Luke gave Gordon a firm handshake. “Likewise.” Friend? He guessed that was close enough. And Jason’s boss? The formal titles only added to the ache in his chest. Was that all they’d ever be to each other?
The man secured Payton’s items over his shoulders and gave them a nod. “I’ll be ready when you are.”
With his hands free, Luke couldn’t resist wrapping his arms around Payton’s warm figure and pulling her close. She wore something that looked like a business suit for women. A knee-length skirt and matching fitted sports coat. A set of heels lengthened her legs and had her standing taller than what he’d grown used to. It was a look that belonged to her Hollywood life.
He tucked his face into the fragrant strands of her red hair and tried to memorize what it felt like to have her in his arms. The warmth of her palm as she slid her hand down the back of his head. The way she toyed with the small hairs at the nape of his neck. He was glad he’d left his hat back in the truck; he wouldn’t have wanted to miss this.
He pulled in a deep breath, let it out in a long, deflated sigh, and pulled back enough to look at her. Dang, she was beautiful. More so now that he knew how lovely she was on the inside. Her lashes glistened with moisture as she squinted against the sun.
“I don’t really know how to do this,” he admitted.
She held his gaze as a storm all its own brewed behind those brown eyes. “I don’t know either,” she said in a whisper. “But I don’t think it’s fair for me to … put dibs on you or anything. I mean, if you feel like dating—”
“I won’t,” he assured before she could finish. Just how long did she plan to be gone?
Payton bit the bottom corner of her lip and cast her gaze on a distant spot beyond Luke. “I don’t know how long this will take. Part of me thinks I want to go in there and tell everyone goodbye, I’ve found a new life I like better, and I’m going to go live that now.”
Luke hated just how silly that actually sounded.
She looked back at him. “And the other part of me things I’ll get sucked right back in once I’m there. I run my own fashion line. I don’t know if I just get to walk away from that.”
That sounded an awful lot like goodbye. That fear of imbalanced love—the one he’d toted from year to year after his relationship with Lizzy went wrong—was staring him smack in the face. Perhaps he should step back and cut his losses now, before his feelings sank any deeper.
Luke took the slightest step back. The toe of his cowboy boot moved from between her high-heeled shoes to where they stood toe-to-toe. His hands slid down the back of her arms where he cradled her elbows. “I can, um … give you your distance, then, if you’d like,” he managed, dropping his gaze to their feet. To the blaring difference between them. Country boy and city girl.
“That might be best,” she said.
Luke’s eyes stung as he clenched them shut, willing the tears to hold off.
“I’ll text you when I get there, let you know I arrived safely. And then maybe we can plan on talking a couple times a week or so.”
He nodded, forced himself to face her once more. “Why does this feel so much like a breakup?”
Payton’s chin quivered as tears spilled down her flushed cheeks. She shook her head, almost absently, but her expression spoke the words that her lips couldn’t. Because that’s what it is.
He stepped back once more, contemplating a simple head nod or handshake. His hands slid down the back of her wrists until he caught her hands. He took another step back, and this time Payton did the same. Yet just as their arms stretched, making up the distance between them, Payton’s fingers locked tightly against his, keeping him from letting go completely.
She searched his face, seeming to ask him something as her gaze dropped to his mouth. It would hurt more if he kissed her goodbye. Or maybe that was a lie. Maybe it’d hurt more if he didn’t. Why miss out on an opportunity that might be his last?
At once he moved back in, pulling Payton into his arms. He looked at her for a beat, his heart racing wildly as she gave him a nod. Subtle, but unmistakable. It was all the encouragement he needed.
With a sigh of surrender, Luke tilted his head and pressed a long, lingering kiss to Payton’s lips. Perhaps it could say what he didn’t dare speak aloud. I’m in love with you. The kiss turned driven then as he sought a response. Did she feel the same?
The fervent way she returned his kiss said that she did.
He gently cradled her face as he contemplated the goodbye ahead, his kisses turning slower now. And more sensual too. He only prayed they’d have time to explore the connection between them some day.
At last they brought things to a stop, and Payton rested her forehead against his. “I better go,” she said in a whisper. Her breaths were jagged and loud.
Luke’s were too. “Yeah,” he said, willing himself to release her. “Payton?” His heart thundered after he said her name. Did he dare speak the words on his lips?
She glanced over her shoulder at the waiting jet, then back to him. “Yeah?”
“I …” Luke shook his head, forced himself to open his mouth once more. “I really have fallen for you,” he admitted. “I respect that you have your own path, and trust me, I want you to pursue it however you feel is best. But I want you to know that my wish in all this is that you come back, and we see where this takes us.”
Payton’s brow furrowed beneath an onslaught of emotions. Ones too complicated to dissect. She pulled him in for one last short kiss, then turned away and scurried to the jet.
As he watched her disappear into the open compartment, the hatch beginning to lift, Luke knew. Knew that whatever the outcome might be, he was a changed man. A man who’d allowed himself to love deeply, despite his fears. Now he just had to survive the aftermath. Heaven help me.
Chapter 26
Angry knocking jerked Payton from sleep like a pair of frantic hands. She sat straight up in bed and stared into the endless shades of gray while the beating rhythm picked up in her chest.
The pounding came from the front door again. “Payton?” It was Chloe’s voice.
Payton worked to calm the chaos in her heart with a slow exhale. She flung off the covers, sending a wild flutter of empty wrappers from her bed to the floor, and climbed off. There, she stepped over one empty pizza box before landing on another that hid in the shadows. The cardboard turned slick against the carpet beneath her weight, causing the piece to slip so far it forced her into involuntary splits.
“Payton Keller, I know you’re in there,” came Chloe again.
Of course Chloe knew she was in there; Payton had texted her when she got home yesterday. Or the day or two before … whenever it was.
“I’m coming, Ms. Bossy Pants,” she grumbled, spotting the front door in the low light of her penthouse. She scurried through the spacious living space toward the entry. After the quick twist of half a dozen deadbolts, she flung the door wide open. “How did you get up here without ringing me?” Payton asked, squinting from the light in the bright foyer.
“Tsk, Martin knows me as well as he knows you,” she said. “Besides, you signed a waiver, remember? I’m allowed up here whenever I want to be.”
Payton scurried over to the couch, plopped on her butt, then slouched face-first into the decorative pillows with a groan.
“What’s going on in here?” Chloe’s tone was in full disgust mode.
With her nose shoved firmly against a silky pillow, Payton fought for her next breath. “Nothing.”
“No, not nothing. It’s a beautiful sunny afternoon for the rest of the city and you’re closed up in some smelly dungeon with … what the heck is this? Empty ice tea bottles and delivery boxes littering your place?”
“So?”
“So you haven’t even given Roz a statement yet, and she’s livid. Plus, and you know I don’t mind running things without you, but I’m contractually obligated to get your approval for upcoming designs, so you need to be available to actually give me that
approval or this just won’t work.”
“I don’t want this to be my life anymore.” Since the words were muffled, Payton pulled away and repeated them. “I don’t want—”
“Don’t,” Chloe blurted. “I heard you the first time.” She marched across the room, the click of her heels giving her away. Suddenly a sharp burst of light pierced through the room. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, Payton. But you’ve been back for four whole days and you haven’t even taken care of a thing.”
“Four?”
“Roz is going to kill you if you don’t give her an official statement, your parents don’t even know you’re here, and you’ve yet to step foot into the office.”
“Four days?” Payton gasped, pulling her face from the pillow to squint at Chloe’s silhouette. “There’s no way it’s been four days already.”
“It has,” Chloe assured.
Payton groaned again, wishing she could get the weight of her burdens off her back already.
“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on, and I’ll see if I can help.”
She appreciated the practical sound of her friend’s voice; Payton had lost sight of the word’s meaning over the last month.
“Your mom’s under the impression that you fell in love with a cowboy. Is that true?”
The words in love made her face flare with guilty heat. She shifted her gaze to the sight out the window, and noticed a familiar-looking bird perched in a nearby palm tree. Like the bird she’d caught sight of at the airport the day she’d left. The moment her life took a dramatic shift.
The sight of the black, shiny-eyed bird seemed relevant in a way. Were things about to change once again? Was she ready for part two of this transformation? “What was the question?” Payton asked, realizing Chloe was waiting for a response.
“You know what the question was, Payton.”
The bird nodded—actually nodded at her as light gleamed in its eye. It was time for another change, wasn’t it? Archie’s actions might have made a mess of sorts, but thank heavens he’d done what he did. Because it had allowed Payton to discover her destiny in that visit.
With a mighty caw, the black bird spread its impressive wings, lifted off the branch, and flew away.
Payton forced her gaze to fall back to Chloe. “My mom said that I fell in love with a cowboy?” She recalled the look in his eyes as they said goodbye. The fervent kiss he’d pressed to her lips. And the way he’d encouraged her when she helped Ralphie break free from his shell.
Chloe’s crystal blue eyes narrowed, and then widened in surprise. “Oh my gosh, you did, didn’t you? You fell in love with him.”
Payton lifted her chin, leveled a look at Chloe, and gulped past the knot rising in her throat. “Yes. I did.”
Answering was the easy part after all. The tough part, the part that had kept her in bed for four days straight, was what to do about it.
The color drained from Chloe’s cheeks, but she recovered quickly and cleared her throat. Her shoulders lifted, along with her chin. “Okay,” she said in her fix-it voice, “let’s see how we can make this work.”
The familiar chime of Luke’s favorite country song lulled him into consciousness. He lifted the covers off his body with a long stretch and sat up in bed, reaching for his nightstand. It took a moment, fresh from sleep as he was, to pull the charger from the device, his fingers and thumbs fumbling through the simple task.
He squinted against the image glowing on the screen as it pulsed—Payton. His heart clunked hard and desperate as he brought it to his ear.
“Hi,” Payton crooned, voice warm and smooth.
His muscles softened. A grin ruled the corners of his lips. “Hi.” He glanced at the sun peeking in from the blinds. “How are you?”
“Sad,” she said.
He lifted a brow. “Sad?”
“Mmm, hmm. I miss you.”
The hammering in his heart returned. “Is it mean of me to say that I’m glad you miss me?”
“It is if you don’t say that you miss me too.”
“I miss you too, Payton.” Luke glanced at the clock before sinking back onto his pillow. Payton had spent enough time with Luke to know he never slept in past seven, yet here it was, 8 a.m., and he was still in bed. He could blame it on the fact that it was Sunday morning, but the truth was, he’d had a near sleepless night. One of many since Payton left over a week ago.
He stayed quiet as the seconds ticked by, simmering in the words of longing. The feelings of want. And their unexplained closeness, despite the states and lakes and mountains that stood between them.
He’d been respectful of her wishes. Waiting for her to call every few days. But it wasn’t easy.
“The strangest thing happened last night,” he said, breaking into the silence. “I went out to the front room, built a fire like I normally do, and then I waited. But you know what?”
Payton giggled, the sound like a remedy. “What?”
“No one came,” he said. “I sat on the chair at first and started working on my puzzle …”
“Have you solved it yet?”
“No. Anyway, I was working on it, but that pretty woman who usually shows up when I build a fire never came.”
“That’s so sad,” she said.
“I know. And so I went over and waited by the mantel while flexing my biceps a little, but she still didn’t come.”
Payton gasped. “How rude!”
“I agree. So then, in one last attempt, I moved to the couch and made really loud yawning sounds, figuring she’d show up if I made enough noise.”
“And?” Her voice was playful.
“A total no-show.”
She chuckled again. “I can’t believe it. You know, now that I think about it, though … haven’t I already heard this story?”
Luke chuckled under his breath. “Maybe.”
“Yeah,” she said. “In fact, I think this is the third time I’ve heard it.”
“Only three? Well, you’re lucky, then,” he said. “Cuz it happened to me the last eight nights in a row.”
“That’s depressing.”
He sighed. “Tell me about it.”
Payton sighed too, then followed up with a few questions about Doug and the chickens and the harvest festival coming up next month.
He answered each in turn. Doug was loving his new position at the Texas dude ranch. The chickens were enjoying their new outdoor environment. And Ralphie and Feathers were happy as larks. And yes, Dee had been baking up a storm in preparation for the festival. Freezing dozens of loaves of zucchini bread she’d sell there, and make no mistake, they’d taste just as fresh as the day she baked them thanks to a secret baker’s technique.
“What about you?” he asked. “Have you solved the peg puzzle yet?”
“Not yet,” she said, “which is frightening. I don’t want to admit that a nine-year-old is smarter than me. But I’m starting to think he is.”
Luke smiled longingly, wishing he could wrap his arms around her, tuck his nose into the fragrant strands of her red hair. “I know what you mean.”
Elephants weren’t usually welcome things around his place. Luke was more accustomed to cattle, horses and chicks. But ever since Payton had left, he’d been quite welcoming to the elephant that stood in the proverbial room of their phone calls. A dilemma that was so large, it was hard to narrow down to just one thing.
“So …” he dared himself to say, “any other progress there?”
“Yes,” she said. “I’ve got a ton of things taken care of with Shades. Chloe’s amazing, and I’ve sort of got a plan brewing in my head. I just have to see if it’ll work.”
That sounded promising, but if Luke knew what was good for him, he wouldn’t get his hopes up.
“Did you see my official remarks about Archie?” she asked.
He hated admitting that, in fact, he had. “Yep. I liked them.” His face flushed with heat. Not like he was a stalker. Luke was simply tuning into celebrity g
ossip like the other half of the country did. “I especially liked the part where you said that you weren’t interested in getting back together.”
She chuckled. “There’s nothing further from my mind.”
That was good to hear too.
“The thing is, though … you were right about me coming back. I’m glad I did, and I think I’m heading in the right direction. But to be sure, I think maybe we should put a little more distance between our conversations. I mean, I know I’m the one calling you, so I guess I’m just trying to let you know that I’ll probably wait a week or two before I call you again.”
Luke felt every muscle freeze in place. Everything but his heart. He let out a shallow breath, working to dissect what she’d said. In the last week, she’d called just three times. That, after seeing one another off and on all day every day for nearly two weeks straight. He didn’t want more space. He wanted a whole lot less of it.
“When you sent me back here, you asked me to trust that it was for the best,” Payton said. “That’s what I’m asking you right now. I just … need to clear my head and make sure that what I’m doing is right, whether we end up together or not.”
“That makes sense,” he managed. Forget the fact that he felt like he’d been punched in the gut. She had a point. If Payton was making life-changing decisions—and he desperately hoped she was—then they needed to be in her best interest regardless of their relationship status.
How long would it take for his brain to relay that tidbit to his already aching heart?
Payton stared at her phone, wondering if she could go that long without calling Luke. Beyond that, she was beginning to question if it was even necessary. The panicky ache in her lungs warned her that it wasn’t. That what she’d really do in that time was open the floodgates of doubt in Luke’s mind. Give him the chance to see that she wasn’t what he wanted after all.
No, Payton. Stop.
The fact was, she’d jumped from one relationship to another, and now Payton needed to focus on the steps ahead of her. Make certain they were right. She glanced down at the list in her hands, the one Chloe had helped her start. Several items had already been crossed off.
This Cowboy's a Keeper Page 18
