“Why?” she asks, her smile tilting down into a concerned frown.
“Because we’ll never leave if you do,” I murmur before kissing her cheek.
She grins and tightens her grip around me. “Would it help if I told you that I was hungry?”
“Yes. Absolutely.” I step out of our embrace and reach for her hand once more. “Let’s go.”
Knowing how much she likes Tex Mex, I take her to her favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner. We sit across from each other in a booth and the crowd that surrounds us seems to just disappear as we enjoy each other’s company. Conversation flows easily, like it always does, only I flirt without abandon. She reciprocates and each time she does, I become more and more confident that I did the right thing, listening to Beck.
We don’t linger long after dinner, since I have plans for us to move on to our next activity as soon as we’re done. There’s an art gallery only a short walk from the restaurant that has a new photography exhibit I thought might be something she would enjoy. Turns out, I was right. She appreciates the surprise almost as much as she appreciates the art. I don’t really pay too much attention to the photos, too captivated by the woman admiring them. She holds my hand as she tugs me from one spot to the next, squeezing my fingers when she sees something she really likes. Every minute that I’m with her, I wonder how I went so long without this—us.
Lord, please don’t let me screw this up. I know I have the heart to fall in love with her—but make me a man worthy of her love. You’re the only one who can…
It’s almost ten by the time we leave the gallery. I don’t want to, but I know that I have to get her home soon.
“My feet are killing me. I definitely choose style over comfort tonight. How far away are we parked?”
I open my mouth to respond and then I stop myself before I even begin. Across the street, there’s a horse and buggy with a couple stepping out and I get an idea. “Come on, let’s catch a ride to the car.” I give her hand a light tug as we approach the street. I check for oncoming traffic before I begin to jaywalk my way toward our ride. Old Town Fort Collins is probably one of the most charming places I’ve ever experienced—which is saying a lot, considering all the places I’ve lived—and it’s things like this that make it so unique. These horse drawn carriages will stick around for the duration of summer just because. I’ve never ridden in one before, but now seems as good a time as any. “Do you have time for one more ride?” I ask the coach.
“Sure, hop in,” he says, nodding toward the back. I tell him we’re we’d like to go before I escort Avery around to the passenger entrance.
“Sonny,” she coos.“You don’t have to do this. I can—” I cut her off with a kiss before picking her up around her waist and lifting her into the buggy. She squeals with delight as she plops down into the seat and I climb in to join her. “Thank you,” she murmurs.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders, now covered in her yellow sweater, and pull her into my side. She rests against me and I can’t help but feel a little victorious. “You’re welcome,” I mumble against her hair.
Our ride is a slow one. I know we probably could have made it to the car faster if we had just walked, but this is so much better. For a few minutes, we ride in silence. I watch the people on the sidewalk, coming and going, as I relish in the feeling of my girlfriend leaning up against me.
“Sonny?” she speaks softly, breaking the silence between us. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.” She moves away from me so that she can look into my eyes; I appreciate the view, but I mourn the distance that she’s placed between us. Then I notice the expression on her face and a knot forms in my stomach. “What’s up?”
“I’ve had a really great time tonight. It’s safe to say that this is the best date I’ve ever been on.” I study her as she speaks. I want to be happy about what it is she’s just said, but she looks worried and that almost negates her compliment. “But—” Here it comes… “do you think we’re moving too fast?”
“What?” I mutter lamely.
“I mean—this is our first date. I know I joked about it the other day, but I feel like we’re doing things out of order.”
I pull my eyebrows together to convey the depth of my confusion. “Where is this coming from? I don’t understand. I thought everything was going great and we were having a good time.”
“We are—I am—I…I’m sorry,” she lets out a flustered breath as she runs her fingers through her hair and looks away from me. “Never mind. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no. Don’t do that,” I demand, placing a finger beneath her chin and turning her face back towards mine. I wait to continue speaking until she’s looking at me. “Talk to me. You can tell me whatever it is you’re thinking. I want you to.”
“I just…I’ve liked you for a really long time, Grayson. A really long time. I’m borderline stalker material.” I stifle a laugh but can’t contain my grin, even though she’s dead serious, with not a hint of humor shifting the features of her face. “I’m not kidding. I like you so much—which is why I agreed to be your girlfriend in, like, two seconds. These last couple days, they’ve been wonderful. I know we haven't done all that much, but I love just knowing I'm a girlfriend. Your girlfriend. I know we know each other pretty well, but only as friends. Not that our friendship isn’t a great foundation for a relationship but…I guess I’m just nervous.
“I’m worried you’ll change your mind. I’m afraid that we’re moving too fast or something and that you’ll realize that maybe this isn’t what you wanted. And that’s fair—but then what about our friendship? I don’t want to screw that up. If that’s all I can have. I don’t know. Maybe I should have thought about this before—but I just got caught up in my feelings and the moment and—” she huffs out another sigh and shakes her head. “I’m babbling. I’m sorry.”
“First of all, stop apologizing,” I insist. “Second, come here.” I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her into my lap. I like having her close to me and the distance that separates us just won't do. She comes willingly, resting her arms around my shoulders. “Do you want to know when I first realized I had feelings for you?” She nods timidly. “Last year. The week before the first home game of the season. You came over and we talked football all night. When you left, you took my heart with you.”
“Really?” she whispers, her eyes wide and full of surprise.
“Really. I might not be borderline stalker material, but I’ve liked you for a long time, too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know—I had my reasons,” I mumble with a shrug.
“No, no, no. Don’t do that,” she pleads, repeating my words. “Tell me.”
I hesitate for only a moment; then I realize, the man that deserves her is an honest one. Besides, she just called me out on my crap answer and that actually makes me want to tell her. “I don’t think I’m good enough for you.”
“What?” Her eyes widen in surprise again. “You don’t think you’re good enough for me?”
“No. I don’t,” I repeat, reaching up to brush her hair behind her ear.
“I disagree,” she states matter-of-factly.
“I know. I know you do. I’m going to spend every day trying to be worthy of that opinion. So, you see? You don’t have to be worried that I’ll change my mind about us. I won’t. I’m in this. Okay?” I ask, propping my forehead against hers.
“Okay.”
Best. Date. Ever.
Three and a half hours ago, I was under the impression that Sonny was a great guy that I liked a lot. Now, as he walks me back to my apartment, I’m absolutely positive that Sonny is an amazing guy that I’m probably falling in love with. I mean, I’ve never actually been in love, so I can’t say for sure, but these feelings I have? They’re way too intense to be misinterpreted.
I peek up at him as we make our way across the parking lot, longing to be reminded of his wickedly-good looks. Good Lord, how did I snag such
a hottie?
He grins down at me as he squeezes my hand. “You know you just said that out loud, right?”
“Oh,” I moan, directing my focus toward my feet. “I really need to work on that.”
“Nah, I like it.”
“I’m sure you do,” I laugh.
“Anyway, I’m the lucky one who snagged the hottie in this scenario.”
I look up at him, lifting my eyebrows as I give him my Really? expression. “I’m the girlfriend of CSUs star quarterback. Once word gets out, hearts will be broken all over campus.”
He laughs and I join in as he pulls me under his arm. “I’m the starting quarterback—not the star quarterback. There’s a difference.”
“Not to me, there isn’t,” I declare, shaking my head to emphasize my point.
Suddenly I’m being swept off my feet, literally and figuratively, and Sonny cradles me in his arms as we reach the stairs that will lead to my front door. I squeak out my surprise and am silenced when he pecks my lips. “Stay this incredible always, will you?”
I grip him tighter, pulling myself closer to him. “I’ll try if you will.”
“Deal,” he replies as he begins carrying me up the steps. “Now you have to make me another promise,” he says as he sets me down at in front of my door.
“What promise is that?”
“I have to see you tomorrow.”
“Yes,” I spit the word out almost before he can finish his sentence. “And the day after that. And the day after that.”
“And the day after that,” he continues as he takes both of my hands and laces his fingers with mine. “And the day after that.”
“And the day after that,” I manage to say before he reaches down and silences me once more with a kiss. I part my lips for him, wanting desperately for this moment to last forever. I know I need to say goodnight, but my heart is doing a fine job of assuring my body that we can stay out here with Grayson for a while longer. His tongue is also quite convincing. I’m about to let go of his hands, so that I can reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, when I hear a door open. When Sonny pulls away from me, I realize whose door has just been opened—mine.
And the person who opened it?
Addie. Of course it’s Addie. We had to get caught by the one person I was worried the most about telling.
I step away from Sonny, as if any distance between us would erase what my sister just saw us doing. I bite my bottom lip as I try and figure out what she’s thinking. She’s just standing there, in the door way, in a tank top and pajama pants, gaping at us. Before I can think of what to say, she’s screaming. I’m talking full on, ear piercing, scream. The next thing I know, she’s hurling herself at me. She wraps me in a tight embrace as she starts giggling. Giggling.
Giggling?
I look over her shoulder at Sonny who looks both frightened and amused at the same time. I have no idea what’s happening so I just stand still as Addie continues to lose her mind. She must realize I’m confused when I don’t return her embrace, so she pulls away from me and throws herself at Sonny. He laughs as he wraps his arms around my sister, who is now practically bouncing. It isn’t until she pulls away from him that I see the huge grin that lights up her entire face.
“What is happening out here?” asks Sarah as she appears in the doorway.
“We—”
“No! She has to see it,” Addie practically shouts. “In fact—does anyone else know? They mustn’t, or I would know, too.” Did she just say mustn't? Clearly she's started her summer reading list. I dismiss the thought as she spins to face Sarah and grabs her hand. “You’re not going to believe this. Come on. All of you!” I barely have time to think before she’s dragging Sarah between us and down the stairs. Sonny and I exchange confused looks but don’t move. “Get your butts down here!” Addie calls up to us. Sonny shrugs, closing our front door before following them.
I take two steps and groan pathetically. My feet do not want to play with the stairs right now. Sonny hears my protest and chuckles before he wraps one arm around my waist and pulls me off of my feet and into his side. I rest my hands on top of his broad shoulder as my stomach tingles pleasantly. I've been in his arms tonight more times than I can count. I love it. I swear, he makes me feel like I weigh no more than his backpack. As soon as we've made our descent, I'm placed back on my feet.
Addie goes to knock on Sonny’s door and then turns to face him. “What am I doing? You live here—open up,” she demands, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. He does as he’s told and we all find Beckham and Jackson sitting on the couch, immersed in a video game that gets paused when they spot the crowd at the door.
“Hey, guys,” says Jack, suspiciously.
“What’s going on?” asks Hammy.
“I have to show you something!” says Addie with a hop. I’m still completely lost as to what’s going on. My sister, who has been crying for the past four days, is suddenly—and literally—bouncing off the walls. “Sarah, come in here. Grayson, you stay out there.” She pushes him back outside with me and pulls Sarah inside. “Now, I’m going to close this door. You two just keep doing what you were doing a second ago,” she says with a wink before closing us outside.
A wink. Addie just winked at me.
I shake my head in an attempt to scatter my thoughts so I can begin to piece together everything that just happened. “I’m confused—she wants us to kiss?” is all I can manage to come up with.
Sonny grins at me before he speaks. “Yeah, I think so.”
I’m temporarily distracted by his barely-there-dimples but I force myself to concentrate on the situation at hand. “She’s lost it.”
Before Sonny can respond, Addie opens the door. I cough out a laugh at the sight of her, Sarah, Hammy, and Jack all standing on the other side looking out at us. Sonny laughs even harder, clearly tickled by this whole thing.
“Guys, come on,” Addie whines. Her grin, however, is still intact.
All at once, it clicks.
She’s excited about us. Really excited about us. Right now, she's showing us off like a proud mama.
“Let’s try this again, shall we?” she chirps before shutting the door once more.
“Avery,” Sonny murmurs, reaching for my hands. “I told you she would be happy for us.”
Hearing him say it seems to make it that much more real and I'm so relieved that a laugh bubbles its way out of me. “You were right. Did you see her face?”
“I did,” he says, stepping closer to me. “The question now is, should we do as she asks?”
“Are you kidding?” I scoff. “I haven’t seen my sister with a real smile in almost a week. Get over here, Hottie!” He doesn’t need to be told twice. As he begins to kiss me, I forget that we’re about to have an audience. Even if I hadn’t, the instant his lips graze mine, I don’t think I could’ve cared less. When Sonny reaches up to circle his hands around the back of my neck, supporting my head as he deepens the kiss, I know he's just as lost in me as I am in him. I grab hold of his wrists as I push myself up on my tiptoes, wishing to be closer to him than my height or my heels can manage. I don't hear it when the door opens, so we don’t stop until the screaming and the tackling starts—Hammy and Jack practically pummel Sonny, effectively putting an end to our moment.
“So it was a date,” I hear Jack say.
“It’s about time,” says Hammy.
“Well, praise the Lord!” cries Sarah as she grabs my hand and starts pulling me away from the ruckus. “We need details. And oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. You talk, I’ll bake.”
“Girls night!” squeals Addie. “Bye, boys.”
I look over my shoulder as both Sarah and Addie pull me up the stairs. Grayson, who has managed to wrestle his way free from the dog pile, catches my eye and flashes me a grin. A part of me wants to go back to him so we can finish our goodbye, but a bigger part of me knows that I'm headed exactly where I belong. I'm finally going to get to tell Addie and Sarah what I've been ac
hing to tell them. The joy that's practically bursting out of every one of Addie's pores tells me that she needs this impromptu girls night just as much as I do. So I simply smile back at my boyfriend, knowing we'll have tomorrow. For now, our secret is out.
And this is what it feels like to be incandescently happy.
I miss her. I miss her so much I feel like I’m a zombie walking around without a heart. Every time I think about her, which seems to have multiplied exponentially since Sunday, I get this awful nauseous feeling. It’s the manifestation of my fear—fear that I’ve made the biggest mistake of my entire life. In the last four days I’ve seen and spoken to her twice. Twice. On our worst day as a couple, we reached out to each other that much, if not more—in a single day. I might actually be going crazy as I restrain myself from calling her or texting her every hour. I know that right now it’s probably best if I create some distance between us, but my whole body seems to be rejecting this breakup like a bum organ.
I know that I’m pretty miserable company these days. I’ve been going through the motions at work, pasting on a smile when I have to. My co-workers and my boss can tell something is up because I’m so withdrawn when I’m not helping customers. I haven’t spoken to anyone about what’s going on with Addison and me. It’s too fresh and frustrating; too complicated and confusing. It’s just not something I’m really interested in discussing right now. The only people who really know what’s going on are the girls, Gray, and Jack.
Gray has actually been a freakin’ saint, putting up with everything. Jack has been pretty irritable this week, too—which is probably why we keep seeking out each other’s company and avoiding everyone else’s. I’ve played more video games with him every night than I have all semester. We don’t talk when we play. It’s a silent understanding between the two of us. I know he’s grumpy because he wishes Claire was around and she’s not; and even though his circumstances are pretty much the polar opposite of mine, I don’t hold it against him. Misery loves company. So our new routine? I like it. Gray hates it. He’s managed to drag us out a couple times, but it’s been like pulling teeth, I’m sure. I was beginning to wonder how he was still managing to tolerate us so patiently and then Addie burst into our apartment last night and revealed the answer to that mystery.
The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) Page 14
