I haven’t even told my dad I was on my way home. I know I’ll have a job waiting for me no matter what, but he probably could have used a heads up. It’ll be dark by the time I get back into Lake Charles and I asked Rob if I could stay with them for the night. Once morning comes, I’ll be able to make a better decision about what I’ll do. I’ll need another apartment for sure but that won’t be hard to find. I also need a new heart, but I’m pretty sure those are all gone. Because of this past year, I’ll never be the same. I’m just another broken soul, another broken person who believed in love. What a joke.
I’ve never been more relieved to see the sign welcoming me back into Louisiana. Now I know I’m closer. There’s still a good bit of road ahead of me but the end is nearing. I only stop once more and I’m relieved to feel the warm Louisiana air on my skin. I take a second and breathe it in like it’s my lifeline. I roll down my window as I drive and let the air fill the cab of the truck. If I wasn’t driving, I’d close my eyes. I now have a lifetime to do that and I will, every second of every day. If there’s anything I’ve learned besides the fact that love sucks, it’s that I’m beyond grateful for where I’m from. This is me, and if Shay or anyone else can’t accept that, then oh well.
My eyes begin to grow heavy but I fight past it as I enter DeRidder. There’s not much more driving to be done and then I can rest. I drive through as quickly as possible and I’m on a stretch of highway that leads me back to my dirt road paradise. When I finally catch a glimpse of the red light ahead, my insides warm. I’m almost home. I take a left at the red light and continue down a few minutes before my tires hit the dirt. The sound of the gravel crunching beneath my tires is music to my ears. A whole damn symphony is playing inside my head and I’m loving every damn minute of it.
I turn into Rob and Sienna’s driveway and turn the truck off. The fact that I have no more driving to do elates me. The light outside flips on and the door opens. Sienna and Rob come barreling out the front door and they don’t stop until they reach my truck. The smiles on their faces are infectious and soon mine matches. It’s nice to finally see people who are actually happy to see me.
Chapter 8
Beau
With a little help, Rob and Sienna get me up the steps. Rob hands me a beer and sits across from me in his recliner. “It’s good to have you back, man. I’m sorry about all the shit that went down with Shay.”
“Can you not say her name?” I ask as I tilt the beer bottle back.
“Yeah, don’t be insensitive, Rob. Beau’s been through enough,” Sienna says as she fixes herself a glass of wine. “Did you hear from her before you left?”
I glance over at Sienna and shake my head. “No, I deleted her number after everything went down. I forgot to tell you that.”
Her eyes widen as she sets her wine glass down. “Damn straight you forgot to tell me that. I’m surprised she’s still talking to me. I don’t ask about him, though.”
“Well, isn’t that just music to my ears. She’s your best friend, that’d be shitty of her to just stop talking to you.” I attempt to force my mind elsewhere.
Rob has been my best friend for a long time for many good reasons. One being he can read my mind. He knows when something is bugging me and instantly, he can change the subject and make the surroundings a little more bearable. I glance over at him as he nods his head, letting me know he’s about to end this little charade.
“Okay, enough, Sienna. I’m sure Beau didn’t drive all this way to talk about Shay. Let’s give him some space and let him relax. You up for some fishing tomorrow, man? We can hit our usual spot and see who can catch more fish. I’ve been practicing while you were gone.”
I chuckle at his attempt to lighten the mood. I haven’t been fishing since before I left for Missouri. The water is one of the places I can go and just get lost in absolutely nothing. Out there, heartache doesn’t exist. Out there, it’s nothing but me and the open water.
“I’m in. I’ll buy the beer.” I laugh.
“You got it, man. It’s good to have you back. I know it’s late, so I’m going to drag Sienna to bed and get her out of your hair so you can rest. You’re gonna need it in the morning when I take your ass to school.”
He stands and raises an eyebrow at Sienna. She downs the rest of her wine and stands with him. She brings the empty glass to the sink and turns back to stare at me. I know she wants more details from my point of view on what happened but I just don’t care to talk about it anymore. She can get all the information she wants out of Shay. I’m done talking and I’m ready to move on. Shit, who am I kidding? I’ll never move on but that doesn’t mean I’m going to constantly talk about her.
Rob and Sienna disappear into the bedroom, closing the door behind them. I take that as my cue to hobble my crippled ass into the spare bedroom and attempt to get some sleep. I lie on the bed and prop my foot up on a few pillows. Staring at the ceiling turns to staring at the walls and suddenly everything begins to blur and I fall into a peaceful slumber.
The sun shines through the opening in the blinds and I squint, trying to adjust. The aroma of coffee fills the air, making my mouth water. I need a good pick me up, especially if I’m going to be out on the water all day. What time is it? I look up at the clock on the wall and notice it’s after seven in the morning. Shit, I didn’t mean to sleep this late. Why didn’t Rob wake me up? I manage to sit up on the bed and reach for my crutches. The first place I go is to the bathroom. When I get done, I make my way into the kitchen where Rob is sitting, drinking his own cup of coffee. An empty cup is sitting beside the coffee pot and when he sees me, he points to the cup and tells me it’s mine.
“We should have been on the water by now…why didn’t you wake me up?” I ask as I pour my cup of coffee. It’d be hell to try to move with the cup of coffee so I just lean against the counter as I take a sip of the hot liquid.
“You needed your rest. We can get out there any time. We may not catch as many, but that’s cool. You’re still going down.” He laughs as he reaches for his tackle box. He’s all set and ready to go.
I drink my coffee quickly. I’m eager to get out and enjoy the warm weather. The sun is shining just like it should be—there isn’t a cloud in the sky from what I can see through the window. “Well, let’s get this shit started. I’m ready.” Boy, am I ever ready.
***
Shayleigh
My heart tears more and more every day as I sit back and think about the choices I’ve made. This is what I do though, I push people away. I push them away until they leave for good, but this time I’m not able to get over it like I usually do. I’m lying in bed silently cursing myself. I woke in a frenzy, wondering where I was, and then it hit me. I remembered it all. I decided to go out with Farrah last night and attempt to drink everything away. I don’t remember much this morning, except we had an epic night. She refused to let me get upset and I love her for it. I don’t love her so much for it today because my body is aching. I’m not even sure how I got home, she was in no shape to drive. I’m crossing my fingers we let the cab bring us home. I’m pretty positive that’s what we did. That’s what she always does when she crosses the line. Got to love responsible Farrah. I pull myself from the bed, trying to ignore the aches and pains in my body. I need like an entire bottle of aspirin and two gallons of water, maybe even Taco Bell at this point.
Dad is sitting at the table drinking coffee when I walk in the kitchen. I was hoping he wouldn’t be awake but he’s sitting there just staring at me. “Well, hello, daughter. I was wondering when I’d see you. Did you stay with your friend from Louisiana last night?”
Bam, one shot to the heart. Thanks, Dad. “No, he moved back to Louisiana.”
“Oh,” Dad replies with a crinkled brow. “I liked that kid. Seemed real down to earth, unlike that fancy pants doctor you bring around here.”
“Stop, Dad, please. I’ve made some mistakes and I can’t erase them. I made my choice and I have to live with it. I’ve let
both of them go.”
“Fine, I won’t drag it out. You’re in charge of your life and I trust you’ll make the right decisions. You always have.” He stands. “I have to run to the office to take care of a few things today. Relax and take some time for yourself, Shayleigh. Don’t beat yourself up over these so-called mistakes. Things happen for a reason and what’s meant to be will be.” He pats me on the shoulder.
“Thanks, Dad. I needed to hear that.”
He walks out of the room and I close my eyes. What’s meant to be will be. Well, I think that ship has already sailed. The only reason I know Beau made it safely back to Louisiana was because Sienna told me. She said he looked like shit and I should feel horrible. Well, I do but I can’t change it. I suppose this is what’s meant to be.
I take myself away from my pity party and walk straight to the bathroom. I run the hottest shower I can tolerate and stand under it. I let the hot water wash away my sorrows. I stand under the water until it turns cold and I have to admit I feel a little better. I run my hands through my wet hair and sigh before reaching for a towel. I wrap it tightly around my body and walk to my room. Exhaustion hits me. I slept like shit last night and a nap sounds wonderful. So wonderful, I don’t even take the towel off. I just lie in bed and close my eyes. I just realize I forgot the aspirin, but I don’t care anymore at this point.
In my dreams, everything from our first meeting with my flat tire to when he found out I was the one who once called him Busty Beau. Even our first kiss crosses my mind. I can hear him telling me everything again as if it were the first time.
“I saw you sitting here and it looks like you could use some help.”
“I really want nothing more than to be mad at you, but honestly, Shay, I don’t give a shit.”
“I’ve been wanting to do that since I ran into you on the side of the road. You taste just as sweet as I thought you would.”
If tears could fall while I slept, they would be streaming down my face. Instead, I’m trapped in memory lane and it’s taking a toll on me. I remember going into Victoria’s Secret with Sienna and buying the black lace panties he loved so much. I remember him cooking for me and making me feel like I was his entire world. I remember just a few weeks ago when we shared the steamy, passionate night in his truck. I remember it all and I suddenly want it back.
I know what I have to do and it won’t be easy. I have to fix things, but the shitty thing about that is I have to wait until my clinicals are over so it may as well be next damn summer. Will he still want me then? Should I just pop up like he did? Those are the details I need to iron out. Sienna is going to think I’ve lost my fucking mind, and maybe I have, but I can’t just let him walk away again. I have to play my cards right. I’m the dealer and it will only go how I plan. I won’t lose a hand.
Chapter 9
Beau
In true Rob fashion, he’s planned a little party for tonight. I miss everything about these parties. The people, the music, the drinks—all of it. The only thing is I’m still on crutches, so I can’t get too out of control. I just want to kick back and relax with a drink in my hand. We’re both exhausted from our fishing trip but that won’t stop us. Neither of us caught anything but a little buzz. He told me he was going to help me forget all my troubles and I will gladly put my life in his hands if he can make it happen.
Sienna has been out and about getting everything we need for the party. Any attempt she’s made to get close enough to me to talk, Rob has shut her down. He told her I’m going to have fun this evening and there’s nothing she can do to ruin it, which was his version of saying don’t bring up Shay. I can’t get her out of my fucking head though, so what’s it matter if Sienna talks about her?
I sit back in a lawn chair and watch as Rob strings his Christmas lights from tree to tree. We’ve tried to convince him to just keep them up since he uses them every weekend, but he always insists on taking them down. Normally I’d be up there with him but instead I get to sit back and laugh as he cusses each time one slips and he has to start all over again.
“These are a fucking pain in my ass,” Rob groans as he steps down from the ladder. He marches right over to the outdoor refrigerator and pops the top on a cold beer.
“Hey, grab me one,” I yell at him. He throws one to me. Luckily, I catch it. “You should just leave the damn lights up if they’re such a pain in the ass.”
“I just may finally listen to you and Sienna. I’m about ready to hang myself with those damn things.”
“Well, now isn’t that a party.” I laugh as I take a drink.
I grab my phone out of my pocket and stare a hole in it. I don’t know what I’m expecting. Yes I do. I’m expecting to see her number pop up. I may not have it stored anymore but I could quote it off the top of my head if I had to. The screen goes black again and I press the button to light it up.
“Man, you’ve got to quit torturing yourself,” Rob says, pulling a chair up beside me. “It’s not healthy.”
I look at him and roll my eyes like a damn girl. “Tell me about it. I dropped a fucking jack on my foot for her. I feel like Pain Bot from Teen Titans. All I know is pain.”
Rob bursts into a fit of laughter. “Are you seriously quoting a kids’ cartoon right now? You crack me up.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious though, Beau. You can’t keep living in the past like this. It’s not good. I know you loved her but you have to put it in the past and at least attempt to move on.”
My eyes widen and I stick my phone back in my pocket. I run my hand through my hair and let out a sigh. “It’s love, not loved. I love her and maybe I’m not ready to move on. You don’t know how bad it hurts, Rob. There’s this empty ache in my chest and I don’t know if it will ever heal. I feel like I’ve lost my reason to live. What do I have if I don’t have her?”
“Damn, I knew it was bad but I didn’t know it was this bad.” Rob shakes his head. “And you got nowhere the whole time you were there?”
“It was a waste of a trip. I should have made my move sooner. It’s all my fault.”
“We live and learn, brother. I know you don’t believe it but in time things will get better. It has to.”
“Yeah, well I’d like to know when.” I fight the urge to grab my phone again. I know there’s nothing on there that will bring me out of this funk. But there’s beer, lots of beer, and tonight I’ll drink to try and forget.
***
“Beau,” Sienna calls in a sing-song voice. “Guess who I talked to today?”
Great, she’s drunk and getting ready to ruin my night. I’ve managed to do just fine over the last few hours.
“Who?” I ask. I dread what she’s going to say.
“Shay! Oh my god, Beau, she sounded like the old Shay on the phone. It was awesome!” She jumps and nearly spills her drink on me. I cock my head to the side and just gawk at her.
“The old Shay? You really need to quit drinking.” I try to reposition myself in the chair. I reach for my beer and take a sip. I really don’t like Sienna at the moment.
“Yes, dummy, the old Shay. The ‘I don’t take shit from anyone’ Shay. My best friend in the world Shay.” She beams.
“I don’t understand nor do I care, Sienna. Please drop it.”
“But I know a secret!” She cackles as she finally succeeds in spilling her drink. Thank God it falls in the opposite direction. “Fuck, there goes my drink. I guess I need another.”
Before I can tell her she doesn’t need another, she skips off to the refrigerator. I shake my head in disbelief. Why the hell did I think I could ever have a normal time here tonight? Now I just want to go to bed, at least then I may be able to escape some of this nightmare.
I manage to pull myself up from the chair and grab ahold of my crutches before I can lose my balance. I don’t even bother to look for Rob and let him know where I’m going. I make my way inside and sigh when my eyes land on the mob of people waiting to get into the bathroom. I mutter exc
use me as I attempt to pass through them. My room is just a few doors over and once I’m inside, I lock the door behind me. I don’t want any drunken idiots coming in here and disturbing my sleep, especially Sienna.
I lie on my bed and pull my phone out of my pocket. To help keep my sanity, I turn it off and toss it on the nightstand. My eyelids begin to grow heavy. I didn’t know I was this tired until my body hits the soft mattress. Once my foot is propped up on a pillow, I pull the covers over me and become dead to the world. I fall into a deep, dark sleep, but all I can dream about is Sienna and her crazy antics as the hole in my heart grows deeper.
***
The banging on my door pulls me from my sleep, scaring the shit out of me. Who the fuck is banging on my door? I look at my phone to check the time. It’s a little after three in the morning and I was sleeping so damn well. I grab my crutches and make my way to the door. I grumble I’m coming to whoever may be on the other side. I pretty much want to pound someone’s face in for this. I unlock the door and come face to face with Rob. He stares at me with his eyebrows scrunched. He’s clearly a little upset and I’m sure I’m about to hear all about it.
“When the hell did you come inside?” he asks. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Well, obviously you weren’t looking hard enough. Maybe you should have asked Sienna why I came inside.” I rub my eyes.
Destined for A Dirt Road (Dirt Road Summer #2) Page 6
