by Joyce Alec
The quiet was oppressive in her absence, and the only thing that she had left behind was a lingering sense of doubt and fear.
“You do not think…” Alice began, her voice coming out in a croak.
Agnes swallowed hard once more, attempting to rid herself of the horrible lump in her throat.
“I would not put such rash behavior past her,” Agnes replied. “Stay here, dear friend. I shall sort this out. Don’t you worry.”
And before she had the chance to see Alice’s face, she fled from the room herself. It was a cowardly thing to do, leaving her friend in her time of need, but if there was anything to be done, anything to be said to protect Alice, then she was going to do it.
No matter if a pretty, blonde woman who had been given the world on a silver platter argued against it.
5
The Error of His Ways
The afternoon had turned a dusky shade of blue, and Robert assumed that some storms were blowing in from the east. The wind picked up, and it rattled against the windows of the manor.
“I’m glad that you are back,” Robert heard from the door.
He turned to look and found his father standing in the doorway, an easy grin on his face.
“Well, good afternoon, Father,” Robert said, and the two men shook hands. “I am pleased to be home. Although, I greatly enjoyed the company of my brother and his new bride.”
“I understand as much,” he said, and he nodded his head. “They have settled in well since we last saw two weeks ago?”
“Indeed they have. I believe she is making great use of the new riding saddle that you brought when you visited.”
“Excellent,” his father replied. “Well, now you have a day or so to rest before you are off to London.”
Robert nodded his head. “I am to meet Lord Garrison on Saturday for tea.”
His father smiled. “I must say, when you were younger, I did not believe that you would be so interested in history. Of course, these professors are most pleased to be able to help you learn, but–”
His words were interrupted by the sound of cries from the hallway. The two men exchanged curious glances, and then the sound of quick footsteps on the wooden floor reached them. They sounded insistent, determined. They soon heard a second set of footsteps.
Robert’s sister, Jane, appeared in the doorway a short moment later, her cheeks bright with exertion, her blonde hair not as perfect as when he had seen her that morning at John’s estate. Her hands clung to the sides of her dress, keeping it up above her feet so she would not stomp on it as she walked.
Something on her face told him that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
In the next moment, Agnes appeared over Jane’s shoulder, looking utterly terrified.
“Well, what is it, dear?” the duke asked.
Robert spoke at the same time. “Is everything all right?”
“No, father, it isn’t!” Jane said. She strode farther into the room, and her nostrils flared.
“Please, Jane, this is not necessary,” Agnes said, looking desperate.
Both women were obviously out of breath, for their chests rose and fell rapidly. They both must have rushed over from the manor house.
“I haven’t even been gone half a day,” Robert said. “What could have happened since I left?”
Jane’s gaze turned to Robert, and he recoiled. He had never seen that look on his sister’s face, a twisted sort of satisfaction, mingled with fury and fear. A sneer crawled up her face, and if Robert had not known her character, he might have thought she had utterly lost her mind.
She pointed a finger at him, and he immediately took a step backwards.
“Father, your son has been fraternizing with a maid!”
Chaos ensued. The first thing that Robert was aware of was the gripping fear that spread through his body like a wildfire. Every inch of him went numb, and he wondered if his knees might give way from beneath him.
In that same second, the duke turned to look at him slowly, his eyes wide, his brows arched high. The duke’s mouth hung open slightly, as if this was the absolute last thing that he had ever expected to hear. If Robert was honest with himself, it was the last thing that he had himself ever expected to hear.
Jane’s eyes burned with anger and fright, and she stood perfectly still, her gaze fixed on Robert, her finger pointed squarely at his chest.
Agnes stood behind Jane, and as soon as the words had left Jane’s mouth, she sighed, and her shoulders slumped ever so slightly. She looked down at the ground. Her posture told him that she had been too late. And with another start, he realized that she had been trying to stop Jane.
Does she know too, then?
“What on earth are you talking about?” the duke asked, not looking away from Robert, though his question was directed at Jane.
Robert looked back and forth between each of them.
“Just as I said! He and Agnes’s maid have a relationship! I heard her talking to Agnes all about it!”
The duke remained silent, but his brow furrowed.
Robert felt as if the entire room was spinning. Alice was talking about our relationship? What did she say? How could she have said anything, for we have done nothing more than converse!
He felt sickened. Robert was too invested in this young woman, knowing far well that it would never work. He allowed himself to become too blinded, and now here he was, watching as everything was crashing apart around him.
And poor Alice…what in the world had he done to her?
“Is this true?” the duke asked, an edge to his voice that was not there a moment before.
“No, Father, nothing of the like has happened,” Robert replied, perhaps a bit too hastily. “Jane is mistaken, father, I only ever–”
“He is lying!” Jane shrieked. “I heard the maid say it herself! She said, ‘There is something there. And I know he feels it too. I can see it in his eyes when he looks into mine.’ What is that, if not a relationship, brother?”
Robert could only stare at his sister. How could she be so cruel? Did she think so little of him that she meant to sabotage him so greatly? And what was the problem that she had with Alice? She seemed furious about the entire thing. Was her honor so important that she feared her brother’s actions would reflect poorly on herself?
As he looked into her face, he knew that to be true. She was so afraid of her brother’s actions damaging her chances of a good match that she would cause so much strife internally in order to protect herself.
It disgusted him.
“What is the meaning of all of this?” the duke demanded.
His sister’s rage was reflected in his father’s face, and Robert turned to him.
“Father, it is nothing. Truly.”
“Then what was all of this that your sister overheard?”
Jane took another step toward them. Agnes hung back next to the door.
Jane said, “I believe that the maid is jealous, Father. I think she hoped to seduce Robert in order to harm the family. She knows he isn’t to inherit as John did. Perhaps she thinks him to be weak and unlikely to find a match. If she were to bed him and give him a child, he would have to–”
“Enough!” Robert cried. “I will not hear this. You will not speak of the girl in such a manner, Jane. It is unbecoming of a lady.”
“If none of this is true, Robert, then why do you defend her?” asked Jane with a hint of sarcasm to her voice.
Robert felt his voice catch in his throat. Ignoring Jane, he turned to his father. “She has done nothing wrong, Father. It was me who sought her out. She was always around, and I discovered that she enjoyed reading, so I simply spoke with her about it on occasion.”
“So, there is a relationship?” his father asked, his cheeks growing red with anger. “Tell me Robert, are you lying about something? Or are you still standing by your statement that nothing is going on between the two of you? I am very confused about what transpired.”
Robert lic
ked his lips. How could he be openly honest about his feelings for the woman? There was nothing to be said, aside from the fact that he did care for her, despite the fact that he had tried to ignore the feelings. He was drawn to her, to her intelligence, to her beauty. She intrigued him, and he ignored what he knew was right in order to know her, even as little as he did. What he did know, he greatly admired, and he now feared that he had harmed her more than could ever be mended because of his selfishness.
Somewhere, deep in the corners of his mind, Jane’s words came back to him, the things that Alice had said. There is something there. And I know he feels it too. I can see it in his eyes when he looks into mine…
So she had felt it as well. The part of him that would never have believed it, but always hoped it was true, sparked into life at the thought of the words. There was something between them; he had known it from the moment they had met.
But the world was against them, he knew, a sadness filling him like no other. They could never be together, and it was hard to accept. Robert never imaged that he would find a woman who he was naturally drawn to and relaxed in her presence.
“Thompson shares many interests of mine,” Robert began. “I have found her to be amiable, intelligent, and thoughtful. I do not think that anyone can fault me for acknowledging a woman’s characteristics, now can you?”
His father continued to glare at him, and Jane’s fiery rage had morphed into an icy stillness.
“And yes, I find her quite easy on the eyes. I think anyone would be a fool if they did not think her handsome.”
“I cannot believe this,” his father replied. “You are the son of a duke, and you’re having a romantic relationship with a servant? It is preposterous!” His father continued to stare at him. “Your mother and I raised you better. Why did you even put yourself in that situation? How could you have ever entertained the idea?”
“Father, nothing happened,” Robert said once more, emphasizing each word. “She has done nothing wrong.”
“Silence,” his father spat, rubbing his chin with his hand, his gaze on the floor. “You will not say another word about this. Do you hear me? You will not speak about this again to anyone else.” He looked at Jane and Agnes. “Both of you must remain quiet as well. We cannot allow this to leave this house, or the family will be the subject of much gossip.”
The duke looked at Robert sternly. “How could you be so selfish? Your actions could have impact on all of us. Do you understand what an embarrassment this is to your mother and me? Not to mention all three of your sisters, none of whom are married.”
Jane made a sniffing sound of agreement.
“All because you could not keep your own thoughts and feelings to yourself? You shame us, Robert.”
Robert’s insides burned with frustration. Was no one listening to him? It was as if he had been speaking to a wall.
Another part of himself agreed with his father. Yes, shame on me for ever allowing myself to be in this situation.
“She should be punished too, father,” Jane said. “I do not believe that Robert started it. He simply wishes to protect her.”
“Of course I want to protect her!” Robert retorted. “It is because of me that any of this happened. If I had not been so foolish…”
“That is a great understatement,” Jane replied, her eyes narrow slits.
“What has disturbed you so greatly that you have resorted to childish tattling?” Robert said to her, taking a step toward her. They were very close now; he could feel her angry breath on his cheeks. “What have I done to wrong you so much that you choose to bring this sort of pain upon me?”
“You brought it upon yourself, brother. I simply wanted you to see the error of your ways before someone else did. I have done you a great favor.”
“You could have brought this to me privately and not dragged Father into it!”
“On the contrary, she has done the right thing. Now we can prevent this sort of nonsense from leaving this house and filling the countryside! Hopefully the other servants at Bridgewater are not privy to your interactions.”
“Thank you, Father,” Jane replied.
If he had been a bear, he would have snarled at her. He turned from her and began to pace the room, anything to keep himself from looking at her.
“I will not have a rumor circulating that my son is having a romantic relationship with a maid. I won’t! This ends now. Something must be done. Agnes, I am truly sorry that my son has disgraced your household as he has.”
Robert grimaced as his father spoke.
The duke continued with a stern expression on his face. “Something will have to be done to relocate your lady’s maid. I am disappointed that you would have brought such a woman with you to your home where she could cause such strife.”
Agnes appeared startled that she was being addressed. Her face paled, and she bowed. “Yes, Duke. My deepest apologies. I will see to it right away.”
“Good.” He turned his attention to Robert, who by now was clenching his fists to keep them from trembling.
“Now, you will not return to your brother’s house, not until that maid is gone. I will not have you put yourself into another situation in which you cannot control yourself.” He sighed, and shook his head. “Shame on you, Robert. I am still amazed that you would ever be tempted by such an idea.”
Robert swallowed hard.
“I must inform your mother about this,” his father said, glaring at his children. “Nothing more is to be said of this. Ever. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”
“Yes,” both Robert and Jane replied.
Without another look, he swept past Agnes and disappeared down the hall.
Jane looked at Robert, her gaze still icy.
“I did it for your own good, Robert,” she said, and she, too, disappeared from the room.
Robert stood alone in the room, and Agnes stood just outside.
For a moment, they looked at one another. Robert was hurt to see the sadness on her face. Not only had he ruined Alice’s life, but he had also caused Agnes to lose one of her dearest friends. He felt the weight of the consequences of his actions settle squarely over his shoulders.
He could not read Agnes’s expression, but he assumed that she too was mad at him. Her face was blank, and yet, she did not look away.
“Agnes, I…” he began. He sighed, unable to truly look her in the eye. “This is my fault. Please know that Thompson did nothing wrong. I am truly sorry for all the trouble I have caused.”
Agnes continued to watch him, but her gaze softened.
“I am sorry too,” she replied, “that things could not be different.” She looked down sadly. “I had never seen her quite so happy as when she spoke of you, Robert.”
And without anything left to say, Agnes left the room.
Robert collapsed into a chair near the window, unsure if he should be angry or distraught. Everything happened so quickly, and Robert felt as if he were supposed to be two different people. One person was entirely obedient, and would never have entertained thoughts of a maid, realizing how preposterous to cross the upstairs-downstairs divide. The other person was real, and wanted love, and felt as if he had found it, only to be have it snatched away because everyone else told him that it was wrong.
He couldn’t let it end like this. He would take all the blame for what happened to her next, but he would not allow her to leave without knowing his heart. He at least owed her that much.
The duke had forbidden Robert to see Alice again, but that didn’t matter. He would allow himself one last time to look upon her. He would explain what had happened, apologize to her, and attempt to at least remedy her respect.
Leaving to find Alice immediately would have been a mistake. If he left, he knew his father would immediately come after him. No, he would have to wait at least a day to allow everyone to calm own. Perhaps by then he would actually be able to face her without losing his mind.
He hoped that his brother would not be
angry with him. After everything that he had gone through with his own wife, perhaps he would be able to understand. There was no denying that he had been acting selfishly, but it was more than that.
If he had to leave her behind, he would. The heart mends with time. What upset him the most was that his actions could not be seen as innocent, even as they were, and he was condemned for something that had never occurred. He should have been frustrated with Alice for speaking to Agnes about their interactions, but he wasn’t. He was frustrated that Jane eavesdropped and created such conflict with her accusations.
Robert sighed. He wanted to blame Jane, but it wasn’t her fault either. More and more, he punished himself, sitting alone in the slowly darkening room, feeling as if he created a problem that was easily avoided.
Was love worth it, even a true love that perhaps would only ever occur once in his lifetime? Was chasing after something that he found attractive in mind and spirit worthwhile?
What was right, and what was wrong? He wrestled with his own beliefs and what society told him, finding that many things did not add up as he would have liked. None of it sat well with him, and by the time he retired to his own room, he felt even worse than when he his father and sister had left.
He may have gone about everything the wrong way, but his feelings were not wrong. Love should not be limited to class, he realized. Nothing was unholy about a man and a woman who both loved the Lord loving one another. So why was society so swift to correct them? How could his family be so fast to do the same?
6
All Things Work Together
It was, in fact, less than twenty-four hours before Robert returned to his brother’s manor. He had been driving himself mad sitting at home, attempting to conceal his motives from his family, attempting to behave as normally as he could. His mind would not allow him to rest, and with no sleep and in desperation, he left as early as the dawn the following morning.
John greeted Robert, and after explaining that he had heard everything that had happened from Agnes, barred him from entering.
