That’s because everyone in the classroom is a LERKIAN!
Actually, I wasn’t standing in front of a classroom. I was sitting in front of my laptop, doing some coding. The screen was full of letters, numbers, and symbols. But I could practically see the little alien jerks on my screen. And they weren’t happy about being bossed around.
Aaliyah—formerly known as “CyberGirl03”—was with me, too. Over the past few weeks we’d been exploring good ol’ Rancho Verdugo, looking for new locations for possible Lerkian infestations. She’s pretty good at spotting them, I must say. (Then again, she’s lived here a lot longer than I have.)
Together we’ve been working on system improvements for the entire game. And you know who’s been a really great play tester? Our buddy Nick—you know, the guy formerly known as “Nick the Mimic.” He still doesn’t know that I designed Hecklr, but he’s always happy when I tell him there’s been a new update, and he’s always (and I mean always) eager to tell me what he thinks. It’s pretty great feedback.
Dad’s eased up about me and “screen time” and “electronic devices” and all that. And you know, I’ve eased up on my zero-tolerance policy concerning tossing a ball around outside in the punishing, crushing, life-withering heat of Rancho Verdugo. It’s kind of fun, actually. And sometimes, Aaliyah joins us.
All of which is great, because I’m hard at work on a new project. Improvements to the game are fine, but I’m thinking bigger. Bolder.
I’m thinking about taking Hecklr national. That’s right: coast to coast.
And maybe even someday we go international!
That’s right, Lerkian Empire. Wait until you see what I have in store for Hecklr version 2.0…
To be continued in…
UNBELIEVABLY
BORING
BARTHOLOMEW
GOES
HAWAIIAN!*
(*Note: probably not the real title of the next book. But Bart insisted. What can we say? The kid has Hawaii on the brain.)
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
JAMES PATTERSON received the Literarian Award for Outstanding Service to the American Literary Community from the National Book Foundation. He holds the Guinness World Record for the most #1 New York Times bestsellers, including Middle School, I Funny, and Jacky Ha-Ha, and his books have sold more than 380 million copies worldwide. A tireless champion of the power of books and reading, Patterson created a children’s book imprint, JIMMY Patterson, whose mission is simple: “We want every kid who finishes a JIMMY Book to say, ‘PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER BOOK.’” He has donated more than one million books to students and soldiers and funds over four hundred Teacher Education Scholarships at twenty-four colleges and universities. He has also donated millions of dollars to independent bookstores and school libraries. Patterson invests proceeds from the sales of JIMMY Patterson Books in pro-reading initiatives.
DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI is the Edgar-nominated and Anthony Award–winning author of Canary and Revolver. He’s also written for comic books, TV, and film.
JIMMY PATTERSON BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS
JAMES PATTERSON PRESENTS
Sci-Fi Junior High by John Martin and Scott Seegert
Sci-Fi Junior High: Crash Landing by John Martin and Scott Seegert
How to Be a Supervillain by Michael Fry
How to Be a Supervillain: Born to Be Good by Michael Fry
The Unflushables by Ron Bates
Ernestine, Catastrophe Queen by Merrill Wyatt
THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life
Middle School: Get Me Out of Here!
Middle School: Big Fat Liar
Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli, and Snake Hill
Middle School: Ultimate Showdown
Middle School: Save Rafe!
Middle School: Just My Rotten Luck
Middle School: Dog’s Best Friend
Middle School: Escape to Australia
Middle School: From Hero to Zero
THE I FUNNY SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
I Funny
I Even Funnier
I Totally Funniest
I Funny TV
I Funny: School of Laughs
The Nerdist, Wimpiest, Dorkiest I Funny Ever
THE TREASURE HUNTERS SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
Treasure Hunters
Treasure Hunters: Danger Down the Nile
Treasure Hunters: Secret of the Forbidden City
Treasure Hunters: Peril at the Top of the World
Treasure Hunters: Quest for the City of Gold
THE HOUSE OF ROBOTS SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
House of Robots
House of Robots: Robots Go Wild!
House of Robots: Robot Revolution
THE DANIEL X SERIES BY JAMES PATTERSON
The Dangerous Days of Daniel X
Daniel X: Watch the Skies
Daniel X: Demons and Druids
Daniel X: Game Over
Daniel X: Armageddon
Daniel X: Lights Out
OTHER ILLUSTRATED NOVELS AND STORIES
Max Einstein Saves Tomorrow
Dog Diaries
Not So Normal Norbert
Laugh Out Loud
Pottymouth and Stoopid
Jacky Ha-Ha
Jacky Ha-Ha: My Life Is a Joke Public School Superhero
Word of Mouse
Give Please a Chance
Give Thank You a Try
Big Words for Little Geniuses The Candies Save Christmas
Cuddly Critters for Little Geniuses
For exclusives, trailers, and other information, visit jimmypatterson.org.
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Unbelievably Boring Bart Page 9
