Caught In A Jam

by Lila Felix

  “Sorry, I was just…”

  “Don’t be sorry. I’m so incredibly happy that we’re on the same page this time. I may have a hard time bringing you home tonight.”

  I reached out, so unsure of how fast to go with this. I didn’t want to scare him off or make him think I was trying to go faster than he was comfortable with but the desire to touch him was too great to control. I took the hairs on his chin between my fingers.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking. You used to tell me everything and now I can’t read you at all.”

  I giggled a little and squirmed. “I’m just enamored by this incredible man you’ve become. I just wanted to touch you, make sure this is all still real.”

  “Come on; let’s get out of here before I show you just how real I am.” He pecked me on the lips and got out. I waited until he shut the driver’s side door before groaning in frustration.

  He opened my door, offering his hand to me. I took it and we went into the building and rode the elevator to the eleventh floor. When we got out of the elevator Nixon looked around the lobby before he spotted the guy he was looking for. They exchanged some kind of male, fist bumping, gesture and then the guy gave him a card for a room.

  Nixon looked at me and winked. He took my hand and led me across the lobby and down a hallway which led to another elevator. If he knew the sins that were brewing in my head every time we got into an elevator, he would stop bringing me into them.

  We got out at the penthouse and he produced the keycard out of his pocket. He opened the door and reclaimed my hand. He pulled me through the biggest hotel room I’d ever seen. My entire apartment could fit inside of the bedroom. We weaseled around the couches and out to the glass doors which led to the balcony. He slid the door open and waved me through. Another thing which hadn’t changed, he was still chivalrous.

  I walked out to the edge of the balcony and leaned over the edge. He came to stand beside me. Almost the entire French Quarter could be seen from this vantage point. The lights in Jackson Square illuminated the Saint Louis Cathedral so it looked more like the Magic Kingdom than church.

  “I’ve never seen it from here. You can’t smell the beer smell or hear the people complaining. It’s like a tourist postcard."

  We leaned over the balcony, side by side, content to people watch for nearly an hour before he broke our silent creeping.

  “Why did your mom lie to me?” He took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge where they rested.

  “Because she has some snotty idea about who I should be with even if he cheats and lies. It’s all about status with her. It always has been.”

  He replaced his glasses and blew out a breath. “And I don’t fit those ideals. I’m a single father who works in construction. But even when I was a kid I didn’t meet her standards.” He shrugged like it didn’t matter and I needed to make sure he knew it never mattered to me.

  “Are you with me or my mother? ‘Cause if this is all some plan to hook up with her, I can call her. She’s still up.”

  He turned with widened eyes, “Did you just spout off some snide remark at me? I’m seriously in pain over here because your mom will never approve of us and you’re cracking wise. And since when are you a smart ass?”

  “I became a smart ass when I got tired of people telling me what to do. And for the record, I could care less what my mother thinks of us. Because I hope there’s gonna be an ‘us’ for a long, long time.”

  He grabbed my waist. In one swift move, he had me perched on the ledge of the building and he was wedged in between my legs.

  “Nixon Black! I’m gonna fall.”

  He smiled at me, “I’m not ever gonna let you fall.”

  “But you’re missing the view.” I complained. But I had to admit, from this angle, I had perfect access to his scruffy face and could run my hands through his hair all I wished.

  “Oh, don’t make me feed you the line about the view of you being better than anything else. Darlin’, I just missed the hell out of you. And I had shut down some of my memories just to keep my sanity. But now that you’re here, the flood gates are open. I just need to hold you.”

  He leaned forward and put his forehead against my stomach. His hands ran up and down my back and after a few minutes stopped their journey on my behind. I didn’t care, we weren’t virginal kids. And Nixon could touch me anywhere he wanted.

  I reciprocated his touch. I ran my fingers down his neck, letting my fingernails gently scratch at his soft hair, right where his neck dipped in just a little. I outlined his ears between my forefinger and thumb and when I reached his earlobes he shuddered.

  “Mmmm, is that the spot,” I asked, surprising myself with my brazen question.

  “Any spot you touch is the spot.” I felt his hot breath through the fabric of my dress as his forehead rubbed a path up and down my stomach, my breathing became labored just thinking about him kissing me where his head was.

  “We better get out of here.” I whispered to him, though everything in me wanted to stay.

  “Yeah, we’d better. I’m thinking a hotel was the wrong place to bring you, regardless of my initial intentions.”

  “So, do I get to see you next week?” I knew he had to wait for a time when Scout was otherwise occupied but I couldn’t let this date end without some clue.

  “If I can find a way to come see you, even for a few minutes, would that be okay?” He pulled me closer to him. How could he ever think that wouldn’t be ok?

  “Nix, even five minutes would be better than nothing.”

  “Ok, hop down, beautiful, let’s go.”

  I walked behind him and when we passed the bed I joked, “Hurry Nixon, I feel a sin coming on.”

  That made him laugh. I’d forgotten that sound. It wasn’t just a sound his mouth made, it involved his whole torso as well, like his lungs enjoyed the comedy as well.

  “I missed that laugh.” I whispered, not necessarily wanting him to hear the desperation.

  He closed the door behind us and held my hand. We got into the elevator and he pressed our destination floor. I pretended to straighten my dress because what I really wanted to do would definitely be considered going fast. And though I’d changed my ways since Justin, Nixon was a whole other story. I’d wanted to jump him right there in the laundry room.

  I couldn’t look up at him. The regret of what I’d done to him snaked down my frame, locking me in place.

  “Journey, look at me. I’ve been imagining you in my head all these years, here with me, when I allowed myself the indulgence. I don’t want to waste a single second.” He ended his sentence stepping towards me and enclosing me between him and the elevator wall.

  “I’m all yours, Nixon. We have all the time in the world.” But it was too late; the proximity of us was setting off alarms in my body, begging me to indulge in what I’d never known until he kissed me the other night.

  “Tell me darlin’, forget all the time in the world and tell me what you want right now.”

  If I told him what I wanted right then, the elevator would’ve exploded, or at least caught fire.

  He bent a little lower, and I fiddled with the hem of his shirt until I found the belt loops on his jeans. I pulled once, hard and momentarily joined our hips. He sucked in a breath through his teeth, apparently I’d found another hot spot. I readied myself to pull him closer, because I knew if he kissed me, I would need him a lot closer than he was now.

  I opened my mouth to give him my answer and the bell rang, signaling us someone else was getting on the elevator. Nixon turned around swiftly and pulled me in front of him as an older couple came in. They gave us courteous smiles and chose their floor. I had tried to move to the side of Nixon to give them more room but he grabbed my hips and pulled me back against him. “Please just stay right there.”

  I immediately caught on to what was happening. A snort and then a giggle erupted from my mouth and turned into uncontrollable laughter. The older couple thought we were nuts, since half
way through my giggle fit, Nixon joined me, his tall frame shaking behind me. As soon as the doors opened on their floor, they bolted as fast as their geriatric legs would take them.

  We got in his truck and on the way home we talked about his job and my new one.

  “I never thought I’d be jealous of my own daughter but I am. She’s been spending all this time with you and she gets to see you every day.”

  I smiled and took his hand, “She loves bugs. I swear she’s gonna be an entomologist. I bought her some books on Amazon the other day. I should get them in this week.”

  “Ah, kissing up to the kid to get to me, nice.” He chuckled on the other side of the truck.

  “I bought them before you and I were together.”

  He shook his head, “That floors me, Journey. I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

  “That we’re together? I’ve been waiting to say it forever.”

  But I realized the callous of my words and backtracked. “I’m sorry, Nix. I feel like all I do is apologize to you. I know you’ve waited a lot longer for us than I have.”

  We arrived at my apartment and I watched him cross around the front of the truck and open the door for me. He looked around before letting me out, “Why are you always looking around like that?”

  He shrugged, “Well, there’s a whack job after my cousin’s wife and I put some dents in his face, so…”

  “Oh, ok. I wish I knew what he looked like so I could watch for you too.”

  He rolled his eyes and we walked slowly towards the door. When I reached it, I unlocked the door and I could feel his breath at my neck. “Ask me to come in, darlin’. Ask me to tuck you in bed and kiss you goodnight. That’s all, I promise, that’s all.”

  I turned around to face him. “Nixon, if I let you in, I might not let you out. And I want us to wait. If we’re gonna build this foundation, let’s make it solid before we move any further. Call me when you get home, ok?”

  He looked disappointed, “I will. I just want…” his phone began to play ‘My Girl’ to him. I laughed and waved him away. He pecked me quickly on the lips and started talking to her. It was Scout calling him from her cell phone. She had told me at school that he bought her a phone for when she spent the night somewhere else.

  From what Scout said, and what I’d seen of him, he was an excellent father. And didn’t that just make him sexier.

  Chapter 14

  Journey

  I loved going to work just to see Scout, she was a piece of him and I saw so much of him in her.

  “Some worms like to pee a lot,” Scout said as she wobbled down a balance beam. Every time her turn came up and she passed by me, she’d spout out some weird fact about worms or bugs.

  A few minutes and several kids later, the balance beam was forgotten in favor of the see-saws. But Scout hated the see-saws. She walked over and plopped down beside me on the beam and resumed her lesson.

  “Why do you say some worms like to pee a lot?” I always felt like the dummy and she was the teacher.

  “Their names tell us that they like to pee.” I shuffled theories and names through my mind trying to figure out what in tarnations she was talking about.

  “I don’t understand Scout. Give me an example.” She looked at me like the idiot I was and blew out an exasperated breath.

  “Milli-PEED, Centi-PEED, you know, the peeing worms.”

  I wanted to squeeze the life out of the kid for being so wrong and so brilliant at once. “Scout, pede means feet or legs. It’s spelled P-E-D-E, not P-E-E-D. Centi means one hundred, so centipede means…”

  “It has one hundred legs.” She answered confidently.

  “There you go. You should tell your dad about the peeing worms tonight. He might think that’s funny.”

  “I will. The bell is about to ring,” she shrugged.

  “How do you know?”

  “See Ms. Martha? When it’s time for the bell to ring she taps her wrist so Ms. Meredith can see her through the window. And then a few seconds later…”

  The bell rang and she winked at me—the kid actually winked at me and skipped into the building.

  I went back inside, after making sure all of the other kids were accounted for. I helped the kitchen staff prepare lunch and get the small cafeteria ready for lunch.

  Ms. Martha came into the kitchen frantically looking for someone when her eyes zeroed in on me, “Journey, Scout hurt herself and she’s asking for you.”

  I threw down what I was working on and followed her to the office where Ms. Meredith was holding a very pale, very unwilling Scout.

  “No, don’t touch it! Ms. Journey will help me.”

  “Here,” I took Scout from Ms. Meredith’s lap and inspected her hand, where blood was still seeping through the paper towels.

  “What happened,” I asked Scout more than the adults.

  “We were cutting out planets for a solar system mobile. They’re sharp.”

  Ms. Meredith chimed in, “Scout’s never used real scissors before. We should’ve given her the safety ones. We forget she’s so young sometimes.” I heard her but refused to look at anyone but Scout.

  “Scout, let me see it.” She opened her hand and the cut was pretty deep.

  “Did you call Nixon?” I asked a random adult.

  “No, not yet. Do we need to?”

  “Yes,” I continued to inspect the wound, “it’s pretty deep.”

  I pressed a new paper towel to her hand and she held onto me while they called Nixon. I wondered if anyone caught on that I’d just called Scout’s dad by his first name. Maybe they weren’t paying attention.

  “Are they gonna give me a shot?” Scout said against my shoulder.

  “I don’t know, sweetie. I don’t want to lie to you and tell you ‘no’.”

  “Ok,” she whispered.

  Twenty minutes later Nixon barreled in wearing grungy jeans and a khaki button down shirt and some brown leather boots. His beard was gone and so were his glasses—damned work. He wore the face of every concerned father.

  Scout rose up on cue, feeling her dad’s presence. “What happened, Button?”

  “I cut myself with big people scissors. I need the baby scissors.” She was actually disappointed in herself.

  “I bet we can find you something in between. But for now, let’s get you to the hospital. I wanna make sure you are ok.” He grabbed her from me and signed some form regarding the accident.

  Before leaving, he looked me dead in the eyes, “She’s gonna be ok.”

  I nodded. Every cell in my body demanded that I go with them. That I be there to make sure she was ok but I couldn’t. I walked back into the kitchen to finish scooping fruit cocktail into tiny bowls. I lined them up in trays. I served lunch to the kids like a robot, consumed with concern for her.

  I spent the time after lunch in a debate with myself about whether or not to text him. On one hand I wanted to but on the other, I knew I’d better refrain. He might still be in the emergency room with her. I helped the staff clean up the center, letting the labor dull my worry.

  I drove home, aching from mopping ten rooms. I hopped in the lukewarm shower and washed away most of the bleach smell though it still lingered in my nose. I settled on the couch with leftover chicken and dumplings from dinner with my parents the night before. Curled up with a blanket, I tried to pay attention to a book but it was in vain. I couldn’t think of anything but Nixon up there alone, and Scout, scared that someone would think she was a baby. And truth be told, I was angry with her teacher. Yes, she was smarter than some teenagers I knew, but she was still in a three year old body. They should’ve known better.

  I jumped up from my perch, grabbed my keys and my purse with a new goal: get Scout scissors to make her feel better.

  I bustled through the aisles of Target and found exactly what I needed. They were safety scissors but looked more like regular scissors. I got one in every color and grabbed a ‘Get Well Soon’ card and some little bandages with Hell
o Kitty on them along with some books and other stuff and headed in the direction of Nixon’s apartment. I put everything in a gift bag I’d bought and set it outside his door. His truck was outside, so when I got to the car, I called him.

  “Hey, I was just gonna call you. She’s watching Sam and Cat or something on TV. She’s fine. They didn’t put any stitches, just that Super Glue stuff. She’s going back to school tomorrow.”

  “I’m so glad. I was worried to death. I left her something outside your door. I know we decided that she couldn’t know.”

  I heard him walking and open the door. “Journey, come give it to her. Right now, you’re her teacher. It’s fine. Come in. I see you sitting in your car.”

  “Ok, hold on.” I hung up, untangled my hair with my fingers and wiped away invisible blemishes in the rear view mirror.

  I walked up the way to their home and saw him already standing in the doorway. I had to curb the urge to kiss the crap out of him, even though I’d just seen him two nights ago.

  “Hi,” he said, “Come in. She’ll be so happy. She’s kinda down on herself right now. And Daddy telling her the opposite is sometimes just not enough.”

  I winked at him, “I got this.”

  He shot me a look that said, “Sure, sure you’ve got this.”

  I grabbed the bag from him and walked into the living room. She sat on the couch, not laughing at something that to the computerized audience perceived was apparently really funny.

  “Hi Scout.” I said. She turned around, smiled and stood up on the couch.

  “Hi!” She looked around me, “Daddy, Ms. Journey is here!”

  “I know. She was worried about you, Button. She brought you a present.” Scout attempted to clap and then stopped; the wound on her hand had her attention again.

  I sat on the couch and she sat next to me. I pulled out the scissors. She didn’t say anything at first but then as I pulled out one of each color, I looked over and she beamed at me.

  “These don’t look like baby scissors.” She was pleased.

  “No, but they’re still safe. So you don’t cut yourself again.” She looked happy and then went back to upset fairly quickly.