Yesterday, I forgot, mon cher papa, to remind you that you were so good as to promise to lend me a volume of your works, which will teach me what water spouts are. Captain Cook turns to the famous Doctor Franklin in order to instruct himself on the same subject.
When I go to paradise, if St. Peter asks me of what religion I am, I shall answer him: “Of the religion whereby people believe that the Eternal Being is perfectly good and indulgent; of the religion whereby people love all those who resemble him. I have loved and idolized Doctor Franklin.” I am sure that St. Peter will say: “Come in and go promptly to take place next to Mr. Franklin. You shall find him seated next to the Eternal Being.” I will go there and enjoy everlasting happiness.
D’HARDANCOURT BRILLON
December 10, 1778
To Madame Brillon,
Since you assure me that we would meet each other and recognize each other in paradise, I have been thinking constantly about the arrangement of our affairs in that country. More than 40 years will probably elapse from the time of my arrival there until you follow me. I shall have enough time during those 40 years to practice on the armonica, and perhaps I may be able to play well enough to accompany you on the piano-forte. From time to time, we shall have little concerts: good Pagin will be of the party; your neighbor and his dear friend; M. de Chaumont, M. B., M. Jourdain, M. Grammont, Mademoiselle Du Tartre, the petite mere, and other chosen friends will form our audience. We shall eat together apples of paradise roasted with butter and nutmeg, and we shall pity those who are not dead.
B FRANKLIN
“PEOPLE HAVE CRITICIZED MY SWEET HABIT OF SITTING ON YOUR LAP”
December 15, 1778
To B. Franklin,
I am thinking about our affairs in paradise. I was informed that certain criticisms have been uttered by persons whom I meet in society concerning the kind of familiarity that reigns between us. Do you know, my good papa, that people have criticized the sweet habit I have taken of sitting on your lap, and your habit of soliciting from me what I always refuse? People see evil everywhere in this miserable country, and as I have the easy-going nature of the Americans, that irks me; but the wise must tolerate the mad, the wicked and the foolish. Let us deprive them of ways to talk and do harm; let us love each other always, and delight in the happiness of being better than they are.
I despise the back-biters and am at peace with myself. But one must submit to what is called propriety. Though I may not sit upon your knee so often, it certainly will not be because I love you less. I fear publicity, and through discreet and modest conduct, we shall have shut the mouths of evil speakers, and that is no small feat, even for a sage.
Come to tea tomorrow, come every Wednesday and Saturday, and you would have music, chess and friendship as much as you like.
MADAME BRILLON
WE PASSED THE DAY TOGETHER AT MOULIN JOLI
In the summer of 1778, we pass’d the day together at the Moulin Joli, a little island in the Seine River about 2 leagues from thence. That day a swarm of those little flies known as Ephemeras, and by the people called Manna, hovered over the river. I studied them carefully and the next day sent Madame Brillon the letter of which this is a translation:Passy. Sept. 20, 1778
To Madame Brillon
You may remember, my dear friend, that when we lately spent that happy day in a delightful garden and sweet society of the Moulin Joli, I stopped a little in one of our walks, and stayed some time behind the company. We had been shown numberless skeletons of a kind of little fly, called an ephemera, whose successive generations, we were told, were bred and expired within the day. I happen’d to see a living company of them on a leaf, who appear’d to be engag’d in conversation. You know I understand all the inferior animal tongues: my too great application to the study of them is the best excuse I can give for the little progress I have made in your charming language. I listened thro’ curiosity to the discourse of these little creatures, but as they in their national vivacity spoke three or four together, I could make but little of their discourse. I found, however, by some broken expressions that I caught now and then, they were disputing warmly the merit of two foreign musicians, one a cousin, the other a musketo; in which dispute they spent their time seemingly as regardless of the shortness of life, as if they had been sure of living a month. Happy people! thought I, you live certainly under a wise, just and mild government, since you have no public grievances to complain of, nor any subject of contention but the perfections or imperfections of foreign music. I turned my head from them to an old gray-headed one, who was single on another leaf, and talking to himself. Being amus’d with his soliloquy, I put it down in writing, in hopes it would likewise amuse her to whom I am so much indebted for the most pleasing of amusements, her delicious company and heavenly harmony.
It was, says he, the opinion of learned philosophers of our race, who lived and flourished long before my time, that this vast world, the Moulin Joli, could not itself subsist more than 18 hours; and I think there was some foundation for that opinion, since by the apparent motion of the great Luminary that gives life to all nature, and which in my time has evidently declin’d considerably toward the ocean at the end of our earth, it must then finish its course, be extinguish’d in the waters that surround us, and leave the world in cold and darkness, necessarily producing universal death and destruction. I have lived seven of those hours; a great age, being no less than 420 minutes of time. How very few of us continue so long! I have seen generations born, flourish, and expire. My present friends are the children and grandchildren of the friends of my youth, who are now, alas, no more! And I must soon follow them; for by the course of nature, tho’ still in health, I cannot expect to live above 7 or 8 minutes longer. What now avails all my toil and labour in amassing honey-dew on this leaf, which I cannot live to enjoy! What the political struggles I have been engag’d in for the good of my compatriots, inhabitants of this bush; or my philosophical studies for the benefits of our race in general! For in politics, what can laws do without morals? Our present race of ephemeras will in a course of minutes become corrupt like those of other and older bushes, and consequently as wretched. And in philosophy how small our progress! Alas, art is long, and life is short! My friends would comfort me with the idea of a name they say I shall leave behind me; and they tell me I have lived long enough to nature and to glory: But what will fame be to an ephemera who no longer exists? And what will become of all history, in the 18th hour, when the world itself, even the whole Moulin Joli, shall come to its end, and be buried in universal ruin? To me, after all my eager pursuits, no solid pleasures now remain, but the reflection of a long life spent in meaning well, the sensible conversation of a few good lady-ephemeras, and now and then a kind smile, and a tune from the ever-amiable Brillante.
A PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO MADAME HELVÉTIUS
Another friend in France, whom Madame Brillon called “my kind and formidable rival,” was Madame Helvétius, who lived in Auteuil and had so many friends of such various kinds drawn around her as straws about a fine piece of amber—statesmen, philosophers, historians, poets, and men of learning of all sorts.88 I would not attempt to explain it but by the story of the ancient, who being asked why philosophers sought the acquaintance of kings, and kings not that of philosophers, replied that philosophers knew what they wanted, which was not always the case with kings. We found in her sweet society that charming benevolence, that amiable attention to oblige, that disposition to please and be pleased, which we did not always find in the society of one another.
I had often noticed, when reading the works of M. Helvétius [her late husband], that even though we had been born and brought up in the opposite parts of the world, we often met one another in the same thoughts; and it is very flattering to me to reflect we loved the same studies, the same friends,89 and the same woman.
On September 19, 1779, I addressed the following proposal to Monsieur Cabanis,90 requesting him to deliver it to Our Lady of Auteuil: “Dr. F
ranklin is upset to have caused the least harm to that beautiful hair, that he always looks at with pleasure. If this lady likes to spend her days with him, he would like as much to spend his nights with her; & as he has already given her many of his days, although he has so few remaining to give, she seems ungrateful to never give him a single one of her nights, which flow by continually as a pure loss, without bringing anyone happiness, with the exception of Poupon. He nevertheless embraces her very tightly, because he loves her infinitely despite all her faults.”
A DREAM IN “THE ELYSIAN FIELDS”
Sadly, she resolved to remain single all her life, and I returned home to write the following tale, “The Elysian Fields,”91 viz.:
Vexed by your barbarous resolution, announced so positively last evening, to remain single all your life in respect to your dear husband, I went home, fell on my bed, and, believing myself dead, found myself in the Elysian Fields.
There M. Helvétius received me with great courtesy, having known me for some time, he said, by the reputation I had there. He asked me a thousand things about the war, and about the present state of religion, liberty, and the government in France. “You ask nothing then of your dear friend Madame H—;” I said, “Nevertheless she still loves you excessively and I was at her place but an hour ago.”
“Ah!” said he, “you make me remember my former felicity.—But it is necessary to forget it in order to be happy here. During several of the early years, I thought only of her. Finally I am consoled. I have taken another wife. The most like her that I could find. She is not, it is true, so completely beautiful, but she has as much good sense, a little more of Spirit, and she loves me infinitely. Her continual study is to please me; and she has actually gone to hunt the best nectar and the best ambrosia in order to regale me this evening; remain with me and you will see her.”
At these words the new Madame H——entered with the nectar: at which instant I recognized her to be Madame F——,92 my old American friend. I reclaimed to her. But she told me coldly, “I have been your good wife forty-nine years and four months, nearly a half century ; be content with that. Here I have formed a new connection, which will endure to eternity.”
Offended by this refusal of my Eurydice, I suddenly decided to leave these ungrateful spirits, to return to the good earth, to see again the sunshine and you. “Here I am! Let us revenge ourselves.”
I often think of the happiness I so long enjoy’d in the sweet company of Madame Helvétius and her family at Auteuil. When we meet in Paradise, the pleasures of that place will be augmented by our recollection of all the circumstances of our acquaintance on earth below.
MY LONG CONTINU’D FRIENDSHIP WITH MRS. STEVENSON
It was always with great pleasure to think of my long continu’d friendship, some of the happiest years of my life, that I spent with Mrs. Stevenson and her daughter Polly under her room and her company in London. I wrote to her as often as I could do. If circumstances had permitted, nothing would have afforded me so much satisfaction as to have been with her in the same house & to experience again her faithful tender care and attention to my interests, health and comfortable living, which so long & steadily attach’d me to her, & which I shall ever remember with gratitude. I wrote her the following: To Margaret Stevenson
Jan. 25, 1779
I rejoice to learn that your health is establish’d, & that you live pleasantly in a country town with agreeable neighbours, & have your dear children about you. My love to every one of them. I long to see them and you; but the times do not permit me the hope of it.
Why do you never write to me? I us’d to love to read your letters, & I regret your long silence. They were season’d with good sense and friendship, & even your spelling pleas’d me: Polly knows I think the worst spelling the best. I do not write to her by this conveyance : You will let her know that I acknowledge the receipt of her pleasing letter dated the 11TH instant.
I have nothing to complain of but a little too much business, & the want of that order and economy in my family that reign’d in it when under your prudent direction. My paper gives me only room to add, that I am ever
Yours most affectionately,
B FRANKLIN
GOOD HEALTH FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS
I had enjoy’d continu’d health for nearly 20 years, except once in two or three years a slight fit of the gout,93 which generally terminated in a week or ten days; and once an intermitting fever, got from making experiments over stagnant waters. I was sometimes vex’d with an itching on the back, which I observed particularly after eating freely of beef. And sometimes after long confinement at writing, with little exercise, I felt sudden pungent pains in the flesh of different parts of the body, which I was told was scorbutic. A journey used to free me of them. I continued in health, notwithstanding the omission of my yearly journeys, which I was never able to take while in France, being confined necessarily by business. I was accustomed to what is called good living, used but little exercise, being, from the nature of my employment as well as from love of books, much in my chamber writing and reading. But I had a large garden to walk in, and I took some advantage from that.
A PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE
I had not much time to consider philosophical matters, but did receive an account of M. Volta’s electrical machine, called by the discoverer Electrophorus perpetuus, which speculated that the electric force once excited might be kept alive years together. From what I could tell from his description, it must be a mistake. I had known an electric force to be continued many months in a phial hermetically sealed, and supposed it might be so preserved for ages; but though one may, by repeatedly touching the knob of a charg’d bottle with a small insulated plate (like the upper one of the electrophore) draw successively an incredible number of sparks, one after each touch, and those for a while not apparently different in magnitude, yet at length they will become small, and the charge be finally exhausted. But I had not seen the experiment, and would be wrong to give an opinion.
I HAVE NEVER MADE THE LEAST PROFIT BY ANY OF MY INVENTIONS
I have never entered into any controversy in defense of my philosophical opinions; I leave them to take their chance in the world. If they are right, truth and experience will support them. If wrong, they ought to be refuted and rejected. Disputes are apt to sour one’s temper and disturb one’s quiet. I have no private interest in the reception of my inventions by the world, having never made nor proposed to make the least profit by any of them. The English King’s changing his pointed conductors for blunt ones was therefore a matter of small importance to me. If I had had a wish about it, it would have been that he had rejected them altogether as ineffectual, for it is only since he thought himself and family safe from the thunder of heaven that he dared to use his own thunder in destroying his innocent subjects.
ADVENTURES OF ONE DAY’S ANNOYANCE
Adventures of all descriptions came my way in Paris. The following account records only one day’s annoyance:
First, a man came to tell me he had invented a machine which would go of itself, without the help of a spring, weight, air, water, or any of the elements, or the labour of man or beast; and with force sufficient to work four machines for cutting tobacco; that he had experience’d it; would show it me if I would come to his house; and would sell the secret of it for two hundred louis.94 I doubted it, but promis’d to go to him in order to see it.
Next, a Mons. Coder came with a proposition, in writing, to levy 600 men to be employ’d in landing on the coast of England and Scotland, to burn and ransom towns and villages in order to put a stop to the English proceedings in that way in America. I thanked him and told him I would not approve it, nor had I any money at hand for such a purpose. Moreover, it would not be permitted by the French government.
Then, a man came with a request that I would patronize & recommend to the government an invention he had by which means a considerable body might be admitted into a town, one at a time, unsuspected, and after assembling, surp
rise it. I told him I was not a military man, of course no judge of such matters, and advised him to apply to the Bureau de la Guerre. He said he had no friends and so could procure no attention. The number of wild schemes propos’d to me was so great, and they had heretofore taken so much of my time, that I began to reject all, tho’ possibly some of them may have been worth notice.
Finally, I received a parcel from an unknown philosopher, who submitted to my consideration a memoir on the subject of elementary fire, containing experiments in a dark chamber. It seemed to be well written, and was in English, with a little tincture of French idiom. I wished to see the experiments, however, without which I could not well judge of it.
An anonymous letter was delivered to me at 9 in the evening, May 20, 1778. It seemed intended to draw me out into the gardens for some bad purpose, as the person who pretended to have such urgent business with me never appeared, though (refusing to go out at that time of night) I appointed the next day at 11 o’clock.
The Compleated Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (1757-1790) Page 18
