by Amanda Milo
This time he angles so that one horn spears the pillow, but I’m ready so I launch a third right as I throw the fourth and it is this last one that catches him in the face. “Jerk!” I shriek.
I scream when Arokh’s huge, huge body is suddenly on top of me.
That Rakhii-grade lock the guys went on about before? It holds as Crispin and Dohrein pound against the door. Arokh’s breath is hot and his face is menacing when he breathes, “I have given up everything for you – and you don’t think that I want you.”
Uncomfortable, dark, thick, suffocating fear settles on my insides. I am actually afraid. Afraid of Arokh. I haven’t been this scared of him since that first night when he took me to his room after rescuing me. He sucks in a breath, and I see him flick his tongue like he does when he scents my mood.
“No,” he whispers, and I flinch when his hand is suddenly right there - but he only cradles my face. He shifts his knees, which are on either side of my hips, further caging me in. “Angie, no – I would never hurt you,” he vows, and he spears his fingers through my hair, wrapping his big palm around the back of my head and shoving my face into his neck.
I’m suddenly shaking, my body starting to relax under his even as my mind is still reeling, thinking, ‘I don’t really know this alien at all’.
“Shhh,” he soothes, and levers off of me, pulling me up with him to rock me in his lap, and it’s then that I realize I’m crying again, but silent tears this time. The kind that don’t hurt, they just leak out when you’ve been scared.
I try to shove against him but he is so, so strong – he just puts a hand between my shoulder blades and squishes me to his big, stupid chest. It's basically as if I offered no resistance to him at all. I grit my teeth and try to peel my upper body off of him, giving it all I’ve got this time. His voice is firm and serious when he says, “Stop. It.”
A voice raises above the pounding at the door. “He just gave her an order! To cease struggling!”
“You will die for this, Rakhii!” I think that is Dohrein. It doesn’t seem like something Crispin would threaten. But what do I know? Apparently, absolutely nothing about aliens. This one holding me is back to being sweet, a thumb rubbing circles on my skin, his body still rocking mine, soothing me.
Trying to.
Still squishing me to him.
A muffled, “Why isn’t this ship equipped with a key to this door?”
“Because it’s unthinkable that we wouldn’t also be on the other side?”
“Tevek!”
Arokh ignores them, and just keeps stroking me. He is still keeping me forcefully pressed to him though.
My mind is turning over the reactions of the other two whenever Arokh has given me an order. It makes me try something. “Arokh. Let me up. Right now.”
And I am stunned when slowly, haltingly…
...almost as if the action is against his will…
He does.
“Good. Now get out. Leave me alone.”
He suddenly looks alarmed. Which kind of freaks me out. “I cannot.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?” My voice is hard. Steadier now.
“I can’t. I cannot be separated from you. It will kill me.”
“Wow, how very dramatic for a guy that walked out on me after I threw myself at him.” I only sound a little bitter.
“I never meant to hurt you, Angie.” His voice is ragged. “And now you are feeling an extreme level of irrationality because of the reaction to wing marks without having been loved properly,” he says it like he’s reading a fact from a science book as he groans it into his palms.
I scoff.
He drops his hands, spreading them out wide. “I was trying not to hurt you. I thought…” He shakes his head, and his eyes meet mine then. Earnest. “You have shown me you are ready for breeding.”
“Ready for…? Are you kidding me right now?” I want to roll my eyes, but he’s looking at me so… oddly. I can’t place his expression.
Then my words seem to confuse him. “Khiddhing?” He shakes his head, the sheer span of his horns making the gesture even bigger, graver. “I hurt you. I am sorry.”
I feel shame bubbling in my stomach. “I wish you’d never touched me at all if you didn’t mean it. It’s like you just did it to …manage me.” Humiliated and hurt didn’t begin to cover it. I shook my head to clear it.
A muscle in his cheek jumped, and his fists kept balling and releasing, making me a bit uneasy about his mental state.
“You could not be more wrong.”
“Oh, really?” I threw my hand up and gestured to the bed.
“You said you weren’t mature!” he grated.
I sputtered. “What?”
“I thought you were too young – not too young to have these feelings,” he added quickly, “But earlier I thought you-“ He closes his eyes and starts again. “I was suddenly afraid that I had taken advantage of a young Gryfala’s natural urges.”
I didn’t know what to say. I guess that… made sense. And I was a bit stunned because, for my part, I had just assumed that he was mature - I’d never given a thought to the possibility that he was underage and maybe I shouldn’t be together with him. He would have made his own assumptions based on whatever he knew, and this all was like a big neon blinking sign; we were completely, literally alien to each other. Relationships just got a whole lot more complicated.
He seemed be waiting for me to acknowledge the wisdom of his sudden abstinence.
“Oh.”
He nodded. “You didn’t feel young. You didn’t act young. You didn’t smell young…” His pupils dilated so suddenly that I jerked back in reaction. He looked like he was on the verge-
“I wanted you.” He gave me a positively ravenous look. His mouth was firm and his jaw was hard. “I wanted you so fiercely – but I couldn’t betray you like that once I thought you were younger than I’d come to even believe.”
I abruptly felt like apologizing. If the situation was reversed, I’d have done the same. If I’d thought he was just a teenager – like I half suspected Crispin was – it wouldn’t matter how cute I thought he was, I wouldn’t cross that line. And if I’d found out after the fact? Yep, I’d back the fuck up, fast.
Arokh’s voice held a world of …something when he said meaningfully, “Not if you were too young.”
“Fine. It was admirable once you thought I was just a… fledgling. But. I wasn’t – I’m not.” I corrected.
“You still choose me.” He said it like he was ticking off a box of some sort.
But I was so done with this conversation for now. “Look. I think you’re onto something when you said I’m feeling really irrational – I really am. I need time to think it over so I can get over it because I’m still feeling mad at you.”
“But you want me.”
I huffed. Let him make what he would about my silence but I was trying to give a really good comeback, and was mentally running through them when I registered the change in his expression.
He looked downright predatory.
Distantly I heard, “-System Override is taking too teveking long!”
And the panicked reply: “You think I’m not giving this my best attempt? You know I dropped that Advanced Ship Operations course when my dam advised me the syllabus looked too taxing!”
I couldn’t focus on them though. Because I was frozen, locked in place by the intense look Arokh was giving me.
Until he stepped towards me.
Instinctively, I hopped backward.
My pulse skyrocketed when he took another step in my direction. Slowly. Purposefully.
And my heart skittered when I registered that Arokh was stalking me.
I was being hunted. By a giant, fire-breathing, behorned predator.
My poor body was all confused. My brain was pounding on the big red “PANIC - RUN STUPID!” signal, but my body… a thrilled flutter worked up my chest as a tingling rush zinged up my spine when he took another step forward.
Was I panting?
Hindbrain took over then; I pivoted and planned to dart around him and escape through the door. I think. I think that is exactly what I would have done.
Except that Arokh traced my movements with precision, and when I darted - he lunged.
I couldn’t help it; I shrieked. He grabbed me to him as I gave one of those ‘dying rabbit’ squeals that make the hair on the back of your neck lift and makes all the carnivores in the area slaver. I was just so worked up.
And then Arokh bit me!
Okay, it was a nip –his teeth closed over my neck and pressed down just enough to make my brain recircuit. I gasped and gripped his shoulders. Then he licked his bite, and heat flooded low in my belly.
He dropped to the edge of the bed, his hands moving, roughly dragging along the fabric of my dress. Then he reached the edge of my skirt. He yanked it up to my waist and my ass slammed against his thighs as he repositioned me so that I was straddling him.
Voice low, he rasped, “I haven’t just been protecting a Gryfala purely out of a sense of duty.” Slowly now, his hand came up and gently cradled the back of my head. “From the very first, I was – and I am – captivated by you.” His mouth came down on mine and he spent time licking and sucking my bottom lip until I opened for him. I was out of breath when he pulled away, but he had plenty of air to continue speaking, his expression solemn - his voice a low rasp. “I was yours the moment you fawned over my ceremonial blanket. I’ve made mistakes because I am ignorant about your kind, but I won’t give up trying, and there is nothing I want more than I want you. Do you still want me?”
What a big idiot.
“Yes! Yes, Arokh. I want you too,” I breathed and I reached up and wrapped a palm around his horn, yanking his head down so that I could reach his mouth.
He groaned, and then he moved his lips, kissing a trail over my cheek, down my neck, and he was sucking and licking at my collarbone now and I cried out when he bucked his hips up against me, right where I needed him, and I was tumbling to the bed and he was fumbling between our bodies at his fly--
The door burst open.
Dohrein took one look at my startled face staring at him from underneath 300lbs of horny male and he didn’t hesitate; he shot a blaster bolt into Arokh’s back.
“NO!” I screamed and clutched at Arokh’s shoulders. He writhed in agony on top of me. His weight was crushing one moment, then ripped off of me the next. Dohrein was there, gathering me into his arms. Crispin was beside himself. “Princess, I’m sorry! So sorry! We knew he was excited – we didn’t realize he’d actually attack you!”
“I wanted him to-“ I started to explain.
“I know you did, mshula.” Dohrein - yes, Dohrein! tenderly stroked my hair. “Do not let this experience frighten you. This is why Gryfala keep many hobs, and love times with a Rakhii guard are watched so that hobs can restrain him if one becomes too lust blind. They are beasts.”
Arokh moaned, the sound odd and vibrating, and sad, and reminding me of whale-watching and listening to songs through a hydrophone. “Put me down!” I demanded.
And he did.
Arokh’s body was still twitching as he lay on the floor. Liquid was collecting on the tiles where his spines were releasing it in angry pulses. Apparently as defense mechanisms went, they were well aware of how to deal with them because Crispin was deftly applying cuffs and a collar, avoiding Arokh’s danger areas.
“What are you doing!” I rushed forward and I think it was the panic in my voice that caused Arokh to thrash. His tail – deadly blades full out - almost connected with my cheek – and would have, if Dohrein hadn’t snatched me backward.
“Thanks,” I said shakily. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
“He is completely out of control.” He agreed, a dangerous edge to his voice.
“Hey, it wasn’t like he was trying to hurt me,” I said, furious.
His eyes narrowed and he gripped my chin. “Do not make excuses for him. The scent of your fear was burning our skin before we got the door open.”
And we were moving. My brain was still back in the room, trying to handle the switch from being rudely thrown from sexy times to scary time so I was slow to process what was happening.
“What-“
“You are safe here,” he assured brusquely. “I vow it.”
“Dohrein! W-!” Go go Gadget Employ the magic word: “No-!!“
But it was too late. I was locked in some kind of reinforced pod. I beat against the door, trying to feel for a handle or an invisible palm pad like the one Arokh knew how to locate in the shower – something, anything.
There were none.
And I stood alone, trapped.
Even when my voice finally fell hoarse, even over the sounds of my sobs, I could still hear Arokh’s enraged roars of pain.
◆◆◆
“She’s distressed.”
“Of course she’s distressed – that monster tried to- to-,”
“Look at these levels; she’s a mess. Her body has experienced everything from hunger to fatigue to multiple attacks in just a few days. Her system has been battered. These readings are frightening.”
“Well, perhaps they are innacurate. It isn’t as if you truly have a normal human baseline.”
“Do you question the accuracy?”
A weighted pause. Then: “No. And this looks just like shock. Remember that simulation we-”
I blinked until my vision wasn’t fuzzy, and I brought a hand up to brush the tear crusts from my eyes.
“She’s awake!”
Fingers carefully teased the hair tendrils from my face. “Princess?”
“Where is Arokh?”
Crispin’s mouth hardened into an angry line, an odd look for his mellow face. “He’s locked in cargo.”
“I’d have shoved him through the teveking airlock if it wasn’t for the example the Council will make of him when we arrive planetside,” muttered Dohrein.
“They’ll mete out punishment,” Crispin assured.
Dohrein scoffed. “Better than he deserves.”
“You have to let him go!” I tried to sit up, and a whirring sound buzzed as my back was forcefully raised up for me. I glanced over to see Crispin working the controls of the chair I was in. I was at the helm of the ship, in that small chair.
“We didn’t want you to wake back in that bed,” he explained.
I grabbed his arm and he froze. “You have to let Arokh go!”
Dohrein scowled. “Do you know what it took to get him there? Trust us, there is no better place for him on this ship.”
“Nothing that will hold him,” Crispin said with a wince.
“Oh my land, you have to let him out! Right now! You don’t understand-“
A blaring sound cut me off.
“Is he breaking out?” I asked hopefully.
Dohrein and Crispin dove for the viewing panel that was lighting up like slot machines at a casino.
“Tevek,” they breathed.
“What?” I saw a small blip, and a really, really big blip, blinking as space shrunk rapidly between them. “Are we about to crash into a planet?”
“That isn’t a planet. It’s another ship,” Dohrein bit out. He grabbed a joystick (probably not what it was really called, but I was an Atari-era kid) and began what I assumed, by the sudden jerk of my body against my seatbelt, was a defensive maneuver.
But then the ship just shuddered still.
“No, no, nooo…” Crispin whispered as he slammed keys – but never took his eyes off of the planet-sized-ship approaching us as we sat like ducks in the water. “We have to get her to the pod!”
“It’s too late,” Dohrein said and his voice wasn’t the rude, prickly tone I was used to.
It was gutted.
A hologram burst up, depicting one hell of an ugly motherfucking alien. Crispin typed faster. The hologram began to speak. “Block our visibility sensor all you want. Yo
u’re only confirming what we know: this is a hob ship. And you have precious cargo that you’re protecting.”
“Tevek, Tevek, Tevek…” Crispin cursed under his breath but he kept typing.
There was a ping.
“Oho! Congrats, you got a panic signal out.” His smile was cruel. “But we both know there are no other hob ships in the vicinity.”
The ship quaked.
“They’ve docked us,” Crispin whispered.
“You don’t think I know that?” Dohrein hissed.
“I was saying it for her benefit.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“No consequence.”
“Guys?” The both turned to me. I’m sure I must have looked as terrified as I felt. And I’m sure of this because even Dohrein’s tense expression softened. That is, right before it filled with the most terrifying look of regret.
“What are we gonna do?”
“WEAPON’S VAULT REMOTELY LOCKED,” the computer updated us so loudly – and almost cheerfully, that I jumped a little.
Crispin swallowed and Dohrein’s jaw worked as he moved his gaze to glare at the floor.
“It’s too late to send off the pod.”
“A Rakhii-”
“Cannot take on an entire shipful of pirates.”
“But he’s a gladiator.”
Dohrein’s head lifted and he looked at Crispin for a long moment.
When he said nothing, Crispin continued to plead his theory/plan. “Your dam designed that blaster gun to specifically subdue a Rakhii in lust, but it barely slowed this one down in rage-mode.”
He began holding up fingers to emphasize his points. “He snapped your mom’s prototype in half. The pirates aren’t going to have access to a weapon anything that advanced. There’s a chance he can do this!”
“But he doesn’t touch her,” he replied vehemently.
“Agreed.”
Not agreed – but I wasn’t going to waste time arguing with them.
Dohrein grimaced as he stood and that was when I noticed the bruises and bandages covering them both, making my stomach sink further.
Crispin held his arms out to me and instead of arguing about it, I just latched on to the adorably hot man-boy and we booked it towards the cargo bay.
