by Zoe Winters
“Hi,” Rhonda said, her gaze still on the contents of the refrigerator.
The blonde wolf finally chose an unidentifiable bag of snack food and started to leave the kitchen. She gave Jane one slow look up and down, then took a long whiff. “Well, I don’t smell him on you,” she said, her voice flat of emotion.
“Excuse me?”
“He hasn’t fucked you yet. The second he does, you are out of here. He’ll use you just like he used me. Screwed me, then tossed me out of bed the next morning. So much for the afterglow. Cole is a confirmed bachelor. He’ll never settle down, and the second you give it up to him you’re out on the street, girlfriend. Back with your vampires where you belong.”
Jane drew back, Rhonda’s words as sharp as a slap to her face. “Whatever happened with you two isn’t my fault.”
“Hey, I’m just trying to help you, sweetie. You seem to have a habit of walking into the most fucked-up relationships you can’t handle. You aren’t vampire enough for the vampires and you aren’t wolf enough for Cole. So get that out of your head right now.”
Rhonda gave her one last sneer before turning on her heel and leaving. Jane had lost her appetite. When she returned to the main den, Cole was gone again.
“Where did Cole go?”
Blake looked up from the card table. “He had to take care of something. He’ll be back soon.”
“We’re going to put a movie in,” Mara said. “You should watch with us.” The female wolf patted a spot on the couch between her and another girl named Lucy. Lucy was sixteen and just coming into her wolfiness. She had remarkable control of herself. Cole had said she was alpha female material, and some day she’d have to leave the pack to find a place more suited to her power.
It had weighed on Jane’s mind considerably. Sure, Lucy was a bit young. Cole was old enough to be her father and then some. Still, the fact remained that if Cole were younger, Lucy would be a prime candidate to be his mate.
He needed someone strong, someone who was commanding and powerful. Not a human with vampire blood running through her veins. It might be different if she’d inherited some physical strength, instead of just a higher pain threshold and borderline freaky psychic senses.
She settled between the girls as they started a movie and passed the popcorn.
“The Wolf Man?” Mara said with a groan. “Jane’s going to think awful things about us.”
Lucy laughed hysterically and winked.
***
After his discovery in the woods, Cole had wanted to get Jane alone, wanted to touch her, to be sure she was real and alive. But he’d stepped back into the shadows when he’d realized she wasn’t alone in the kitchen. He was livid over the way Rhonda had spoken to her.
The moment the wolf was in the hallway, he’d clamped one hand over her mouth so she couldn’t scream and wrapped the other tight around her arm, jerking her through the interwoven caves and outside into the sunshine. He knew he was hurting her, and he didn’t very much care.
He finally let go of her and growled. “What the hell was that back there?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged, her eyes averted from his. Whether it was an act of submission or to cover deceit, he couldn’t be sure.
“You will NOT speak to her that way. She’s a part of this pack now.”
Rhonda’s lip curled in a snarl, “She’s human! You can’t possibly think a human can live with wolves. She’s weak.”
“Says the pack omega.” It was a cheap shot, but Rhonda deserved it for that display in there. He considered banishing her from the pack. Between her jealousy and Ed’s murderous rampage, he needed them both gone if Jane was going to be able to run free. He couldn’t keep her locked up forever.
A tear slipped down the blonde wolf’s cheek. “You want to make her your mate? You can’t do that. You have to think of the pack. You wouldn’t take me because I’m so weak. You think you can take a human? You think they’ll answer to her as the alpha female? What happened to the way you felt about me? You were going to marry me. If you hadn’t taken over the pack, we could be together now.”
“Rhonda, we were pups. It’s true, an alpha needs a strong mate, but there are different kinds of strength. You’re like a sister to me.”
Her expression turned hard. “Don’t give me that, like a sister bullshit again. You slept with me, and I was there too, Cole. There was something between us. You felt it. You had to have felt it.”
It was true, he’d been incredibly turned on when he’d taken Rhonda to bed. But he also hadn’t been laid in six months, he’d just lost a member of the pack, and he’d had a moment of weakness. She’d said no strings, and he hadn’t realized that her no strings really meant fuck me, then never let me go.
He’d lost himself in her for a few hours, and he’d felt awful afterward. But he’d never been able to verbalize these feelings to her and thought it best not to start now. He didn’t want to hurt her, but her psychological battle with Jane had to end.
“You know the circumstances that led up to that. I told you I was sorry.”
Rhonda wiped the tears with the back of her hand and stalked off toward the woods.
“Leave Jane alone.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Chapter Ten
The Wolf Man had scared Jane as a child because the image on the screen had reminded her of the real monster she’d encountered. The movie seemed ridiculous now, even with the flashback. The lights had been turned out, leaving the cave in darkness.
Every few seconds a tear crept down her cheek, and she wiped it away. She wondered if the wolves beside her would smell the salt of her tears and know it wasn’t the popcorn. She didn’t have to wonder for long. Mara leaned toward her.
“Are you okay?” She whispered.
“No,” Jane whispered back.
The wolf grabbed her hand and led her out of the room back toward the kitchen, no doubt able to see perfectly well in the dark.
Jane sat at the large kitchen table while Mara fixed them ice cream sundaes.
She grimaced. “My metabolism isn’t as fast as yours.” Sure, she used to consider sugar a separate and necessary food group, but now she cared if she got fat.
Mara ignored her protest and set the ice cream in front of her. “Okay, so spill it. Did Cole do something? Men can be such morons.”
Jane forced a weak smile. “Did he say anything to you about my past?”
“He said you hated vampires and that you’d been through a lot, but he didn’t give details. The pack thought you could be dangerous because they could smell vampire on you. Cole needed to reassure everyone you’re on our side.”
Jane nodded. She didn’t know if she’d put it that boldly. Jane was on Jane’s side. It was the only way she’d known to live. Just survive, appease, hope they don’t kill you.
She looked up to find Mara staring at her, curious.
“So what gives?”
Jane shrugged and took a careful bite of the sundae. “Rhonda said something that made me think Cole said something about me and the vampires. But if that’s all he told you, he wouldn’t tell her more, would he?”
“Oh, hell no. It’s been odd between him and Rhonda for about three months now. They were real close for awhile, and then it got weird. She came into the main den one day smelling like him. Then they weren’t close anymore.”
Rhonda must have smelled Paul on her when she’d first come to the hive and made assumptions.
Cole stepped into the kitchen then. He moved to stand between the two girls surveying the scene, his arms crossed over his chest. “Is everything okay?” His expression was closed.
“We’re fine,” Mara said.
“Jane?”
“I’m fine.”
He looked doubtful but let it go. “Jane, will you come with me back to my den?”
Her stomach did that thing it did every time Cole said anything that she could remotely interpret as a sexual come-on.
“Sure.
”
She followed him quickly from the room, hoping Mara hadn’t smelled her reaction. She didn’t want the entire pack to know she had the hots for Cole. Though it was probably too late for that concern. Their sense of smell and ability to read emotions was uncanny.
When they were inside the den, he led her to the couch and gestured for her to sit.
“There are some things I’ve wanted to say to you for awhile now.”
“Oh?” Jane’s tongue darted out to wet her lips. Could she even have a coherent conversation with him right now? She struggled to keep her eyes on his face and away from more interesting regions.
“I no longer have any doubts. I know you’re my mate.”
The blunt announcement was like a physical blow. She felt herself pulled in separate directions. In one direction she was doing back flips, floating. In the other, she was curling in on herself, waiting for another sentence to start.
She’d spent years dreaming of a nice, normal relationship with a human male and forgetting all about the world of monsters. But a human had never been in her cards. When Rich had been killed, she’d vowed to stay away from her kind to avoid endangering any more of them. Still, it was difficult to close that chapter, to know the normal, safe life that would wake her from this nightmare was nowhere in her future.
“Well, say something.”
Cole was looking at her anxiously, as if he’d dropped down on one knee and proposed. In a sense maybe he had. Though she wasn’t sure it was a proposal, so much as a statement. If he genuinely believed she was his, whatever did or didn’t happen between them physically, she wasn’t going anywhere.
He took her hands in his, and she felt the electric current pass between them. When she looked into his eyes, they were expectant.
“I know.”
***
Normally humans lived in denial about their feelings, hiding behind masks far more effective than those of shapeshifters. But she felt it. He wondered how much vampire blood her mother drank during her pregnancy. Whatever the amount, it had been enough to link Jane to him, however remotely.
If he hadn’t seen her walk in the sunlight himself, he’d think her father was a vampire. But she would have been killed at birth and wouldn’t have been able to bear sunlight in any event.
He wanted to take her, mark her as his mate, and bring her fully into the pack. But that would require sex, and he was constantly aware of her history.
This moment was crucial; he could feel her hesitance, her anxiety. One misstep and he could push her away and lose her forever. “And how do you feel about that?” Try to sound less like a therapist, Cole.
Her face was guarded. “How do you feel about it? I’m not a wolf.”
He growled. “Forget what Rhonda said.”
“You heard?”
“Yes.”
She looked down at their interlocked hands. “But I’m not a wolf. I can’t be what a wolf could be for you. I can’t share all the same experiences. I only have human strength. I’m not a leader.”
“Nevertheless, you are my mate. A true mate. I could choose to mark another wolf, but I would be empty. You don’t know how hard it’s been to not take what my instincts say is mine.” He heard her heart rate pick up, not from arousal, but from panic.
He pulled her back into his arms and stroked his fingers through her hair, conscious of his canines elongating, begging him to just mark her. Screw consent. “Talk to me. What’s going through your head right now?”
“Could you turn me? Make me like you?”
“Therian breeds are born, not made.”
She nodded and bit her lip, falling silent for a few moments as if weighing her next words. “What does all this mean? For me? If I didn’t want to be your mate would you let me go?”
His grip tightened on her, and he had to fight to loosen it and remember that although her pain tolerance was higher, she was still fragile compared to him. He didn’t want her more frightened. He kept his voice even, his words measured. “You don’t want to be my mate?”
“I didn’t say that. I just need to know.”
“It’s safe for you here with the pack.”
“As long as whoever is hunting the humans doesn’t eat me,” she said under her breath, but not quietly enough that he didn’t hear.
“I’ve watched them all when they’re around you. I believe it’s Ed, but I’ll have to catch him in the act. The rest of the pack for the most part has accepted you as family.” He couldn’t tell her what he’d found in the woods; there was no sense panicking her. It was his burden to bear.
“Do they know?”
“It’s not been stated aloud, but I think they sense the shift and the energy between you and me.”
“You haven’t answered my question,” she said. “What would happen if I didn’t want this?”
He wanted to growl at her. The wolf in him screamed to throw her down on the ground, dominate her, mark her for daring to question that her rightful place was by his side. But the man in him held the wolf in control. He refused to be just another monster in her life throwing his weight around.
It took every ounce of strength he possessed to say, “If you chose not to become my mate, you would live in one of the other dens here. You’d have your own space, and you’d be safe. Once I catch Ed and make certain you’re safe with everyone else.”
“But you wouldn’t let me go. I’d still be a prisoner. Don’t want to let go of your ten-thousand-dollar investment?”
He knew she was taunting him, pushing to see if she could make him angry. No, that wasn’t right. She was pushing to find out what would happen when he was angry. The full moon was fast approaching, and now wasn’t the time for her to be pushing buttons just to find out what they’d do. He took a few slow breaths, fighting against the primal urges that raged within him.
“You are not here because of Paul’s debt, and you know that. Whether I realized it at the time or not, I took you because you belonged with me. You are not a prisoner here. This is your home. As soon as it’s safe, you’ll have the key codes and free run of the place like everyone else. But you’re my responsibility to keep safe now.
“I can’t let you walk out that door and go wherever you would go, knowing at any moment something dangerous could snag you, that you could end up back with the vampires. You can’t possibly understand what it feels like to be a wolf, have found your mate, and then lose her like that. I won’t force you to be intimate with me. I won’t make you accept the mark. But you’re asking for more than I can give here, and I think you know that.”
He waited as she processed that information, as her heart started the slow trip back to normal.
“Okay.”
“Okay what? Okay you’ll be my mate or okay you’ll live in one of the other dens when I’ve made sure things are safe?”
***
Jane looked into his eyes as his hand moved to caress the side of her throat. She felt self-conscious when his fingers trailed over the bite marks Paul had left. In all her time with vampires, she’d never been with one who’d left visible marks.
The others had always healed their bites because they didn’t want her skin marred. Paul had been different. He’d wanted Jane to look like a big vamp tramp billboard. And he was the monster whose arms she’d walked right into.
Voluntarily.
Now she’d never be rid of the physical scars. She’d never be able to look in the mirror and pretend none of it had ever happened. A tear rolled down her cheek.
Cole’s thumb moved to smooth it away. “Shhhh. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want. Why are you crying?”
“It’s not you. It’s this.” She pointed at the ugly scar on her throat. “How will you be able to stand being mated to me when I’ve been marked up by a vampire like this?”
“That isn’t your fault.”
“That’s not what I asked. The vampires are your enemies, and you’ve got a visual reminder that more than one of them got there f
irst.”
Cole bent his head to her neck and kissed over the mark. His tongue darted out to gently trace the scar. He murmured against her skin, “That. Isn’t. Your. Fault.”
Jane wasn’t finished. She didn’t know where it had come from, but she couldn’t stand the thought of almost having something good, only to have it ripped from her again. She pulled out of his embrace and took her shirt off, tossing it to the floor.
His nostrils flared and his pupils dilated, but that wasn’t the point of the exercise. She removed the bra and shivered when she saw the feral gleam that lit his eyes
She closed the space between them, and suddenly his hands were everywhere. She whimpered softly at the contact then got control of herself, remembering her mission.
“Stop.”
She could tell it was a struggle, that he thought she was teasing him. But he removed his hands and fell back onto the couch, placing them on either side of his body, digging into the leather. He didn’t seem to care about the upholstery because his eyes didn’t stray from her.
She stepped closer. “What about this one, and this one, and this one?” She pointed to the various bite marks Paul had left on her. “Can you really stand to be with me, when I look like this?”
Before she could say anything else, before she could even think, he’d swept her up in his arms. She blinked and they were in the bedroom. He tossed her on the bed and removed his own shirt before joining her, his eyes intense and locked with hers.
“Yes,” his voice rumbled.
He proceeded to kiss each bite mark. “These are scars. They aren’t a vampire claim, and they aren’t a wolf’s mating mark,” he growled. “They are battle wounds. These are the marks that prove you’re strong, that you’ve been through fire and walked out safe on the other side.”
“They’re ugly. They make me ugly.”
“No, you can’t think that.” He flicked on the lamp. “Am I ugly?”
Jane hadn’t stopped to notice before, but Cole had a few scars of his own.
