“I own a bar.”
“That’s great. You don’t stray far from the path, once you’re on it. Well, at least with this.” That hurts. She’s looking out into the fenced backyard, where the kids are playing with the rabbits.
I’ll take that little jab from her. I didn’t live up to my promises in the past, particularly to her. “I stuck to what I was good at, beer and a good time.”
“I remember. I knew you were headed somewhere in life. Boy, you could put a shine on a countertop.” She nods, smiling, and I smile with her for the first time since she arrived. It’s tight and tense, but it’s a start.
Shoot, I’m happy she’s here, that she didn’t flat-out refuse to do this project. She’s nervous, though. She’s been here for an hour. Most of that time she’s spent with her arms folded across her chest. But I think the more she gets to talk while watching the boys, the easier it’s getting. Great for me, because I know she’s not averse to being near me, alone. There’s hope for us to get to know each other again. Maybe I can be as bold as to think we can even be friends.
“What’s it called? I didn’t see a sign.” She draws me out of my hopeful thoughts.
I pull a printed napkin out of my pocket and hand it to her. I watch her unfold it, nodding her head, because I know she gets it. She remembers. She’s the only one that would.
“The Office.” She runs her finger across the plain black text. “I like it—good name. You always said that would be a good name for a bar.”
“I thought it was. Still is.”
“When a husband tells his wife he’ll be at the office, he’s not lying. He is actually at The Office.”
“Exactly.”
“At the office.” She looks straight at me for the first time, shaking her head, and smiles. A genuine, relaxed smile.
“Exactly how I remember it.”
“What?” Uncertainty flickers across her face.
“Your smile, the light in your eyes. I used to live for that. To make that happen,” I reply, honest and open.
“Landon, no.” She looks alarmed.
“Yes. I used to love hearing and seeing you laugh. When I left, I know the laughter stopped.”
“Landon,” she shakes her head, “the laughter stopped long before you were gone.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, lifting my hand to touch her, but I don’t. I have no right. She sees the moment anyway, looking at my hand with pained eyes.
“Stop.” She shifts her weight to one side, subtly turning away from me.
The last thing I want to ever see again is her shrinking away from my touch. Goddamn it, it killed me every time. It still makes me angry, the way she was ripped away from me. It feels like I’ve spent forever with regrets: regretting the way we ended, the way I ended us. I wasn’t strong enough for us.
“Hurting you, Lacey...I should have stayed.”
“I don’t need an apology, Landon. I understand now why you left. I knew why, but it still took time to accept. But I understood. You’re not to blame, and I’m not to blame; it just is. Time didn’t stop for either one of us, and look at us now. We are where we’re supposed to be.” She presses her bottom lip between her teeth, reminding me of the younger version of her, of how innocent she truly was.
“Are we?”
“Let’s not. Jacob and I should go. It’s getting late.” She turns away to call Jacob, but I need to say this to her.
Risking her scorn, I take a chance. I know I shouldn’t, but I need to. I gently place my hand over hers, by her side. One touch is all it takes for my heart to trip over itself with the familiar-but-now-foreign contact, only made so by time. I know she feels it, too.
She doesn’t have to look at me. We don’t need words. Never did. I know. I slowly place our hands together, locking them in a gentle hold. Perfect fit, as always.
“Lacey, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I need to say it. It’s a cosmic joke that our sons would end up as the best of friends. It’s almost fucking cruel. However cruel, I’m glad it happened. I thought I would never see you again. From the moment I walked out your door, I regretted leaving you. I’ve never forgotten that day. Never. It’s cataloged in my mind. I left both of you.” My eyes look over to where Jackson and Jacob are playing. The stab of regret and pain resides deep within me.
“This is not necessary, Landon,” she says, but is still holding on to my hand.
“It is to me.” I bring her closer, slowly, making sure I can feel if there’s any tension in her body. I need to know if my touch—that is almost too intimate, given our history—is okay with her. I want her to know if she needs to move away she can, without fearing my reaction. “Look at me, Lacey. I won’t hurt you. I would never.” She looks at me, the muscles in her delicate throat working up and down. I wait for a beat of time to pass before I continue. She’s still got remnants of the gentle, almost shy, girl I fell in love with a lifetime ago.
With no thought, just a natural reflex, I stroke my other hand across her cheek, and she responds in the way only she could to me. She raises her head, and it’s not just a look we share. We click. Her lips part slightly with an exhale of breath. I’m enchanted with the warmth of her skin under my rough fingertip, her soft skin, and our bodies so close.
The crash of a garbage can breaks the spell. We jerk apart. She backs up five steps, eyes wide, hand on her chest.
Damn.
“Mom, we’re okay. Jackson hit the can. It was an accident.”
“It’s all right. As long as you’re both fine,” she calls back to him.
Jackson is looking at me. I give him a smile, but he doesn’t react. He turns around and fixes the can back in place. Hmm, wonder what that’s about. I’ll ask him later. I need to deal with Lacey before she dashes out of here. “Lace—”
A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. “You called me that when you wanted me to pay attention to you.”
Funny how I never noticed. I continue. “Our sons are attached at the hips. We are going to be in each other’s lives, whether we want to or not. I need to know is, am I making you uncomfortable? I don’t want to do that.”
“You’re not. It really threw me when we ran into each other at the school. It was a head-on collision, seeing you standing there with a son the same age as Jacob. Can we do this for them?”
“I think we can, for them. I think it would be good for them, this friendship they’ve found. I think Jackson needs a friend like Jacob in his life now. He’s the only real friend I’ve seen him this interested in making.”
“Same with Jacob. He hasn’t had an easy time of making friends. The transition from home to school last year wasn’t good. I was so happy when he came home talking nonstop about his new friend. You don’t know how happy I am he’s found someone, so he doesn’t feel like he’s all alone. I know how that feels.”
“No one should feel that way. Especially not a kid,” I agree.
“It sucks. Especially when it’s your kid, and you’re helpless to do anything about it.” She turns and looks out at them once more. She smiles and laughs at something they’re doing. I hear the boys laughing, too. Just standing here, I can see how much she loves Jacob. I can tell even more when the smile doesn’t leave when she looks at me and says, “The day after tomorrow good for you? I’m off on Saturdays until my mom comes back.”
“It’s great. Around one?”
“See you then.”
She walks to the back yard, scooping up the rabbit and dropping him into the cage, and calls Jacob over to leave. He jumps off the jungle gym I set up for Jackson so he wouldn’t be bored or cooped up inside my office when he’s here with me. There is a separate little playroom I made for him, too. Hey, kids need choices. Couldn’t have him running around in a bar. That’s a problem waiting to happen.
They come back in, and I turn at the sound of my name being called.
“Landon, got a sec? Who signed off on the last shipment?” Trigg walks in as he always does, without knocking, looking at the paper in h
is hand, and stops mid-step when he notices I’m not alone.
“Hey, Trigg,” Lacey says, smiling. I’m kind of jealous at how easily she did that for him. “It’s been a long time.”
“The longest. Lacey McQueen. It’s freaking good to see you.” He smiles, brushing back his signature long, blond hair. True Trigg style, he drops the papers on my desk and pulls her in for a hug, lifting her off her feet before putting her down. “How the hell have you been, girl?”
She giggles. “Good to see you haven’t changed much. Still warm and welcoming.”
“Why would I ever change perfection?”
She looks at me, and I shake my head. She’s right; he hasn’t changed much. That’s both good and bad. The changes he has made though are all for the better. There used to be a time when all he did was sex, get high, party, drink, repeat. All in that order. A different girl every week. Except when he met Shay. For some reason, she was different. For a while, she was the one who kept bouncing back, like a rubber ball against a brick wall. Until that one time, and it hit him hard in the chest.
“Trigg, this is my pride and joy.” She places her hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “My son, Jacob.”
Without missing a beat, he holds out his hand to him. “It’s nice to meet you, Jacob. I’m Trigg, an old friend of your mother’s.”
“Hi, Trigg. You’re tall. Like a tree.” He cranes his head up at him.
“Comes in handy for reaching things way up high.” He smiles. “I hear a lot of good things about you from Jackson.”
“You have?”
“Sure. Jackson’s my godson. We hang out from time to time, playing basketball, video games, and stuff with his dad. Hey, maybe sometime you can come hang out with us, if it’s okay with your mom?”
“Yes! Oh. Please Mom, can I?”
“I don’t know…”
“Aw, Mom. You always say no.” He pouts.
“Jacob—” she chides
“Okay, not always, but let’s think about this, before you say no.” His eyes plead with her to agree with him. It makes me want to join in with him, for her to let him have his way.
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”
“Yes!” He raises his fist in a half-won victory. “Mr. Trigg, she didn’t say no.”
We all laugh at his youthful exuberance.
“Where’s my invite to the party?” Bree strolls in, smiling.
A party going down the crapper fast. Oh, man. I was going to tell her who Jacob’s mother was tonight. After Jackson was asleep, in case things didn’t go well. Okay, I know she’s not going to take it well.
“Hey, Bree,” Trigg says, upbeat, like this isn’t a train wreck happening right in front of him.
“Hey, guys. What’s up? Why didn’t anyone tell me the party was in here? You know I love a party.” She looks down at Jacob, her smile growing. “You must be the young man my son can’t stop talking about. Jacob?”
“Yep. That’s me,” he says, returning Bree’s smile.
“I won’t bother with the handshake nonsense. Come over here and give me a hug, if that’s okay with you?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He walks into her arms. “You’re pretty.”
Bree laughs and gives him a squeeze before letting him go. “We need to keep you around all the time.” She looks at Lacey, reaching out her hand to her. “I love him. You must be Jacob’s mother? I’m Bree. It’s nice to finally meet the mother of the child my son is totally enamored with.”
I see the hesitation on Lacey’s face before she takes Bree’s hand with a weak smile. “Nice to meet you too, Bree. I wish we could stay, but we were headed out. We have a lot to do.”
“I understand, being a busy working mom myself. Don’t let me hold you up. Maybe next time we can hang out, get to know each other? Set up a playdate with the boys when I’m not working so much.”
The room falls into an awkward silence, Bree looking expectantly at Lacey, oblivious to her discomfort at her offer, Trigg glaring at me like I’m an idiot. The idiot he told to tell Bree about Lacey.
“Ah, we’ll see. Excuse us. Come on, Jacob.” She takes the cage and ushers Jacob out, holding his hand with a nervous smile.
“Hold up, Lacey. I’ll walk you out,” Trigg says, following her.
“Okay,” Bree says, still smiling, forehead creasing. She murmurs, “She seemed nice. But was it me, or did she get a bit weird when I said we should hang out?”
“I think you caught her off guard.” I sit on the edge of my desk with my arms folded, trying to work out how to tell Bree what really happened there.
“I guess. Not everyone can be as cheery as me. She seems nice though. If she can handle hanging out with you for an hour, surely I’ll make the cut. It’s inevitable. Our sons are besties.”
“Hmmhmm.” I nod, head down.
“Where’s Jackson?” She walks past me to the door leading to the backyard.
“Playing with the rabbit.” I look over my shoulder and see her smiling when Jackson stops chasing the rabbit and waves to her. That smile is about to turn upside down when she finds out who Jacksons mother is. “Bree.”
“Yeah?” She turns around, brushing back her hair.
“That was Lacey. Jacob’s mom is Lacey.” I hold my hand over my heart, tapping my ink, watching the slow realization dawn. The smile slides off her face, quickly replaced by a building anger. I walk over and close the door behind her so Jackson won’t hear. He has enough to deal with without listening to his parents have an argument over his best friend’s mother.
“Jacob’s mom is the Lacey? Why did you pretend you just met her?” She turns on me.
“I didn’t.”
“You did when you didn’t say you knew her.”
“I knew how you were going to react. Things with us haven’t been the greatest. We talked the other day, and now we’re in a better place for you to hear who she is.”
“Bullshit, Landon.” She jabs her finger at me. “I walked into a room where everyone knows what’s going on except for me. I’m rambling on about becoming great friends with the woman whose name is tattooed across your chest. There was no escaping that fucking name,” she says between painfully clenched teeth.
“Bree, you’re getting loud and overly melodramatic. Calm down before Jackson hears you.” I step into her space, trying to calm her. “He doesn’t need to listen to us arguing, making our separation harder on him.”
She puts her hand over her mouth blowing out a silent breath. “That’s the famous, unforgettable Lacey. The one that got away. The one I couldn’t make you forget. God, it was always a triad. It was like she was in our bed with us every night. She was the third in our relationship.”
Can’t lie about that.
When I don’t deny it, she shakes her head, wrapping her arms around herself and turning away from me, trying to hide the hurt I know she must feel.
No matter what I did, I couldn’t forget Lace. But I tried, for so many years. For Bree, and our marriage, and for Jackson. Lacey, the girl I once knew, is ingrained in my soul, infused so deep there is no use in even trying to extract her. There is no use in trying to explain it to Bree. I never could. It’s something so great it goes beyond explanation. That’s been the hard part for me, explaining my relationship with Lacey to Bree.
“I asked you numerous times to remove that name. I remember you adamantly refused. Wouldn’t even think about it, even after I had Jackson.”
“I didn’t see the point, at the time. I had other tattoos you didn’t demand I remove. Your request came two days out of the hospital after you had our son. You were running on an erratic, emotional high.”
Her eyes open wide, dilating. “Erratic. Emotional high.” She forces the words out of her mouth, rejecting my evaluation of that time like a bitter taste on her tongue.
I know this is not going to get better. “You know what I mean.”
“Those other tattoos, Landon, aren’t names of women you’ve been with, etched into your skin. They a
ren’t the name of the woman who seems to have fucked you into Nirvana for the rest of your life.” She slaps her hand exactly where Lacey’s name is written under my shirt. The force of her anger sends me jerking back. “It’s hard enough trying to get yourself back after having a baby,” she says, her voice wavering. “Then I have to look at another woman’s name on the man I love, one you refuse to talk about, who meant a hell of a lot more to you than I did.”
“Bree.” I try to put my hand over hers to hold her together. She snatches her hand away from my chest as if her hand is scorched.
“I was hormonal, I’ll agree.” She sniffles, wiping at her nose and eyes. “I’d just given birth to our child. But you need to admit that no matter what I said, you would and will never get rid of that.” She looks at my chest, her long lashes batting against her tears, her voice jerky. “She’s the one that got away, for whatever reason, and I was the second choice by default, because your love for our son was enough to marry me, to try and make a family. But I wasn’t your number one choice. After Lacey and Jackson, I was third, at best.”
What the fuck could I say to that?
She’s right.
It’s good seeing you Lacey,” Trigg says, leaning on the driver’s side of my Jeep.
“You too.” I look back at Jacob with his headphones on, playing with his tablet. None of my business, but I’ll throw it out and see what he says. It’s been so many years, and after that night, he disappeared. If Landon and I can come face-to-face without the earth cracking, who knows?
“Aren’t you going to ask me about her?”
“Who?” He looks at me with that easy Trigg smile, a mop of dirty blond hair falling into his face, pretending he doesn’t know who she is. I can see why my sister fell for him now. Underneath all that grunge was a rough diamond, of sorts. He had that sexy dirty thing going for him back then, too.
“Should I ask?” He looks at me, one golden-brown brow arched.
“Not if you don’t want to. It’s cool, none of my business.” I shrug and leave it at that. What else would I say?
“See, that’s why I always liked you, Lacey.” He pushes off the side of my Jeep. “Let’s let sleeping dogs lie, because some things are best left in the past.”
Cry For You_A Second Chance Romance Page 6
