Sienna stands on the opposite side of the bed and grabs her other bruised hand. She closes her eyes and takes several deep breaths. When her eyes open, the tears continue to fall. “Shay, you’re my best friend in the whole damn world. You always have been and I love you. I need you, Shay, and so does Beau and that baby. You’re a fighter and I want you to fight, Shay. Oh, and while I’m here, I’m going to kick that doctor’s ass.”
As badly as I want to laugh right now, I keep it to myself. Of course Sienna had to say something like that. “You aren’t the only one who wants to kick his ass,” a voice says from the door.
I look over to see Farrah standing there holding a clipboard. “Hey Farrah.” I try my best to sound glad to see her but under the circumstances my voice comes out dull and lifeless.
“Hey Beau. Good to see you again even though the circumstances are terrible. She’s a fighter, this one, but you already knew that. She was awake earlier but she keeps dozing in and out. I’m just here to read a few machines, so don’t mind me.”
“Thanks, Farrah. How’s Branson?” I ask to change the subject. I need something to somewhat deter my mind from this harsh reality.
“Oh, he’s Branson. I’ll tell him you’re in town. I bet he’d be glad to see you. I think he wants to cry sometimes.” Turning to Sienna, Farrah says, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Farrah, I work with Shayleigh.”
“I’m Sienna, her friend from Louisiana. Is she going to be okay?” Sienna asks, holding tightly to Shay’s hand. She won’t let go. If only Shay could see us here now.
“So far she’s doing great and it should stay that way.” Farrah gets busy taking care of her nursing duties. Her eyes get a little misty as she glances down at Shay. “Someone will be in shortly to check the baby’s heartbeat. Oh, congrats, Beau. I know this was a shitty way to find out, but at least it’s yours and not that asshole’s.”
I don’t know whether to say thank you or not, so I just nod. She turns and walks out, leaving Sienna and I alone with Shay once more. We sit there for a few more moments before another nurse comes walking in. This one doesn’t say anything to either of us but she does place a monitor on Shay’s belly. She moves it around several times before a thump finally fills the air. My ears perk up. My heart swells with pride just thinking about how that little baby inside of Shay is something we created. The baby is fine, thank God. Just as quickly as the nurse came in, she walks out.
“That was pretty cool,” Sienna whispers. “That little tiny baby is surviving.”
My eyes mist as I think about how amazing that was to hear the baby. I got to hear the heartbeat and now I’m suddenly floating on cloud nine. Now I just need Shay to get better and get out of this hospital, then life would be complete.
I glance at the clock and realize we’ve been in here a while. I don’t want to hog all the time from Shay’s dad, so I pry my hand away from hers and stand leaning forward to her beautifully bruised face. I lean down and softly kiss her forehead, hoping just maybe she will open her eyes, but her breathing remains even and she continues to sleep. “I love you.”
Sienna kisses the hand she was holding and slowly lets go. I don’t blame her. I found it hard as hell to let go of Shay’s hand. We walk out the door together before both turning back one last time. I still can’t believe that’s her lying there in that bed.
Shay’s dad meets us on the other side of the door with a raised eyebrow. “Has anything changed?”
“No sir, she’s still resting.”
He looks up at me, attempting to give an assuring smile. “She needs all the rest she can get. She’ll wake up soon.”
Relief washes over me. At least something is going right. “Can I buy you lunch? It’s the least I can do for you letting us come out here to see Shay.”
He shakes his head. I get it, he doesn’t want to leave the hospital in case she wakes soon. I don’t blame him, I don’t want to leave either, but I thought maybe, just maybe, I could help out. “Not right now, but maybe in a little bit. I need to check in at my office and make a few other phone calls, and then if you’re still up to it, we can all grab lunch. Oh and Beau, you can call me Paul.”
“Thank you, Paul.” I hesitate at calling him by his first name. I was raised to call everyone by mister and missus, this will surely take some time getting used to.
Paul steps away, pressing his cell phone to his ear. I turn to face Sienna and Rob, who both look exhausted. I’m exhausted too, but I don’t plan on leaving. “If you two want my share of the hotel, I’ll give you my money and you can go check in and rest. I’ll stay here.”
Sienna looks up and shakes her head. “I’m not leaving Shay.”
“And if Sienna is staying, so am I. We’re in this together,” Rob says, placing his hand on my shoulder.
The hospital feels like it’s beginning to close in on me. “I’m going to get some air, I’ll be right back.”
Sienna and Rob turn to walk with me but I politely tell them I need a moment alone. I did the best I could to hold it together with Sienna inside the room, now I just want to curl up into a big ball and cry like a baby. I walk down the sterile hall, not caring to make eye contact with anyone I pass. My eyes see one thing and one thing only: the door ahead. I reach for my keys as I step outside. My feet move one in front of the other all the way to the truck, and before I can even open the door, I drop to my knees and let the tears fall. So many things could have gone differently and I think back to last summer. I shouldn’t have tried to push my feelings on her. I shouldn’t but I did, just like I shouldn’t have waited so damn long to let her know I was here in Missouri. I ran out like a coward, not bothering to hear she didn’t pick the doctor. I should have stayed and fought for her. Maybe she wouldn’t be lying there in that hospital struggling to survive. My chest begins to ache as the tears stream. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I can’t be strong all the time and I couldn’t let anyone see me this way. I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could, just to know she would be okay. I know that sounds crazy as shit but I’d do it, I swear. I love her, plain and simple. I never knew it was possible to love someone this much and all I can do it hope that when she does awaken, she’ll be happy to see me.
Chapter 15
Beau
A few hours have passed and still no changes. The baby is still doing fine and Shay comes in and out of her slumber. I missed it earlier when she woke. I was outside having some air. If Sienna and I would have stayed inside the room just a few moments longer we would have gotten to actually talk to her. Now we’re all waiting patiently. My dad texted earlier asking where I was and it suddenly hit me that in my rush to get the hell out of town, I never told him what was going on. He scolded me like a child until I could finally get him to listen so I could explain what happened. His hard voice turned sympathetic as he asked me to keep him posted. After thanking him and apologizing a million times for not telling him sooner, I hung up and turned to face Paul.
“I’ll take that lunch now if you’re game. There’s still a little time until the next visitation.”
“Yes sir, I am. What is there to eat around here?” Deep down I’m praying he doesn’t suggest cafeteria food. I don’t think I could stomach that right now.
“There’s a good burger joint up the road.” He waves Sienna and Rob over, telling them they’re coming to eat with us. They didn’t really have a choice anyway.
Minutes later I’m biting into the juiciest burger I’ve ever tasted. I fully understand what it means to have an orgasm in your mouth now. My taste buds are practically screaming for more. Shay’s dad, I mean Paul, gets his serious father face on and begins asking questions, starting with why I left town. I can’t blame him. The trip down memory lane is painful but he’s just asking a question, so I answer him honestly. Sienna nearly chokes at my brutal honesty but I hold nothing back from him. By the time the conversation is over, he’s more than fully aware of how I feel about his daughter and by the twinkle in
his eyes, he’s quite okay with it. They say meeting the parents is the hardest part—hell, I was nervous when I ran into him outside of her house that day, but something about telling the man you are in love with his daughter just takes the damn cake. He never reached across the table to strangle me, so I can only thank God.
Sienna reaches into her purse and pulls her phone out. Her red nails tap impatiently on the phone screen, if I didn’t know her to type so harshly I’d think she was getting ready to shatter her screen. She looks up when she realizes no one at the table is talking anymore, we’re all staring at her.
“What? I’m just texting my mom to let her know what’s going on.” She places the phone back in her purse and crosses her arms over her chest.
“No offense, babe, but I thought we were going to have to go get you a new phone. That poor screen takes a damn beating from you,” Rob jokes. She sticks her tongue out and uncrosses her arms long enough to grab a sip of her water.
“I’m not trying to rush lunch but it’s almost time for visitation and I’d like to see if Shay is awake,” Sienna says with a small voice.
Paul nods in agreement and we all stand. I grab a few dollars out of my wallet and toss them haphazardly onto the table. Without another word, we all walk back out to the vehicle. Everyone begins little conversations with each other on the ride back except me. I’m not at a loss for words, I’m just thinking about finally being able to see Shay awake.
“Hey Paul?”
“Yeah?”
“Does she know I’m here?”
“I would think she knows since you talked to her, but if you’re asking if I told her, I didn’t. I figured you would want to surprise her since you two have a lot to talk about.”
Oh hell, now the pressure is really on. She has no clue I’m here unless she was half awake when Sienna and I were there earlier, but if she were awake, I would like to think she would have fully opened her eyes to acknowledge me. Even though we’re right up the road, the ride back suddenly seems longer. My mind is weighing heavily on the situation at hand. I’ve dealt with so much rejection from her in the past year. If she really does push me away while she’s lying in a hospital bed, then to me that would be the ultimate rejection. Then and only then would I realize it’s just time to let it go. Until then, I’m going to walk into that ICU room and hope everything works out in my favor.
***
It’s the same routine as earlier once we grab our badges. Sienna and I wash our hands again. I’m thorough, but at the same time I’m hurrying. I’m anxious to get into the room. My heart is racing faster than it was before in pure anticipation. Please let her be awake. Please don’t let her reject me again. My mind wanders back to the baby. Is she even going to tell me about the baby? I suppose the best thing to do is just play dumb like I have no idea she’s pregnant. It’s going to be like pulling teeth, painful and plain hard. I have to do it though, I can’t just bust into her room and start demanding why I haven’t been told yet that we’re having a baby.
Sienna glances over at me and begins fidgeting with her hands. She’s still so nervous to see Shay and I don’t blame her. She just happens to show it a little more than I do. I’m back to my tough-boy-show-no-sad-emotion façade. “Do you think she’ll be awake?”
“She will be. She’s going to want to see you, of course.” Reassurance is the key. If I can reassure Sienna, then ultimately I can reassure myself. That’s what this is all about. I’m psyching myself up, telling myself that this is all going to work out.
The door to Shay’s room is open. My palms begin to sweat. Great. I just can’t seem to hold it together and my nerves are getting the best of me. Sienna reaches for the doorknob and the thought to turn and just run crosses my mind. I’d do it if I didn’t know for sure that she’d kick my ass all over this hospital. Holding my breath seems to be the answer right now. Maybe if I hold it long enough, I’ll cut off my oxygen supply and faint right here. Then Shay wouldn’t have to see me and potentially rip my heart to shreds yet again.
I slowly walk inside and the faintest voice fills the room. She’s awake and the sound of her voice is music to my ears. “Sienna, what are you doing here?”
A sob escapes Sienna and she soon leaves me standing in the doorway to run to the bed. I’m exposed right here but she has yet to notice me thanks to Sienna’s distraction. For the time being, I can weigh my options. It’s torture, there’s no joke in that. Pure fucking torture. For the second time, I’ve hauled ass on a whim to Missouri and just like the previous time, I have no clue how this is going to go down.
“Shay, I was so worried about you. I heard everything on the phone. I’m so glad you’re okay, and the baby. You scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m sorry,” Shay whispers as she slowly reaches for Sienna’s hand. “I’ve never been more terrified in my life. God was looking out for me, that’s the only thing I know.”
“He sure was. Never scare me like that again, okay? Promise me.”
“I promise.” Shay closes her eyes for a moment and then reopens them. “How did you get here?”
Sienna pauses before choosing her words. She turns back to see me leaning against the doorframe and lets out a sigh. Here goes nothing. My cover is about to be blown to smithereens. If I want to escape with my heart, it’d probably be a good idea to slip out before she can out me, but like a fool I stand there and just wait.
“Um, Beau drove Rob and me here.”
“Beau’s here?” she squeaks. I honestly can’t tell if she’s upset or a little happy that I’m here, so I stay glued to my spot on the doorframe. This should probably be the time where I step forward and talk to her but I remain put.
“Yeah, Shay, he is. He’s right over there by the door.”
“Does he know?” she whispers. It was a pretty shitty whisper considering I heard. Maybe it was meant for me to hear. My face heats and this must be what it feels like to be the elephant in the room. I want to speak up and remind them I’m right here but I don’t.
Sienna simply nods. I roll my eyes and decide it’s time to step forward. She could just ask me myself if I know or she could just tell me. My feet move heavily to the bedside and when I come in view, my heart just about implodes in my chest. This is a hell of a lot harder than when I showed up at her house unexpected.
She tries to give me a smile but with her face being bruised, it ends up looking rather painful. Seeing her sleeping and seeing her awake is like entering two different worlds. Even though she’s the same, it’s still quite a shock. She doesn’t seem to act like it affects her, though. That’s my tough Shay. With one small glance at Sienna, she asks her to give us a moment alone. My first instinct tells me to grab ahold of Sienna and beg her to stay. It’s not like we’re going to talk about anything she doesn’t already know. Sienna, however, nods in understanding and brushes past me on her way out. She stops and whispers it’ll be okay before vanishing out the door. I turn, trying to catch her one more time, maybe for reassurance more than anything, but she’s already vanished. That’s about right.
Shay just looks at me with her bruised face and softly pats the bed with her hand. That’s my cue to get closer and I obey the command. I stop in front of her and fight every urge to let my emotions run loose. She reaches for my hand and I willingly place mine in hers.
“I can’t believe you came back,” she whispers as she gently squeezes my hand.
I reach over with my other hand and brush a piece of hair away from her face. I’m careful not to brush too harshly, her bruises look awfully painful. “Shay, you scared us all. When Sienna came crying, telling us what happened, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to drive up that night but we had to wait until morning.”
“You guys party too much,” she tries to joke. Her attempt at laughing ends quickly as she winces in pain.
“Be careful, Shay,” I warn her in all seriousness. “I know seeing me was probably the last thing you wanted but I just had to come see you.”
&nbs
p; “No, it’s okay. I’m glad you did. There’s uh, there’s something I need to tell you. I wasn’t sure how I was going to, but I suppose now is better than later.”
I feel sort of shitty already knowing what she’s about to tell me. She knows I already know though, because she asked Sienna. Oh well, at least it’s coming out of her mouth. That’s all I want, to hear it from her, and at least now she wants to tell me.
“You can tell me anything, Shay,” I tell her as I mentally prepare myself for what she’s about to say.
She draws in a deep breath before letting it out. “Not long before my accident, some really shitty things happened. I realized that you were right about Wyatt.” My face scrunches in disgust at the sound of his name. I can’t help it, I truly hate that bastard. “Sorry, that isn’t what I’m really trying to tell you. I didn’t choose him, Beau, I needed you to know that but it was too late. You left town and I didn’t think it mattered anymore.”
Christ, why couldn’t she have told me this when I lived here? Who knows, we might have been living some happily ever after life. I run my hands through my hair. As nice as it is to hear she never picked him, I was sort of expecting to hear the real news that everyone is talking about. “It may not have brought me running back, but it would have been nice to know.”
“I don’t blame you. I’m beyond a terrible person. I’ve strung you along and for what? Just to hurt you. All I can hope is one day you can forgive me for everything I’ve put you through.”
“You’re not a terrible person, Shay. I tried pushing myself on you when I should have respected your boundaries. You were seeing someone and I stomped my way through, trying to be all macho.”
“You’re kind of sexy when you’re macho,” she says with a low chuckle. That chuckle turns into a cough and again she winces in pain.
Destined for A Dirt Road (Dirt Road Summer #2) Page 10
