Risk

by Baylin Crow

  “Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but I took you up on your offer. I didn’t feel like answering my uncle’s questions about all of this.” He gestured in a circle around his mouth, and my gaze was drawn there. I bit my bottom lip hard, trying to control my body’s reaction. He seriously had the most fuckable mouth and I wanted a taste.

  “I wouldn’t have offered if I’d minded.” I still wasn’t sure why I was doing all of this, only that, when it came to him, I couldn’t seem to think rationally. Being attracted to him, because of who he was, I should keep as much distance as possible between us. I was banking on the fact that I had a lot of discipline and self-control. And of course that he was straight. Probably.

  When I rounded the couch and sat down in an exhausted heap on the opposite end as Drew, I saw what was playing on TV. “Bridesmaids?” I chuckled.

  “Hey, it was in your cabinet!”

  Yeah, because it was funny as hell. Drew yawned as he stretched his entire body, lying back down.

  “What’s this?” I asked, pointing to an open notepad with a pencil on top sitting on the coffee table.

  “Uh, well, sometimes I like to draw, and I found it in one of the kitchen drawers. I hope that’s okay.”

  Instead of answering him, I picked up the pad and looked over the three drawings he’d made. Two of them were parts of the skyline visible from the balcony.

  He was good. Amazing, actually.

  The drawings were so realistic, and I had to admit that I was impressed. When I looked at the third drawing, I froze. Drew had drawn a replica of the tattoo over my chest and let the picture fade out where it would have gone over my shoulder.

  When I glanced over at him, his eyes were on the TV, but his flushed cheeks told me he was aware I’d found the drawing of me. Well, part of me. I could come to only two conclusions. Maybe three.

  Either he’d been drawn to the art and had seen it enough at the gym to memorize it or he’d been eyeing me much the same way I did him. Or maybe it was a combination of both. Before I let the thought sink in, I reminded myself that the last two scenarios were unlikely.

  “These are really good,” I told him.

  He shrugged, not looking my way, and continued to keep his eyes glued to the movie while wrapped in my favorite blanket. I hated admitting to myself how much I liked the visual.

  “When do you want to go home?”

  Drew jerked his head around and looked at me, surprised, before he stood and began putting my blanket back over the couch. “Oh, right. Whenever you’re ready, I guess. Or I can just take a cab.”

  He didn’t look ready to leave at all, which pleased and confused me at the same time.

  “Don’t like it there or something?” I asked, curious as why he seemed hesitant to leave.

  “No, they are great, but I’m twenty-two. Living at my uncle’s, even in the guesthouse, just feels weird.” His nose scrunched as if it bothered him. I couldn’t argue with that. I’d moved out as soon as I’d received my first check.

  “How long are you planning on staying at your uncle’s?”

  “I don’t know. Hopefully not much longer.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I have enough saved now, or at least I will this next Friday, for first month’s rent if I can find someone looking for a roommate. I’ve looked through some ads, but so far, in my price range, most are either too far from the gym or sound shady. I did find one that looked promising though. I’m supposed to go over tomorrow to check it out.”

  He didn’t have a car, and I responded before I could think it through. “I guess, if you want, you can stay here again tonight and I’ll take you by there. I don’t train on Sundays, but I do have a meeting with my manager at ten.” What is wrong with me? This guy turned me into a reckless mess every time he was close.

  He settled back down onto the couch. “You sure you’re okay with me staying?”

  Was I sure? Fuck, no. If anything, this was probably a horrible idea.

  “Again, I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure,” I lied and pulled the blanket back down and tossed it at him.

  He smiled as he caught a corner of it and draped it over his lower half. “Thanks, man.” I could tell he meant it, which made me feel a lot better about offering.

  I finished watching the movie with him and then we popped in another. It was weird just sitting around and watching movies with someone. My stomach grumbled.

  “Shit, did you eat today?” I stood, starving and ready to sit down and stuff myself. He was throwing me completely off my schedule.

  “I ate the bagels. Thank you for that by the way. I raided your kitchen too.” He gave me a guilty smile, but I didn’t care. I hadn’t expected him to stay hungry. “Other than all those containers in the refrigerator, it looks like you bought the entire produce department and protein aisle, but forgot to buy the stuff that tastes good. I wasn’t sure what to do with that, but I made a sandwich.”

  I chuckled. “It’s called healthy food. You should try it.” I raised a brow.

  He pulled up his shirt showing off his slim but defined torso, and I sucked in a sharp breath, stifling the groan crawling up my throat at the sight of all that flawless pale skin, small nipples, and that thin line of light hair trailing down into the top of the sweatpants he’d borrowed. They were too big for him and had been rolled up at least twice, but they were mine and I liked him wearing them.

  “Fast metabolism. I don’t need that stuff and I’m not trying to stay all perfect like you.” He froze and a red flush stole up his neck and into his cheeks. My dick twitched. He turned away and coughed into his closed fist. “Besides, I don’t know how to cook. If I can’t just grab it and eat it or pop it in the microwave, I’m a little lost.”

  “You should learn to cook. You’d be surprised. Some of that stuff is really good,” I suggested. I’d never tell him that I sometimes craved a big greasy burger or other junk as much as anyone else, but I did whatever it took to stay in top shape, especially right now.

  “I’ll have to take your word for it. I was just joking anyway. I’ll eat just about anything.”

  I groaned and he gave me a questioning look. Not going there, Ramsey. I cleared my throat. “Well, I’m going to make something. I’m starving.”

  He licked his lips and my eyes locked in on the movement. I was pretty sure he was trying to drive me insane. “What are you making, and wait, you cook? I thought you had a chef or something.”

  I laughed, pulling myself back together. “Negative on the chef, but I do like to cook. I was planning on throwing together a shepherd’s pie.”

  “I don’t know what a shepherd’s pie is. And what’s with all the containers?” he gestured toward the kitchen.

  “It’s just lots of vegetables and some ground lean turkey. It’s one of my favorites. And those are prepared meals. Just easier that way.”

  His brows drew down as his nose scrunched. “Does it have peas in it?”

  “Are peas a problem?” I smiled, holding in a laugh.

  “Whatever you make is fine. Do you ever get tired of eating like that?” he asked like he was genuinely concerned that I didn’t get to pig out on whatever I wanted to.

  I shrugged. “Just goes along with the job. And I’ll leave the peas out.”

  The look of relief on his face made me laugh and he smiled back.

  “Better you than me,” he teased and turned back to the TV.

  After I prepared the dish and put it in the oven, I couldn’t help but glance across the room. Drew’s mouth was moving, and it took me a minute to figure out what he was doing. He was quoting the movie word for word, and I smiled. I told myself to stop and that I shouldn’t, but I continued to watch him, warring with myself. I had to be careful and step lightly where he was concerned. I absolutely could not let him figure out that I was attracted to him.

  Thirty minutes later, the food was on the table.

  “Wow this actually looks pretty good.” He sniffed. “Sme
lls good too.” He sat and looked ready to dig in.

  “Eat,” I instructed, taking my own bite. I had to admit I was a good cook. Thanks, Mom. That was one good thing I could say for her.

  He took a sip of the tea I’d poured him, and suddenly, he was sputtering. “What the hell, man? Where’s the sugar?”

  At first, his loud, accusatory tone took me off guard, but then I lost it, not sure why I found that so funny. The look of genuine offense he cast his glass was too much. I sipped my water to calm myself down.

  “I guess there’re two things you don’t like. Peas and unsweetened tea,” I barely choked out.

  He groaned and the sound shot straight to my cock. Were there any sounds he made that didn’t make me want to bend him over and slide inside his tight ass? I shifted myself under the table.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, seemingly embarrassed. “Wasn’t expecting it so it…” He trailed off. “It’s not bad.” He took another sip as if to say, “See?”

  “Would you rather have some water?” I asked with a grin.

  “I’ll get it. Thanks.” He grabbed a water bottle and returned to the table. “I really am sorry. That was rude of me.”

  “It was funny. Your face…” I laughed again. He narrowed his eyes, and I raised my hands, placating him. “So what do you normally eat?”

  He tilted his head to one side then the other. “I don’t know, real food like hamburgers, fries, lasagna. You know stuff with flavor. Mags, my aunt, is an awesome cook too,” he said like it was an obvious answer. My mouth watered.

  “Okay, new rule, no mention of those foods again in this house.”

  His lips slowly slid into a devious smile. “Why? Tempted?”

  Oh God, that look in his eyes with those words, I was definitely tempted, but not for food. It made me frustrated that I couldn’t get a hold on the way he made me feel, so I lashed out without meaning to.

  “Okay, fine. The diet isn’t the best-tasting, but the results I get in the cage are worth it. At least I have something to be proud of,” I spit out, angrier at myself for wanting him and knowing he was off limits. His face blanched, and I immediately regretted it because of what it implied. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that at all,” I muttered, shutting my eyes tight.

  “No, don’t apologize. You’re right, I don’t have anything. Besides, I was acting like an ungrateful prick. Thanks for making lunch, dinner. Shit, what time is it?” he rambled, and like the fuck I was, I couldn’t respond. “I really appreciate it. Um, you mind if I take a shower and go rest for a while? You have to go back to the gym anyway, right?” He tried to grin, but it fell short.

  I looked away. “Yeah, sure. I’ll have to leave in about an hour. You’re welcome to do whatever you want.”

  “Cool,” he said and disappeared down the hall.

  Fuck! Feeling like a complete dick, I slumped down in my chair because, by way of Pete, I knew Drew had a hard go of it, even if Pete hadn’t elaborated on his situation, and was clawing his way out. He did have something to be proud of. I’d seen it in his sketchbook. I’d seen it in the way he worked at the gym. While it clearly wasn’t a dream job, he stayed busy. Earned every penny and probably then some.

  I suddenly wasn’t hungry. Standing, I grabbed both Drew’s and my plates and dumped our unfinished dinner into the trash before tossing them into the sink with a clang. My head pounded as I padded down the hall to my own room where I had every intention of figuring out how to fix my fuck up.

  After I’d gotten home later that night, I’d wanted to talk, but Drew had been asleep. I was surprised he’d stayed after the way we’d left things. Exhausted, I had dragged myself to bed, promising tomorrow I would apologize and try to make it right.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ASHER

  Sleep hadn’t come easily, and I’d only managed to snag a few hours. Drew had tried to hide the hurt, but his face had betrayed him and that expression haunted me. It was possibly the stupidest thing I’d ever said in my life and I wanted to take it back. I couldn’t, but I’d do my best to make sure he knew he had every right to be proud of himself. I never lashed out like that, and he hadn’t deserved it.

  With the intention of making Drew breakfast and sitting down to talk to him about the night before, I rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats. When I stepped into the hall, it was quiet. Too quiet. I checked his room, and when I didn’t find him, inspected the rest of the apartment, including the balcony. He was gone. My stomach twisted and I swallowed a phantom lump in my throat. Irrational worry dug its unrelenting fingers deep into me, and I rushed back to my room. Shit. Without bothering to shower, I threw on the first outfit I got my hands on, and was in my car within ten minutes. The rental he was going to see wasn’t in a good neighborhood, and I didn’t like the idea of him going there alone. He’d set the appointment for nine thirty, and it was nine. Not knowing what time he’d left, I wasn’t sure if I’d catch up to him or if he’d grabbed a cab. I had to try.

  The back of a man with almost blond hair and clothes I recognized came into view as he walked along with sidewalk. I pulled flush with the curb next to him.

  I rolled down my window. “Get in.”

  Drew stopped, and his gaze shot to the left, meeting mine.

  “I’m good.” His eyes darted away, and he waved in the direction he’d been walking. “It’s not much farther.”

  “Please,” I said for the first time in a long time. He seemed to be having some sort of internal debate. “I just want to talk, and I’ll take you the rest of the way.”

  He sighed and then pulled the door open and climbed in.

  My fingers drummed against the steering as I eyed him. “Why didn’t you take a cab?”

  “Just needed some time to think.” He shrugged while messing with the buckle, not looking my way.

  I pulled out onto the road and began my apology. “You didn’t deserve what I said last night.” Drew sat stiff while staring out the side window. “It wasn’t right for me to say that. I saw those drawings, and I’ve never seen anyone with that kind of talent. That’s something huge for you to be proud of.”

  His shoulders relaxed the smallest bit. I continued, saying everything I’d gone over in my head even though it would never be enough. “I had something on my mind that I was struggling with and took it out on you. I swear to you that it’ll never happen again. I don’t know how to make it right or to make you believe me, but I wanted to let you know that I think you are an incredible artist. I can barely draw stick figures.” I hoped for a laugh but didn’t get one.

  I wasn’t sure I was handling this well, and he wasn’t giving me any clues whether I was doing it right.

  After what seemed like an eternity, he turned toward me. “You’re right. I didn’t deserve that. Maybe I said something that offended you. I don’t know, but if you had just told me that, I would’ve understood. I may not be rich. Hell, I may not really have anything going for me right now. But I will one day, and no one is going to make me feel like I’m worthless.”

  His eyes weren’t hard. He didn’t seem angry, but he did want to be heard. I was listening to every word. He was demanding respect, which I would gladly give him.

  I winced. “You’re right. About everything. I don’t expect instant forgiveness and would understand if you never wanted anything to do with me again. We don’t really know each other, but one day, I hope that will change. Before I put my foot in my mouth, I was genuinely having a good time with you.”

  “Me, too,” he admitted and sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

  “I understand.” My fingers tightened around the wheel. I’d screwed up and now it was up to him whether it was a forgivable offense. One I wouldn’t repeat.

  The quiet now suffocated the cab of my truck for the next five minutes. “Turn here. The apartments are on the left.”

  I followed his instructions and pulled into the parking lot of a questionable-looking apartment complex. I couldn’t quite keep the
worried look off my face and Drew caught it.

  “Don’t,” he said with narrowed eyes, stopping me from voicing my concerns. I bit my tongue, knowing I shouldn’t say anything.

  “At least give me your number, so I can check in to make sure you survived,” I joked but was completely serious.

  “That’s not even close to funny.” He scowled but held his hand out for my phone. I gave it to him. A few seconds later, his phone buzzed from his pocket. “Now we both have each other’s number.”

  “How are you getting back?” I asked, taking my phone back, accidentally brushing his finger with mine.

  His next breath was harsh and the hand I’d touched balled in his lap. “I’ll grab a cab this time.”

  I nodded, satisfied. “Okay then. Good luck.” I wasn’t sure I meant the last part. It bothered me that he might be living there soon. If there was a way to help him find a better place without offending him, I would do it without hesitation.

  He walked up a flight of stairs and knocked on the door without glancing back in my direction. When the door opened and Drew disappeared through it, I pulled away.

  ---

  Jerry had been droning on and on for twenty minutes about the latest news concerning public opinion on my career. Making appearances and what he needed from me. One day I’d be able to quit this charade, and the media would move on. But if my outings suddenly stopped, it might raise a few questions.

  I had a few questions of my own, like when would it be enough. How much more did I fucking need to do? We usually didn’t meet on Sunday, but he was going out of town tomorrow and wanted to check in before he left. Not how I wanted to spend my day off.

  I was having a hard time paying attention. My mind was still on Drew and if he’d agreed to move in with that guy. I didn’t like the idea of him living with any guy, which was ridiculous.

  When Jerry’s cell phone rang and he took the call, I breathed a sigh of relief. While I waited, I pulled out my phone to text Drew.