John nodded. “The tests may show up something else completely. You just need to be prepared.”
Ellie nodded, unable to speak.
“How long will the tests take to come back?” Joe asked for her.
“Only a day or two for the bloods, about five days for the biopsy—we’ll have to send the sample off to the lab. I’ll call when I hear anything.” John went to the door.
“Thank you,” Ellie whispered.
John left the stable. Ellie found she couldn’t move.
“Ellie?” Joe said quietly. A sob burst from her.
“Oh, Ellie.” She turned blindly into him. Joe’s arms tightened around her. Behind, she heard Spirit snort in confusion, but she was incapable of turning to him, incapable of doing anything but crying as all the fears that she’d been trying to ignore over the last week finally rose up and overwhelmed her. All she had lost in the last ten months filled her head—her mom, her dad, her old life in New Zealand. She couldn’t lose Spirit as well.
Joe stroked her back. She rested her head against his chest, slowly regaining control, feeling his damp T-shirt under her cheek.
“It’ll be OK,” he whispered. “It will. You know it will.”
Ellie forced herself to believe him. It would be OK. Luke’s words from earlier echoed through her head:
Spirit’s tough. He was right. Spirit had been through so much. He would be fine.
There was a shout from the yard. “I’ll tell the others and keep them away for the moment,” Joe said. “You stay here.”
“Thanks.” More than anything right then, Ellie wanted to talk properly to Spirit, to hear his voice.
Joe left and she rested her head against Spirit’s forehead, shutting her eyes and reaching out to him with her thoughts. Spirit?
The energy change was swift. She felt their thoughts merge.
I’m here.
Ellie stroked his neck, her eyes closed still. You’re sick, maybe really sick.
Yes.
His simple acceptance brought the tears to her eyes again. Why didn’t you say?
Because there is nothing you can do.
Spirit!
He didn’t say anything else. She probed deeper into his feelings, looking for anxiety, worry, panic. But instead all she found was a feeling of deep calm.
Aren’t you scared? she asked.
No. She could feel his surprise now.
But… She could hardly bring herself to think it, but she had to. But you might have cancer—you might die.
As she voiced the thought, she felt sick.
I’m here now. We must walk in the present. The simplicity of his thought was clear. She opened her eyes. All that mattered to him was that he was here now and so was she. She hugged him, not knowing quite what to say, comforted by his calm, but also with a million questions and fears buzzing around in her head.
If you are really sick, I’ll help you, she promised him. I’ll do everything I can.
I know. You always do. He nuzzled her and Ellie’s heart clenched painfully as she saw the absolute trust in his eyes.
Chapter Six
WHEN ELLIE LEFT the stable, she felt calmer, determined. She went into the house to change out of her school clothes. Her uncle was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Luke and Joe. He broke off as she came in. “John’s told me about that gray of yours,” he grunted.
Ellie didn’t want to talk about it—least of all with her uncle. She saw Joe and Luke both give her a look of sympathy.
“So, the tests will be back in a few days then?”
She nodded.
“You’ll decide what to do then.”
“Decide?” Ellie realized what her uncle meant. “You mean decide whether to put him to sleep or not?” Her voice rose.
Len huffed out a breath. “Well, you’re not going to keep a dying horse, are you?”
“Dad!” Joe protested.
Len looked surprised. “What?”
“Don’t say things like that. Spirit might not have cancer anyway.”
Len pointed at Ellie. “There’s no point pussyfooting around this. If that horse of hers isn’t going to get better, then he’s going to have to be shot.”
“Spirit’s isn’t going to be shot!” Ellie struggled to control her anger.
“It’ll be the only thing for it. Put him out of his misery. The sooner, the better.”
Ellie’s temper snapped. “What? Just give up on him? Like you did on Merlin, you mean? No. Even if Spirit has cancer I’m not having him shot. I’m not like you!”
Len pushed his chair back, his face darkening. “I won’t be spoken to like that.”
“Well, then don’t talk about Spirit,” Ellie shouted. “You’ve got no say in what happens to him. No say at all so keep out of it!”
“That’s enough! Be quiet!” Len roared.
“Or what?” Ellie retorted furiously. “You’ll hit me like you’d hit Joe?”
Ellie heard Joe’s intake of breath and was aware of Luke leaping to his feet.
Len’s fists clenched but Luke was suddenly in front of her. “Len! She’s a fourteen-year-old girl and she’s upset. Don’t be stupid!”
Len and Luke stared at each other, the air bristling between them. Ellie was reminded of the moment of stillness before two dogs fight.
A sob burst out of her. The sound punctured the tension and both Len and Luke seemed to breathe out. Luke took a half-step back so he was beside Ellie, his eyes still on Len. Len watched him for a moment, his fists relaxing. Ellie could see the rage fading from his face, sense returning to him.
As if in mutual agreement, they both turned away. Ellie just wanted to get out of there. She could feel hot tears at the back of her eyes and she didn’t want to cry in front of her uncle. She swung around and ran through the door to the hall.
“Ellie!” she heard Joe’s voice.
“Don’t you dare go after her!” Len ground out. Ellie wondered for a moment if Joe would defy Len, but he didn’t. She ran up the stairs and didn’t hear any more. Reaching her bedroom, she shut the door and sank down against it, her face in her hands as she gave way to the tears.
“I’m sorry to hear about Spirit.” Helen came over to her with Sasha when Ellie eventually returned to the yard, her face washed but her eyes still red. “Joe told us what John said.”
“Yeah,” Sasha added. “Hopefully, the tests will come back OK and it’ll just be something minor, Ellie.”
“Thanks.” The two grooms’ concern for Spirit made her uncle’s lack of sympathy stand out even more. Even Sasha looked genuinely worried for her.
“You’ve got Gem and Picasso to ride tonight, haven’t you?” said Helen. “We’ve groomed them for you. You just need their tack.”
Ellie smiled gratefully. “Thanks.”
She went to fetch Picasso’s saddle and bridle. Luke was in the tackroom, taking a saddle off a rack. She stopped awkwardly when she saw him, remembering the scene in the kitchen.
“How are you doing?” he asked her.
“OK,” she answered automatically, then swallowed. “Well, you know.”
He nodded. “I hope Spirit’s OK.”
“Thanks. And thanks for earlier. I kind of lost it.” Ellie sighed.
“Anyone would. Len can be a real…” Luke broke off. “Just don’t make a habit of yelling at him like that—at least if I’m not there.”
As she looked into his eyes, she felt suddenly comforted. “I won’t have Spirit shot.”
“Let’s just hope he’s all right, that the tests show something that can be cured.” Luke smiled. “I’d put money on the fact that if anything can be done to help him, you’ll do it.”
Ellie thought the days before hearing the test results would never pass. Everyone on the yard, apart from her uncle, was supportive. Even Sasha helped her with her other chores so Ellie would have more time with Spirit. Sasha had already started seeing a new boyfriend, and from what Ellie overheard her saying to Helen, she reall
y liked him. So, although Sasha was still cool with Luke, she wasn’t too angry or upset.
Ellie spent every second she could with Spirit, grooming him, hand-feeding him, leading him out down the lane to graze on the bank of lush grass there. She was up early every morning and often stayed out in the stables until ten o’clock, only coming in when the light finally faded. Even the arrival of the mare Fern and her three-week-old foal on the yard didn’t distract her.
Fern was the mare Len had sold to his friend Bob. Now Bob’s horses were all being sold off, Len had bought her back at half the price and so was very pleased with his deal.
“What’s the foal called?” Ellie asked Joe as they walked past the mare and foal’s paddock on the day they arrived.
“Her show name’s Oakmist Fantasia. She doesn’t have a stable name yet. We’ll have to think of one. Dad will probably just call her ‘the foal’ for now.”
Ellie watched the foal trotting around in circles. She was gorgeous. She had a fluffy chestnut coat and a sticking-up, cream-colored mane and short tail. Her legs were long and gangly like Bambi’s, her dark eyes large. Seeing Ellie and Joe, the foal halted and stared at them, her tiny ears pricked, her expression full of intelligence.
As Ellie looked at her face, a prickle ran over her skin. For a moment, she felt drawn to the foal, almost like she had to Spirit when she had first met him. The filly’s eyes met Ellie’s, but then she tossed her head and wheeled away, kicking up her heels almost defiantly.
“She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?” Joe said.
“Yeah.” Ellie frowned and then shook her head, dismissing the feelings. Of course she wanted to look at the foal—all foals were cute and this one was particularly pretty.
“Look at her fan club,” Joe said, nodding to where the geldings were watching from the fence. They were all staring adoringly at the filly. Gem in particular looked besotted. He was hanging his head over the top rail, his eyes goofy as he watched the little foal who was now showing off, prancing around in front of him.
“She’s going to be a character,” Joe said. “When she came out of the horsebox, she was really wary of everyone. She wouldn’t leave Fern’s side and she even tried to kick Stuart, but since she’s been out in the field she’s started relaxing. Mind you, she still doesn’t want to come near any human. I don’t think she’s been handled much at all.”
“The journey must have been really upsetting for her as well,” Ellie said, thinking how it must have seemed through the filly’s eyes. She wouldn’t have known where she was going or what was happening. If the only contact she’d had with humans since she’d been born was being forced into a horsebox, it was no wonder she was feeling wary of people.
Joe nodded. “Hopefully, she’ll settle down soon. Fern’s lovely. She’s won loads of lightweight working hunter classes. She could have been a show jumper, I reckon. Dad’s really pleased to have her back and to have her foal. She should make a really good brood mare if this filly’s anything to go by.”
Ellie glanced again at the foal, but then she remembered Spirit. How was he? She caught him and brought him in from the field. Once he was in his stable she checked him over, her heart sinking. He still had the lumps on his chest; they seemed bigger and the swelling on his tummy had grown too.
The next morning, she had a phone call from John before she went to school. The results of the blood tests were back. They showed anemia and a high white blood cell count, which John said didn’t look good but still didn’t prove anything definite. They had to wait for the biopsy results, which would not be through until Monday.
It was a long weekend for Ellie. She had to help her uncle at a show on Sunday, although none of the ponies she rode were competing. She wanted to stay with Spirit, but there was no way she would be allowed to miss it. Thankfully, there was so much to do she didn’t have time to think about Spirit much. Joe was riding Wisp and his working hunter pony, Barney, and two of the livery horses were also going: Darcey and Willow who were owned by clients of Len. Ellie hoped she and Joe would be able to sit and talk in the horsebox on the way there—she’d been so busy with Spirit she hadn’t seen much of Joe all week, but Len made Joe sit in the cab with him.
Ellie noticed more and more as the day went on that Len was keeping them apart, or making sure he was around if they were together.
The only time he left them alone was when Ray arrived at the show and Len went for a drink with him mid-afternoon after most of the classes his ponies were entered in had finished. Joe and Ellie sat on the ramp of the box, chatting. It was just great to be together. Len came back, looking like he was in a good mood.
“I want a word with you, Joe.”
“Sure,” Joe said, looking at him expectantly.
“On your own.”
Ellie shrugged. “I’ll go and check what class is on.” There was just the Intermediate Championship that
Joe had qualified Wisp for still to go. She left them to it.
When she returned, Joe was preparing Wisp for the championship while Len sorted some things out in the living accommodation. “So what did your dad want to talk to you about?” Ellie asked curiously.
“Nothing,” Joe muttered.
“Nothing?”
“Well, something.” Joe shook his head. “We can talk about it later.” Ellie saw that he looked really unhappy.
“Are you OK?” she asked in concern.
“I really can’t talk about it now. The championship will be starting soon. Can you finish Wisp off while I change?”
“Sure.” Ellie frowned and watched him go into the living accommodation. What was going on? What had Len said to him? He’d been fine before.
She got Wisp ready, repainting his hooves, tightening his girth and running a cloth over his sleek sandy coat, still puzzling about it.
Joe seemed distracted throughout the championship and Wisp played up, cantering on the wrong leg and tossing his head. He wasn’t chosen as champion or reserve. However, to Ellie’s astonishment, Len seemed fairly philosophical. “Never mind. Another time,” he said as Joe came out.
Joe nodded and dismounted.
“Guess you had a bit on your mind, lad.” Len nodded at Ellie. “So, have you told her then?”
“No.”
“Told me what?” Ellie demanded.
Len met her gaze. “Joe’s going to Canada.”
“Canada?” Ellie stared in surprise. “For a vacation?”
Len folded his arms, satisfaction clear on his face. “No, to live.” He took in her astonishment. “He’s going to work for Ray for a year, aren’t you, lad?”
Joe gave a brief nod, his eyes on Ellie. He looked desperate.
Ellie’s head spun. No. Joe couldn’t go. She needed him, particularly now. “When?” she whispered.
“Three weeks, just as soon as his exams finish,” pronounced Len.
Ellie felt as if the ground had abruptly vanished from under her feet.
“Right, let’s take this pony back to the trailer,” Len said, starting to lead Wisp away.
“I’m just getting a drink from the cafe,” said Joe, shooting a look at Ellie.
“Me too,” she said quickly.
And before Len could stop them, they had set off across the show ground together. “Hey! Come back here!” he shouted, but they quickly lost themselves in the crowd.
As soon as they were safely away, Ellie grabbed Joe’s arm. “You can’t go!”
“I don’t want to, Ellie,” he protested. “But Dad’s sorted it all out with Ray today.”
“Well, make him unsort it. Tell him you won’t leave.”
“I tried. I even asked if I could wait a bit, maybe go next year or after the summer—I don’t want to leave while Spirit’s so ill—but he says I have to go as soon as possible.”
“Why?”
A blush spread across Joe’s cheekbones. “Because…because of you.”
“Me?”
“Well, us. He thinks there’s something going on a
nd, you know, with us being cousins and stuff it’s freaking him out.”
Ellie hit her head with her hands. “But there isn’t anything happening!”
“He won’t believe it. I tried to tell him, but you know what Dad’s like—he gets a bee in his bonnet about something and he just won’t listen. He’s convinced of it.”
Ellie stared at him. “Well, we’ll make him believe it. He can’t just send you away. You can’t go.”
Joe looked at her helplessly. “I have to. He’s made up his mind.”
“So?” Ellie exclaimed. “Fight him! Refuse to go!”
“I can’t!” Joe’s voice rose.
“You can! Please!” Tears sprang to her eyes. “I need you to stay here.”
She saw the conflict written across his face and suddenly she knew there was nothing she could say to change things. She could see it in his eyes. He wasn’t going to fight. Her anger was replaced by a feeling of deep despair. She couldn’t imagine not having Joe to talk to and hang around with.
“I’ll email. Call. And I’ll be back in a year’s time. It’s not forever.”
Ellie swallowed. “Yeah. Whatever.” She looked away, hoping he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. “We should buy that drink.”
“Don’t be mad at me,” he beseeched.
“Well, don’t go then!” Wrapping her arms tightly across her chest, she marched to the cafe. Joe sighed and followed her without saying another word.
Ellie was glad she was by herself in the horsebox on the way home. She needed time to think. Although she couldn’t bear the thought of Joe leaving, through her despair there was another little voice filtering in. Joe would have an amazing time in Canada, she was sure. He certainly needed to be away from his dad. He wouldn’t be bullied any more, shouted at, put down. Ray would teach him so much. He’d always wanted to work on a yard where they used natural horsemanship techniques. It’s a good thing for him, she told herself.
But what about me?
Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself of all the times Joe had helped her and been there for her since she’d arrived at High Peak Stables and she pushed down her anger and misery. She mustn’t be mad with him and make him feel awful. As they left the motorway and headed up into the mountains, Ellie came to a decision. Even though part of her felt hurt and betrayed that Joe wouldn’t fight it, she was going to try and be unselfish. It was going to happen whether she liked it or not and seeing as Joe was her best friend, she would try to be supportive however hard it was.
Hopes Page 6
