by Debby Holt
Rory went out after supper, apologising profusely for breaking up the party. After he’d gone, Neil asked Tess about Jamie. ‘Have you heard from him recently? I seem to remember he said something about a TV show?’
‘The signs seem to be good,’ Tess said. ‘You should ring him.’
‘I know.’ Neil smiled and took her mother’s hand. ‘I’ve been a little… preoccupied lately.’
That was it. Tess couldn’t take any more. She rose to her feet and said, ‘I’m afraid I shall have to leave the party too. I have a lecture to prepare.’
‘May I say something?’ Neil’s eyes stared straight at her. ‘I know this evening can’t have been easy for you. It’s not easy for any of us. It was good of you to come and it’s meant a lot to your mother.’
‘Well…’ Tess said feebly, ‘I’m glad.’
‘All this must seem so crazy.’ He flashed Tess a smile. ‘I met your mother and… I adore her. I’m a lucky man, I know that. But we’ve done nothing wrong. Your father no longer wants your mother and I do. I want her very much.’
‘Oh Neil!’ Her mother leant against his shoulder and put her hand to his chest.
No question. It was definitely time to go. Only later did it occur to Tess that Neil’s poor wife had been airbrushed out of the equation. The party had happened less than a fortnight ago and already he’d forgotten his wife of ten years. He wasn’t the only one to be behaving strangely. Freya Eliza Cameron had always been proud of her feminist credentials and yet now she simpered and smiled every time her ‘boys’ praised her housework and cooking abilities. Tess’s father’s behaviour was incomprehensible and she was having sex dreams. Nothing and nobody made sense.
On Friday, Tess was half-asleep throughout the day, the result of a long night spent following the course of the Scottish Referendum. She only just made the train to Darrowbridge and it was standing room only. She was forced to stand in between the carriages, her rucksack between her feet, her body swaying gently against a sharp-suited young man who seemed to think she was touching him up.
‘What’s your name then?’ he asked.
She sighed. ‘Tess.’
‘I’m Gideon. It’s a crap name, don’t you think?’
‘No. I like it.’ She shouldn’t have said that.
‘You have beautiful hair.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Some people hate red hair. I don’t.’
‘My hair’s auburn not red but…’
‘Don’t take offence. Didn’t I say I liked it?’
‘Well, thanks again.’ Her phone rang and she had to lean against Gideon in order to dig it out of her pocket. ‘Jamie,’ she said with exaggerated enthusiasm. ‘Hi!’
He sounded downcast. ‘Have you heard the news from Scotland?’
‘I’d have to be blind and deaf not to. I’m so sorry.’
‘Well, I’ll keep the flag flying.’
‘Look at it this way. Now the Union’s safe, you’ll keep attracting English visitors. And it might be good for the programme.’
‘That’s why I rang. You’re on your way to see your father?’
‘Yes. The train’s packed.’
‘I won’t keep you long. I thought I’d better warn you that you’ll get an email this evening. It’ll offer you a provisional plan of what you might want to talk about…’
‘But I haven’t a clue…’
‘I know. Don’t worry. Don’t answer it. We’ll talk about it Sunday evening. I’ve got a big wedding on tomorrow.’
‘All right. I’ll speak to you then. Bye now.’
She managed to put her phone away without bumping into Gideon.
‘Is that your boyfriend?’ he asked.
She nodded. ‘We get married next month.’
‘Oh.’ Gideon shifted slightly.
‘He likes my hair too,’ Tess said.
‘Good,’ Gideon said. ‘I’m very happy for you.’ He said nothing for the rest of the journey.
When Tess arrived at the station there was no sign of Felix. Instead, Geoff, the local taxi driver, stood by his cab waving to her.
‘Geoff,’ she said, ‘is there something wrong with Dad?’
‘He sounded fine two hours ago. He asked me to collect you. He probably fancied a beer or two.’
Her father was a past master at sounding fine when he wasn’t. As they drove through Darrowbridge, she half-listened to Geoff while he aired his extremely suspect views on the Scots and their referendum. When he finally stopped the car, he told her that Felix had sorted out the bill.
‘I’ll see you on Sunday,’ he said. ‘Can you remember the train you’re getting?’
‘It’s the four thirty but…’
‘Good, I’ll pick you up at four ten. It’s always better to be early.’
He drove off before she could question him further. She picked up her rucksack and waved as she saw Felix in the doorway. Anna had led her to believe he’d resemble a tramp. He looked thinner and pale but his clothes were respectable and his hair was clean. He was touchingly keen to show how well he was managing. ‘I went online today and learnt how to make pastry and so tonight we have ham and mushroom pie made with my own fair hands. I was about to start work on the beans.’
‘I can help with them,’ Tess said. The house was aired – ‘It’s like the Black Hole of Calcutta,’ Anna had warned – and in the kitchen the beans were ready and waiting.
The house phone rang and Tess could have sworn that Felix flinched. She picked it up and rather quickly wished she had not.
Grandma was in no mood for small talk. ‘I presume you’re with your father,’ she said. ‘At least I have the chance to speak to you at last.’
‘Grandma, I’m so sorry. I have meant to ring you…’ She threw a glance at her father who reacted by shaking his head vehemently and pulling a bottle of wine from the fridge. ‘The thing is we’re about to eat supper.’
Grandma was implacable. ‘It can wait. This afternoon, Katherine spoke to Archie’s wife, Sally.’
‘Who’s Archie?’ Tess asked. ‘And who’s Sally?’
‘They are relatives of Neil Lockhart and they were guests at his anniversary party… Are you still there?’
‘Yes, Grandma.’
‘Sally told Katherine that Neil has left his wife to go off with a woman called Freya Cameron. Now I hope I’m wrong, but am I right to assume she was talking about your mother?’
‘Well yes, I suppose she was…’
‘But I don’t understand. I thought she’d never met him before the party.’
‘That’s right. You see… She was in a bit of a state…’
‘Why?’
Tess gave up. ‘I have Dad right here. I think you’d better ask him.’
Felix had just poured two very large glasses of wine and he looked at Tess in horror. She didn’t care. She handed him the phone and picked up her glass.
‘Ma,’ Felix said, ‘how nice to talk to you again…’ He stood up and began pacing the kitchen, pushing his hands through his hair. ‘No, of course I mean it… I didn’t want to worry you… No, I’m fine. I told Freya before the party that I wanted us to separate… Of course I’m telling you the truth… I really can’t explain it now… No, absolutely not, I’m deluged with work which I’m trying to do, so I can get up to Scotland to see you in a few weeks’ time… Yes of course I still want to come. I’m very much looking forward to it. We can talk about things then… You mustn’t be cross with Tess. I asked her not to tell you. I wanted… I wanted to tell you in my own time and to be perfectly honest this isn’t it. Tess has just come down from London, dinner’s getting cold and I’d rather talk to you about this, face to face… I’m sure you’re concerned and I appreciate that but both Tess and I know very little about Freya’s movements at present and… Ma, I do not want to talk at the moment, I’ll see you soon.’
Tess had begun preparing the beans. When her father finished his call, she put down her knife for a few moments before taking it up
again and continuing with her job.
Felix picked up a saucepan and then slammed it down on the hob. He said, ‘I can’t cope with my mother at the moment.’
Tess raised her eyebrows. ‘You made that pretty obvious.’
‘The rumour-mills are working overtime up there.’ Felix pulled up a chair beside Tess. ‘Can you leave the beans for a moment? I would be grateful if you could tell me exactly what did happen at the party?’
Tess put down her knife. She wondered if her father had asked her down here in order to ask her that question. ‘Mr Lockhart wanted to show Mum a picture of his ancestor in his library. Mrs Lockhart asked Jamie and me to tell them to come back to the party and then she came with us, which was a pity because we found Mr Lockhart kissing Mum.’
‘I see.’ Felix gave a rough laugh. ‘Your mother is amazing. A week after she despatches her husband, she moves in with another man.’
‘Mum didn’t despatch you. You despatched her. I had supper with her and Mr Lockhart on Wednesday. Mr Lockhart said that you didn’t want Mum and he did. He has a point.’
Felix pushed his hands in the pockets of his trousers. ‘What’s he like? Tall, dark and handsome?’
‘Yes to all three,’ Tess said. She was in no mood to be gentle with him. He was being quite irrational and she hated upsetting Grandma.
‘Is your mother happy?’
‘What do you think, Dad?’
‘I mean, do you think she’s happy with him?’
‘She says she is.’
‘Well.’ Felix stood up and walked across to the window.
‘Dad, you can hardly blame her for…’
‘I don’t.’
‘Good.’ Tess picked up her knife and began again to cut the beans. ‘I thought I’d go and see Ivy in the morning. Will you drive me over there?’
‘You can take your mother’s car. I’m not in the right mood to see Ivy.’
‘It’s supposed to be sunny tomorrow. We could go for a walk in the afternoon.’
‘No.’ Still he had his back to her.
‘Why not? It’ll do you good to get out. Anna said you wouldn’t leave the house last weekend.’ She stared at his back. ‘Why did you ask Geoff to come and get me? And why is Geoff driving me to the station on Sunday?’
And now at last, Felix did turn. ‘I can’t leave the house. That’s why I’m on sick leave.’
Tess frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘That makes two of us.’
‘You mean you literally cannot walk out of the house?’
‘Correct. Don’t look so worried. It’s a symptom of stress or something. The doctor came over on Tuesday. He says it will pass.’
‘But, Dad, that’s terrible. How do you manage for food and stuff?’
‘Believe it or not, Tess, I do know how to order groceries online.’
‘But…’
‘I’m dealing with it, Tess. Tell me about Lockhart’s son. The one you met up in Scotland. What’s his name…?’
‘He’s called Jamie.’
‘Are you and he just friends or…?’
‘We’re just friends.’
‘Thank God for that.’ For the first time that evening, Felix gave a genuine smile. ‘One Lockhart in the family is more than enough.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Maggie had been deeply upset by her call to Felix. Tess sounded unhappy and uncomfortable while Felix sounded positively unhinged. Maggie had a restless night. This afternoon she had taken herself off to the cinema and watched – if that was the word – a film called Guardians of the Galaxy that she had completely failed to follow.
This evening, she and Katherine were washing up after dinner. Katherine had cleared away the plates and Maggie had loaded them into the dishwasher. Now Katherine had donned her yellow gloves and was washing the remaining pans while Maggie dried.
‘Maggie!’ Katherine said, and then again with more volume, ‘Maggie!’
Maggie blinked, ‘Yes?’
‘You’ve spent the last five minutes drying up that one Pyrex bowl. I know you’re upset by all the rumours but…’
‘I’m a silly old woman,’ Maggie said. She put the bowl down on the table with an air of heavy finality. ‘You were right and I was wrong.’
‘Well, that’s a first! What was I right about?’
‘The Lockharts.’ Henry the Second had ordered monks to whip him after the murder of Thomas à Becket. In the same way it seemed only right to Maggie that it should be Katherine to whom she should break the latest news.
‘Oh dear,’ Katherine said. ‘Are we talking about Jamie or Neil?’
‘Why would I talk about Jamie?’ Maggie strove to subdue her irritation and recall her impulse towards humility. ‘I rang Felix last night. The rumours are true. Freya’s moved up to London to be with Neil Lockhart.’
‘Oh!’ Katherine’s hands stood suspended above the frothy bubbles. This was another first. Katherine had no idea what to say.
‘Felix pretends he’s all right,’ Maggie said. ‘He even told me he’d asked Freya for a divorce before the party. I don’t believe that for a second. He’s always adored Freya.’
‘Of course he has. Do you remember their wedding? Freya was the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. When she walked up the aisle with her father, Felix turned round and he looked…’ Katherine dropped her hands at last and began to wash the casserole lid. ‘I shall never forget how he looked.’
Maggie shook her head. ‘The first time I met her I thought she’d be trouble. She was far too beautiful. I couldn’t understand what a glamorous model would do with Felix.’
‘I don’t see that at all. Everyone likes Felix.’
‘I know but he’s no Cary Grant. She could have had her pick of any number of beautiful young men.’
‘But she wanted him,’ Katherine said. ‘And they’ve always seemed so happy. Why would she leave her marriage to go off with a stranger? It doesn’t make sense. Perhaps Felix did say something to her beforehand. It’s not like him to tell lies.’
‘You didn’t hear him on the phone. He was absolutely fine. He was very happy. He was busy with work. He did promise he’d come up here soon but I’m not even sure he meant that. I feel so guilty. If I hadn’t pressed Tess to come with us to Flora’s party in May, she’d not have met Jamie, and Freya wouldn’t have met his father.’
‘That’s ridiculous,’ Katherine said. ‘No one could predict this would happen.’
‘You did.’
‘I did no such thing. If Freya ran off with Neil Lockhart, she must have had some compelling reason to do so. A woman in her fifties does not walk out of a happy marriage in order to follow a stranger to London.’
‘She might if he were very… desirable.’
‘Nonsense. Can you imagine either of us doing that?’
‘No,’ Maggie said, ‘but then we weren’t deluged with offers by gorgeous admirers.’
Katherine sniffed. ‘Speak for yourself,’ she said.
Tess would never forget saying goodbye to her father. He stood impotently in the doorway while she climbed into Geoff’s taxi. He gave a buoyant wave that was utterly at odds with the frustration in his eyes. She was going back to London while he was literally imprisoned in his house.
On the train, she sat trying to digest everything that had happened. She still didn’t know why he’d created this mess. She wasn’t even sure that he knew. None of it made sense. If he wanted to leave his wife, why would he care so deeply – and he obviously did – about the fact that she had moved in with someone else? And, meanwhile, here was she, stuck in a no-man’s land, aware that she was deeply attached to Jamie, which was in itself an impossible state of affairs and now made more so by the undeniable fact that her father hated all men called Lockhart.
She began to flick through her emails and found the one Jamie had told her about. A woman called Geraldine wanted – ‘asap please!’ – a five-hundred-word analysis of Scott’s influence on Scotland. She
also wanted to meet Tess in person, presumably to see if she was as perfect as Jamie had told her. There was an email from Jamie to say he’d met a local historian who Tess would like. He ended with a cheery See you soon!
Her phone went. She pulled it from her bag and answered it without checking the caller, which was a big mistake since of all the people in the world she least wanted to talk to right now, Richard the Lunger was probably top of her list.
‘Thank you for not hanging up.’ His voice was stiff and formal.
‘Hi, Richard, how are you?’
And now the words came out in a torrent. ‘I want to talk to you. Actually, I want to talk at you, if that’s all right with you. You see I’ve been thinking about you for quite a long time and I feel – I do feel quite sincerely – that you need to know a few things. You and I saw each other for over a year. We went out together, we rang each other, you were pleased to see me, I was pleased to see you and then, when I eventually do the obvious next step, which any other man would have done long before by the way, you treat me like I’m some sort of pervert and I am not a pervert…’
‘I never thought you were…’
‘Yes, you did, or if you didn’t you looked as if you did and I honestly think you’re quite fucked up or else you have no idea how a man might feel when a woman he cares for can’t bear him to show even the slightest display of affection. You hit me! I mean, you really hit me! The point is, Tess, if you don’t like men you should stay away from them because it’s not fair to make them feel guilty when they’ve done nothing wrong and… That’s all I wanted to say. I just wanted you to know.’
‘Can I speak now?’ Tess glanced round the carriage. The only other occupants were an elderly couple in the aisle opposite her and they were both absorbed by their magazines. ‘One: we saw each other a lot because I thought we were friends. Two: I never knew that friendship between a man and a woman had to include sex as well. Three: if you thought it did, you should have told me long before you lunged at me. Four: next time you meet a girl you like, don’t blame her if she doesn’t want to have sex with you. It isn’t obligatory. I’m sorry you’re so angry but I refuse to let you make me feel guilty because I don’t happen to want to go to bed with you.’
