by Ash Harlow
“I should tell you to close your eyes, but that’s kind of dangerous in this terrain.”
“Thank you for finally considering my safety,” he teases.
“So, here we go.”
A few steps around the next twist in the track and we’re confronted by a sheer rock face covered with tiny ferns, mosses, little flowers like miniature stars. Over the entire face that stretches high above us and on to an area impossible to traverse, tiny droplets of water trickle down like individual beads. The sunlight catches them, making them sparkle against the shiny black surface of the rock.
“Wow,” Noah says.
“Beautiful, huh?”
“It’s stunning. I don’t know how I missed it as a kid. I thought I knew this area better than anyone.”
“I know. If I hadn’t followed the dog in here, I’d never have found it.”
“I love it,” he says, walking along, trailing his fingers through the drips. He takes them to his mouth. “The water tastes nearly as sweet as you.”
His words make my insides tremble. The fact that he gets this place makes him almost too perfect. I never thought I’d find a guy who saw beauty in the same things as me.
“I’m famished,” he says, rolling the backpack off his shoulders.
We eat, talk and make plans as if all the opposition to a relationship between us, like Cam, and my parents, and the fact that we’re going to be working together in a place where a no-fraternization policy is included in our contracts, doesn’t exist. After lunch, we make love, slowly, without a single care.
After, I drift off to sleep. I don’t know how long I doze, but at some stage, with sunlight filtering through the trees to the west, Noah wakes me with kisses. He helps me dress and we head back to the hut. On the Snare Track, he asks me when I last came up on my bike.
“Twice in summer. You can’t ride the entire way up here, but the start is exhilarating.”
“I want to tell you not to,” he says. “The track’s not in a good state. Would you listen if I asked you to stick to the safer properly maintained trails?”
“I’m always careful,” I promise him.
18 ~ Noah
The property deal goes through without a hitch. There are no mining licenses, or massive power pylons, or anything much at all planned for the adjacent land. That’s all I was concerned about. The less that goes on out there, the better.
We’ve completed the move to the new medical center although my position there remains as a locum tenens physician, filling in while Arch and Felicity are overseas. I don’t know what the board’s delay is in offering me a full-time position, but I’m starting to suspect Cam has something to do with it.
Steffi and I spend weekends up at Isaiah clearing out the old hut and lugging junk down to the gate where we have a dumpster. Our traipsing back and forth has the double advantage of clearing the track.
Once the hut is empty, I get a better idea of what I want to do. A building boom is taking place in Queenstown and builders are hard to come by, but I managed to get one to come up and advise us on what was necessary to make the place habitable. Steffi and I want something simple. Just a bedroom and a bathroom, and the open-plan kitchen and lounge. That’s all we need for now. The magic will happen when I find an architect brave enough to work out how to build into the cave.
The biggest disappointment was when the builder said he couldn’t get me anyone to work on the hut for at least twelve months. But clever Steffi came up with an idea.
“Why don’t we advertise on that Workers website? You get backpackers who are passing through. Queenstown’s a popular place for them in winter with the snowboarding and skiing. I bet we’ll find people with the necessary skills.”
That’s how we finish up with Miguel and Pietro from Brazil, doing our carpentry, and Kata, a young woman from Hungary, who is more than happy to help us out rather than wash dishes in a restaurant kitchen. Kata is an exceptional find because it turns out she’s the most amazing tiler and is changing our little bathroom from a hovel into something exquisite.
Their social network is useful, too, as whenever we need a particular set of skills, they always seem to know another backpacker in town who can help out. I bought them a van for transport to and from the site, and whoever is working on a particular day is picked up from their lodgings in what they now call the Isaiah Bus Service. They work hard. The ski season is approaching and they’re all keen to have a pocket full of money so that they can take some time off. I’ve promised them each a bonus of a season ski pass if they’re finished before the season opens.
Cam is the only bug in the ointment. He’s changed. I don’t know if it’s the money, or the people he hangs out with, or if we’ve just matured and taken different directions in our lives. I do know that I’d far prefer to spend time in Steffi’s company than his. He’s been up to Isaiah this once and I’m not looking for validation from him for my decisions, but so far, he can scarcely say a single charitable word about our project.
“You’re not seriously considering living up here?” he asks.
“Yes, Cam, I am.” It pisses me off I can’t say “we” and include Steffi in our conversation.
“Do you have any idea how fucking cold it gets in winter? Shit, you don’t even have to wait until winter. The wind leaves the South Pole and doesn’t have much to stop it before it smacks into your mountainside. When it snows, it settles right down to the road.”
“I remember. I lived here for years,” I tell him.
Cam nods. “Yeah, but you weren’t in any rush to get back here once you got a taste of our warm house in town.”
This is the sort of thing that’s pissing me off. He’s glossing over history. I was a broken, angry boy when I first visited the Paxton house in town. My mother had vanished two years prior, and my father’s descent into bitterness punctuated with rage was complete. Staying with the Paxtons, I felt safe for the first time in my life. The fact that I never wanted to leave had nothing to do with their efficient heating system and everything to do with emotional survival.
“You don’t think that could have something to do with my father, instead of the fact that I was cold?” Like any adult, if you didn’t live through it as a kid, your memory of somebody else’s childhood is incomplete.
He manages to look contrite. “Oh, yeah, sorry, mate. Forgot about that.” He takes a long look around him. “The view’s astonishing. I’ll give you that. But it’s pretty impractical being up here. You’re going to have times when the roads will be impassable.”
I pop the cap off a beer and hand it to him before opening one myself. We’re the only two up here. Steffi’s out on a bike ride with Terra, and the builders have left for the day. Despite my best efforts, I’m having trouble reconnecting with Cam on the level we were at before I left to work in the US, but I push on. “Is the board any closer to making a decision about my employment?” I’ve no idea what the hold-up is, but this afternoon I’m hoping to find out.
“Any day, now. Simone insisted we interview a couple of other prospects, so we’ve done that.”
“Makes sense.”
“Noah, I’ve got to say your relationship with Steffi concerns me. Even if it is platonic, it’s been noticed that you spend virtually all your free time together.”
“We’re fine, Cam.” I really want to come clean about us. We can’t get ahead with our relationship while we’re sneaking around.
“Well, I think Steffi sees things in a different light. I overheard her talking about ‘our place up at Mount Isaiah’ yesterday.”
I shrug. “She loves it up here.”
“And?”
“And, I like having her up here. She’s great company.”
Cam aims the neck of his bottle at me. “Move on and forget about her. It’s not going to happen between you two. Mom and Dad will have a fit. You’re not—” He stops himself.
Anger bubbles inside me. I try to control it, but maybe there’s more of my old man waiting to
emerge than I thought. “Fuck you, Cam. I’m not what? Not good enough? Too volatile? Wrong side of the tracks? Which one is it?”
“Maybe it’s all of them. Look at yourself. Your fists are clenched like you want to hit me. Do you really think I’m going to let my little sister come up here and live in this isolated hut with you? Are you going to go crazy like your old man once you start coming home from a hard day and hitting the bottle?”
“Domestic abuse occurs across all strata of society.”
“An alcoholic parent can pass on a predisposition for alcohol abuse and addiction to their children,” he counters.
“That’s only part of the equation.”
“Really? And what’s the other part? Stress?”
“Environment, social…I’m not defending my friendship with Steffi to you, Cam. Have you had a close look at the guy you think is the ideal partner for your sister? Kennedy. At least twenty years older than her. He doesn’t look as though he’s exercised much for years beyond lifting food to his mouth. Look at the things Steffi enjoys. The outdoors, sport—”
“She needs to start taking life a bit more seriously. She’s not a teenager anymore. Kennedy can give her everything she wants.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. He can’t. I see where you’ve changed, now. Money is the most important thing to you these days, not your family. I thought we were friends, Cam.” My anger has subsided and left me with a sharp sense of loss. Cam’s and my values have veered in different directions and I’m not sure how our friendship can survive such differing values.
“I hope we are, but you need to understand the way a guy feels towards his family.”
I can’t even respond to that. I don’t want to because I’ll be giving too much away and, when the timing is right, Steffi and I want to make the announcement together. I push to my feet and start packing away the gear for the day. The hut is amazing inside. With just a few finishing touches it will be habitable. This weekend, Steffi and I plan to stay our first night up here and I want to make sure it’s perfect for her. The bed was delivered this afternoon and I go into the bedroom, leaving Cam on the porch, and take my frustration out by tearing the packaging off the mattress. Pietro and I had just finished assembling the frame when Cam arrived. I want the job completed before I leave.
“You’re angry with me about Steffi.” Cam’s been at the bedroom door, watching me for the past minute.
“No, Cam. I’m angry because you don’t trust me to the extent you think I’d harm Steffi. That really fucking hurts.”
“I have to be confident I can assure the board there is nothing going on between you two.”
“Tell the board what you like.”
“They’re not keen on your idea for a free clinic.”
“Fine, I’ll work out another way to make it happen.”
I didn’t think they’d jump onto the free clinic idea. One fault of the medical center is the makeup of the board. Like Cam, they’re all money-focused. I get that they have to turn a profit and give back to the investors. I’m one of those people myself. Queenstown might be one giant playground with a lot of money poured into it, but many of the people who make sure the hotels and restaurants run seamlessly are doing it hard. Accommodation is cramped and substandard. Wages are low. I’m seeing families living below the poverty line which comes with its own set of issues. And I’m seeing people, children in particular, suffering from poor nutrition and living conditions.
Steffi and I have been talking about a formalized free clinic one afternoon a week. Her parents are already lenient with people they know can’t afford treatment, but the problem is the section of society who can’t afford to visit a doctor, so don’t go, or leave it so late a chronic illness develops into something worse.
“Just the one bedroom?” Cam asks.
I ignore him. The last piece of packaging tape comes off with a satisfying rip.
“I’m heading off,” he continues. “I want to get down the track to the car before dark.”
I offer Cam a torch, but he refuses it.
“I can use the light on my phone. I’m inviting Steffi up to Harebrook on Saturday night for dinner. It’s Kennedy’s last night before he heads back to Auckland.”
As a parting shot, it’s an asshole move, but he’ll soon find out that Steffi’s busy that night.
With me.
Up here.
In my house with one bedroom.
19 ~ Steffi
It’s the winter solstice, and it’s damned cold outside. It’s also Noah’s and my first official overnight stay at Mount Isaiah. The open fire is small, but it warms the little house perfectly.
I look at him and want to pinch myself to make sure this isn’t a dream, he’s that perfect. The hut is now a home. Cozy, insulated, gaps closed to keep out the draughts, no apparent ghosts apart from whatever memories linger for Noah. His mood suggests they’re either buried deep or banished. Up here, on the side of this mountain, he is king, and this is his palace.
I intend to be a worthy princess.
We’re on the floor, lying on our backs, side by side in front of the fire, staring at the tin ceiling. It’s light on decorative elements compared with many Victorian ceilings. The men removed it carefully and a craftsman over in Clyde stripped it back, repaired the small amount of corrosion and returned it to us good as new.
“I’m glad you kept it,” I say.
“I’m glad you suggested it.”
The floorboards are the original wide kauri planks. The kitchen still has the original flagstones, slightly uneven, with a lip on one that trips me more often than not. In fact, much of the house remains as original and restored.
Outside, the wind picks up and whistles so suddenly and loud, it makes me jump. “So many new sounds to get used to,” I say.
“I’d forgotten how noisy the wind can be up here. I think we’ve got some rough and cold weather coming in the next few days.”
I roll on top of Noah. “Maybe snow?”
“Perhaps.”
“Imagine being stuck up here together in a snow storm. The world would simply have to carry on without us.”
“Like now. Next week they’re coming to install wifi. I would have loved this to be a tech-free zone, but unfortunately I always need to be contactable whether I stay on at the medical center or not.”
“Whether or not? What does that mean?”
“It means, I don’t think I have Cam’s support any more.”
I’m shocked. They’ve been friends almost twenty years. “Of course you have his support. And if you didn’t, you have money invested in the center. Don’t you get a vote?”
Noah bends his knees and leans me back against them so that I have a backrest. His hands are splayed over my hipbones and immediately my sex jumps to high alert.
“My money is part of a group of investors in the center. We’re not on the board, we’re shareholders. I don’t get any sort of vote, and money invested doesn’t guarantee me a position on the staff.”
“I don’t get it. Cam lures you back here with the job offer, and now he’s not supporting you.” I’m confused, and, yes, I’ll admit I’m scared that I’m about to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If Noah doesn’t have a permanent position at the medical center, will he leave the country?
“Primarily, I came back here for Arch and Felicity. I’m at a stage in my career where I need to decide which direction I want to take. Three months as a locum in my old town gives me the opportunity to see if being in a family medical practice is what I want. The new medical center fits conveniently with my plans. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t get the position.”
“But it might be the end of mine,” I mutter.
“It won’t be. Listen. I was contacted by the district health board yesterday, asking me to apply for head of the emergency department at the hospital, The position is coming vacant in six months. I have a lot of opportunities. Perhaps I just want to start my own small fa
mily practice. So many directions I can take. But I’m staying, okay?”
I can’t hide my smile. “Thank you, I’m glad.”
“So, we have to work a few things out. I don’t want to continue sneaking around like a couple of naughty kids. I want that job at the medical center, even though I don’t need it. But we have to be straight with Cam and your parents. If you’re as serious about this relationship as I am, I think that when Arch and Felicity return, we tell them immediately. I can’t guess how your parents will feel, but Cam won’t be happy. He thinks you’re better off with a rich old fart like Kennedy, who, by the way, you’re meant to be dining with tonight. How did you get out of that?”
“I said there wasn’t enough money in the world to make me even consider having dinner with Kennedy and that I had plans. I also told Cam to stop trying to find me a partner and to concentrate on his own relationship deficits.”
Noah laughs. The wind whistles around the house and something left loose outside, some sort of container, bounces across the yard. We both look up as if expecting the roof to lift off. Then we glance at each other, wide eyed, and laugh. “Even without the renovations, this little place has withstood far worse weather than what’s out there,” Noah says.
“It’s strong, like you,” I say, tracing his jaw with my fingers. “Can I tell you something?” He smiles. “I like you a lot, Noah. I haven’t felt this way about anyone before. Does that scare you?”
“It doesn’t scare me, it fills me with relief. This all feels so fast, even though we’ve known each other such a long time. I’m eager for your parents to return so that we can move things along. I don’t want you staying in your apartment and me living out here.”
“We’d have to rely on phone sex. That was fun, but this is better.”
He takes my fingers into his mouth and sucks. The way his tongue weaves and folds around them makes my pussy ache. His erection nudges at my butt and I tilt my hips back to rub against it.
