Exhale

by Jennifer Snyder

  CHAPTER SIX

  I applied a thick layer of Chapstick as I walked through the already opened door of Movie Night. It was hot outside, but inside it was sweltering. Hot air rolled out of the front doors and crashed into me, making the sticky dampness of perspiration cling to my skin upon entrance.

  “Whew, it’s hot in here,” I muttered, fanning my face with my hand.

  “Hey, Katie,” Jane said from behind the checkout desk where she stood holding a handheld, personal fan up to her face that gave off just enough air to blow her side-cut bangs away from her eyes. “I know. The AC is broken. Gwen’s in the back, I think she’s trying to get hold of Marty so he can fix it. Be careful around her tonight. She’s in a ripe mood because of the heat. Just a warning.”

  “Great, thanks,” I muttered as I continued toward the back room to clock in while tucking an annoying strand of hair back behind my ear. I’d left it down and straightened it today. There wasn’t much I could do to make myself look good in my standard khaki pants and blue button-up polo uniform, but I could at least try to have a good hair day and put on a little makeup for Derek’s benefit.

  The further I moved into the back of the store, the hotter it became. I cursed under my breath—so much for attempting to look good for Derek tonight. If he got here in the next fifteen minutes, like he’d said he would, then I probably would still look presentable, but if it took him any longer, my hair would be frizzy and my mascara would have melted off my eyelashes by then for sure.

  I entered the back room cautiously, able to hear Gwen, the manager, mumbling to herself. She stood at the edge of her desk with the phone pressed against her ear, tapping her fire engine red nails against the receiver in annoyance. Her eyes shifted to me as I walked through the door.

  “Hey,” I smiled.

  “I don’t know how we’re supposed to work like this. I’ve already tried to call Marty three times and nobody is answering the damn phone,” Gwen snapped, fanning herself with her shirt. “I swear, I’m sweating more than a fat boy in a buffet line, waiting on all the skinny people to get the hell out of his way so he can eat.”

  I stifled a laugh as I punched in my time card. Gwen was in her early fifties and sometimes could be a riot, but she was also one of those people who you never wanted to get on their bad side.

  “Marty, hello?” Gwen said, white knuckling the receiver. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call for hours now!” She paused in her rant, obviously giving him a moment to explain. “Listen, I’ve got half a notion to tell you where you can shove it. I don’t give a rat’s ass about how you were up late working on your P.O.S. car again. The only reason you have this job as the maintenance man is because I tell your granddaddy that you stay on top of stuff. Now, don’t you dare make me out to be a liar, boy.”

  I exited the office with a smirk on my face. Poor Marty, he was about to get an earful. I had never been on Gwen’s bad side, but I had seen quite a few people get there in the year that I’d worked at Movie Night with her, at least enough to say that she could be ruthless.

  “Did she get a hold of Marty?” Jane asked in a low voice as I rounded the corner to stand behind the desk with her.

  “Oh, yes, she did,” I answered, widening my eyes for a more dramatic effect. “I’m betting he’s here in six minutes flat, starting from the time she hangs up.”

  “I’m not even going to go against that,” Jane said and I laughed. “I seriously hope he can fix it though, because if not, Gwen is going to be like this until it gets fixed and we’re going to be the ones working with her.”

  I grimaced at the thought. “I know, I hope so too.”

  A few minutes later, Gwen came out of the back office still fanning herself with her shirt, looking more annoyed than I’d ever seen her. “That boy had better be here soon, because I cannot work like this for much longer.”

  I grabbed a pile of movies Jane had just finished checking back in and beelined it for the shelves. The only way Jane and I were going to survive the night with grouchy Gwen was to stay busy.

  “Jane, grab the duster and start dusting. This place is filthy,” I heard Gwen order. Yep, staying busy was going to be the only way to stay on Gwen’s good side tonight, unless Marty got in here and magically fixed the AC.

  The minutes ticked away. Gwen remained standing behind the checkout desk with her hand on her hip, tapping her red fingernails against the countertop, and staring fixedly at the clock. The distinct sound of Marty’s beater echoed through the store and I uttered a soft thank you to whomever was up in the sky listening.

  “I was timing you. You’re lucky you walked in when you did because I was just getting ready to call your ass again.” I heard Gwen shout and I glanced over my shoulder to see Marty walk through the door, tool bag in hand.

  “Well, I’m here so no need,” Marty replied with a little attitude.

  I cut down the horror aisle and tried to hide my smirk, Gwen’s face was beat red. If Marty thought he’d gotten an earful on the phone, he was about to realize that he hadn’t heard anything until he’d seen Gwen go off face to face. I watched Marty as he carelessly walked down the center aisle and noticed through the windows behind him that a yellow Jeep had just pulled into the parking lot, and I felt my heart rate spike at the sight of the driver. Smoothing out my hair and running my middle finger underneath my eyes to get rid of any smudges, I continued placing the movies I held in my hands in their designated spots.

  “Hey,” Derek’s smooth voice breathed against the back of my neck. Goose bumps spread across my skin and I felt my breath hitch in my throat at his sudden nearness. “It’s freaking hot in here, how are you standing working here tonight?”

  “I know. The AC broke and I’m barely managing,” I said, putting the last movie in place before turning to face him directly. My eyes locked with his and I felt my face flush as images of this morning’s kiss rushed through my mind.

  Why did there seem to be so much more awkwardness between us? It wasn’t that there was never any awkwardness between us before the kiss. It’s just that now it seemed amplified, like we were in middle school and didn’t know if it was okay to hold one another’s hand. His cell phone rang in his front pocket. I knew who was calling just by hearing the beginning chords of the song—it was Kyle.

  “I was supposed meet him and some of the others at Mick’s after work. He’s probably calling because he forgot his money at the house or something.” He cracked a small smile. “So, do you want to do something together after you get off?”

  Mick’s was pretty much the only place to hang out besides the beach or someone’s house. It was a slightly rundown bowling alley with a little snack shack, a few lopsided pool tables in desperate need of a new felt job, and a small section with cheesy, old-school arcade games. I nodded. “Yeah, sure. I get off at ten.”

  “I remember,” he said, his tongue moistening his lips as he continued to stare at me. “Text me whenever you’re done here and I’ll come pick you up. I know we’ll only have an hour because of curfew and all, but I’m sure we could find something to do.”

  I took notice of how there was no suggested meaning behind his last few words like there would have been if Kyle had said them. “Okay, I will.”

  Derek licked his lips again before leaning in. I closed my eyes just before I felt the warmth of his lips press against mine. Kyle’s ringtone blared through the store once more and Derek jerked back, fishing his phone out of his front pocket. He hit ignore and looked at me.

  “I guess I’d better call him back. He’s going to keep blowing up my phone if I don’t,” he said, and I wondered if he felt the same amount of guilt pressing in on his chest as I did from how secretive it felt like we were being involving Kyle. “I’ll see you at ten.”

  I smiled, but it was halfhearted as Kyle’s ringtone blared from Derek’s cell phone again. “See you at ten.”

  “What?” he answered his phone while smiling at me as he walked away backward, exit
ing the store.

  I fanned myself like Gwen had been doing earlier as I watched Derek’s Jeep pull out of the parking lot, rewinding the last three minutes in my mind and playing them all over again.

  “What was that all about?” Jane prompted as she passed me to ring up the customer waiting at the front desk, her eyes wide.

  I made my way toward her, unable to suppress my smile. Picking up another stack of movies, I shrugged my shoulders at her.

  “You little tramp,” she whispered as I passed behind her, her word choice shocking me. “The reason why you won’t date Kyle is because you have a thing for Derek! I would have thought you would have gone for Kyle if you were planning on dating a Conner boy, but they’re both so good-looking, I guess it doesn’t matter which.” She winked.

  I was going to have to get used to that assumption, because that was exactly what everyone else would be saying too. “You and everyone else, but just like them, you were wrong.” I grinned.

  * * * *

  After washing my face and then reapplying my makeup, I pulled my frizzy hair back off my damp neck and twisted it into a low bun. I sprayed myself with the coconut body spray I kept in my purse at all times, and then lifted my arms for a pit check just to be sure. Marty had spent the last few hours tinkering with the AC unit without having any luck. Jane and I had thought on numerous occasions throughout the night that Gwen was going to jerk Marty’s screwdriver from his hand and stab him in the neck with it, but she’d restrained herself well, surprising us both.

  I gave myself a once-over in the mirror and checked my teeth again to be sure there were no tiny particles of the granola bar I’d had for a snack left between them, before going to stand out front to wait on Derek. My stomach twisted into knots as I nervously leaned against the red bricks of the building waiting for his headlights to turn into the parking lot. I wondered if he would be alone or if he would have Kyle or anyone else with him. Luckily, I didn’t have long to think about it, because he pulled into the parking lot shortly after and stopped with the passenger door directly in front of me.

  “Hey,” he greeted me as I climbed in. I smiled, examining his change of clothes. He was no longer dressed in his BI-LO uniform, but instead dressed in khaki cargo shorts, a faded brown T-shirt, and sandals. “Did they ever get the AC working?”

  “Nope,” I said, making the P pop, wishing I had thought to bring a change of clothes. I would definitely be leaving an outfit or two in my car from here on out for moments like this.

  Derek pulled forward and then stopped, waiting on traffic before pulling out. I watched him from the corner of my eye. How in the heck had this happened? How had I finally got what I had always wanted? My blood rushed through my body at the idea and I turned my head so I was no longer tempted to stare at him from the corner of my eye, because that was all I felt like doing.

  Derek cut a right at the traffic light and it dawned on me that I had no idea where we were going or what we were doing. Not that it mattered, really.

  “So…what are we going to do?” I asked once he turned down Edgemont Street, risking a glance in his direction.

  His eyes shifted from the road for a split second to look at me, that shy, little boy smile twisting the corners of his lips. “Are you hungry? I was thinking maybe we could go to Skullies, if you want to I mean.”

  I thought for a moment before answering. Skullies was a little seafood shack down on the beach. It wasn’t five-star dining by any means, but they had the best crab cakes and hush puppies I had ever tasted. It had always been Derek’s favorite place to eat, too. He loved their fish tacos.

  “Sure,” I shrugged. “I guess I could eat, if they’re open.”

  “Good, because I’m starved.” He chuckled with relief. “And I don’t think they close until eleven, but we’ll see when we get there.”

  With the music turned down low and the cool night air caressing against my skin as we drove down to the beach, I slowly began to relax and the giant knots that had formed in my stomach eventually began to loosen. Derek stopped the Jeep in the middle of an empty gravel parking lot outside of Skullies and my mouth grew dry as those knots twisted together once more in the pit of my stomach, only this time they were much larger.

  Derek and I had never been to a place to eat alone before. There was always someone with us—whether it was Kyle, or Missy, our parents, or any of our other friends—we were never alone. This was a different feeling entirely.

  We climbed out and walked across the parking lot, then weaved our way through the empty mass of tables and chairs, making our way toward the covered area with the sign that read: Order Here. I was hyper-aware the entire walk of where Derek’s hands were and whether or not he snuck a glance at me. He did. Twice. His lips had twisted into a crooked grin and from the light of the lampposts illuminating the parking lot, I thought I saw a pink tint flush his cheeks.

  After placing our orders, Derek paid for our meals and we sat at the furthest table from the shack. There was little to no light, but the moon was big and bright, hanging low in the sky and gave us just enough to see by. I stared at it as I dipped a hush puppy in some ketchup, watching how the reflection of the moon glittered brightly across the dark waters of the ocean. A million questions rolled through my mind as I stared out at the churning waters. Out of all of them, one remained playing on repeat.

  “Why the sudden change?” I blurted out without realizing that I had spoken aloud until it was too late.

  “What sudden change?” Derek asked, his eyes suddenly becoming fixated on the Styrofoam cup in his hand, letting me know he knew exactly what I was talking about, but was going to force me to clarify.

  “This,” I gestured between the two of us, unsure of how to say what we were, where we were going, what we were doing eating at this hour alone, and afraid to be the first to put a label on it. “The kiss…all of it, I guess.”

  “It wasn’t a sudden change,” Derek admitted bluntly. “Not for me.”

  I scrunched my eyebrows together and tilted my head to the side as I continued to stare at him. Did he mean what I thought he meant? “It wasn't?”

  “I guess this is when I tell you that I’ve had a crush on you since fifth grade, huh?” He laughed playfully, but all I saw reflected in his expression was pure nervousness.

  “Fifth grade?” I repeated, thinking back to fifth grade and wondering what moment it was that I had missed. Nothing came to mind. How could he have liked me longer than I’d liked him and I hadn’t even noticed? It wasn’t possible, was it?

  Derek took in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. “It was our first school dance…the Sweetheart Dance, remember? All of us were so nervous that I don’t think a single person asked someone to go with them. At least I didn’t. No one I knew did. We all just kind of went together as one big group.” He fidgeted with the straw in his cup for a moment before continuing. “There were a few girls I wanted to ask, but I was scared of rejection and so I never did.” He paused, taking a sip of his drink. I remembered that dance, but nothing significant involving him stood out to me, only Kyle. Derek’s eyes locked on mine suddenly. “I remember you had on this cute little pink dress and that your mom had curled your hair into shiny, golden ringlets. I thought you looked like an angel, but you thought she’d gone over the top and hated everything about that outfit and your hair.”

  I laughed in remembrance. “Oh, my God, I remember that! I thought I looked like freaking Goldilocks!”

  “I remember you saying that.” Derek nodded. “Anyway, I wanted to ask you to dance, but I was too nervous. Even now just thinking about it, remembering how I felt, my palms are getting all sweaty.” He chuckled and rubbed his hands together. “I could never work up the courage that night to ask you to dance, but Kyle did. I sat on the bleachers watching the two of you—him pulling on your ringlets and you laughing—feeling so jealous, it made me sick to my stomach. It was the first time I’d ever felt that way about you…and it sucked.” He stopped talking then,
seeming lost in thought, like he was reliving the entire moment again.

  I swallowed as a memory looped through my mind. “I remember that, or something about it. You told us you were sick and I asked you what was wrong. You never answered me, but you called your mom to come pick you up.”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah well, it wasn’t a total lie, I was kind of sick feeling.”

  I stared at the remnants of my food, wondering how I could have possibly missed something like this for so long. Derek shifted in his seat, bumping his knee against mine. I smirked and lifted my gaze to meet his eyes, they smoldered with intensity. My thoughts went fuzzy and my stomach flip-flopped just as he leaned in to kiss me, cupping my face gently with his fingertips. My hands grew restless in my lap as his proceeded to trail softly along with my jawline and down my neck, until stopping just beneath my shirt and lightly grazing my collarbone. I exhaled sharply from the touch. We’d crossed a line when Derek had first kissed me at Missy’s house, and now we were crossing another by touching like this, by giving into desires I had only fantasized about. Each soft brush of his fingertips against my skin sent tingles of anticipation throughout me and I shivered with warmth. I adjusted my posture, hoping his hand would slip down further beneath the edges of my shirt, but it didn't.

  Instead, Derek broke the kiss and moved his mouth to my ear. “We need to stop,” he whispered, his heavy breathing making that be the last thing that I wanted to do in the moment.

  I kept my eyes closed and peppered kisses along his jawline. “Why?”

  “Because it’s getting awfully close to curfew. You’re probably going to be late and I should really take you back to your car so you’re not too late.” His hands cupped my face once more, as he stilled my movements to press his lips to mine for one final, heated kiss. He pulled away and put his forehead to mine. “Why did I wait so long to do that the first time?”