by Ella Wayne
It felt as though spiders were crawling over her skin. Every man she saw she looked at with suspicion, especially the golden-haired ones. The world was a big place but she had no idea how many of them there were, or if they wanted to focus their population in one area or spread out over the world. There could well be a concentration of them right there in Colorado and she would have no idea about it.
Leslie found herself rushing to the bar. There was something eerie about the thought of them on Earth. While they were on the spaceship it felt natural somehow. That was their natural habitat after all, but to think of them on Earth in disguise made her unsure about what to think. Her mind ran away with her and she knew there was no way she could tell them apart from real humans, but what could she do even if she did? There were times in all this when she felt completely powerless, especially when she was on Earth. She longed to be taken up on the spaceship again, to feel their hands and eyes upon her, to feel special.
“Hey!” Sharee said, waving to Leslie excitedly, beckoning her over to her table. She had already lined up a couple of cocktails and said that the next round was on Leslie. Leslie thanked her and took a seat, casting a gaze around the room. The place was fairly quiet, although she was sure that it would get busier as the evening drew on. Her eyes lingered on the men in the bar, wondering if they were really who they seemed. She had more questions as well. Like were there any tall white females? So far, she hadn't seen any of them. She wondered if there was a man, just like her who had been taken up to the ship and been experimented on. Something told her that it would be a long time before she found out, if she ever did.
“Earth to Leslie!” Sharee said, snapping her fingers in front of Leslie's face to catch her attention. Leslie smiled an offered an apology. “Long day?” Sharee asked.
“Not really, I've just got a few things on my mind that's all. I'm sorry, I won't be a downer tonight.”
“You'd better not be! So . . . aren't you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“How everything is going!”
Leslie sighed. She loved Sharee, and loved that Sharee was so concerned about her, but she knew that she would be forced into a lie if Sharee kept asking her these questions. “Everything is fine,” she said in a dull tone.
“That's all you're giving me?!”
“I don't know what you want me to say.”
“You could at least tell me what it was like. I've never been to a hypnotist. Did it work? Was it like the movies?”
Leslie took a sip of her drink and felt the sweet smooth taste of the cocktail slide down her throat. Crushed ice lingered on her tongue and lips, and her mind grew a little hazy. “It wasn't really like the movies. He just spoke quietly and softly, and sort of lulled me into this state.”
“Did it work?”
“It was . . . helpful,” Leslie said. Sharee looked disappointed.
“That's all you have for me? That it was helpful?”
“I don't really know what you want me to say. It's not exactly something I feel comfortable talking about,” Leslie said, trying to deflect the attention and make Sharee feel guilty so that she wouldn't ask her anymore questions. It worked, but that didn't make Leslie feel any better about it. She would have loved to tell Sharee all about it but she didn't want to lose her as a friend, and she was sure that was going to happen if Leslie revealed the truth.
But it was more than that as well. Leslie knew that she had been chosen specially by the tall whites, and they had a plan. They had repressed her memories for a reason. She could only surmise it was because they didn't want their plans to be discovered. If Leslie told Sharee the truth the tall whites may not have looked upon that favorably, and it may have put Sharee in danger. Really, Leslie was keeping the truth from Sharee for her own protection, at least that's what Leslie told herself.
Sharee leaned back on the chair. Leslie's plan had worked. Sharee curled her hand around the glass in front of her and turned it around on the table, pursing her lips together and nodding a little. “I understand,” she said quietly, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry too much. I know that these things can be difficult and personal and you're probably going through a lot. But you know you can always talk to me about anything. I mean, you know I - we've been through something similar, you and I, and there aren't many people that can really understand it, at least not how it always stays with you. And even years after you think you've moved on from it all, there's something that just stabs at your mind and it takes you back to that moment.”
Sharee rarely let herself get despondent. She was usually the life of the party and always had a cheerful demeanor but Leslie had long suspected that that was an act, or a coping mechanism. Leslie's guilt swam in her stomach for she knew that all Sharee wanted was to find a common connection, for they were both drowning in the same sea of pain. Sharee had been the victim of a sexual assault but it was entirely different to what Leslie had been experiencing. Leslie had been chosen, she was special. Sharee had just been used. Leslie wished that she could tell Sharee the truth and properly empathize with her but it wasn't safe yet, not until Leslie knew for sure what the consequences would be, and what they tall whites were planning.
“You know,” Sharee continued, “sometimes there are moments when I wonder if I'll ever be able to move on again and find another man. I mean, I've tried, but after that you just look at people and wonder if they are even who they say they are. I think sometimes all men have a monster inside of them and it's just a matter of time before it comes out.”
“I know what you mean,” Leslie said, thinking of Kevin, her first boyfriend. She knew that Sharee would think she was talking about a new sexual assault.
“Are you going to go to the police, I mean, if you remember anything?”
“I don't know,” Leslie said, trying to act like she was embarrassed or ashamed. She could just picture herself going to the police station and telling them that she had been abducted and used in scientific experiments by aliens. She'd soon be carted away to the nearest mental hospital.
“I can understand why. It's not like they're much help. I don't know why they don't seem to care, but it's like these sort of crimes are the lowest on their list of priorities. Can you imagine how many people suffer the same thing we did and they don't even get to tell anyone about it? Can you imagine what it would be like to have nobody believe you? No wonder so many people keep these things a secret. It's horrible though because all it does is make it harder for the next victim to come forward, and the only people it helps are the ones committing the crimes.” Sharee was getting more heated as she spoke, so much so that her feet were tapping against the floor and her hand drummed the table. “I wish that I could do something more, like form a trust or something. I guess we all want to change something about the world though.” She sighed heavily and took a long sip of her drink.
“I guess so,” Leslie agreed. Little did Sharee know that the world was going to change dramatically at some point. There would be a race of hybrids growing up among the people of Earth, and Leslie was as yet unsure if their motive was good or evil. She didn't like to think of that though, for the tall whites had made her feel special, and the way they had spoken to her hadn't seemed evil.
Chapter 4
“I believe it's your round,” Sharee said, gesturing to her empty glass. Leslie was surprised at how quickly Sharee had managed to drink hers, but she supposed that sometimes alcohol was as good a way as any to forget. Leslie drained the rest of her drink and then pushed her way to the bar. In the short time they had been talking, the bar had filled with people and it was alive with the sounds of chatter. Leslie's throat ran dry for she didn't like crowds most of the times, and now aliens could have been among them.
She placed a hand on the bar and caught the attention of a bartender, a woman. Leslie's thoughts turned to the females of her species. How would they deal with the fact that they would sleep with aliens? Would they notice? If Leslie did her job well and
taught the aliens properly then everything should go smoothly. But the women would fall in love with the men. Leslie had had one night stands before. She knew all about the crash that came when you woke up the next morning to an empty bed, and the heated passion of the night before had turned to ash. She didn't even know if the tall whites were capable of love, or if they even saw human women as worthy of love. She realized in that moment the magnitude of her task, for there was more to sex than the mere mechanics. There was passion, seduction, temptation and intense erotic heat. To make sure the tall whites were convincing she would have to teach them all the nuances that came naturally to humans and that weren’t understood by the aliens.
With this on her mind she ordered the next round of drinks, along with a couple of shots, and then headed back to their table, only to find Sharee talking with a couple of men. They were handsome, and neither of them were blonde, but Leslie almost felt guilty for even being attracted to a human man. The aliens had claimed her as the mother to a new generation of hybrids. It almost felt beneath her to have sex with a mere human. She knew she couldn't anyway, she could never risk taking a man home in case she was taken during the night. And no man would want to touch her when he found out she had been touched by aliens.
“This is Steve and Jack,” Sharee said, arching an eyebrow as Leslie returned. It was clear that she had her eyes set on Steve. Leslie wondered if the talk of the past had made Sharee more desperate to move forward. For someone so suspicious of men there were times when Sharee could be awfully eager to embrace intimacy, even if it was only a brief and fleeting thing.
Leslie inclined her head to Jack, who flashed her a winning smile. “Jack and Steve were just telling me how they're writing a movie,” Sharee said, sounding impressed.
“It's not that big of a deal really,” Jack said, his accent sounding foreign, although Leslie couldn't quite make it out in all the ambient noise.
“What's it about?” Leslie asked.
“Well it sounds a little stupid,” Jack said, running his hand across the back of his neck. Steve glared at him.
“You have to have faith!” Steve yelled, “if we don't believe in the story the audience certainly isn't going to.”
“I know, I know, but you have to admit that a story about an alien coming to earth looking for love isn't exactly the easiest sell,” Jack said. Leslie's eyes perked up at the mention of aliens. Neither Steve or Jack seemed to notice though, nor Sharee for that matter. Steve and Jack had evidently had this discussion before, judging by their body language and the exasperated look on their faces. Sharee was mooning at Steve, her eyes wide and liquid, leaning into him, hanging on his every word.
“Not when you say it like that!” Steve said, throwing up his arms. He then turned to Sharee and Leslie, “sadly my colleague's strength is not in selling a story. He always likes to frame things in a negative way.” He shot a quick glare at Jack. Jack rolled his eyes. “Anyway,” Steve continued, “our story is not really about an alien who comes to Earth looking for love, well, it is, but it's about much more than that. It's about examining what makes us human through the eyes of someone not of this world. It's about the search for love when you feel like you're the only person in the world. It's about loneliness, it's about hope, it's about everything that makes us human! It's going to have drama and romance and thrills and suspense, and by the end of it you'll be shedding tears.”
“Oh, so it's got a sad ending?” Sharee said, sounding a little disappointed, “I like happy endings.”
“This is why I don't like talking about it,” Jack said, “you always give away clues to the ending.”
Steve pressed his lips together and glared at Jack again before he spoke. “Nonsense. I haven't given anything away. Anyway, that's what the movie is about. It's about everything.”
“Sounds ambitious,” Leslie remarked a little sarcastically. Steve didn't seem to notice though and inclined his head in thanks. Jack on the other hand did notice, and gave her a sly smile. The two pairs broke off. Sharee winked at Leslie and pulled Steve closer towards her, leaving Leslie with Jack. Leslie hadn't exactly wanted the night to turn out like this, but then again at least it meant she wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable for not revealing her secret to Sharee.
Leslie moved a little closer to Jack. He had dark hair, hooded eyes, dressed well, and smelled nice. She came up to the middle of his chest, and he was leaning against the table with his drink in his hand. He looked as though he belonged in this place, so casual and easygoing. He had a lazy smile, and didn't seem bothered by the fact that his writing partner had just laid into him.
“Looks like those two are getting on well,” he said, nodding towards Sharee and Steve who were deep in conversation.
“Yeah,” Leslie sighed, for she knew where the night was heading. She didn't mind so much being a wing-woman for Sharee, but she didn't think it was exactly a good decision for Sharee to just throw herself at men. Still, it was her life and she could do with it what she wanted. It was now up to Leslie to keep Jack occupied. “I hope your friend takes care of her, he'd better not be an asshole.”
“If anything, I think he's going to need protecting from her,” Jack said, smiling broadly as he looked towards Sharee, who was curling her leg against Steve's and running her arm along his arm, like some kind of succubus luring him in. Leslie smiled too. It would be easier if she stopped worrying about Sharee. She was a grown woman who could look after herself.
“So, what about you? What's your deal?”
“My deal?” Leslie echoed.
“Yeah, like where are you from, what do you do, are you seeing anyone?”
Leslie arched an eyebrow as she took a sip of her drink. “Shall I just tell you my life story while I'm at it?”
“If you like, I always like learning about new people,” Jack said. There was something about his demeanor that was instantly likable. Leslie didn't want to give him any signs of encouragement but she didn't have the energy to act aloof or standoffish either. While she was there she might as well have a good time, although the night was drawing in and soon there would be another chance for the tall whites to take her away. It seemed like such a small thing to be standing in a bar with so many other people who had no idea what was really going on above the world. She couldn't help but smile coyly, although she quickly wiped it from her face and hoped that Jack didn't notice.
“I'm from just about everywhere, I work in a jewelry store, and no, I don't have a boyfriend.”
“Interesting,” Jack said.
“Which part?”
“All of it. What's it like working in a jewelry store?”
“Not great for the willpower. There are a lot of shiny things.”
“I heard a theory once that diamonds aren't actually that rare or valuable, there was just a big marketing push in the early 20th century by a diamond company and it was so widespread that it planted the idea that diamonds were the height of status. Do you know anything about that?”
“If you're trying to ask me if there's some kind of big conspiracy among people who sell jewelry I couldn't tell you. I literally just sell it. It's not like it's going to be a long-term career.” Leslie had never really had a long-term career. Because her life had been so unsettled, jumping from place to place, she'd never been able to hold down a job for too long. She'd worked mostly in retail because that was the easiest thing to do, and with all that happened with the tall white aliens she had too much on her mind to be able to focus on a job that took a lot of mental energy.
“No? What do you want to do then?”
The question took her aback, and she scowled, for it was the question she hated most in the world. Even at high school when people were planning for the future she'd never been able to give a straight answer. When she was younger she'd never had a distant dream or ambition, all she wanted was to live and live well.
“You know, I've always hated how everything on this planet has revolved around what we do. It's like we only have v
alue if we feel like we're doing something with our lives, but there has to be more than that, right? We can't just be defined by our jobs.” She was defined by something much more, but of course she could not say that to him.
“I think you're right to an extent but it's important to have purpose in our lives, and careers are an easy way to go about that. I didn't mean to offend though, I was only trying to make conversation.”
“No, it's okay, I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired at the moment and sometimes I snap. I just always hated that question when I was younger. Like, they were asking it to me when I was fifteen, I wasn't even sure of myself, how the hell was I supposed to know what I wanted to do?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I think the time I realized that I had grown up was when I realized that actually nobody knows what the hell is going on in the world. When I was younger I always thought adults figured it out but then I grew and realized that everyone is trying to muddle through as best they can.”
