Chapter 24,
in which Maggie confuses the real man not really in her life while
trying to explain the one that
was in her life but wasn't real
“What happened? Where am I now? I’m supposed to be at the motel getting my laptop!”
“What are you talking about, Maggie?”
“My laptop. I left it at the motel last night by accident. I have to get back there and pick it up.”
“You’re not going anywhere just now. I know it’s important to you, but . . .”
“You don’t know anything. I have to get that. There’s lots of my writing on it. Photos of family. Too much to ever replace and if I don’t get back there, it will walk away. Jacob is there watching it for me until I get back. He won’t understand if I don’t show up.”
“Does Jacob work there? I’m sure he’ll keep it safe.”
“No, he doesn’t work there. He’s sort of my traveling companion. He went back to watch over it until I could get there.”
“I’m a little confused. If he’s your traveling companion, how did he get there before you?”
“It’s very complicated. I just need to get there. What happened anyway? Was I in another accident?”
“Not this time. You just collapsed. They called me because I was the last number in your cell.”
“How did you get here so fast?”
“I didn’t. They brought you in yesterday afternoon.”
“Oh, no! I’ve got to get out of here!”
“Look, Maggie, do you want me to go and retrieve your laptop? I don’t know that they’d give it to me, but I would try for you.”
“I don’t know what to do. Jacob has got to be worried sick. I told him to stay there. He doesn’t have any idea what’s going on. How could he? I just found out myself.”
“Call him.”
“He doesn’t exactly have a phone.”
“So tell me how he got there before you?”
Maggie froze up and didn’t utter a sound.
“Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, I get it. You told me you were involved with someone, but you also told me you were traveling alone. Now you have this guy that’s able to, what, like hovercraft himself somewhere? I’ve offered to help. You can take me up on it or not. The offer still stands. I’m not trying to be rude. I just think you’re not being as straight with me as I once thought.”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what? Yes, you’re not being straight with me? Yes, you want me to go back and get your laptop? Yes, he has a hovercraft?”
The last question was intended to make Maggie smile and it did, but only briefly. The worry came back and now it was compounded by the need to possibly explain things to Dave that she hadn’t told anyone.
“Look, if you’ll go and see about my computer, I’ll tell you what’s going on, but you will think me absolutely off my nut. I promise you that.”
“I don’t think that’s really possible, but give me the information and I’m on my way.”
Maggie gave him what he needed to find the motel and he was out in a flash. All she could think about for the next few hours was how Jacob would react to David being the one to pick up the laptop. What he must think about her not showing up. He would be out of his mind with worry.
Three hours later she heard his voice.
“Oh, Jacob, I’m so sorry.”
He had come as soon as David picked up the computer and of course, was able to get to her much quicker.
“What is going on?”
“I collapsed again, like the time you got me to the hospital from the bookstore parking lot. I guess it’s all just been too much for me lately.”
“I’m so sorry. What about David? What was he doing here? Did you call him?”
“No, of course not. He had just called me right before it happened.”
“Did he say something that caused this?”
“No, no, no! It’s not like that. He was just checking up on me out of some premonitory concern. He was the last number in my cell phone when the police officer found me and got me here. They called him. He was kind enough to offer to go pick up the computer for me.”
“Margaret, you have to know how worried I was! I didn’t know whether to come and check on you and risk losing sight of the laptop for even a second. I had to stay with it. I’m so sorry. I should have been the one here with you.”
“No, Jacob, you were right where I needed you. Believe me, everything happened as it should have.”
“What does that mean exactly?”
“It just means that things have changed.”
“Does this have anything to do with David?”
“It has everything to do with David.”
This was not the answer Jacob was anticipating, though it might have been floating around in the back of his mind. He was really fishing for a little reassurance when he asked the question and now stood utterly and completely stunned by the answer he got.
“Please explain.”
“I’ve begun to think that there is a reason that David and I literally ran into one another. It’s kind of like we were meant to. Like we were two souls wandering around waiting to finally meet up. How else do you explain it?”
“The world is full of opportunists, my dear.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that things aren’t always as they seem. Sometimes people see a prospect and seize the moment to take advantage. You and David only really bumped into each other once. After that it was he who managed to wiggle through the cracks into your life. He called again and again. I just don’t have a good feeling about this at all. Does he know about me?”
“Not exactly. I think he finds me a bit eccentric. I told him I’d explain everything once he retrieved my laptop. He’s really a very kind and generous man. I mean, he went all the way to get my laptop for me. Doesn’t that tell you something about his character?”
“It tells me that he wants for you to believe he is a kind and generous man and that he is willing to do just enough to make you believe it.”
“Jacob, this is a side of you I haven’t seen before. You are being very harsh and judgmental. I have not known you to be so cynical.”
“It’s just a gut instinct. I can’t back it up. I’m just warning you to be cautious.”
“Really, Jacob, how did I manage my life before you came along?”
“Margaret, you have seen a lot of ugliness in your days. I know that. But I am here to tell you that I have seen much more of it. You only have to review our stories to know that. I think I’m going to take off for a while. Just call if you need me.”
Maggie knew she had crossed the line with him, but she felt justified in her indignation. He was being a little presumptuous and uncharitable with regards to his assessment of David. She let him go without a word and closed her eyes and dozed off until she heard the voice of the other man who was suddenly in her life.
Chapter 24,
in which David surprises Maggie which perturbs Jacob immensely, Maggie swears off all men once more
and a bucket list is made
“How are you doing, Maggie? I have a little surprise for you.”
Maggie sat up in her hospital bed a little too quickly and the resulting wooziness made her plop right back down. He touched her forehead gently, running his the back of his fingers down her cheek and ending with a sweet tug on her chin.
“Take it easy, there, partner.”
He laid the gift on her lap and beamed with obvious pride in his conquest on her behalf.
“Oh, David, thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.”
“I think I might. It would have been a little difficult to hide the distress on your face when you told me it was missing. I’m so glad I could do something for you.”
“You’ve done plenty, really, David.”
“Not nearly enough and not nearly as much as I’d like to.”
Maggie
raised an eyebrow in concern for his abrupt confession.
“Well, thanks again,” she spoke in a dismissive tone, which he either didn’t catch or chose to ignore. Though she believed in the words she shared with Jacob, she was nonetheless a little apprehensive about jumping into something; and after that last conversation, she honestly had some doubts and was in no condition to talk to anyone much less delve into a new relationship.
“What else can I do for you?”
“Nothing. I just need to rest.”
“You were going to share the story of Jacob with me. Do you remember?”
“I do but I can’t right now. I need a nap.”
“May I stay until you wake up?”
“I wish you wouldn’t. I’m sorry. I just had words with Jacob and I’m in no mood to have another precarious conversation. I’ll call you when I’m ready.”
“I knew he must have beat me here. He wasn't at the hotel like you said he would be. I'm surprised he just left it there.” David chuckled a little nervously, but Maggie saw right through his attempts to undermine Jacob. Maybe Jacob was right after all.
“You have no idea.”
“Well, you rest then. I’ll wait for your call.”
Maggie instinctively knew that David was growing real feelings for her and, despite her doubts, she might be doing the same, but she knew for sure she had to take it slow. Her heart was still with Jacob and this whole fiasco was confusing and a part of her wished that she had never met either one of them. Life would at least be simpler without all the drama that had transpired since meeting both of them.
She smiled and he left with a look of all-encompassing dejection.
Once he had gone, she closed her eyes for a nap and didn’t wake up until dinner. She slept right through the vitals checks. The smell of hospital pot roast aroused her senses and she sat up and devoured her dinner, wishing she could have some accompanying dinner conversation.
After she finished her meal, she watched Law and Order re-runs until she once again dropped off to sleep, hoping to dream of Vincent D'Onofrio rather than David or Jacob.
“Goodnight, Jacob, wherever you are,” she nonetheless whispered into the sterile hospital room air.
When the sun glared rudely through the window, Maggie awoke with the stirrings to get back on the road. She felt urgency in getting to each of her children, particularly with the way her health was spiraling downward. She knew the time was running down for treatment.
When the doctor came in, he released her with strong warnings to finish up her travels and to get things started with her doctor at home.
She dressed and got into the car, but was unable to turn the key. She had to contact Jacob and get him back in the passenger seat.
“Jacob, I miss you. Please come make the trip with me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I had this pair of earrings once. They were my favorite and I only paid a few dollars for them. They were beautiful shiny silver with fake diamonds dangling in a cluster. I took off the pair of tiny sterling hoops and put them away because they weren’t noticeable enough. I wore the new ones all the time and it didn’t take long for the jewels to start falling out and the metal to turn this awful pink color when the silver paint wore off. Sometimes we lose sight of the value of what we have because of the glaring shininess of something new.”
“Margaret, I love you so much . . . enough to let you go if you think you are supposed to be with David.”
“What?”
Maggie felt a powerful sting in his words. She was pouring out her heart to him and he came back with seeming dejection.
“All I mean is that love is not about obsession or control. It is about allowing those dearest to you to lead their own lives. If you want to explore a possible future with David, then by all means, that is what you should do.”
Tears ran down her flushed cheeks.
“Honestly, Maggie, I don't understand you at all. I thought this would make you happy. But perhaps you are a woman who is just used to the controlling, manipulative behaviors of insecure men. Maybe that is your comfort zone. I'm at kind of a loss here.”
Maggie could not speak. She was heaving so hard that she choked on he own saliva and quickly grabbed the ice water next to her and sipped through the straw. When she had somewhat composed herself, she brushed him away with her hands, still unable to utter a sound aside from the sobs.
“You want me to leave? I'm gone.”
And with that, Maggie was once again alone and was once again swearing off men forever, only this time, she meant it. Not like she had meant it every other time either. She was done for good. All she wanted was to make the remaining visits to her children and then lie down in her bed and expire. Die. Pass away into the bleak nothingness she was once afraid existed, but now seemed like an agreeable option.
Behind the ostentation of these flamboyantly dressed words existed a strength and resolution that Maggie had not felt in some time. She raised the head of the bed and opened her laptop and began to pour her heart into two things: the book she had been writing and her own personal bucket list. She determined that once she had completed each item on the list and written “The End” on the manuscript, her life could end and she would be happy about it.
She wrote for about 3 hours and then she buzzed for a nurse.
“I'll be checking out of your fine establishment now.”
“I don't think so.”
“Oh, I know so.”
Maggie was alarming herself with this newly found liberation from a lifelong lived in victim-hood. It was exhilarating and at the same time, exhaustive.
“I'm going to ring for the doctor to speak with you,” the nurse tried to bully Maggie right back.
“I won't be here.”
“You do realize that you are leaving against medical advice, don't you.”
“Yes. Thank you for everything.”
The nurse hmmphed out the door with an amusingly cliché air of contempt.
Maggie dressed, packed up the laptop, and walked down the hall and out to the parking lot and looked for her car, suddenly realizing that she didn't have it. Nor did she know what had happened with the rental car. For about 45 seconds, she re-thought her assertive posture with the hospital and then the new Maggie re-surfaced and she knew what to do. She pulled out the rental contract and her cell phone and made the call that she would have, in her previous life, shrunk away from making.
She had to fight regression, however, when she realized the rental car agency would not rent her another car without a physician's clearance. She plopped down on a bench in the hospital's relaxation garden and thought. She thought until her she felt her brain would melt and flow from her ears like lava.
Chapter 25,
in which Maggie figures things out,
travels solo to pop in on another daughter and makes a new friend
Maggie decided to brave a bus back to Springfield, Ohio, and hope that her car had been repaired so that she could once again head to Rachel's house in Virginia. It wouldn't be so bad. She had often traveled by bus as a teenager. Things couldn't have changed that awfully much, could they?
She hailed a cab and directed the driver, a lovely olive-skinned man with a Greek accent, to take her to the bus station. She walked through the grimy doors, luggage and laptop bag in hand, and surveyed the dilapidated surroundings that clearly had not been cleaned, much less, refurbished since around 1970. There were people sleeping in corners as if it were their home. She made her way to the ticket counter, seriously questioning her decision, and inquired about a ticket to Springfield.
“That will be $87.50 and it will leave here at 4:45 this evening and arrive tomorrow morning at 11:00. You'll change buses three times.”
“You can't be serious. That's a hefty price for a ticket and why on earth would it take so long to get there when I could drive it in about 5 hours.”
“Look, lady, I don't make the
schedule, I just sell the tickets. The bus has to stop at every Podunk town between here and there. And besides that, if you could drive it in 5 hours why aren't you?”
“That really is none of your concern. I am just unable to right now.”
“Then I guess you'll be needing a ticket, now, won't you?”
“Fine, just give me the ticket and I'll sit and wait for the bus.”
“You're going to sit for 6 hours? That might be considered loitering.”
Maggie, without uttering a word, pointedly scoped out the station, pausing on each vagrant who was holed up there.
“Fine, suit yourself.”
With that, the clerk shoved the ticket so hard that it flew off the counter, forcing Maggie to bend over and retrieve it. This seemingly insignificant act dredged up countless memories of all the random acts of unkindness ever shown to her by the men in her life. The times they had let her down and the fact that they continued to let her down by not being in her life right now when she could use a man. The truth was that every time things got to be more than she could handle, she blamed those who had hurt her. She lugged these heavy bricks of pain around in a cumbersome duffel bag and believed with everything in her that they were the reason for her chronic pain, but for whatever reason, chose not to put them down but to continue to hang on to them.
Grimm's Last Fairy Tale Page 12
