Jennifer and her friend Stace had seemed like relatively normal children to him up until the moment they saw the hordes of small marauders tearing from the carousel to the puppet theatre to the child-sized railroad that wound its way around the perimeter of the center court.
"Can we sit in the front row, Mommy?" Jennifer's eyes were wide.
"Only if you promise to behave yourselves and not stand up on your chairs."
"We promise," the two children said in unison.
"You believe them?" Jake asked as the girls took their seats right in front of the puppet theatre.
Megan shrugged her lovely shoulders. "Hope springs eternal," she said. "Ask any mother."
He watched her as she watched their daughter. It occurred to him that the girl he'd loved and lost had been replaced by a woman he would never get to know. He'd shared her body but would probably never be lucky enough to share her soul and that struck him as a bloody shame.
The puppet show began on schedule and, to Jake's amazement, the kids quieted down enough for the performers to be heard.
"They'll be busy for a while," he said to Megan. "Why don't we get some coffee."
Megan shook her head. "I don't want to leave them alone."
"We won't leave the mall."
"They're my responsibility," she said, her voice soft. "I have to stay."
It was a dangerous world and children were the most vulnerable of them all. The fact that their daughter was a healthy and happy six-year-old was a testament to Megan's devotion and care--and another example of all the things he'd never understand about raising a child.
They sat together on a bench not too far from the puppet theatre.
"Sometimes I look at Jenny and I wonder how on earth I ever believed I could bring up a child. She's so little, so trusting--" Her voice caught and he put his arm around her shoulders. She didn't move away.
"You're doing a great job with her, Meggie. She's bright and opinionated and--"
She met his eyes. "Stubborn as hell?"
He grinned. "I was saving that for last."
"She's our daughter, Jake. There's no doubt about that."
"Poor kid," said Jake with a laugh.
"Yeah," said Megan softly. "Poor kid."
"She doesn't like me much."
"She doesn't really know you."
"Why don't I think that would help."
"Maybe she senses how uncomfortable you are around her. Kids are amazingly intuitive."
"It's more than that. When she looks at me I feel like she knows every lousy thing I've done in my life."
Megan chuckled. "She's a brilliant child but you're giving her way too much credit."
"She sees something, Meggie. She knows I don't have what it takes."
"Maybe she sees what you want her to see."
He had no answer for that. He doubted if there was one.
They sat together, his arm around her shoulders, her hand in his, watching the puppet show and enjoying Jenny's reaction to it. Her face was exceptionally mobile, her expressions perfectly mirroring the action on stage. She was bright, enthusiastic, self-confident as hell. He wasn't sure if he was seeing Megan as a child or the kid he would have been if life had dealt him a different hand.
The puppet show concluded after an endless finale of knock-knock jokes and sing-alongs. The minute the curtain went down, the children exploded into frenzied activity, racing for the bathroom, the mini-train, and the carousel.
"Can we have a ride, Mommy?" Jennifer begged. "Please, please, I promise I'll go to sleep on time tonight."
"Please, Aunt Meg," Stace urged. "Just one ride."
"Go ahead, Aunt Meg," Jake said. "I'll pay for it."
Megan looked at the two little girls then shrugged. "I know when I'm outnumbered."
They bought tickets from a perky little blond in a candy-striped shorts outfit then waited on line.
"Aunt Meg, help me!" Stace ran for a painted pony the second their turn came. "I can't climb up."
Megan hesitated.
"Go ahead," Jake said, sounding more confident than he felt. "I'll help Jennifer."
Jennifer looked up at him and scowled. "I don't want you," she said, standing in front of a palomino with pink flowers painted around his neck. "I want my mommy to help me."
"Sorry, kid," he said, stung. "Looks like you're stuck with me."
Her lower lip jutted forward ominously.
"Hey, none of that." He grabbed her by the waist. She was so tiny, her bones so small and delicate--
"Not that way!" She wriggled out of his grasp, giggling. He'd never heard a sound quite like that before. Not in the house where he grew up. "That tickles."
"What tickles?" he asked, taking her by the waist again. "This?"
Her giggles grew louder. "You're doing it wrong!" He let her slip out of his grasp again. Her golden eyes twinkled with merriment.
"So how do I do it right?"
"Here," she said, pointing under her arms. "That's how my mommy does it."
"How do you know your mommy does it the right way?"
"Because my mommy knows how to do everything."
A lump the size of Gibraltar formed in his throat and he swallowed hard, trying to dislodge it. Out of all their fire and all the pain, he and Megan had created this perfect little girl.
He put his hands under her arms and swung her up onto the painted palomino. "Your mommy is a very good mommy, isn't she?"
Her eyes were on a level with his. "My mommy is the best in the world." She peered at him curiously. "Your eyes are wet."
"No, they're not."
She leaned forward and touched his cheek with the tip of her finger. "Yes, they are."
"I have a cold."
"You haven't sneezed once."
"I have a sneezeless cold."
She giggled again. "You're silly."
"Yeah," he said, smiling at her. "Sometimes I am."
The carousel lurched forward and he made to jump off.
"No!" Jenny grabbed for his shoulder. "You have to stay, too. I'm just a kid. I could fall off."
"We wouldn't want that to happen." He glanced around, surprised to see that for every young rider there was an adult.
"You have to stand real close," Jenny ordered. "Mommy always holds the horse's leash."
"Reins," he corrected. "The horse's reins."
A big dimple appeared in her left cheek. Bloody hell, he thought. My mother had a dimple in her left cheek. He hadn't really thought about his mother in years and now he could see her standing in front of him.
"You didn't laugh," she said, brows slanting into a frown. "I told a joke."
"Sorry, Jennifer. I was thinking of something else." He focused his attentions on her. "Tell me your joke."
"Horses don't have reins," she said, "clouds have rains."
He stared at her, dumbstruck.
"You're not laughing," she said, looking disappointed. "Don't you get it?"
"I get it," he said, as a laugh, a real one, erupted. The kid understood homonyms. His chest felt swollen with something suspiciously like pride.
"Really?" asked Jennifer, her eyes sparkling with delight.
"Really," he said, patting her awkwardly on the head.
He couldn't bring himself to look over at Megan. He felt naked, his emotions exposed. It was like a different man had crawled inside his skin, a man who wanted things he couldn't have. Things he wouldn't know how to handle if he did have them.
"Why do you call me Jennifer?" she asked as the carousel slowed down.
"That's your name, isn't it?"
"Only teachers call me Jennifer." She made a funny face. "You should call me Jenny."
"Jenny." He swung her from the horse, aware of the way her hair smelled of shampoo, of the delicate framework of bone and muscle, of how she was everything good and right about the time he and Megan had spent together.
"Do you have a little girl of your own?"
"Uh--" He hesitated. Talk about a loaded question. "Y
eah," he said after a long moment. "I do."
"I don't have a daddy," she confided. "He and my mommy got di--" She paused, searching for the right word. "Di-vorced a long time ago. We haven't seen him since I was in mommy's tummy."
"Your mom does a good job taking care of you, doesn't she?"
Jenny nodded vigorously. "But I still wish I had a daddy. Daddies take you lots of places." She looked at him. "Besides mommy says she won't have a new baby unless we have a daddy."
There was no safe response so he let her comment pass. He started toward the ticket booth where Megan and Stace were waiting.
"You have to hold my hand," Jenny said, looking up at him. "Don't you hold your little girl's hand? Kids can get lost in malls."
"We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?"
Her hand disappeared within his. A feeling of such tenderness, such painful towering joy washed over him that for a second he couldn't draw a breath. He had to remind himself that it was only for one day.
#
"Are you crying, Aunt Meg?" Stace tugged at her hand. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying, Stace." Megan blinked, wishing little girls didn't have such sharp eyes. "It's my allergies."
"You were crying," Stace persisted, very much the forthright Ingrid's daughter. "I saw you."
Oh, Stace, you'd cry too if you were watching a miracle unfold right before your eyes.
The look on Jake's face was unmistakable. Something had happened on that carousel, some wondrous incredible event that had cracked open his heart and let his daughter creep inside. Jenny was holding Jake's hand and talking animatedly while Jake leaned toward her, listening intently. They looked so perfect together. Right down to the way she tilted her head, Jenny was her father's daughter. People used to comment on the resemblance between Megan and her own father. Megan would beam with pride each time her handsome father pulled out the chair for her in a fancy restaurant and ordered up a Shirley Temple, "on the rocks." Despite everything there were still many happy memories and she wondered if it was fair to deny Jenny the chance to know her own father.
"I rode the pal-o-mino, Mommy." Jenny's face was aglow. "And Jake held the lea--" She stopped and looked up at Jake. "What was that called?"
"Remember your joke," he prodded. "The one about clouds...?"
"The reins!"
"Way to go, Jenny."
Jenny. Megan's heart flipped over inside her chest at the sound of their daughter's name on his lips. She was foolish to feel this way and she knew it. She and Jenny were doing fine on their own. They didn't need any complications.
"Aunt Meg." Stace tugged at her hand. "You said we could go see mommy and my brother now."
Jake met her eyes. "What about lunch?"
"Stace can't wait any longer. I figured we would stop by the hospital for a visit then go on to lunch from there."
"Aw, mommy, do we have to?" Jenny looked disgruntled.
"I thought you wanted to give Aunt Ingrid the flowers."
"After lunch," Jenny said, "not before."
"But you said we could, Aunt Meg!" Stace's big blue eyes welled with tears. "I want to see Charlie."
"Charlie's a dumb name for a baby," said Jenny. "I don't want to go."
"You're dumb!" said Stace.
"You are!"
"One more word, Jenny, and you're going home." It was just a kids' squabble but Megan was embarrassed that it was happening in front of Jake.
"I don't care," Jenny said, lower lip jutting forward. "I--"
Megan watched in amazement as Jake bent down and said something to Jenny in a quiet voice. Jenny's ears reddened and she shook her head. Jake said something more and Jenny nodded.
"I'm sorry," Jenny mumbled. "I want to see the baby, too."
Stace thought about it for a few seconds then smiled. "Okay."
They all started for the parking lot, the two little girls holding hands and walking a few feet ahead of Megan and Jake.
"I won't even ask what you said to her. A wise woman never questions magic."
"A little Aussie charm goes a long way."
"Apparently so."
"She's a smart kid. She didn't want to hurt Stace. She's just put out because Stace has a new brother."
Megan started to laugh. "And if her mother had told her that she would have thrown a tantrum right there in the middle of the mall. Children always seem to listen to strangers--"
#
Conversation stopped cold. If Megan had been looking for a way to bring him back to reality, she'd found it with one sentence.
A stranger, he thought as he drove toward the hospital. His blood ran through Jenny's veins and it didn't matter a damn in the scheme of things. He hadn't seen Megan's belly grow large with their child or felt the child move beneath his hand. He hadn't been there for Jenny's birth, heard her first cry, watched her take her first step. All of the sentimental milestones that marked a family's life and he hadn't been there for a one of them.
When Megan walked out on him she'd changed the course of three lives forever.
One day wasn't going to make a difference.
He'd walk away with a handful of memories and by this time tomorrow Jenny wouldn't remember he existed.
#
"I must say you look disgustingly beautiful for a woman who gave birth less than twelve hours ago." Megan embraced her partner. "You give the pain of childbirth a bad name."
"You should have seen me a few hours ago," Ingrid said with a laugh. "It was not a pretty sight."
In truth Ingrid never looked anything but splendid. And, Megan noted, never more lovely than she did right now with her newborn son cradled against her breast.
"Oh, Ingrid...." Megan's breath caught as she touched the infant's downy cheek. "He's wonderful."
"And hungry," said Ingrid. "I have a feeling this one is going to end up playing for the Dolphins in another few years."
"Stace is beside herself with excitement," Megan said. "All she could talk about was Charlie."
Jenny and Stace had already visited with Ingrid and the baby. Jenny's hand-picked flowers occupied a place of honor next to a splashy bouquet from Miguel's parents. A nurse had taken the girls for a trip to the nursery to look at the pair of twins who'd been born right after Charlie.
"So where is he?" Ingrid asked, moving Charlie to her left breast.
"In the waiting room. He didn't feel right coming in to see you."
"I'm disappointed. I wanted to meet him."
"That's probably one of the reasons he's in the waiting room."
"Don't tell me that gorgeous hunk of man is shy?"
"Who said he's a gorgeous hunk of man?" Megan countered.
"Stace couldn't stop talking about him," she said, kissing Charlie atop his head. "You lied, Meg. Her baby brother ran a poor second."
"I'm afraid Stace has a major crush on Jake." She sighed. "Jenny's not too crazy about him, though."
"That's not what she said to me." Ingrid met Megan's eyes. "She said he'd be a perfect daddy."
"That's not funny, Ingrid."
"It isn't meant to be. Jenny said that he told her he has a little girl of his own."
Megan buried her face in her hands. "I've made a hash of things, Ingrid. A week ago everything made sense, but now...."
"You're in love with him. It isn't a crime."
"I'm not in love with him."
"Right," said Ingrid, glancing down at her chest. "And I'm not breastfeeding." She paused a moment. "When are you going to tell Jenny that he's her father?"
Megan peered at Ingrid from between her fingers. "We're not."
"You're making a big mistake."
"Telling her would be a mistake. Jake has no intention of staying around to be part of her life. In fact he's leaving tonight for God-knows-where. Why complicate things for Jenny?"
"It seems to me they're complicated enough already."
"Back off, Ingrid," Megan said. "I think I know what's best for Jenny."
In
grid stared her down. "And I think I know what's best for you. You're a lousy liar, Megan. Sooner or later you'll have to tell Jenny. Don't make it any more complicated than it already is."
"Thanks for the advice, Doctor Chavez. I'll keep it in mind."
"Being in love isn't a crime."
Megan glared at her friend. "If you weren't breastfeeding, I'd tell you to put up your dukes."
"Face it, Megan. It's Jake Lockwood and it always will be."
"That's a lousy thing to say."
"Like it or not, the three of you are a family. Why not give things a chance? Put all of your cards on the table and let fate decide." Ingrid waited. A broad smile spread across her face. "What's wrong, chica? No answer for that one?"
"I have an answer," Megan said, "and when I think of it I'll let you know."
#
Jake was flipping through a copy of American Baby when Jenny raced into the waiting room then skidded to a halt in front of him. "I saw twins in the baskets! One has red hair and the other's bald!" She grabbed his hand and tugged. "Don't you want to see them?"
"Haven't given it much thought, Jenny." Staring at babies under glass had never been high on his list.
"You have to see them."
"Did you see Charlie yet?"
"He's cute," Jenny allowed, "but the twins are cuter."
He glanced around. "Where's Stace?" The two of them were rarely apart.
"She went home with her aunt Carmen." She tugged at his hand again. "Come on!"
Jenny dragged him down the hall to the nursery where Jake looked through the glass at a smorgasbord of babies on display.
"Those snorkers are little," he said, staring at the sea of tiny faces. "I thought they'd be bigger than that."
Next to him Jenny giggled. "What's a snorker?"
He ruffled her hair. "You were a snorker when you were their age."
"Is that what they call babies in Australia?"
"Sometimes." He looked down at his daughter. "Wonder what you looked like when you were a snorker."
"I was bald," Jenny said proudly. "Mommy told me that she was afraid I'd be bald forever."
You missed it, mate, and there's no way you can ever get it back.
"Your mommy must have been relieved when all of your pretty red hair began to come in."
Her Bad Boy Billionaire Lover (Billionaire Lovers) Page 14
