Guy (indicating the envelope on the table) What about –? What shall I do with this? The money?
Rebecca That’s up to you, surely. Have fun with it, I should.
Guy I can’t accept it. Possibly.
Rebecca Don’t be so absurd.
Guy If I took it, that would be … it’d be …
Rebecca Well, suit yourself what you do with it. Only for heaven’s sake don’t leave it there. Or people might get the idea you were giving it to us. And that wouldn’t look good at all, would it?
Rebecca goes out. Guy stares at the envelope undecided. He half moves away. He stops. After a second or so he returns to the money. He takes it up and pockets it. As he does so, the lights change and we are back in the rehearsal room. Guy now changes into his basic Macheath costume. He is assisted in this by several of the women in the company who fuss round him. Amongst these are Hannah, Fay, Enid and Linda. All of these are in part, most, or all of their costume. The production is entering its final phase. From here on we are very conscious that the production is ‘lit’. While this activity ensues, silently, Bridget, also in costume for her role as Jenny Diver, sings.
Bridget
Before the Barn-door crowing,
The Cock by Hens attended,
His Eyes around him throwing,
Stands for a while suspended,
Then One he singles from the Crew,
And cheers the happy Hen;
With how do you do, and how do you do,
And how do you do again.
The other women sing with her at the chorus. As the song finishes, the lighting rehearsal continues. Guy remains midstage. The women and Mr Ames leave the stage. The rehearsal has apparently been delayed for technical reasons. Dafydd enters from the lighting box.
Dafydd Sorry, Guy. We’ll be underway pretty soon now. If nothing else blows up on us. (indicating the lighting box, confidentially) He’s slow, this electrician, though. Twenty minutes changing a colour. Unbelievable. I mean, why volunteer to light a show if you suffer from vertigo? He knew there’d be ladders. Man’s a half-wit, he should …
Another single light comes up on stage.
(calling to the box) Thank you, Raymond, that’s – that’s lovely. (standing in a vivid orange patch of light, to Guy) This look like firelight to you?
Guy (uncertainly) No. Not a lot.
Dafydd No, nor me. I’ll cut it later. Better leave it for now. It took him three hours to focus … (calling again) Yes, we’re wild about that, Raymond. We like it very much. (consulting his plan) Could I see your number 18 now, please? That’s my number 15, your number 18. Thank you. (to Guy) Haven’t even got the same bloody numbers, these plans … (as a light comes up) No, that’s number 17, Raymond. That’s your number 17. My number 12. The one I want to see is my number 15, your number 18.
Raymond (a distant voice) That is number 18 …
Dafydd What’s that? No, that’s number 17. My number 12. I don’t want number 17. I want number 18. My number 18, your number 15.
Raymond I haven’t got a number 15 …
Dafydd No, hang on, as you were. My number 15. Your number 18 … (Another lamp comes on.) No, no, that’s number 56. That shouldn’t even be bloody plugged up … Hang on, hang on. For God’s sake. I’m coming up, Raymond. And somebody, please open some doors. It’s sub-tropical in here …
Dafydd goes up to the lighting box. Guy, on his own, walks about the stage getting the feel of his costume and feeling slightly sick with nerves. He clears his throat and swings his arms. Hannah enters with the jacket of his costume.
Hannah (handing it to Guy) Here. That should be better.
Guy Thank you.
Guy puts on the jacket. There is an awkward formality between them.
Hannah Let me know if it’s still uncomfortable …
Guy No, no. This is perfect.
Dafydd (emerging briefly in the doorway of the lighting box) Try circuit 12 plugged into 22. 22, Raymond, 22. My … what the hell is it, it’s my auxiliary 96. Look, Raymond, next time you re-number the bloody patch field you might tell everybody else about it, will you …? (He goes inside again.)
Hannah Guy …?
Guy Yes?
Hannah Why haven’t you phoned?
Guy Oh, Hannah …
Hannah (moving to him) What is it? What have I done?
They stand together, instinctively clear of the lights and thus out of Dafydd’s view.
Guy Look, I’ve been … I’ve had all this on my mind, haven’t I? The play …
Hannah Is that more important than us?
Guy No, it’s … We’ve been together every evening, for God’s sake.
Hannah If you call that being together …
Guy Well, it’s been very difficult, Hannah. I’ve only had just over a week to learn the thing …
A brilliant light strikes them both as Raymond locates another circuit. Instinctively, they both move away.
Dafydd (emerging) That’s fine. Keep that one, don’t lose it. Now 27 and 28 should be paired … Let’s have a look at those. (muttering) Within the next 25 minutes if possible … (He goes in.)
Guy Look, there’s no point in discussing this now. We can’t decide anything in the middle of a –
Hannah (loudly) Well, when can we?
Two more lights illuminate them suddenly. Hannah and Guy look towards Dafydd.
Dafydd (emerging) Sorry, my loves, I’ll be with you in a minute. Try not to get impatient … (He goes.)
Hannah and Guy move out of the lights again.
Guy All right. If you want to talk about it, we will … OK. I think it’s all got to stop. All right? I think it’s been tremendous fun and I think you’re wonderful, but it simply has to stop.
Hannah (stunned) What are you talking about? Stop?
Dafydd (emerging) Perches one and two. Again, they should be paired … (He goes.)
Hannah Why? Why?
Guy Well. For one thing, Dafydd …
Hannah Dafydd?
Guy Yes.
Hannah Who the hell cares about Dafydd?
More lights come up on them again.
Dafydd (emerging again) I don’t like the look of those two.
Hannah and Guy move again.
Lose them. Give me the other side. Perches 7 and 8, I think. (He goes.)
Hannah What’s Dafydd got to do with anything?
Guy Hannah, Dafydd has everything to do with everything. He is your husband and he’s my friend. And if I felt that I was responsible for your leaving him …
Hannah I’m leaving him anyway, whether you stay or not, so that has nothing to do with it …
A light, this time illuminating them brilliantly from the knees downwards. Guy and Hannah both jump instinctively.
Guy (irritably) Get away …
Dafydd (emerging) Well, those are no earthly use at all, Raymond. They’re lighting his socks. He’d have to be a midget. What do you think we’re doing, Snow White? FOH 4 then. Let’s try that … (He goes.)
Hannah No, I know exactly what you’re doing. You’re using Dafydd as an excuse to ditch me, that’s all …
Guy That just isn’t true …
More lights come, replacing the others. Guy and Hannah are clear of them.
Hannah Don’t try and pretend to me that you’d consider Dafydd for one single moment …
Dafydd (calling) I say, you two …
Hannah … if it didn’t suit you. It didn’t worry you two weeks ago …
Dafydd (calling) I say, you two –
Guy I think he wants us …
Hannah (angrily) Yes?
Dafydd (coming onstage) Sorry. Were you running lines? Look, just to save time, would you mind standing for me? I just want to check this focus.
He moves Guy and Hannah into the lights.
Just move into that one, that’s right … Bit further forward, Hannah. Thank you. Just hold it there.
Dafydd moves away into the auditorium to check the effect.
Hannah (as he goes, muttering) Feeblest excuse I have ever heard in my life …
Dafydd Hannah, dear, be Annie Anderson for a minute, would you? She’s a little taller than you – can you just go up on your toes?
Hannah goes up on tiptoe.
Bit more. Thank you.
Hannah (awkwardly) I would have preferred it if you’d been honest and said another woman …
Dafydd Guy, my love … Hannah Which, of course, it is.
Dafydd Guy, could you go down to Tony Mofitt’s size? Would you mind …?
Guy crouches low.
Guy About there?
Dafydd Fine. Just hold it. (He considers for a second.) No, that’s not going to work, Raymond. Show me something else …
During the next, a number of lamps flash on and off the contorted pair, as Raymond offers Dafydd, who is pacing the auditorium, alternative light sources. Dafydd rejects each in turn.
Hannah (on the verge of tears again, softly) I was prepared to give up everything for you, you know …
A lamp comes on.
Guy (softly) I know, I know …
Dafydd (calling) No.
Hannah (softly) My home, my marriage, even my children …
The light goes off and another comes on.
Guy (softly) I don’t think you were, Hannah, not if it came to it.
Dafydd (calling) No …
Hannah (softly) I meant every single thing I said to you …
The light goes off and another goes on.
Guy (softly) I meant everything I said, too …
Dafydd (calling) No. Not in a million years …
Hannah (softly) You were playing around with Fay and – God knows who else. You used me, Guy …
The light goes off and another goes on.
Guy (louder) That is a lie –
Dafydd (calling) Yes! That’s it … What number’s that?
Dafydd rejoins them onstage to check his plan. Hannah lets out an involuntary moan of misery.
(looking up at them) Oh sorry, relax, loves. Sorry. Thanks for your help. (He resumes his task.)
A sob from Hannah as they relax their positions. During this Mr Ames returns, now in all but full costume.
Guy Hannah …
Dafydd What’s the matter with her?
Guy Er …
Dafydd (peering at her) You daft halfpenny, you been staring into lights again, haven’t you? How many times do I have to tell you? Shut your eyes, girl …
Dafydd cuffs her affectionately. He moves away towards the lighting box.
Guy (imploring) Hannah …
Hannah (deeply miserable) Oh, Guy …
Dafydd Now, let me see with that added to it, the state of cue 54 C … (He goes back into the lighting box.)
Hannah I do love you so much, Guy …
Guy I love you, Hannah …
Music starts under. As it does a rather romantic light setting comes up. Presumably Cue 54 C.
Hannah (sings, as Polly)
O what Pain it is to part!
Can I leave thee, can I leave thee?
O what Pain it is to part!
Can thy Polly ever leave thee?
But lest Death my love should thwart,
And bring thee to the fatal Cart,
Thus I tear thee from my bleeding Heart!
Fly hence, and let me leave thee.
Guy (sings with her, as Macheath)
But lest death my love should thwart (etc.)
As the song is ending, Hannah runs from the stage. Guy is left standing miserably. The last notes cut off as the lights resume a more natural state.
Dafydd (re-emerges, calling back behind him) Save that now, Raymond. Save it and replug for the top of the show. God, I think we’re there (comes down on to the stage) Sorry, Guy. You’ve been wonderfully patient. Thank you.
Guy Dafydd …
Dafydd Yes, my love …
Guy I feel I do have to talk to you about something …
Dafydd Oh, yes? (calling) Give me the workers, would you, Raymond? And will someone on stage management bring me the A ladders …? Yes. Sorry, Guy. What’s the problem?
Guy Well – it’s a ridiculous time to say it but …
The lights switch to working lights.
Dafydd (yelling) Thank you. (staring up at the spot bar) I’m going to take this frost out of here, Raymond. I hate it. Passionately. I can’t live with a frost up here, I’m sorry … (Aware that Guy is still with him, drawing him aside, quietly) Guy. Just let me say this. You’re going to be sensational, boy. No doubt of it. Just do what you’ve been doing in rehearsal. The audience are going to lift your game, anyway. You’re home and dry …
During the last, a couple of the stage management now in costume have brought Dafydd the ladders, which they set up for him.
Guy Dafydd, it’s not the show I’m talking about …
Dafydd (indicating the ladders) Would you steady this, I just want to alter something. Ta.
Dafydd shins up the ladders. Guy steadies them reluctantly.
(from the top of the ladders) Now’s your chance to get our own back. Tip me off if you want to.
Guy (wearily) I don’t want to do that, Dafydd.
Guy Ah well, all I can say is, it’s a good job it’s you down there. There’s a whole committee of them back there would do it with pleasure.
Jarvis comes on from backstage with part of his costume on.
Jarvis Hey! Is this right?
Dafydd (barely glancing) Great, Jarvis. Knockout.
Jarvis These aren’t the right trousers, of course … (He indicates his everyday trousers.)
Dafydd No, no, obviously. It’s burnt out, this. (He examines the frost he has recently removed from the lamp.)
Jarvis Nor do they appear to have sent me any boots. The girl’s having a look …
Dafydd Oh, dear …
Jarvis I asked specifically for boots. I wanted some boots. The man’s a gaoler, he’d have boots. He’d never have shoes, not in a gaol …
Dafydd Don’t worry, Jarvis, we’ll find you some boots, don’t worry …
Jarvis Well, I’m not playing him in shoes, that’s all. I need to find some boots …
Jarvis goes off. Dafydd has come down the ladders.
Dafydd It would help if he found his bloody lines for a kick off. (yelling) Finished with the ladders! (showing Guy the frame) Warped. Look at that, eh?
He starts to move back towards the lighting box. As Dafydd does so, Ian, dressed in his street clothes, strolls in. He carries the evening paper.
(as he goes, to Ian) What time’s this, then? What time’s this?
Ian (rather aggressively) Not on till Act Two, am I?
Dafydd Fair enough. Fair enough.
Ian (to Guy) Seen the paper, then?
Guy No. I’ve not really had time.
Ian All over the front page. I shouldn’t think it’d be much of a surprise to you … There you are. Closure Shock, (to Dafydd) BLM’s closing …
Dafydd What’s that?
Ian (holding up the paper) BLM. Closing down …
Rebecca has entered and stands listening.
Dafydd Closing down?
Ian That’s what it says … 500 jobs gone.
Dafydd Oh dear, oh dear …
Ian They’re relocating 130 …
Guy One hundred and twenty-eight actually.
Ian Oh, you did know then?
Guy Oh, yes.
Ian I bet you bloody did. Don’t miss a trick, do you?
Rebecca How long have you known this?
Guy Since I found the note on my desk this morning. Along with most of us. (looking at them) It’s true.
Ian (moving away) I believe you, sunshine …
Guy It’s true …
Ian Sure, sure, sure … (He goes.)
Guy (angrily after him) If it makes you feel any better, I don’t happen to have been included in the hundred and twenty-eight …
Rebecca I’m hardly surprised …
(to Dafydd, indicating her costume) Do you think this is all right, Dafydd? Since I’m bound to be standing behind some huge tree or something it probably doesn’t matter, anyway.
Dafydd That’s super, Beccy, super …
Rebecca You actually like it?
Dafydd It’s just right.
Rebecca (moving off) Oh, well. It’s your production, darling. If you’re expecting laughs, you won’t be disappointed, will you? (to someone offstage as she goes) I told you he would. He likes it …
Rebecca goes off.
Dafydd (yelling) Come on. Let’s get underway. How are you doing, Raymond? Dare I ask? (He walks into the A ladders.) I have requested these ladders be moved. Why haven’t they? Bridget, somebody. Please.
Dafydd has moved back to Guy who sits very miserable in one corner of the stage. Bridget enters briskly. Dafydd goes to perch on a table to chat to Guy.
Guy, I’m desperately sorry to …
Bridget whisks the table from under Dafydd. Dafydd sits wearily beside Guy.
I’m desperately sorry to hear all this, Guy. I really am. Is that what you wanted to tell me, just now? God, I’m sorry. It’s just like I said, isn’t it? Here we are, playing around with pretty lights and costumes held together with safety pins. Out there it’s all happening, (more positively) You’ll be OK. I know you will. Don’t despair, old friend. (He clasps Guy affectionately round the shoulders.) Excuse me, I’m going to have to light a few fireworks back there …
Dafydd goes off. The stage managers have returned and are moving the ladders off. Fay comes on with Guy’s wig and a small mirror.
Fay (handing these to Guy, coolly) Here.
Guy Oh, thank you so much …
Fay She’s done what she can with it …
Guy (busying himself, examining the wig) This is fine. Absolutely fine.
Fay You must be feeling pretty pleased with yourself.
Alan Ayckbourn Plays 1 Page 9
