by Wendy Smith
“Always.”
After breakfast, we take Ava to the park. We’re the only people there, though that’s hardly surprising since it’s the middle of the day.
“What do you want to do first?” I ask.
“The slide.” Ava jumps up and down, excited.
“Go on, then.”
Ava runs to the slide, and I plant myself on a wooden bench nearby, pulling Ginny down onto my lap.
“What are you doing?” She laughs.
“Loving you. It’s the easiest thing to do in the world.”
She hooks her arms around my shoulders. “I like it when you say things like that.”
I bury my face in her neck. “Then I’ll say them every day.”
Ginny sighs. “I just wish things had worked out this time.”
“So what do we do now?”
She shrugs. “Take a break for a few months? I don’t know.”
“It might be a good idea. Not permanently. Just while we all recover.”
She pushes off my lap and sits next to me. “I don’t know if I will recover.”
I slip my arm around her. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“If you want someone else, I’ll understand.”
Squeezing her shoulders, I bury my face in her hair. “There’ll never be anyone else for me, Ginny. You know that. It’s only ever going to be you, whether we have more children or not.”
“Mummyyyyy!” a child screams.
Ginny’s head shoots up. “That’s Ava’s voice.”
She takes off, running toward the playground. Ava limps around the slide, and I see the problem straight away. Her knee’s all bloody and raw.
Ginny runs, and Ava walks toward her, wailing and holding her arms out. “Mummyyyy,” she calls again.
My heart stops. Ginny drops to her knees in front of Ava and pulls her into her embrace.
I run up behind them, squatting to see my daughter.
“Did you fall, sweet pea?” I ask.
Ava nods, letting out a cry that breaks my heart. “Mummy,” she whimpers.
Ginny digs into her pocket, and pulls out a tissue, then wipes Ava’s eyes.
“Let’s get you home,” she says. Ava wraps her arms around Ginny’s neck.
“Here, I’ll carry you.” I open my arms to Ava, but she shakes her head.
“It’s okay, Owen. We don’t have to walk far.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I just want to get Ava home and cleaned up.”
I walk behind them back to the car. Ava’s resting her head on Ginny’s shoulder, her face covered in tears and snot.
When we draw close, I come to a stop. Maybe we didn’t start out as a family, but all the breath is sucked from my lungs as I realise I’m watching my daughter and her mother. Biology be damned. In the absence of Ava’s real mother, Ginny is it.
Ava knows it too.
It sends a shiver through me.
“Owen?” Ginny reaches the car, and turns, her eyebrows dipping in confusion.
I shake myself out of my stupor. “Sorry.”
I reach for the door, stepping out of the way to let Ginny place Ava in the car seat.
“Let’s just go home.”
I spend the rest of the afternoon watching.
Watching as Ginny washes Ava’s knee and gently places a Band-Aid on it. Watching as they snuggle together on the couch.
I excuse myself to make dinner, and then I wash the dishes while Ginny takes Ava for her bath.
It’s after Ava’s asleep, when Ginny’s in my arms, that I finally bring up what I witnessed. “You didn’t even notice, did you?”
Ginny raises her eyes to meet mine. “Notice what?”
“What Ava called you.”
For a moment, her face goes blank, and I know the moment it hits her because her lower lip wobbles. “I was so worried about her that I didn’t even hear it,” she whispers.
Wrapping my arms around her, I close my eyes as she buries her face in my chest. “You’re her mother, Gin.”
“But, I—”
“Don’t fight it. She’ll never forget Cara; we’ll make sure of it. But you are her mother now.”
I don’t realise she’s crying until hot tears soak through my shirt. “Hey, no more tears.”
“I never thought that’d she’d … I mean, I guess we have that kind of relationship.” She looks up, and I raise my hand, pushing her hair back behind her ear.
“You’re the one who makes her breakfast in the morning, takes her to day care, tucks her in at night. You sing to her; you buy her clothing and toys. You’re everything to her, Ginny. Just as you’re everything to me.”
I take a deep breath. “Let’s talk to Drew.”
She nods. “I thought he might have said something last time we saw them.”
“I didn’t tell him about the miscarriage. Either of them.”
Her eyebrows twitch. “I thought you would have. You two are so close.”
I shrug. “I don’t tell him everything. And this has been for us to deal with together.”
Tears well in her eyes again. I can’t bear to see her so up and down. It’s hard on those days when she struggles with pain and spends the day in bed being miserable. When she does, I bake for her, bring Ava into bed with her. Anything to bring a smile to her face.
“How’d I ever get lucky enough to find you?”
I smile. “Well, I blame Max.”
She chuckles. “He did bring us together.”
“That kid has the best timing. It was a pretty difficult period after seeing that accident. You made everything better.”
Ginny palms my cheek, and I turn my face to kiss her hand.
“I never thought I’d be settled with one woman and have a family. But here we are: you, me, and Ava.” I move my face closer to hers. She gives me a shy smile that sends a shock through me. It’s funny how things have changed. A couple of years ago if anyone had asked me if I had plans to settle down, I would have told them they were mad. I liked my lifestyle. It was rare that anyone got hurt.
Cara’s death woke me up.
Ginny’s arrival gave me life.
“Now, how about we get some sleep? Tomorrow is another day, and it’ll be a little better than today.”
Ginny nods. “Sounds good. I’m so tired.”
“I’ll give Drew a call in the morning if you want me to.”
“Please,” she whispers.
“Anything for you.”
I wait until Ginny’s at work and Ava’s at day care the next day.
Drew answers on the first ring.
“What’s up?” He sounds so cheerful, and I’m about to bring him down.
I let out a breath. I’m not sure if Ginny’s told Hayley about her medical issues, and maybe Drew already knows, but I still feel awkward telling him, even with my woman’s permission.
“Well, I need to ask for some medical help.”
“Owen?” He switches to a serious tone.
“For Ginny.”
“Anything. Tell me what you need.”
“She has endometriosis.” I’m glad she’s not here because the emotion of the past few weeks catches up, and I’ve got tears in my eyes. It’s not that I’m concerned about her seeing me cry, but I’d rather she not deal with the guilt I know she’ll feel. “Dude, she’s had two miscarriages, and I don’t know if she can take anymore.”
“When?”
“The first one was a little while after she moved in. We decided to let whatever happened happen, and she got pregnant pretty quickly. She miscarried at six weeks. Then she lost a second one the night before last at seven weeks.”
“Shit. How’s she holding up?”
How do you think? I want to scream at him, but it’s not his fault. Ginny’s family, and of course he cares about how she’s coping.
“Well, we all spent yesterday morning in bed. I convinced her to take Ava to the park in the afternoon, and we had a family day together.”
> “Good. She needs all the support she can get. So do you.”
“Can you help her?”
He catches his breath. “I would if I could. But you guys are family. I can refer you to a friend of mine, though. He’ll do what he can.”
“Is he good?”
“Almost as good as me.” That smartarse tone is in Drew’s voice, and I roll my eyes.
“I think we both know there are no guarantees, and she’s been to doctors before we got together, but the difference is that she’s got me now, and I’ll be there for her no matter what.”
“Mate, that’s such an important part of this. If you two want to try for a baby, there’ll be ups and downs. You have to be a team.”
“Ava started calling her Mummy,” I blurt out.
“That’s wonderful. At least, I’m assuming it is. It goes to show how stable she feels with you two.”
“I’m not sure if her timing is good or bad with what’s going on.”
Drew laughs. “Probably both. When are you guys coming to visit? Taking a break might help.”
“I’ll talk to Ginny. It’d be good to get away before Ava starts school.”
“You know, I’m so proud of you. It’s like you grew up. But I guess you had to with the insta-family.”
I chuckle. “I could say the same for you. You always were an over-achiever, but twins?”
“They’re amazing. I look at them, and I see both Hayley and me. They’re just perfect.” He sighs. “Anyway, I need to get some work done. Thanks for letting me know what’s been going on. I’ll talk to Dion and get you an appointment with him.”
“He’s the best, right?” When there’s silence on the other end, I laugh. “After you, of course.”
“I was really wondering where that brotherly love had gone for a moment. He’s good. You can trust him to be honest with you.”
“Thanks, Drew.”
“Anytime, bro. Talk to you again soon.”
As I hang up the phone, I think about Ginny again. The pain in her eyes lately has been too much to bear, but I’ll be by her side whatever happens.
I can only pray we get the result she needs.
That night, we’re about to climb into bed when my phone buzzes on the bedside cabinet. It’s a text from Drew.
He’s given me the name of a doctor, and a date and time. I guess he’s gone ahead and made us an appointment.
“What’s that?” Ginny asks.
I show her the phone.
“Is that …?”
“I’m hoping that’s our future.”
3
Constance
I raise my face to greet the sun. It’s supposed to rain tonight, but it’s nice to enjoy the heat while it’s here.
The warmth makes me smile, and I sigh at the unfairness of having to wear a long dress on a day like today. What I wouldn’t give to put on a short skirt and let the breeze cool me down. Not to mention getting rid of my socks and boots.
I don’t know what the founders of our community were thinking, adopting this garb when the community was formed. It’s supposed to make us look uniform because everyone’s equal.
As if.
The one man who’s far from equal is Ash.
My teenage crush, and now the head of our community, he summoned me about half an hour ago. But like I always did when I was younger, I’m keeping him waiting.
“Constance?”
I turn my head at the sound of Michael’s voice. Ash has two groups that surround him. There’s the larger group which Michael belongs to, and Ash’s much smaller inner circle. The latter are the ones I try and avoid. Smiling, I say, “Michael.”
“What are you doing? Ash is waiting for you.”
“I’m enjoying the sun. I don’t get out much while looking after Mum.”
A smile crosses his lips. “I guess not. But we’d better go.”
I sigh. “Okay. Any idea what he wants?”
He shrugs. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“Maybe he’s decided to make an honest woman out of me.” I grin, knowing that I’m the last person Ash would ever want to marry.
“You? Honest?” He laughs.
“Oi!” I slap him on the arm.
“Seriously, I hope he’s not going to be too much of a dick to you.” He lowers his voice. “I’m getting worried, Constance. Something’s not right with him.”
I nod. “Why do you think I’ve tried to stay off his radar for so long?”
Michael frowns. “That’s a really good plan. Be careful.”
“Why are you still so close with him? You know what he’s like.”
He sighs. “I feel safe keeping an eye on him.” Flicking a glance to the house and back, an indecisive look crosses his face, like he wants to say something but doesn’t know if he should.
“What’s going on?”
Michael shakes his head. “Nothing. You’d better get in there.”
I stand on my tiptoes and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Yes, boss.”
“That’s the kind of attitude that’s just going to annoy him.” Amusement plays on his lips.
“I know. That’s why I do it.”
Ash sits behind his desk. There’s no hint of a smile, like I get from my other friends.
He used to have a sense of humour.
Increasingly, there is nothing.
“Constance, you decided to show up.” His tone is dry, but that’s nothing new when it comes to me.
I smirk. “You summoned me, oh great leader.”
Ash sighs loudly. “I’ve made a decision about your marriage.”
My heart sinks. For so long I thought I’ve tried to avoid this day, but I knew it couldn’t be put off forever. While I’ve helped nurse my ill mother, I’ve kept off Ash’s radar. But I’m twenty-two, and I’m too old now for his little harem group.
Who will it be? The men who have joined us most recently, Jared and Kane, are probably the closest to my age. It’d be unusual to be married to someone so soon after their arrival, but Ash is unpredictable.
“But first, there’s something you need to do for me.”
My mouth goes dry. There’s always something Ash wants. He was always like that growing up, even before his father died. Ash was the one who got dirt on as many people as he could, so when he took over there were no questions about him taking control so young.
“I’ve got an associate coming to discuss business in a few days. I need you to entertain him for the night.”
My heart sinks. “Me?”
Ash turns on that charming smile that just makes my stomach ache. I know what’s behind it, and I don’t want to know what’s coming.
“Anderson’s already had a couple of my girls, but he’s intrigued by the idea of someone with no experience. You were the obvious choice.”
I swallow hard. He wants me to prostitute myself for him. “Ash, I can’t—”
“You can, and you will. He’s a very important man who will fund this community for a long time to come. You’ll be married to John Parsons the following day when my associate is gone.”
John Parsons.
Panic grips me, and I hold onto the arms of the chair I’m in so tightly that my knuckles turn white. “He’s as old as my father.”
“I thought someone with a lot of experience would be a good match for you. Besides, he’s happy to accept you after you do my little job for me.”
This is payback. I’m sure of it. When we were teenagers, Ash urged me to speak to my father about a future match between us. He was eighteen to my thirteen at the time, and although I was young and impressionable, I knew I wasn’t ready for anything serious. I refused, and his father laughed him off when he suggested it. Ash stopped speaking to me after that. He blamed me.
“I won’t do it. Any of it.”
He leans across the table. “You always were argumentative. I haven’t known what to do with you until now, but it seems like I solve a whole lot of problems this way.”
I na
rrow my eyes. “What kind of problems?”
“You, mostly.” He smiles. “John’s known for keeping tight control of his women, and you’re way too mouthy. You always have been.”
“There was a time when you didn’t think that.”
His expression straightens. I’m grasping at straws, but if I can take him back to when he had feelings for me, maybe …
“You ruined that,” he says softly. “We could have been married with children, but you didn’t choose me.”
“I was a child. I’m a woman now. And maybe I made a mistake.”
His blue eyes flash with … is it regret? “Things are different now, Constance.”
“But why do they have to be?” I have to think fast. “I always thought you’d come for me when your father died.”
He steels his gaze. “We both know that would never have happened. Why would I want you when I could have anyone?”
Despite my fear, the slight irritates me. “I don’t know what I ever saw in you.”
His eyebrows rise.
“You were everything to me, and then you were nothing. You walked away from us. It was never the other way around.” My tone is hurt. Even though I haven’t wanted him for years, his words still sting.
For a moment, I hold my breath as he seems to take in what I’m saying. His expression turns thoughtful and sad. “Don’t try and rewrite our history. You made the choice that stopped us from being together.”
I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Ash. I hope one day you’ll forgive me.”
He gets up from behind his desk, and my skin crawls at the thought of him touching me. I take a deep breath and wait.
But he goes past me and hangs his head out the door. “Scott, can you get Doctor Jackson in here?”
My heart seizes. Doctor Jackson is not known for having any real medical knowledge. After Julia’s issues giving birth, Ash brought someone in to live here who doubles as the community doctor. But I doubt he has any real qualifications. He knew nothing of my mother’s illness.
And multiple sclerosis isn’t exactly rare.
“All my girls have the contraceptive injection until I decide it’s time for them to become pregnant. It’s your turn. I don’t want you having a kid to Anderson.”
