“I see. So, what is the prognosis?”
This was a surprising reaction from Richard, who was generally much more warm and sensitive.
“Well, when I return home from seeing each of you—I still have to see Roxanne—I will start treatments. I have hope, though the doctor hasn't given me a great deal. Anything is possible.”
“I see. I'm so sorry, ma. This is just about the worst news I could have received right now.”
“Are you alright, Richard?”
“I'm fine. Just don't know how to handle this.”
“I know it's tough. I just sense there is something else going on besides this.”
“Nothing really. There's just threats of lay-offs. I've been a little stressed about that.”
“Oh, dear. I hope they don't affect you. I'm sorry about the timing.”
“Ma, you didn't exactly plan this, did you? Neither did I. Life just sometimes tries to get the best of us and we have to not allow that. You know. We've been down some tough roads before now and we'll have a few more to go down before it's all said and done. Hug?”
“Hug. Thanks, Richard. I miss those big old arms of yours.”
Sarah came in from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.
“I'm sorry. I overheard. Mrs. Austen, what can we do? There are programs out there. Experimental treatments. Let me get online and see what we can come up with.”
“It's OK, Sarah, I have already set up treatments at home. But if they don't produce any results, I can always let you know. You would be the one to come up with something for me, I know that.”
“Thanks, that's nice to hear.”
“Well, ma, let's get you settled in downstairs. There's a TV down there, but as I recall, you don't generally watch. There are books on the shelves in the library.”
“I have my laptop. I'm actually working on a book myself.”
“You're writing? That's awesome.”
“Yes, it's about time. I have been trying off and on through the years, as you know, and now is my time.”
“I'm glad to hear it. It will be a nice diversion for you between appointments. Well, let me know if you need anything. I'm going to go help Sarah with some laundry. We like to fold clothes while we watch a movie. You rest well, OK?”
“Thank you, Richard. Sweet dreams.”
Maggie did her nighttime routine and then set up the laptop. She was no more ready to sleep that she was ready to fly out a window, so she thought it would be a good time to catch up on the last few days of thoughts.
“May I interrupt?”
“Jacob, I was just thinking about you.”
“I doubt that. I saw how lost you were in all those words.”
“Well, maybe I was, but I have an enormous capacity for multi-thinking. Anyway, I'm glad you dropped in.”
“How is the visit going?”
“Good, I think. Richard is having some worries of his own. Lay-offs at his company. I am so sorry about the ill-timing of my troubles. But he's a strong man. I'm sure, with Sarah and the kids supporting him, he'll be alright.”
“Yes,” Jacob answered with an exaggerated nod.
“Do you know something?”
“Yes,” again with the big nod.
“What? Is something wrong with Richard?”
“No.”
“Then what is it? You have to tell me! Is it one of the kids? Sarah?”
“It's a little one that hasn't been announced yet. He won't make it here. They know about the pregnancy. They know about some complications. They don't know the outcome.”
“Then how can you tell me? What am I supposed to do with this knowledge? Just hold onto it and not let it leak? Thanks a lot, Jacob.”
“Don't get mad at the messenger. And besides that, there won't be any awkward silences. It's going to happen tonight. Sarah hasn't been feeling well all day. I couldn't say anything to you before now, because I'm not allowed to alter actions to suit the needs of those involved. I'm just glad you made it when you did.”
“So what do I do? Just sit here until . . .”
“Ma! Can you come up here? Quick!”
“Jacob, you can leave now.”
Maggie ran up the stairs to find Sarah doubled over in pain and bleeding and Richard trying his best to figure out what to do.
“Mom, can you just watch the kids while I get her to the hospital?”
“Of course, run, go take care of Sarah and the baby.”
Richard looked at his mother perplexed, but grabbed the car keys and a towel and carried Sarah to the car.
The children were standing at the top of the stairs looking worried and Rosie was crying, which was beginning to have a domino effect. Like the little stair steps they were, they one by one began to bawl.
“Come here, you wascally wabbits!”
They ran to their grandmother and climbed onto her. She made her way to the sofa and they all piled on her ample lap. For once, she was grateful for her extra girth.
“What's wrong with mommy?” Rosie was the spokesperson for the group. The others knew the pecking order.
“She's not feeling well and daddy needs to take her to have a doctor check her out.”
“Will she be OK?”
“She will be fine. I'm sure of that. We just need to stay here, have some milk and cookies, and say a prayer. How does that sound?”
“Yeah.”
Before she could even get to the kitchen, the children were kneeling in the living room and waiting for her to lead them.
She knelt with them and poured out her heart for the safety of Sarah.
They all had a look of relief on their faces and ran ahead of her into the kitchen. She got herself up with the aid of the coffee table and sofa and limped in after them.
They had their snack and she got them tucked back into bed, assuring them that they would wake to their mother the next morning. She said a silent prayer that her comforting words would come true.
Chapter 32,
in which some things are not explained,
which is sometimes alright,
and the goodbyes get harder
Maggie did not sleep that night. Nor did she call on Jacob for comfort. She just wrote for several hours and then turned on the TV for distraction. For about an hour she flipped through infomercials, vowing never to fall for any of these inane gadgets or the promises of improved life they offered.
She turned it off and went back to the laptop but as soon as she began to type, she heard the car pull in.
She ran up the stairs and found Richard walking in without Sarah.
“What's going on?”
“I'll tell you, but first I need to know how you knew about the baby.”
“I guess it was Sarah's glow. She always has a glow when she's expecting. I don't know. Call it mother's intuition.”
“It's almost like you knew there would be a problem. Weird. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. I don't know. I'm tired.”
“So tell me.”
“She miscarried. She was expecting, but there were complications. Erratic heart rate, things weren't developing as they should. We were hopeful, but it just wasn't to be. They stabilized her and are keeping her overnight. She should be fine to come home tomorrow.”
“Did the children know about the baby?”
“No, we hadn't told them just yet because of the uncertainty. We hadn't told anyone. That's why it's so peculiar that you knew.”
“What will you tell the kids?”
“The truth. We will tell them that it just didn't work out.”
“You know they knelt and prayed for Sarah. That was pretty sweet that their first inclination was to pray.”
“Yes, Sarah's done a good job with them with regards to things like that. You know my stance on it, but I have no objections to her raising them with her beliefs. I guess it's better than the cynicism I have.”
“Don't be so hard on yourself. You didn't really have much of an example of that growing up. Yo
u're doing an amazing job as a father and husband and that cannot be discounted because you don't follow organized religion.”
“Thanks, ma.”
“I love you, Richard. Now get some sleep. Those kids get up early! I'll make them breakfast. When you get up, you can go on back to the hospital and wait with her.”
“Sounds like a plan. I don't know why it worked out that you were here when we needed you, but I'm awfully glad it did. I would have had to scramble to find someone and it would have taken longer to get her there. As it was, they had to give her a unit of blood.”
“Poor thing. I know she must be exhausted and so disappointed.”
“Yes, but right now she's not feeling anything. They gave her something strong to put her out.”
“Sleep well, baby boy.”
After that, Maggie was able to drop off with no problem. She slept for a couple hours before she heard little feet stampeding down the stairs.
“Grandma, mommy isn't here. You said she'd be here.”
“She will be here in a little while. Your dad will go get her as soon as he wakes up.”
“OK, what's for breakfast?”
“Pancakes and sausage. How does that sound?”
Maggie was known for her pancakes. They were as light as a feather and as small as a fifty cent piece. She told the children to run and dress quietly and meet her in the kitchen. She dressed and slowly walked up the stairs and began to get out the ingredients. She laid everything out with a note beside each ingredient telling how much went into the bowl. When the children got to the kitchen, she assigned each one of them an ingredient and told them to put them into the big ceramic bowl. The lined up and one by one added their ingredients to the bowl.
“That's the way families are. Without each one of those ingredients, the pancakes wouldn't be as good as they are. Each one of you is an important part of this family and each one of you adds something to the mix that makes it better. Remember that.”
They smiled and little Adam cried out, 'I'm the buttermilk!'
“Yes, you are the buttermilk.”
They all laughed.
Breakfast was a delight with the five of them laughing and telling knock-knock jokes.
Richard came downstairs as they were clearing their plates.
“Daddy, we made pancakes with grandma and I'm the buttermilk.”
Richard looked puzzled.
“I'll explain later. Here's a plate for you. I kept it warm in the oven.”
“Thanks, ma. How about some coffee?”
“Got it right here. Black, right?”
“Yes, ma'am. Thanks for taking care of all this. Again, I'm not sure how you knew to be here, but I'm glad you were.”
“Well, we have things planned this morning, so you just go on and get yourself back to Sarah. I'm sure she's probably up by now and waiting for you.”
“I'm on my way.”
Maggie busied herself with the grandkids, first tidying up the house, then working out in the yard.
When they saw the car pull into the driveway, they ran to it, waiting for it to come to a complete stop and then running to the passenger door to escort their mother in.
When all were gathered in, Sarah and Richard sat the children down and explained everything to them in a sweeter way than she would have thought possible. The children seemed to take the news as well as it was given.
Sarah went to bed, but invited the children up to spend time with her while she rested. All in all, it was an impressive, though heartbreaking, event handled well by good parents.
Maggie decided to stay a couple of days longer to assist with things while Sarah recuperated. It was a pleasant visit and though she never could fully explain to Richard's satisfaction how she knew about the baby, he remained grateful for the timing.
Two days later, Sarah was feeling better and Maggie knew it was time to leave and get on to Roxanne's place in Indiana. She was beginning to tire easier and sooner in the day and she felt that the time was closing in to get treatment.
“Mrs. Austen, I'm so glad you popped in when you did. We are indebted to you. I heard about the pancakes and I'm so glad you were able to spend some quality time with the kiddos. You're a real blessing to us. Come again soon.”
“Ma, I love you. Thank you for everything. Drive safely.”
“One more thing, Richard, please don't talk to Roxanne. Well, you can talk to her, but don't tell her. The others didn't tell you. But feel free to call your other sisters. I know they miss you. I wish all of you could get together and have some fun.”
The children chanted their unified goodbyes, blowing kisses and waving until long after Maggie was down the road. The goodbyes were getting harder for her. This last one would be the worst and Maggie needed a day to gear up for it.
Chapter 33,
in which Maggie takes a day off, does
a little traveling and a lot of dreading
Maggie drove just across the border in Indiana and stopped at the first motel she came to. She checked in, set up the laptop and began to pour her heart into her writing. She cried throughout most of it for reasons too plentiful to comprehend. She had enjoyed the eventful trip so far, had survived some close calls, had made new friends who turned out not to be friends, helped in a crisis, been mugged, traveled by bus, and said what was possibly her last goodbye to three of her children, with the hardest goodbye to come. It wasn't that she loved Roxanne any more than the others. It's just that she was the youngest and that somehow made it worse. Roxanne didn't have a spouse to turn to for comfort. She didn't even have a serious boyfriend. She just had her faith, which is something she seemed to be born with.
Maggie continued her writing, stopping only to eat once, and when she looked at her watch it was two in the morning.
“Oh, good grief,” she said out loud. “Jacob, why didn't you tell me what time it was?”
“You dismissed me at Richard's house. Nice man with a nice family, by the way. I'm so impressed with your family. You've done a good job and shouldn't beat yourself up quite so much.”
“They came here good. They just managed to turn into great adults despite me.”
“There you go again. I'm sure you had something to do with it. Anyway, what are you still doing up?”
“What do you think?”
“Writing this whole time?”
“Yep. Going well, if I say so myself.”
“And tomorrow?”
“The hardest goodbye.”
“Well, I'm going to say goodnight and let you rest. Do you think you'll be able to sleep tonight?”
“I hope so. I need to. Jacob, I don't feel so well. I'm getting shorter and shorter of breath and I'm so tired. The trip has been so much more stressful than I had anticipated and its not over yet. So many things have happened. I just need to wrap it up and get home to take care of myself. I hope I'm strong enough to finish this journey.”
“You are. I know it.”
“Do you know it in the way you knew about the baby or do you just believe in me?”
“A little of both. I know your journey is not over. You just have to believe in it and dwell not so much on all that has happened, but on all the hope you can muster up. What's done is done. It can't happen again. It's like when you read the scriptures and you see the words, 'it came to pass.' Think about what that means. It came to pass. It didn't come to stay. Pass. Gone. Done. Lesson learned. ”
“I guess I never thought of it that way.”
“Well, it's time to turn off the thinker for the night and get some shut eye. Want a kiss on the forehead?”
“Oh, yes, please—and make it as magic as the others. Potent stuff, your kisses. I can only imagine what a real one on the lips would do to me.”
“When the time is right, you shall know.”
“Goodnight, Jacob.”
“Goodnight, my love.”
Chapter 34,
in which a sad visit turns into
a happy one and Maggie i
s left wondering who to believe
When the morning light crept through the heavy draperies in the motel, Maggie awoke with a heavy heart. She tried to write her feelings, but was clearly blocked, so she packed the car and got underway for the last two hours of the trip.
She invited Jacob, but made it clear to him that this would be a silent, retrospective sort of day and he regarded her wishes. This made the trip seem to creep along, and finally Maggie had had enough of thinking and pondering and turned on her music and began to sing at the top of her lungs. The last thing she wanted was to bring Roxanne down. She had to suck it up and put on a happy face and managed to do so just before pulling onto campus.
She called Roxanne from the car.
“What's new, cutie?”
“Not too much, mom, just studying.”
“It's a lovely day out. You should step away from the books and get some fresh air.”
“How do you know what the weather is like here in Indiana?”
“Look out your window.”
Grimm's Last Fairy Tale Page 17
