“You think?” I ask.
Austin lowers his mouth to my ear. When he speaks it comes out as a hiss. “Fuck yes.”
Then his hand is underneath my skirt, his fingers slipping into my underwear. “All I can think about is fucking you with my tongue while your pussy grinds down on my face.”
“Again?” I ask with a sharp intake of breath as his fingers work me.
“Every fucking day, Miss Honey.” He adds his thumb, rubbing hard, fast circles against my clit—the way he knows makes me get off.
“I could get used to that.” My breath starts to match his rhythm, though I’m trying to hold onto my control. Am really I going to let him get me off in public? “What are you doing here? I thought you were off today?”
“Are you trying to distract me?” Austin grins.
I place my palms flat on the top of the picnic table, hoping for the strength to stay upright, rather than melt into him. My pulse speeds up. I look around the area, worried people may be watching, but it’s empty except for us. “You’re going to make me come. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“You don’t?” he asks. “Does it feel good?”
“Yes.”
He leans closer to me, giving his fingers better access to hook into me. “It is exciting?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Do you want me to stop?”
Instead of worrying about who might be looking at us, I turn my face to his, which is inches from mine. His bright blue eyes shine with a sharpness I’ve never seen. A crooked smile lifts his lips as if he’s daring me to protest.
“No.”
Austin seizes my mouth, kissing me with a desperation that sends me over the edge. I grab his head with both hands and keep our mouths molded together as I come hard. When his lips twist into a grin, I remove my mouth from his.
“Holy fuck, that was sexy. I’ll never get enough of you, babe,” Austin says, his breath fast and warm against my cheeks.
“Are you kidding me?” Emily’s voice rings through the air thick and humid and filled with the scent of sex.
“Hey Em!” I squeak, embarrassed because I know she saw what just happened. If she’s this close to us, there’s no way she couldn’t have.
“Did you guys just do what I think you did?”
“What? Kiss?” Austin asks innocently. The smirk on his face is anything but innocent. He looks absolutely thrilled with himself. “Yeah, we kissed. Kissing your sister is my favorite thing in the world to do. She’s absolutely phenomenal.”
“Enough of that.” I stop him. “What are you doing here?”
“You let a guy finger-fuck you under the table and you don’t even know where he works? Real classy, Liz,” Emily teases.
I know it’s sarcasm. And yet, it still sends flames of embarrassment to my cheeks. Emily says whatever she feels like. She’s not hindered by any societal pressures of what’s appropriate to talk about in public.
“He was supposed to have today off. I didn’t realize he would be here.”
“Liz knows that my real job is a musician. A musician whose band just got offered a contract with RGA.”
“What?” Emily and I say in unison.
Austin smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes so there must be more to the story. “We literally just got the offer a few days ago.”
“Dude! I knew it. That’s so fucking rad!” Emily lifts her hand for a high five, then retracts it immediately. “You should probably wash your hand, dude.”
“Yup,” he says, lowering the arm he’d raised. I laugh.
“I mean, it’s not signed yet,” Austin continues. “We haven’t worked out all the details, so if you could keep it on the down low, that’d be awesome.”
“Yeah, man! Your secret is safe with me,” Emily assures him. That’s one of the things I love about her; she really does keep her mouth shut. Probably because she’s had to keep her life secret for so long. I can tell by the way people treat her that they do not know her background. I wonder if it would change things.
“Can we talk later?” he whispers.
“Of course.” I pull away, take his face in my hands, and plant my lips on his. I know he has reservations about signing a contract for various reasons. He must still be contemplating the pros and cons. Either way, I want to show my support. “I’m so proud of you.”
Em drops her messenger bag on the picnic table. “Why the fuck didn’t Fozzie text me?” Her thumbs tap her keyboard furiously.
“I don’t know. Probably because we’re still in shock. When Nelson said he had some big news, we thought it was something with the upcoming tour. We had no clue it was a label offering us a contract.”
“It’s the universe, man.” Emily looks up from her phone. “All the good shit you put into the world is coming to you.”
Austin nods. “Still a lot to work out. We’ll see.”
“Shit, Lizzy, I just saw your text. Sorry, I’m an asshole. I took a walk-in at the shop. Didn’t realize it would take me as long as it did. Did you eat?”
“No, not yet. I don’t even know what they have here,” I admit. I feel like an idiot that I sat here for thirty minutes, so paralyzed by the people who were talking about me, that I didn’t even go inside. Even though I’ve been here with Austin multiple times, I’ve never eaten at the deli.
“I’ll grab you a menu,” Austin says. “I gotta get back in there anyway. I’ll take my break in a few and have lunch with you guys, is that cool?”
“I don’t know. Is that cool, Liz? Or did you want time to gush about how much you love Austin without him here?”
“Shut up,” I hiss, though I can’t contain my smile. I don’t love him, do I? I like him. A lot. The more I see him, the more I want to see him. Even after a few months together, I still can’t get him out of my head. Every second with him makes me feel better and better about myself and my future.
“Oh shit. Sisters lunch, yeah. No. Don’t worry. I was just—fuck! I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“I like your intrusions,” I say without thinking about the double entendre.
But Emily doesn’t miss it. “I can confirm that from where I was standing.”
I drop my face into my hands.
“Give her a break, Em,” Austin says. “She stepped out of her comfort zone to have lunch with you here.”
His comment doesn’t come across as angry or rude, but it still stings. I’m comfortable anywhere. I just wasn’t comfortable with people talking shit about me while I was a few tables away.
Austin plants a kiss on my hair and goes back inside.
Em puts her hand on my head. “Lighten up, Liz! I’m kidding! Sorry I embarrassed you.”
I lift my head. “It’s okay. I’m not embarrassed by what you said. I’m embarrassed at how much I like him.”
“Why would you be embarrassed about that?” Emily lowers herself onto the bench across from me and pulls her knees up to sit criss-cross applesauce. Her long, pale legs are covered in even more art than last time I saw her. She could have had the tattoos for years, but I feel like I notice something new every time I’m with her. Tattoos aren’t my form of self-expression, but I absolutely appreciate how gorgeous they are and the talent of the artists.
I lift my gaze from her legs to her eyes. “He’s—”
“Infatuated with you?”
“What? No. It’s only been a few months.” I dismiss her assumption.
“Who cares. Love doesn’t have a timeline and that man fucking loves you.”
“Have you talked to him?” I feel like we are sitting at a table in a middle-school cafeteria.
“No. I can see it. I’ve known Austin for a long time.” Emily smiles as she pulls out a pack of cigarettes from her bag, then holds it up. “Do you mind?”
“Yes, but I know that won’t stop you.” Emily has heard enough of my lectures. I’m not one to waste more breath on a battle I have no control over.
“You’re what? Twenty-seven? Twenty-eight?�
�� she asks, holding the cancer stick in her mouth and lighting it. She takes a drag, then grabs it between two delicate fingers before she exhales. “And you can’t even tell when a guy is head over heels for you. That makes me sad, Liz.”
“He doesn’t love me. We just started dat—whatever this is.”
“You’re so smart, yet so dumb.”
Her words hit me hard, because of the truth behind them. She’s right, I’m book-smart, and empathetic, but I really suck at relationships. But that’s because I never had someone who treated me like Austin treats me.
I can’t stop the smile on my face and the butterflies in my stomach when I think about him. I’ve never wanted to spend less hours at work, or put off a project that would advance my career just to hang out with another human. Until now. I want to spend every minute with him. He’s ambitious and hardworking and empathetic and encouraging. He sees the best in me—which has nothing to do with wealth or a prestigious career. He sees what’s inside my heart. And the sex is out of this world—which seems so insignificant compared to everything else, but for me, it’s a huge part of a successful relationship.
And that’s when it hits me. It is love. I absolutely love Austin. The feelings I have for him are powerful and real. The person he brings out in me is the person I’ve always wanted to be.
There’s nothing I want more than his happiness and success and being on that journey with him. Isn’t that part of love? Wanting to do everything possible to enhance the other person’s happiness. Growing together, yet allowing each person to do their own thing? I don’t know. I’ve never been in love, but I’ve always wanted that to be the way.
Mutual respect and enthusiasm for the other person’s career has never been a part of my life. My boyfriends were either competing with me or pushing me to work harder. And maybe that’s what some people need from their partner, but not me. I don’t want to live life in a competition.
Honestly, I’ve been trying to enjoy the relationship day by day, rather than rush into thoughts about the future. But when I do look forward, I can’t see my life without him. Not for one second.
* * *
When Austin comes over for dinner later that night, I’m excited to hear all about the contract. I can’t help but feel like I’ve been a huge black cloud over him recently. He’s been helping me cope with the fallout of my injury when he should be excited and focused on all the amazing things happening.
“Tell me more about the record contract. That’s exciting, right?” I ask.
“Yes. And no. On one hand, it’s awesome that RGA is interested, but on the other hand—there are a million reasons to say no.”
“Such as?”
“The biggest thing is Tim.” He hesitates. “I honestly don’t want to sign something this big with him. I don’t trust him.”
“Have you talked to him?”
Austin laughs. “Yup. We had a bit of a blowup when Nelson brought us all together. Basically, we told him that he had to get his shit together or we’d find a new bass player. We’ll see how that goes.”
I reach across the table and place my hand on his. “I’m sorry. I know that has to be hard to face, especially right now. Before the festival this summer and the tour coming up.”
“Thanks, Liz.” He smiles. “It had to be done, though. We’ve been letting him slide for too long. We’ll see how he responds.”
“Is Tim the only reservation you have about signing?” I ask.
“No. I don’t want to lose creative control. I don’t want to give up any control really,” Austin admits. “And I know we’ll have to. But I really don’t think a big label is right for us.”
“What does Fozzie think? Is he on the same page?”
“Yes. And no.” Austin rubs his face in his hands. “He agrees with me, but at the same time, I think we were both dazzled by the fact that a label liked us and our music enough to want to sign us. It used to be the goal, ya know? What if we turn it down and regret it?” He spears a piece of broccoli. “The industry has changed so much. I’d rather be able to release the music we want. Keep money in our pockets. We don’t need the label’s money. We can figure it out. That’s why we both work side jobs and save money. I’d rather keep working at The Market and doing mini tours to build our audience. We draw great crowds. We have a large following on social media. I think this tour coming up with Walk on Mars is gonna blow us up, Liz.”
“I agree,” I tell him. “Sounds like you already know what you want. No big label.”
“It’s not just my decision.”
“I know, but it sounds like Fozzie feels the same way. He’s a smart guy, too.”
“Really?” he asks, squinting at me.
I think back to Fozzie’s insightful explanation of his trampoline-man tattoo and nod. “Yeah.”
“You don’t work weekends anymore, right?” Austin asks.
“No. I’m off the call schedule and I only have a few more patients left. I can check on them during the week.”
“Do you want to come to Atlanta?”
“For the festival?” I ask. I’ve never been to a music festival. I don’t even know what to expect, but it sounds really fun.
“Yeah.” He nods.
“I’d love to!” I jump from the chair and plant myself in his lap. Then I throw my arms around him. He squeezes me tightly.
“This is going to be huge for us, Liz,” Austin whispers in my ear. “Nothing could be better than having you by my side the entire time.”
My heart swells. I’m so excited for Austin. It’s time to stop dwelling on my own problems and be there to support him in the biggest moment of his career.
15
Austin
Liz curls up next to me, tucking her arms around me and throwing her legs over my lap. We’re in the back row of the van, on the way to Atlanta, to play our first big music festival. There’s a tense excitement in the air, and I’m so glad I invited her. She calms me, gives me focus, and keeps me from overanalyzing all the shit I have going on in my head that I don’t need to think about right now. All I can do is take it one day at a time, and here we are.
We absolutely cannot sign a contract with him. We gave Tim a chance to prove that he cares about the band as much as we do, and he didn’t show up for either rehearsal we had for this festival set. After this weekend, we’ll get everything squared away. We have a few days before we go on tour with Walk on Mars. We should have kicked him out before we hit the road today, but how the hell were we going to find another bass player in such a short time?
Liz pulls her hair away from her neck, giving me a view of her soft, smooth collarbone and full breasts practically bursting out of her skimpy sundress. My dick presses against my jeans. Everything about her gets me hard. I want to reach under her skirt and play with her pussy while the guys goof off. They’ll never know. Even if they do, they don’t give a fuck. They know how I feel about Liz. Not only is she my muse, she’s the person keeping me going as we navigate these exciting, but stressful times.
It makes me crazy knowing that she wears loose, flowy dresses for me. My shy, proper, straight-laced doctor knows that I want access to her at all times. She loves fulfilling every fantasy. She loves that there’s no weirdness. It’s all respect and open minds and mind-blowing orgasms.
I slide my fingers up the inside of her thigh, teasing her by rubbing through her panties. She arches into me, which spurs me on.
“You’ve got to be quiet, Miss Honey,” I whisper. “Unless you want the guys to hear you.”
Her forehead rubs against my chest, her way of giving me permission without speaking. I slip a finger inside her, turned on at how wet she is already. I work her with one finger before adding a second, excited at her involuntary reaction to squeeze me tightly. I love how she tries to contain herself. It must be killing her, because she’s normally really loud.
When my thumb starts to rub on the outside of her underwear, her pussy tightens around my fingers. She knows she’ll be co
ming soon. My cock swells under her legs. She writhes against my fingers, silently asking for more. I’m moving fast now, tapping her G-spot while rubbing fast circles with my thumb. I know she’s gonna explode. I can’t wait to feel her all over my hand.
I’m working furiously, not giving a fuck that it’s obvious to anyone who looks back here what I’m doing. But I want Liz to come hard. She needs it. She needs to know that this is the sexy, part of life. It’s normal to want each other. It’s normal to fuck. Maybe not in a van with six other guys, but hey, fantasy is fantasy.
Her teeth dig into my shoulder, and I know she’s coming. She’s riding my hand, grinding and squeezing. It’s so fucking hot. I want her mouth on my cock so fucking badly, but that’s out of the question. Later, I’ll make sure we’re alone somewhere.
If finger-fucking her here, in the van, where we’re slightly concealed, gets me this hard, I can only imagine what it’ll be like when I’m doing this to her as we stand in the crowd, watching a concert.
Thankfully, our set isn’t until tomorrow, so we have all day to relax and get our bearings in Atlanta today.
“We should get back to the van before the guys tonight so we can take this seat again.”
“When are we going to the hotel?” Liz asks, words coming out as pants between breaths.
“We don’t have a hotel. We sleep in the van at festivals.”
Liz practically dries up on the spot; her pussy feels like my mouth after smoking weed. Shit.
“You sleep in the van?”
“Yeah. Hotels are expensive. We don’t really have that budget yet.”
“Okaaaay,” she says. “But you asked me to come this weekend. Don’t you think you should have said something?”
Fuck me. Yes, I should’ve.
“Yeah—I’m—Jesus, Liz. I’m sorry. I’ve been running around, trying to get everything ready for this, and I honestly didn’t even think about it.”
I expect her wrath. Hell, I deserve her wrath. The fact that it didn’t even cross my mind to suggest to Liz that she might want to get a hotel makes me feel like a complete asshole. And I wasn’t even trying to be. I really did forget.
OPEN YOUR HEART: Material Girls 1 Page 16
