“I’m impressed,” Kara said. “You’ve made a great life for yourself, despite your circumstances.”
Honor shrugged as she picked up a cracker. “Nothing like poverty to motivate you.”
“Yes. And having no other choice but to make things happen, despite everything.”
“Exactly.” Honor munched on her cracker and looked over at Kara. “What about you? What’s your story? Brody says you’re an enigma.”
“An enigma?”
“Yeah. He says you have a big secret.”
Kara swirled her wine, thinking of a response. “I’m private about my past. That’s all.”
“He’s paranoid because of what happened with Samantha. Did he tell you about that?”
Kara nodded. “She sounds psychotic.”
“She was the worst. I would give anything to beat the crap out of her. Unfortunately, I’d go to jail.”
“I can’t imagine how anyone could live with themselves after that,” Kara said.
“Yeah, me either. And Brody, honestly, wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t see it coming. For one thing, he was thrust into fame almost overnight. The minute he started winning games for San Francisco, he was bombarded with fans and women and so-called friends. Plus, he grew up so sheltered from anything bad. Great family, great looking, super talented. I mean, what does he know of trouble, right?”
“He does now,” Kara said.
“Exactly. That’s why he’s so particular about his inner circle. The fact that he trusts you even though you’re private about your past says a lot. This may surprise you, but there’s a lot of nasty people out there,” Honor said.
“It wouldn’t surprise me. I worked in the trauma unit in a major hospital for eight years. I saw the worst of humanity.” Not to mention my father’s a criminal.
“I bet you’ve seen some bad stuff,” Honor said. “My goal in life was to not be one of those people who ended up in your hospital.”
“You’ve done well with little. You should be proud.”
“Thanks, but you know, survival and all that.” Honor filled their glasses. “So, what about you? Do you miss your old life at all?”
“Sometimes.”
“Well, whatever brought you here, I’m glad you’re here.” Honor stood and ambled over to the window. “Sometimes I stand here at night and watch the ships or the way the moonlight shines on the water and I can’t believe I live here.”
“I’d never seen the Pacific Ocean until I moved here. I had no idea it would be this pretty on the west coast.”
“I have a question for you.” Honor turned back to look at her. “I’m going to step way over a boundary here, just fair warning.”
“Go for it,” Kara said.
“Is there anything brewing between you and Brody?”
“Brewing?” She pretended she didn’t understand what Honor was asking. She knew. How she knew. Was it that obvious she had feelings for him?
“I see the way he looks at you,” Honor said.
Kara swallowed. “You do?” How does he look at me?
“Yeah, this is going to sound really weird, so bear with me. But it’s a combination of how he looks at his mother, Flora, and me, only he’s attracted to you. He adores Flora and wants to protect her; he admires his mother and wants to live up to her standards. With me, he feels safe and understood and that I always have his back. With you, it’s like all those feelings combined, only he’s obviously smitten with you. I swear, I can see the spark every time you guys are together. I know it probably sounds insane, but I get feelings about stuff sometimes, and I have a feeling about the two of you. I just hope he doesn’t mess it up by being a skittish jerk, which, trust me, he’s quite capable of.”
“I work for him. It’s not appropriate.” She could not allow herself to be lulled into the idea that it was possible to have a relationship with him. He was famous. To be with him was a death sentence. She knew this. Why then, did she allow herself this momentary daydream? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Yeah? Well, I’ve caught you looking at him the same way.”
“I admit I’m attracted to him, but nothing can come of it,” Kara said.
“I’m not one for flowers and hearts and all that junk, but there’s something special between you two, and I wanted to tell you that he’s going to try and push you away, but you have to ignore that because it’s not really what he wants. He’s just afraid to get involved after his last experience. He says it’s because of football, but that’s bull. Down deep Brody’s just a softie with a huge, huge heart. Despite the fact that he could lift a truck, he’s idealistic. He’s looking for what his parents had. So, I just wanted to say my piece, even though it’s Fenway Park out of the boundaries of proper etiquette. But I love that guy more than anyone in the world, and I want him to be happy.”
“At first, I thought you two might be together. I saw you hugging that one day.”
“What?” Honor scrunched her face up in horror. “That’s so gross.”
Kara laughed.
“No, it’s not Brody I’m lost over,” Honor said. “I have problems of my own.”
“Zane?”
Honor stared at her. “How did you know?”
“Same reason you know about Brody.”
“So, wait a minute.” Honor plopped back onto the couch. “Let me get this straight before we go on to me. You do have feelings for him too?”
“Yes. But, it’s not a good idea.” She hesitated. The almost truth. “I have some things in my past...secrets...that I can’t share with anyone. And Brody’s a man of integrity. He’s a man who’s been lied to in the past, and I can’t do that to him. I can’t entertain a relationship with him when I can’t tell the whole truth about who I am.”
“Do you think any relationship is without secrets? Trust me, if every happily married couple knew every detail of their spouse’s past, no one would stay married. Some things need to stay in the past. There’s stuff that went down in my life that I’ll never share with another living soul. Does that mean I shouldn’t be in a relationship?” She stopped and took a sip of wine. “Actually, in my case, it probably should mean that. But, in your case, whatever it is doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love with Brody.”
Kara was so stunned by the entire conversation, she wasn’t sure what to say next. Was Honor right? Did everyone keep secrets from their lovers? But hers was so big. Hers was an entire life that she had to pretend never happened. Her secret could cause her own death.
“Will you at least keep an open mind?” Honor asked.
“I don’t know.” I do know. I can’t. I cannot get involved with Brody Mullen. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t and continue to live without fear of detection. Anyway, Honor was reading too much into the physical attraction that Brody felt for her. It was merely that and the fact that he’d been alone for too long. Change the subject.
“What’s going on with you and Zane?” asked Kara.
“Well, let’s see if I can sum it up. I’ve had a crush on him from the time I was eighteen years old. He came home for a few weeks to visit his dad. He’d just graduated from USC, which I thought was so dreamy. You know, a college boy. I couldn’t stop staring at him the entire two weeks. He didn’t notice me. At all. I was just a kid to him, I guess.”
“Well, you were,” Kara said.
“Right. Only I didn’t know it. Anyway, he went back to L.A. and I only saw him occasionally. But I crushed on him big time. Not a serious crush, mind you, but a schoolgirl one. Anyway, I graduated from college and got the job with Brody, basically through Zane’s dad’s recommendation. Next thing I knew, Zane was engaged. I didn’t think much about it. By then, I was in Brody’s world. Flying everywhere for games and learning so much and meeting a ton of hot guys. Sleeping with a ton of hot guys.”
How had she done that? It was the last thing a broken girl needed. She kept that thought to herself, but Honor must have seen it on her face because she laughed.
“Yo
u’re a bit of a prude, Kara Eaton.”
“I am.” She smiled. “It’s my Catholic school upbringing.”
“I don’t think of sex like most women do. It’s just physical to me. But anyway, I’d forgotten all about Zane. Then, his wedding was called off and his dad got sick and suddenly he was back in my world.” Her voice hushed. “The thing is—Zane’s dad meant a lot to me. He was the first adult in my life who I could trust. The only old guy who didn’t either hit on me or assault me. He treated me like a daughter and taught me a ton about the restaurant and bar business. He didn’t show any signs of Alzheimer’s then, but a year or so later Brody asked me if I’d noticed anything. I started going by the bar more to check on him. I didn’t want to admit it, but Brody was right. It happened so fast. A bit later, Zane came home for good and took over for his dad. I hated seeing Hugh decline. I don’t handle that kind of thing well, but I made it a point to always go by and see him. Even now, I go up to the place he’s staying at least once a week. He doesn’t remember me. Sometimes he gets confused and thinks I’m his daughter, which is weird because he never had one.”
“He thought of you that way when he was well,” Kara said.
Honor’s eyes filled. She looked away and sipped her wine. “I like to think so.”
“Does Zane know you visit his dad?”
“No. I always go on Friday afternoons. Zane goes on Mondays because the bar’s slow. Anyway, it’s been the last year or so that my thing for Zane totally reared its ugly head. I don’t know what it is about him, but I find him so...so awesome. At first it was just his looks, but over the years I started to notice the kind of man he is. Did you know he has his staff package up whatever food is left over from the specials and send it over to the church to feed the homeless people?”
“Cliffside Bay has homeless?” Kara asked.
“Everywhere has homeless people,” Honor said. “We just hide them better than most places.”
“Right.”
“One night, right before I met you, I stopped by to get dinner. The place was packed and two of Zane’s servers had called in sick, so I put on an apron and helped him out. It was kind of fun. Took me back in time. Anyway, I stayed after closing and helped him get ready for the next day. I told him a bunch of stories about his dad, which was awesome. Next thing I know, he asked if I wanted to go upstairs to see it. It’s to die for. He totally renovated it with his own hands, which I find so freaking sexy.” She pulled the clip out of her hair and let it fall around her shoulders. As she finished her story, she wrapped it into a thick knot and secured it with the clasp. “One thing led to another. And I did my thing, which is to leave when the guy’s asleep. I hate to deal with the messy parts at the end of things, so I always go first. So I did that. And ever since then, he won’t even look at me.”
“You haven’t talked about any of this since then?” Kara asked.
“No. I can’t figure out what to say or do.”
“Because you have feelings for him.”
“I think so. I mean, I know so. I just don’t know what they mean. I’ve never been in love. Have you?”
Had she? She had relationships over the years, but nothing serious. “I guess not. I’ve been career focused and I always had this rule never to date people at work. And where else do you meet people but at work?”
“Bars.”
They laughed.
“I think you should talk to Zane. Tell him how you feel.”
“But then what? Am I supposed to fall in love and have babies?” Honor asked.
“Well, that might be a bit of a leap. Maybe you could have a date that didn’t start with sex.”
“Interesting concept.” Honor laughed before instantly sobering. “The thing is, I don’t think he feels the same way. I think he just got carried away the other night. I mean, the guy lives like a monk.”
“There’s only one way to find out,” Kara said.
“You mean by talking to him? Yeah, that just doesn’t sound like me.”
Chapter Twenty-six
Brody
Five days after Flora’s operation, Brody drove her home to Cliffside Bay. Despite his worries, Flora had come through her operation with no issues. The surgeons had assured him that she had done as well as anyone could hope for. They’d extracted the tumor without damaging any nerves or tissue. As long as she followed up with radiation, her prognosis was good. Looking at her as he turned into the driveway, it was hard to believe that she’d even had surgery. They’d shaved only the section of hair at the back of her skull, which Flora admitted to feeling great relief over. “I assumed they’d shave my whole head. I bet you didn’t know how vain I am, did you?”
As far as he was concerned, she could be as vain as she wanted. He just wanted her well.
A cloudless sky and temperatures in the upper sixties added to their buoyant moods as they arrived at the house. Kara must have heard their car because she was already crossing the driveway. His stomach fluttered when she opened Flora’s door and peered in at them. “It’s so good to see you two.”
“Do I look like they sliced open my head just days ago?” Flora asked.
“Not at all,” Kara said. “You look spectacular.”
They each took one of Flora’s arms and escorted her into the house. His mother was right inside the door. She started to cry the moment she saw Flora. “I’m so relieved you’re home.”
“I told you not to worry.” Flora grasped his mother’s hand. “You can’t keep someone as ornery as me down for long.”
They guided Flora to her bedroom, keeping her close to make sure she didn’t fall. Doctor’s orders were for bed rest for at least another week, other than short walks around the house. The ladies had filled Flora’s room with fresh flowers. A box of her favorite chocolates was on the bedside table, along with a stack of paperback mysteries.
“Would you care for something to eat?” Kara asked as she helped Flora get settled into the bed.
“I’m starving. The hospital food wasn’t fit for a dog, let alone an old lady with a hole in her head.”
“You do not have a hole,” Brody said. “They stitched you right up.”
“I’ve made my famous Italian wedding soup in honor of your homecoming,” Kara said.
“Famous? I haven’t heard of it.” But Flora didn’t have the same edge she once did when talking about Kara’s food. Kara had coaxed it out of her. “I’ll have a huge bowl, along with some bread, please.”
He left his mom with Flora and followed Kara to the kitchen. The aroma of Italian spices filled the room. “That smells amazing,” he said. “Do I get some or just the patient?”
“You can have a little, I suppose.” Kara took the top off a large pot on the stove and ladled some into a bowl. She pointed to a baguette on the counter. “Would you mind cutting some bread for me?”
Brody found a serrated knife in the holder and used it to cut two slices. “How’s Mom been?”
“Quite well.” Kara’s raised her eyebrows suggestively. “The good doctor’s been here every day since you left.”
Brody turned to face her, holding the knife in the air. “What do you mean by here? Like to check on her?”
“Not exactly. These visits were more of the personal variety.”
“Like a date?”
“She asked him over for dinner the night of Flora’s surgery.” Kara set a bowl of steaming soup on the tray and looked up at him with sparkling eyes. “I made dinner and lit candles then scooted out of the house, so they could have alone time. I spent hours with Honor and do you know he was still here when I got home?”
He tossed the slices of bread on the tray. “Why did you do that?” His voice had raised both in decibel and volume. A romantic dinner?
“What do you mean?” Her eyes widened. She picked up the tray but continued to look at him with an alarmed expression.
“You didn’t have to make it so easy for them.”
Her eyebrows knitted into a scowl. “Your m
other’s an adult.”
“Please, don’t tell me he’s been staying over.” He clenched his teeth.
“You mean having sex?” She set the tray back on the counter.
“That’s exactly what I mean.” It was bad enough that Doctor Waller was here every night, but if his mother had allowed him in her bed—he didn’t even know how to finish that thought.
“How would I know that? I’m not here to play police over your mom.”
“Someone has to be.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” she said.
“You’re out of line.”
She flinched at the harsh sound in his voice. “Don’t you want her to be happy? Did you see how she has her spark back?”
“I don’t give a flying squirrel about her spark.”
She stared at him like he was a monster in a freak show. After a moment, she spoke quietly, but with utter conviction. “That’s very selfish of you.”
How dare she? What did she know about anything? This was his family. She was a stranger here, not part of the family. “Selfish? You’re not even a permanent part of this family. You’re temporary staff. I’m away taking care of Flora and you’re arranging dinner dates for my mother?”
She backed away from the counter with her fists clenched. “I wasn’t arranging anything. Your mother’s a grown woman enjoying the company of a grown man. And, whether I’m a permanent member of this family or not doesn’t mean you can speak so rudely. I’m here to do a job and if you don’t like the way I do things, then go ahead and fire me.”
“You can’t just make my mother your mother because you don’t have one.”
Kara let out an audible gasp. Instantly, he knew what he’d said was horrible, but he was too angry to take it back or apologize.
“I need to get this to Flora.” The silverware on the tray rattled as she headed out the kitchen door.
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