by Grayson Crew
Ana looks at her and starts to say something, but the large woman interrupts her. She’s crying now and her voice is warbling.
“Sammy, he said it was going to be a better life in the settlement. They told us . . . “ she collapses into her hands. Ana takes one of them. “ . . . When the serum failed, you saw him . . .”
“He was very sick,” says Ana. I forgot that maybe she knows some of these people.
“He listened to the Whispers,” the woman continues, “I told him not to. I heard’em too you know, but I didn’t listen. Sammy, he couldn’t take the headaches, couldn’t stand the pain, so he listened.”
“A lot of people did,” Ana says.
“They . . . shot him down,”
“It wasn’t right for them to do that.”
“Yes it was . . .” the woman says in a steadier voice, “He was changing, he was becoming one of them things. I didn’t want to see him suffer like that.”
“What things?” I ask.
Immediately Ana looks at me and silently mouths “no”, then turns to the woman, “We don’t know that.”
“I do. I saw it. It started with his eyes. They got so dark, and later, his hands, it was like smoke under glass. He was changing.”
“They shouldn’t have executed him,” Ana reiterates.
I turn around and look through a small circular window to the deck. In my reflection, I focus on my eyes.
They’re not dark anymore, not like before. But I had listened: I listened to the Whispers. It must be the Fountain.
I piece together some of what happened on the island from the wild chatter of the survivors.
Dovehaven has natural resources not found anywhere else. Settlers and miners had been excavating deeper into the island. That’s when the Whispers started.
They’re like a naturally occurring security system I guess. They say it’s an airborne virus. If you listen to them, they eventually turn you into a Shadow, making you a guardian of the Haven. If you don’t listen, the headaches will eventually kill you.
Over the past months, the Whispers overtook the settlement and the Camp. I guess the Estate was the last to be invaded. The white flowers have some kind of antibody that halts the progress of the Whispers—but that antibody started weakening.
The Shadows took over. Everyone fled to the coast—not just to evacuate, but because apparently the Shadows avoid going in the water.
I remember the Shadow who locked eyes with me in the elevator shaft. Was it the water that stopped it? Or did it let me live? Why?
Those who weren’t evacuated or slaughtered at the beach were led like lemmings by the Whispers to the tower. No one’s made it to the tower and back before so no one’s been able to verify it was real.
I don’t tell anyone about the Fountain, the water, about how it’s changing me. They say the Fountain is the source of the cure and the source for what makes Dovehaven special.
I ask someone about the projections. Rumor is, part of the Whispers effect is that they can actually materialize memories. Somehow, they communicate between people and places. They can project anything that’s happened from anyone infected.
So why were they guiding me to Jael and to the Fountain? Why aren’t I dead?
By the time my bag of fluid is empty, the cafeteria has quieted down. Most of the victims didn’t make it. Those who did are being separated into different areas.
The more severe are hustled into a makeshift tent where most of the medics are. One of them comes to us and disconnects our IV’s then leads us to rows of sleeping sacks with packs of dry food rations and water.
“It’s gonna be a day or two till we dock in Krung Thep," he says. "Till then, this is the best we can do for you. Just hang in there.”
I slide into my sack because I want something around me, I need warmth. Ana sits on hers with her arms crossed around her knees.
By the time daylight ends, dim emergency lights keep the cafeteria lit. Medics still wander past us, but not with the same panic as earlier.
When I close my eyes, Ana is still sitting up, wrapped around herself. When I open them up again, she’s curled onto her side.
We don’t really sleep, which is all for the better. If I sleep, I’ll dream, and I don’t like what I’ll be dreaming about.
It’s Not Over
Morning light shines straight into my eyes. Ana’s already up and eating her ration for breakfast.
“Hungry?” she asks while holding out a brown bar and green bottle of something. I open up my breakfast ration and slowly take down as much as I can stomach.
Late in the day, we go out onto the deck. Salt air sticks to my face. Gray clouds spread across the sky, blanketing our gray ship.
Gripping the railing, I lean to the edge and look onto the levels of decks below us. We must be more than fifty feet up. The water is mostly calm. I can barely feel the rise and fall of the ship.
Even though Ana is looking down, I can tell she’s looking somewhere else.
“You know most of these people?” I ask.
“Some of them,” she says.
“Friends?”
“No. I don’t have friends, at least not here. But it’s still terrible. They never should have brought us here.”
“What do you mean?” I say.
She looks at me and her expression softens.
“My father, he dragged me out here on a stupid wild dream. I knew it was stupid. But he can’t see it. Anyway, he wasn’t the only one. There were thousands who were all sold on this Haven dream—the thought of resettling the Havens, taming them. They knew the risks, they knew about the Whispers—“
“Are they a virus, like everyone’s saying?” I interrupt.
“No one’s sure, but the serum was promised as a protection. There was no chance of failure. Then it failed.”
She’s looking at the clouds, breathing deeply.
I decide not to ask about her dad.
“I hope he’s dead,” she says.
I grip the rail and look down at the smooth waves, “It’s calming down,” I say, trying to change the subject. I don’t know what it’s like to have a dad--closest I can think of is the guardians.
Other than Hiro, I can see why she’d want one dead. But still, something about the way she said it—it bothers me.
Suddenly she starts hitting the railing and crying.
She’s going to hurt herself, so I grip her hands in mine and squeeze her fists shut.
“I panicked,” she says.
What?
“Under the tower, one of those shadows came for me so I ran. I was terrified, but I didn’t mean to leave you, I’m so sorry. When I ran into the medics, I fought them to come back and help me get you, but they wouldn’t listen,” She covers her face and starts crying more, “I’m so sorry.”
I should tell her how I left Cliff—How I didn’t even check to see if he was still alive; I just left him. But I don’t see how I could’ve without risking everyone else. Maybe I was a coward, maybe not. I hope not. “I’m glad you ran or you’d be dead and maybe I would be too."
She opens her hand a little then squeezes mine. That should feel good. But it doesn’t. I feel like I’m being manipulated. Am I paranoid? What’s wrong with me?
I see a flash of movement to my left, a shadow in the corner of my vision.
“What’s wrong?” Ana asks.
Without answering, I walk to where I saw the shadow, but nothing’s there other than a locked door. There’s a small window covered in so much grime that I can’t see through.
There’s barely a reflection, but still enough of one that I can see the marks on my face. I hear something faint.
Whispers, like a muddle of voices, gliding into my ears. A headache starts to build, then as quick as they came, they go silent.
“See something?”
I look back to my reflection, then back to Ana, trying to push out of my head the possibility of what I just heard, what I think I just saw. I focus on what I
really can see right now.
What do I see? I see a marking, a branding that I can never hide. I’m an item. Forever an item. I’ll never be free like Ana.
“What’s going to happen to me?” I ask her.
She pauses, which means she doesn’t know.
“I don’t know. But stay close to me. I can help you.”
It’s getting chilly on deck so we go back to our section of the cafeteria. Before going in, I look back one more time for the shadow; listen for the Whispers. Nothing.
Sleep
At night when I close my eyes, I see Jael drowning, Kettle reaching for me, and Violin lying lifeless on the floor. I hear Moira’s screams and the thud of Cliff’s body falling on the trapdoor. Sleeping is more exhausting than being awake, but I can’t fight it.
Item
Morning light comes and we eat our rations. The medics say we should arrive at Krung Thep today.
While Ana is out on the deck, a small woman in uniform comes to me and says to follow her. We emerge on the deck and head into a stairwell descending deeper into the ship.
Stopping in front of an open door, she knocks on the frame.
“He must be in cargo,” she says. “Have a seat and wait here while I get him.”
“What for?” I ask.
“The man in charge of inventory, he needs to sign you in.” Then she steps into a hall that turns out of my sight.
Inventory.
I don’t sit.
I don’t breathe.
My heart accelerates.
What did I think would happen? What, like I’m getting off here with Ana? I’m an item. I know it. They know it. They’re going to resell me. But I’m used goods, I won’t even go to a low bidder, They’ll send me straight to the breeders.
It feels like the ceiling is collapsing, the walls are crushing in and the floor is melting into a boil. I can’t breathe.
Amid the panic in my head a hissing static rises, Whispers. Then, comes the headache. I listen for the Whisper that I know will lessen the pain—Hiro. I find it. The headache dims and the other Whispers fade.
Leave the room, says Hiro.
I step into the hall and look down both ends. It’s completely empty either way.
Go to the end of the hall.
I walk as fast as I can without running. I pass door after door. One of them opens.
I cover my face with one hand as a man in a checkered suit approaches.
“Are you okay?” he asks, looking at me holding half of my face.
“I got a small cut, just going to clean it. No worries.”
“Clinic’s the other way.”
“I’ve got a bandage, just heading to the bathroom.”
He moves on. I get to the end of the hall.
Go down the stairs.
I look for the exit sign and find it to the left. Rounding another corner I come to a tight, spiraling, metal stair. I go down.
Wait here.
There’s a door in front of me, but it’s locked.
Below me, I see movement. Backing against the door, I try turning the handle harder. It won’t budge.
Above me, I hear the click of a door, then footsteps, soft and heavy. Shadows play tricks below and above me.
I wait for a Whisper, but there isn’t anything. I run down, away from the footsteps.
At the next level, the door is locked. I shake it, kick it. Ram my body against it. Nothing.
Running down again I fly down the stairs, holding the railing and spinning around them, barely touching.
Then, something cold and hard, like iron inside ice pounds against my chest and knocks me down.
Hands pin me and press against my chest. I open my mouth to scream, but there’s not enough air to make any sound.
Follow them, says Hiro.
The pressure against my chest is lifted. I look up to see a shadowy figure with skin like smoke drifting under glass. Two more shadows arrive behind me.
One of them leads me back up to where I was before I ran, while the other two follow behind. With one twist, the shadow forces the handle and the door opens.
Raven
We pass through and into a semi-circular room. Deep blue light glitters around the space like stars in sunlight.
A fish bigger than me glides past a glass wall then disappears into the deep sea. Sunrays shine through the water and illuminate an empty space.
Hiro’s voice dims, the Whispers stop. I smell salt and dust.
One of the shadows moves past me and stops across the room, where stands a girl. Her frame is soft, but her posture is stiff. Raven hair curls round her.
VII
AWAKEN
The Queen of Light
Silence. Not a word from her, not a word from me. I want to run to her, make sure she's real, but the shadow grabs me, pinning me in place.
“It wasn’t water,” she finally says, breaking through the shell of quiet.
“What?”
Then, I see light emanating from her palms.
Slowly, the light builds until it surrounds her. It continues to spread and brighten, stretching across the room.
Warm light envelops me, intensifying until I have to close my eyes and cover them with my hand.
Then, with a sweep of her hand, the light is gone, soaking the room in complete darkness.
The Shadow releases me.
“The fountain, it wasn’t water. . .” she repeats from somewhere in the blackness. I lower my hands, trying to see. Slowly, normal light returns to the room and I can see her against the deep blue of the water.
In her closed fists, I see an aura of burning light.
“I swam down for you," I say.
She doesn’t reply. Nothing.
“I thought you died!" I shout, surprised at the force in my tone.
“What’s happening to us, West?” Her voice tremors and I immediately regret yelling at her.
“Something happened in that fountain.”
“Did it change you too?”
I remember inhaling the water in the fountain. I remember how the water froze when I touched it.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I say.
Pressing her palms against the window, dim light pulses around her hands.
"Do they still talk to you?" Jael asks.
"Who?"
"The Whispers,"
“Yes."
"How long have they been talking to you?"
"Too long.”
"Who do you hear--when they talk to you?" she asks.
I don’t want to tell her. I don’t want to tell anyone, but I do anyway. "Hiro. I hear Hiro. You?"
For a moment she goes silent. “I hear you.”
My blood rushes and my heart goes from burning to aching.
"They tell me that the family . . . everyone . . . they died. Is it true?"
I don’t want to tell her this either, but I have to. "Yes."
The light in her palm darkens, turning into a cloud of shadow.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. “I tried to save them.”
“What does it look like?” Jael asks while looking my direction, but not at me. For a minute I see her eyes.
They’re still cloudy and colorless, just like in the fountain.
“The light and the dark, I can feel it, but . . . I can’t see it. The Whispers, I listened to them for too long. I got to the Fountain too late. The Whispers took away my sight.“
The heartache grows in me as I watch her scanning the room, trying to talk in my direction but failing.
“How long have you been listening to them?” I ask.
“I never stopped,” she looks down. “Cliff injected me once. At first, it was relieving, but then, I started to miss them. They made me feel . . . not weak. So I stopped taking the injections and I kept listening.”
I think back to when I was with her in the halls of the Estate, when I thought I heard the Whispers. I think of the darkness that was in her eyes. The distance in her heart.
I want to judge her. But how can I? I was listening too. Maybe not for as long, but when we lost the serum. I listened. I’m still listening—and I don’t want to.
