St. Piran's: The Wedding!

by Alison Roberts

His mother was seriously ill.

  His ex-lover had appeared in his life again.

  He had a child-care issue on his hands.

  Who could he turn to?

  Another silence. Megan couldn’t ignore the trouble Josh was in here.

  Just because he’d broken her heart...because they could never be together...it didn’t mean that she had to stop caring, did it?

  Even if it did, it didn’t mean that she was capable of stopping.

  ‘I can look after them,’ she said quietly. ‘All of them.’

  Both Josh and Anna’s faces lightened instantly.

  ‘I couldn’t ask you—’

  ‘Would you really?’ Anna spoke over Josh’s exclamation.

  ‘I can’t take them home, though,’ Megan added. ‘My cottage is a bit...uninhabitable at the moment.’

  ‘Take them to my place,’ Anna suggested. ‘The key’s just upstairs in my office. You know where our cottage is, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes. You had your wedding on the beach just down the hill.’

  Josh was shaking his head. ‘It would be better to take the twins home. My keys are right here. And they might be happier if they have their own stuff around.’

  Meaning that they might not want to be with her? A complete stranger?

  The look Josh gave her was apologetic. As if he was reading her mind.

  ‘I mean, there’s all their toys. And the food they like. And their PJs and beds if things don’t...’

  The unspoken warning that things might not go as well as expected was enough to make them all suddenly anxious to get going.

  ‘Fine.’ Megan nodded. ‘I’ll take them home to your place, Josh. Only...’

  He turned his head, already moving to go and find his house keys.

  ‘Only I don’t know where you live.’

  ‘Anna can fill you in.’ Josh kept going.

  Anna smiled. ‘That’s easy. Josh bought the Gallaghers’ farm, next door to my place. On the St Piran side. Crash has a basket on the veranda. He won’t wander—it’s always been his second home.’

  Josh was back, thrusting a set of keys into Megan’s hand.

  ‘Thank you so much.’ Stooping swiftly, he touched the twins’ heads. ‘Be good for Megan,’ he told them. ‘I’ll be home soon.’

  Claire’s bed was moving past them now, with most of the staff disappearing as well. Any moment now and Megan would find herself alone with Josh’s children and the keys to his house in her hand.

  How surreal this all was had just gone off the Richter scale. Was she the only person who found this unbelievably bizarre?

  No. Claire was watching Megan as her bed was manoeuvred through the door of the resus room. There was concern in her face. And sympathy? Something else as well.

  Maybe a message. One that said: You can do this. We all know how strong you are.

  It wasn’t true. Nobody around here knew how strong she had become over the last two years. Maybe if she’d had that kind of strength way back, none of this would have happened, but at least she had it now.

  She could do this.

  And if she succeeded, it would prove to everyone just how far she had moved on with her life.

  She could prove it to Josh.

  She could prove it to herself?

  CHAPTER THREE

  HOW WEIRD WAS this?

  To be going home to his children, knowing that Megan Phillips was there. Looking after Max and Brenna, like a stand-in mother.

  In his house.

  Like a stand-in wife?

  No.

  Josh wasn’t going into that space. The idea of he and Megan being together had died a long, long time ago.

  The moment he’d told her that Rebecca was pregnant.

  Parking his car next to where the family wagon was, Josh walked towards the rambling, old farmhouse that looked out over the ocean. It was far too dark and drizzly to see anything, especially in the welcoming glow of the house lights, but he could hear the sea and the wash of waves was a familiar, comforting pulse of sound.

  Crash was on the veranda. Watching. Ready to protect his second home from any intruder. His tail began waving as soon as Josh climbed the steps, however, and a damp nose nudged his hand in welcome.

  He let the big dog into the house with him as he entered.

  Josh knew he needed some moral support. He just didn’t realise how much until he walked inside and could smell hot food and hear the sound of voices and could feel...

  Could feel Megan’s presence in his house. Even before he entered the big, open-plan living area where the children were snuggled up on the couch on either side of Megan, listening to a story.

  Josh had to pause for a moment. To listen to the soft lilt of Megan’s voice. To soak in the tilt of her head and the way his children were tucked into the crooks of her arms as if it was the most familiar, and loved, place in the world for them.

  Dear Lord...if things had been different...it could have been their son listening to Megan reading that story. Getting sleepy and needing to be tucked up in bed. Leaving his parents to have a quiet evening together bathed in that flickering firelight.

  That soul-deep yearning had been successfully buried for years now.

  But it hadn’t gone away, had it?

  Perhaps it was fortunate that Crash didn’t get stopped in his tracks and mesmerised the way Josh had been. The dog padded far enough into the room to interrupt the story.

  ‘Cash.’ Max wriggled free of Megan’s arm and slid down from the couch, running to throw his arms around the big animal.

  ‘Daddy.’ Brenna also wriggled free and made straight for Josh, who was glad of the need to move and pick his daughter up. He had to give her a good cuddle and kiss as well and that covered a few more awkward seconds. And when he looked up, Megan’s gaze was on Crash.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t realise he was allowed inside. I shouldn’t have left him out in the cold like that.’

  ‘That’s his spot,’ Josh assured her. ‘It means Anna can drop him off or collect him without worrying about disturbing us.’

  Us.

  God...it sounded as if he was including Megan.

  ‘She’ll be here to pick him up soon,’ he added hurriedly. ‘She had a few things to catch up on and wanted to check on Mum again.’

  ‘How is she? Did James get to see her in the end?’

  Josh nodded. ‘Yes. He agrees that bypass surgery isn’t necessary. Anna put in four stents and everything’s looking great. The damage should be minimal and Mum will be able to come home in a day or two.’

  ‘That’s wonderful.’

  ‘Yes. I’m sorry it all took so long, though.’

  ‘No worries. You said it might.’

  He hadn’t thought it would take this long, though. That phone call to update Megan on progress and fill her in on what the children might need had been hours ago.

  ‘Thank you so much,’ he said now. ‘I don’t know how we would have managed it you hadn’t been there.’

  Megan turned her head away. ‘I’m sure you would have managed just fine.’

  Of course they would have.

  Just like Josh had managed when Megan had finally walked out of his life, physically, months after her emotional departure.

  Just when he’d needed her most.

  ‘When did you get back from Africa?’

  ‘Today.’ Megan turned back, a wry smile shaping her mouth.

  Welcome home.

  The words hung there, unspoken.

  Josh cleared his throat. ‘Max, don’t let Crash lick your face, mate. Come on...it’s high time you two were in bed.’

  Megan closed the story book and put it on the table beside the couch. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’

  Josh had scooped up Max as well. He had to peer over two small heads to catch Megan’s gaze.

  ‘Couldn’t you stay for a few more minutes...?’ He had barely had the chance to thank her properly, let alone talk about anything other than
today’s drama. He should let her leave but... His mouth seemed to be moving of its own accord. Producing words that weren’t getting filtered through any of the usual channels.

  ‘For a coffee or something?’ he was saying. ‘To... I don’t know... I don’t feel like we’ve even said hello yet.’

  A long pause this time, during which Megan got slowly to her feet.

  Was it his imagination or did she close her eyes and dip her head a fraction, almost as if she was praying for strength?

  Whatever it was, it lasted only a heartbeat and then she spoke very quietly.

  ‘I’ll put the kettle on, then.’

  * * *

  Megan was sitting at the kitchen table with a half-empty mug by the time Josh returned.

  ‘Sorry. That took a bit longer than usual. I think they’re missing their gran.’

  Megan smiled. ‘I’m sure she’s missing them as well. They’re...gorgeous kids, Josh.’

  ‘They are, aren’t they?’ He tried not to sound too full of pride as he went to the mug on the bench beside the kettle.

  ‘I didn’t finish making your coffee.’ Megan was watching him. ‘I didn’t know whether you still took it black or...or if you’d started having sugar or something.’

  ‘Same old,’ Josh said lightly. ‘Some things never change, do they?’

  Their eye contact was fleeting but significant. Things did change over time. Little things, like how you had your coffee. Big things, like how you lived your life.

  Megan was looking around as if she was trying to find a way of changing the subject.

  ‘This place is wonderful. I’d never have thought of you living on a farm, though.’

  Did she think of him, then? Josh found it unexpectedly hard to take his next breath. His chest felt tight with some nameless emotion. Relief? Hope? He fought to shake it off.

  ‘It’s not a farm any more. Doug Gallagher died suddenly eighteen months ago and June decided to sell up.’ He poured boiling water into his mug. ‘The neighbours on the other side wanted the land but not the house so she subdivided. We’ve only got about three acres or so around the house. More like a big garden than a farm.’

  ‘Must be perfect for the kids with all this space and the beach just across the road.’

  ‘Seems to work well.’ Josh sat down at the end of the table, at a right angle to Megan.

  It felt too close.

  It didn’t feel close enough.

  He had to close his eyes for a moment. To focus and get through the wave of confusion.

  ‘It is perfect,’ he heard himself saying aloud. ‘I’m lucky enough to have the perfect life.’ Who was he trying to convince here? Megan or himself? ‘It’s a bit further away from work than the apartment,’ he added, ‘but that was no place to try and raise children.’

  ‘No.’ The mention of the St Piran’s townhouse he had shared with Rebecca had chilled the atmosphere, and Megan’s tone, noticeably. Or had it been his declaration that he had the perfect life? One that didn’t contain her? Maybe he’d gone too far in erecting protective boundaries.

  ‘I needed to get away, anyway,’ Josh added quietly. ‘To make a fresh start.’

  Megan seemed to be finding the colour of her remaining coffee fascinating. ‘As you do,’ she murmured.

  The tiny silence couldn’t be allowed to continue because anything could have taken root and flourished enough to get spoken aloud. Things like...

  I’ve missed you. So, so much.

  It would be much safer to stick to less personal topics but there was something personal that Josh couldn’t ignore any longer.

  ‘Are you OK, Megan?’ Oh, help...the query sounded far too intimate. Dangerous territory. He had to back off fast. ‘Physically, I mean?’

  He couldn’t read the glance he received in response. Women were so good at that. Making you feel like you couldn’t have stuffed your foot any further into your mouth if you’d tried.

  ‘I’m getting over a rather nasty bout of dengue fever. Second one in a six-month period.’

  ‘Sounds horrible.’

  ‘It’s certainly not pleasant. I’m having a bit more trouble getting my energy level back this time. And I’m still getting a bit of joint pain.’

  Josh didn’t like that. It made him feel like he did when one of the twins got sick. Or fell over and skinned a knee. The feeling of needing to make it better.

  ‘Do you need anything? Anti-inflammatories or...multivitamins or something?’

  Megan shook her head. ‘I’m fine, Josh. I just need a bit of time, that’s all.’ She glanced up and her face was amused. ‘I’m a doctor, remember? I can look after myself.’

  The amusement made her face more alive. Brought a hint to her eyes of the kind of sparkle they used to have. Josh wanted to keep it there.

  ‘Doctors make the world’s worst patients,’ he reminded her with mock severity. ‘Sometimes they have to be told exactly what they should be doing.’

  To his disappointment, the amusement faded from Megan’s eyes and she sighed. ‘I have been told,’ she said sadly. ‘That’s the only reason I left Africa.’

  ‘The only reason?’ The question popped out before Josh could stop it and it earned him another one of those inscrutable looks.

  ‘I need to sort my cottage out. It’s turned into a bit of a mess.’

  How ridiculous was it to feel disappointed? What had he expected? That Megan would say she’d come back because she’d wanted to see him? He wouldn’t have wanted that, anyway.

  Would he?

  A wave of something like confusion made Josh’s next query tentative. ‘Are you planning to live in it again?’

  ‘No.’ The head shake was decisive. ‘But renting it out hasn’t worked out so well. I might have to sell up.’

  And then she’d have no ties to Penhally left at all. That was a good thing.

  Wasn’t it?

  ‘Where will you go?’ Josh could feel himself frowning. ‘Back to Africa?’

  ‘I can’t. Not if I stay with MSF, at least.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I’ve got immunity to two types of dengue fever now. I’m also female and Caucasian. It puts me in a high-risk bracket to get the haemorrhagic form of dengue and that can be fatal. It’s not a risk that MSF is prepared to let their medical staff take.’

  Josh felt his gut tighten. ‘Surely it’s not a risk you’d be prepared to take either?’

  Megan’s silence spoke volumes. She wanted to go back, that much was crystal clear.

  Why? What would make anyone want to risk their lives like that? Something was nagging at the back of Josh’s mind. A cryptic conversation he’d had with Tash a while back. Not that they ever talked about Megan these days—he’d made sure it had been a no-go subject ever since the wedding—but she’d said something about how happy Megan was finally. And she’d had a smile that suggested...

  ‘Is there someone in Africa?’ Josh heard himself ask. ‘Someone...special?’

  ‘You could say that.’ Megan nodded and she had the same sort of smile on her face he remembered Tash having. A...loving kind of smile.

  Josh had to look away. He gulped down a mouthful of coffee and tried to think of something...anything...to change the subject.

  He didn’t want to hear about the new love of Megan’s life.

  It was good that she was happy.

  It wasn’t as if either of them would ever consider being together. Not now.

  Josh had to regain control of what was happening here. Of his life. He’d almost lost it today, what with his mother’s health scare.

  With seeing Megan again.

  But the shock was wearing off. Those odd frissons of confusion were fading. Knowing that Megan had moved on to someone else should be all he needed to put things back into perspective.

  To help him remember what it had been like two years ago.

  There was anger in the mix, deep down, wasn’t there? Anger that Megan had not believed him when he’d said that hi
s marriage was truly over before he’d gone to her bed. That sleeping with Rebecca that one, last time had been nothing more than a moment of weakness. Of feeling guilty and sorry for the woman who’d made the mistake of marrying him.

  That anger had helped a lot in those months of Rebecca’s pregnancy when he had been struggling with having had to end things with Megan before they could even get started properly.

  And then his world had collapsed around him. Rebecca had died and he’d been left with two tiny, fragile babies and he’d been facing the impossible.

  And what had Megan done?

  Walked out and gone to the other side of the world.

  She hadn’t even gone to the funeral.

  No. Josh couldn’t think of a way to change the subject. All he could do was sit there and stare at Megan.

  She had found someone else?

  * * *

  Thank God Anna chose that moment to arrive at Josh’s house to collect Crash.

  They could both hear the front door opening and closing again. And Anna’s cheerful call.

  ‘It’s only me. Anyone downstairs?’

  Even though she was avoiding eye contact, Megan could feel the way Josh had been staring at her. As though he was shocked that she could have moved on with her life?

  What the hell had he expected her to do? Sit and watch him raise Rebecca’s children and pine for what might have been?

  ‘In the kitchen, Anna.’ Megan grabbed her coffee mug and pushed her chair back. She should have left Josh’s house long ago. She shouldn’t have come in the first place. Right now, she couldn’t remember what it was she’d thought she was going to prove by doing so.

  Whatever it had been, it felt like she had failed.

  When she’d seen him gather Brenna into his arms and hold her like that. Pressing a kiss onto her soft, dark curls... The shaft of pain had felt like the knife that was permanently lodged in her heart had been twisted violently.

  Their son had never known his father. Never had a cuddle or been kissed so lovingly. Stephen had never had a chance.

  She and Josh had never had a chance.

  And it was so...unfair.

  ‘Gosh...’ Anna breezed into the kitchen. ‘It’s raining cats and dogs out there now. Thanks for letting Crash inside.’ She was grinning. ‘Not that it’s going to be easy dragging him away from your nice fire to go back to our cold cottage.’