.
"Why, " he said, "when you were no more than four or five, we used to play our little two-space games in the kitchen before the fire, you and me. You with your little-bit queen and king on each side, the white and the black, and your wee armigers and priests and the tiny sentinels at each end, standing high on their parapets, and me the same. AH set out on the board in such array, like the greatest army of ever was in a small boy's head.
You remember that?"
I nodded that I did, wondering how it connected.
"Well,
then. We'd play a bit, you and me, move by move, and maybe I'd win, or maybe by some strange cleverness, " he winked and nodded at Yarrel, "some most exceptional cleverness, you'd win. And there on the board would be the lonely pawn, perhaps, or the sentinel on his castle walk, never moved once since the game began. True?"
Again, I nodded, beginning to understand.
"So. That piece was not touched by the edge of the game. It stood there and wasn't bothered by the armigers jumping here and there or churchmen rushing up and down. It's the same in the True Game, lad. Of course, in House they don't talk much about the times that Gamesmen don't play, but truth to tell much of life is spent just standing about or traveling here and there, like the little pawn at the side of the board. "
He was right. We didn't spend any time in House learning a thing about hot playing. All our time was spent in learning to play, learning what moves could be made by which Gamesmen, what powers each had, what conditions influenced the move, how to determine where the edge of a Demesne would lie.
"But even if they're hot involved in the play, " I protested, "surely they feel the power... "
" Tis said not, " he said. "No more than in the lands of the Immutables who stand outside the Game altogether. "
"Nothing is outside the Game, " I protested once more, with rather less certainty.
"Nothing but the Immutables, Lad, and they most unquestionably are. "
"I thought them mythical. Like Ghost Pieces. " Even saying it, I made the diagonal slash of the hand which warded evil. Chance cocked his head, his cheeks bulging in two little, hard lumps as he considered this, eyes squeezed almost shut with thought under the fluffy feathers of his gray hair. "No, not myth. And, it may be that ghost pieces are not mythical either. In the
Schooltowns many things are thought to be myths, as they may be-in Schooltowns. Out in the purlieus, though, many things happen which we do not hear of in the towns. Who knows what may be, where we are going. "
I remarked wonderingly that I did not know where we were going, and they laughed at me. Not as though they were amused, but more as if they would as soon have tied me up and used me for fish bait but allowed laughter as a more or less innocent substitute for that. I knew from their laughter they must have told me before, more than once. There was even slight annoyance in Yarrel's voice as he said, "We're sent to the School at Evenor, near the High Lakes of Tarnoch. " When he saw no comprehension, he went on, "Where the High King's sons are schooled, ninny. " I wanted very much to inquire why we went there but was hurt enough by the laughter to give them no room for more of the same. Where had I been those last days? Well, I knew where I had been, and there was no good sense in it.
Chance patted my shoulder kindly. "That's a'right, lad. King Mertyn said you'd suffer some from shock and from the painkillers they gave you for the burns. We'll welcome you back whenever you arrive. Now, try a little sleep to huffy things along. "
The next thing I remember after that is the sun, broken into glittering shards by the waves, and shouts of men on the fantail where they trolled for lake sturgeon.
Two enormous fish were already flopping on the deck surrounded by determined fish hackers. I knew they were after caviar, the black pearls of the Gathered
Waters, famous all over the purlieus of the South, so they say. Later that day we came to a little lakeport, and there was much heaving of sacks and cartons, much jocularity and beer. We ate in a guest house, grilled fish with sour herbs, lettuces, sweet butter, and new bread.
Chance and the kitchen wife became quite friendly; I had wine; the moon broke the night into pieces through the diamond panes of the window of our cabin. And the next morning I was myself.
The world had hard edges once more; there were no odd-shaped holes between one moment and the next; I began to think about where we were going and the process of getting there; I saw the lake, amazed at the extent of it. From Schooltown it had seemed. small enough, limited to the south by the line of little islands which made a falsely close and comforting shore. Out here, it had no edge but the horizon, a sparkling line which moved to stay always the same distance from us.
This world edge was furred with cloud, red in the rising sun. Our Captain stared into that haze, his face tilted to one wrinkled side as he considered. "I smell wind, " he announced. "Tyeber Town is but two hours down coast.
We'll go no farther than that today. "
He was wrong. The wind came up strongly to push us farther and farther into the lake, wallowing and heaving. Then, toward evening, when the wind began to abate, there was a singing twang and a shout from the helmsman. It seemed something essential had broken and our little ship could no longer steer itself. While
Chance and Yarrel slept, and I tried to, there was a clamor of feet and tools around and above us as the sailors tried to fix it. I went on to the deck to stare at the scudding clouds and saw there the bundled figure of the
Seer. He turned his featureless face to me and asked, through the gauze, if I were Peter, son of Mavin. I said no, I was Peter of Mertyn's House, without family. He stared at me long enough to make me uncomfortable, so
I went back to the narrow bunk and eventual sleep.
By morning the repair effort had succeeded, and we went wallowing away in a wind more violent than before, only to sight a black sail on the quivering horizon.
There were general cries of dismay.
"Pawners, " Chance cried out with the others.
"Would you believe it? Coastal boats don't get taken by pawners. "
"We're not coastal at the moment, " I pointed out.
This did not seem to comfort him. As the hours wore on the pawners drew closer across the wind-whipped waters, making our Captain give up his attempt to return to the western shore and turn instead to flee eastward before the black-sailed boat. Thus we sped away, like a fat wife running from a tiger, the slender black sail gaining upon us until the ship was within hailing distance.
"... oh, " the voice came. "... oy... ai... ame... eeter. " Chance and Yarrel looked at me in astonishment, and the Seer drew close enough to lay hand upon my arm.
" 'Ware, lad, " he said. "I see evil and agony in this.
'Ware, Captain. Do not believe what these men say. "
Around us the air grew chill, and we knew the Seer had drawn power making a little Demesne where we stood. I shivered, not entirely from the cold.
"They say they want only the boy named Peter, " said the Captain. "That if we give him up, they'll go away and leave us alone. I have little need of your warning,
Gamesman. Pawners are not to be believed. " I looked at the man with respect. He did not cringe or beg. He simply told us what the circumstances were and left it for us to respond. On impulse I took the spyglass from his hand to set it upon our pursuer. High upon her foredeck a cadaverous man leaned against the rail, another glass fixed upon us so that we looked, he and I, eye to eye. I could see the curve of his lip and the slant of black brow, altogether villainous, as why should he not be, being what he was. I whispered to the Captain, "What may we do?"
"There's a small fog coming up, lad. We can run on before him, for he closes slowly, waiting for it to get a bit dimmer, meantime calling back and forth with much misunderstanding. If the fates are willing, we may lose ourselves and run into the harbor of the Muties. "
"I might have known, " breathed Chance.
"Muties?" I asked.
"The Immutables, young sir. The one place that pawners might not follow. If they follow and catch us up, we are lost for we are outmanned. " Indeed, it was so. The black-sailed ship had twice our crew, young and strong. I nodded at the Captain, telling him by this to do as he thought best. You are thinking that I was quite mad? That would be a reasonable thought. At that moment none of us asked why such a ship should come out of the wind in search of me, an unnamed foundling boy, half-schooled and wholly unsatisfactory in his own
House. I did not say, "why me?" nor did Yarrel, nor
Chance. It was only
when the little wraiths of fog had grown into curtains and we had sneaked away among the velvet folds of mist, only when we heard a yell of fury from the other ship, bodiless and directionless in the half light, only then did I turn to Chance to say for the first time, "Why me? The Captain must have misunderstood. No one would come after me... "
To which the Seer, who had stood by us throughout the long flight, murmured, "You, none other, Lad. And the time will come when you will know why too well... "to drift away then, as I understand Seers often do, into a silent musing from which he would not be aroused.
I did not know why then. Moreover, I could not imagine why. There was an exercise frequently called for by
Gamesmasters when student attention flagged in the mid afternoon. They called it simply "imagining, " and the task was to imagine a series of moves at the end of which some extremely unlikely configuration of pieces might occur. I had never been good at it. Yarrel had been better. It was not surprising then, that by the time our pathetic fat ship waddled into the harbor of the
Sheri Tepper - Shapeshifter 01 Page 3
