Cowardice was not a trait he’d ever embrace, and as uncomfortable as this would be, he would do it, even if that damned actor was nearby, listening to every word.
Parking behind the high-spec Fisker monstrosity, he got out and walked over the crunching gravel to her door. It was a weekday, so her children probably wouldn’t be there. For a moment, this seemed like sheer insanity. In every way, Cheryl was problematic, but that didn’t seem to matter in the scheme of things.
It took her a moment to answer after he knocked and he saw the look of surprise on her face. It was the same look he’d gotten through his entire time knowing her—astonishment that he was there.
“Dominic,” she said. “Is there a problem?”
“No, yes. Can I come in or do you have visitors?”
“Please.”
Walking into her house, he looked for the actor, but saw no signs of him. Did she love this guy? Dominic shouldn’t be here if she did. It wouldn’t be fair to her if she did. What right had he to come say he offered something better? Then again, the guy was an actor—they were known for being flighty.
Okay, now he had no idea what to say. She was looking at him, searching for understanding. “I’ve found,” he started, “that I have been unfair in dealing with you.”
“No, you haven’t,” she stated. “You’ve been generous, almost to a fault. Actually to a fault, I’m sure.”
A small smile ghosted across his lips. “In some ways perhaps. I kissed you once.”
Colour rose up her cheeks and she looked away. “Would you like a coffee?”
“No. Do you have visitors?”
“No.”
“There is a car in the driveway. I assumed it belonged to your friend.”
“Oh. No, he left. Left me the car in the process.”
“Left?”
“Gone home. Was never really here to stay.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He absolutely wasn’t.
“If I sell it, I will have more than enough to restart the salon.”
“Yes,” he said absently. “About that kiss.”
“I’ll just make some coffee.”
“No,” he said and grabbed her wrist. It was an instinct, a reflex. He had no idea how to say this. With Bianca, he hadn’t needed to. She had orchestrated the entire thing. Instead of saying something, he just kept pulling her until their lips met. Pleasure surged through his brain, sedating every thought or worry he had. The taste of her was like nectar, her lips soft and yielding. It might have been a clumsy start, but the reward more than made up for it.
He broke the kiss when he couldn’t breathe anymore, and for a moment, they stood there, close enough to embrace, but not quite doing so. “I was the one who backed away,” he said, feeling like he had to explain.
If she was in love with this actor, she certainly wasn’t fighting this kiss. Wouldn’t she be fighting it if her interest was elsewhere?
“Uhm,” she said, pressing her lips together. The sight sent a spear of erotic tension through his body. But she wasn’t moving away. She stayed there with him, close enough that he could feel her breath on his neck. She was looking down on his chest, her hand gently resting there, but not pushing him away.
Hope soared inside him. She was not pushing him away. “I wasn’t perhaps able to offer what you needed.”
“So you came here and kissed me?”
“I’ve come to recognise that it was a certain level of cowardice on my part. See, I thought I would be better off with a relationship that provided no challenges.”
“Challenges?”
“Well, that really required my participation.”
She looked confused. “I don’t understand.”
“There are many women, and probably men, I’m sure, who will tolerate a great deal of one-sidedness in relationships in exchange for a luxurious lifestyle. For someone like me, that provides many of the benefits of a relationship without most of the costs.”
A frown marred her brow and she stepped away. He was losing her. “I’m not sure that’s called a relationship,” she said.
“It is a form of one.”
“A cartoon version, perhaps.”
“Yes,” he agreed.
“It isn’t a relationship if one side is carrying all the weight, making all the compromises. That’s called an employee.”
“Well, there is probably something to that.”
“And that is what you want?”
“No, I mean yes. It was what I thought I wanted, but I also knew it wasn’t something you would tolerate.”
“You’ve got that right.” She moved away and switched on her percolator, but by the look of her, she wasn’t sure she wanted to serve him coffee right at that moment. “Why are you here?”
“I… ” he started, but then stopped. Perhaps it was time to leave—cut his losses and walk away. No, that was not what he wanted. It wouldn’t solve anything. “Because I love you.”
With a snort, she looked at him incredulously, but then she grew serious and that frown returned. “You’re my landlord. I have nothing compared to you. There is a massive imbalance between us in terms of wealth, and then power.”
“Yes,” he admitted. “Which is usually where these one-sided relationships arise from. But I want you.”
“But I don’t want you.”
That hurt. It speared painfully straight into his chest. Maybe it really was time to go and to admit defeat. Perhaps he’d been resoundingly stupid coming here. “It is me, or is it who I am?”
“You’re a man who’s only ever had one-sided relationships. You have to admit that you’re not exactly a good bet. In terms of signing yourself up for a troubled relationship, this could be as awful as it gets.”
What he heard was that it wasn’t him, precisely. But he couldn’t be sure. In business, the first bargaining position was always negative. “Are you not attracted to me at all?”
“It’s not an issue of attraction.” Aha. The opposition wasn’t quite ready to walk away. If this was a negotiation, then he was the supreme master of the art. “It would be a relationship with so many strikes against it from the very start. How long would it be until you’d expect me to do what I’m told?”
“I’m not here because I thought you would come around to being in that kind of relationship.”
“Then what kind of relationship do you expect?” Her eyes were piercing. He just noticed that she wasn’t wearing any makeup at all. It was just her—no armour, no hiding, no pretence. Then again, it had been him with the armour, refusing to reveal any cracks in it. It still went against the grain to be this vulnerable. All his life, he had worked to be exactly the opposite.
“Whatever kind you can tolerate.”
“I’ve had one husband that wreaked havoc in my life. With you, even the whims of your ex-girlfriend just about ran me out of town. What are you going to do if we disagree on something?”
“We set boundaries,” he said. Any negotiation ended in a contract. “Then you can call me on it if I ever step out of line. I don’t want a one-dimensional relationship with you, Cheryl. I’m not here because I want to cheat or cajole you into anything. I want the real deal.”
“Real relationships are hard and you can’t just jump on a plane and escape. And you have your own plane,” she said as if making her point.
He stepped closer to her. “I don’t want to escape. I don’t want to take the easy route. I want to make it work, to iron out the problems.”
Cheryl was biting her nail, but she wasn’t stepping away as he approached.
Chapter 61
“I have my boys to think about.”
“I’m not a monster, and for all my shortcomings, my kids have turned out okay in the end.”
Cheryl smiled. She hadn’t intended to imply he was a bad father. It was just a risk inviting someone into their lives, especially someone who had more or less admitted he came from a place of deeply flawed expectations.
There was something
in her that wanted to jubilantly throw caution to the wind and just go with it, but did she have the right to do that? Also, was she defeating herself by being too cautious, making it impossible for any man to come near her. There wasn’t a man lately she hadn’t eyed with suspicion, and that had included Roan—in which case, her suspicions had proven entirely right. It had been his origins he’d been looking for, including the girl he’d lost.
Dominic stood next to her now. He was being so earnest, so honest about himself. It couldn’t be easy to admit such flaws about oneself. She turned to him. God, he was beautiful. It had always scared her how attractive he was. That in itself set off a warning bell in her head. Why would someone like him want someone like her?
Because she wasn’t willing to compromise on her relationship in exchange for a nice car and designer clothes. The answer was obvious. It was now a matter of trusting him in what he said. He’d never lied to her, and he clearly had been interested in her, considering the extraordinary generosity he’d shown her. She’d been so suspicious of it because it didn’t make sense, but perhaps it did now. He’d wanted her around, but then hadn’t been able to approach her.
It had to take some guts for him to come here. He could be lying, but he wasn’t a liar. He wanted this relationship, and accepted the fullness of it—in theory. It was up to her to accept that desire now, to take the leap of faith in him. It would be devastating if it failed, but any relationship would be. With him, though, he expected people to jump at his command, and that was second nature.
But didn’t he deserve a real relationship same as everyone else? He’d shown he knew what he was signing up for, even if he admitted he didn’t really know what he was in for. There was willingness to try, and wasn’t that worth commending? Commending was one thing, she was considering getting into a relationship with him, letting him into her sons’ lives, her life—into her bed.
The idea sent a tumbling peel of nervousness through her body. There was certainly no issue of attraction. Would she really forgive herself if she was the one who backed away this time, like he had before?
Placing the empty coffee cup down, she reached into a kiss. The kisses told her everything she needed to know. Warm, soothing lips stayed her concerns. His arms wound around her, holding her tightly to him. The firmness of his chest pressed to hers, meeting the softness of hers, forming her to him. Perhaps that was the way they were, her softness needed to temper his hard edges.
The kiss deepened and wondrous pleasure turned to sheer tension. Her insides melted—wanted. Breaking the kiss, she saw sheer desire in his eyes. They had shifted beyond words to a place where only the senses mattered, and she didn’t think she’d ever seen a man so beautiful. Her angel.
Reaching for her, he kissed down the length of her neck, searched more and more of her. The soft jumper she’d been wearing which flowed off her shoulder provided little resistance to his hands and kisses. Her top half was soon bare and those kisses travelled lower, tracing along her skin, leaving a trail of fire.
She moaned as he took one of her nipples in his warm mouth, teasing the bud mercilessly. Sensation suffused her whole body, lighting the deepest parts of her with sheer, burning desire. Echoes of dreams past returned, dreams she’d forbidden herself to acknowledge, where he had kissed and touched her like this.
The counter was beneath her; she was sitting on it and wound her legs around him, drawing him to where she ached for him. It was scary to realise how much she’d wanted this without letting herself acknowledge it—the guilty pleasure she had refused to own for fear it might weaken her.
His hardness met her and the friction teased her further. Coolness met her as she leaned back, his kisses exploring her abdomen. Harsh, deep breaths, wracked her body, fighting inside her chest. There just wasn’t enough oxygen, but she didn’t care.
Her arms reached up to his shoulders and head, caressing every part she could reach.
He groaned and pulled away from her. “Come,” he said, taking her hand and urging her forward until she jumped down from the kitchen counter. “I have no plan on rushing this.” He led her upstairs, seeming to know where he was going as he sought her bedroom.
His dark eyes were on her as she undid the buttons of his shirt. She wanted to explore this time, and as she’d expected, his skin was smooth and even. Exercise was part of his routine and his body showed it. He was perfect and it seemed amazing that he was giving her all this—giving her himself. “This in mine now,” she said. “And nobody else’s. I know enough of myself to know that I wouldn’t survive something else, even if I wanted to. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” he said.
“I’m serious. I could say I forgive, but I really can’t. If this isn’t going to be enough, you need to go. There can be no compromises on this.”
He took her hand and kissed the sensitive skin of her palm. “No compromises,” he confirmed.
“And don’t play games with me, either. I am not strong.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Not with my armour off.”
“I like your armour off. I like seeing just you.” He even liked the idea of him being the only one seeing her this way, as she was without her protection. She was stunningly beautiful just like this.
Unzipping her skirt, it fell and she was now standing in front of him in only her knickers, feeling exposed and vulnerable. There was no way her heart was not going to belong to him after this, and she would be in his power. Please don’t abuse it, she pleaded internally.
His lips reached for hers and his bare skin was warm along hers. Held in his arms, her legs wrapped around him as he sat down on the bed with her straddling him. God, was he going to rip her heart to pieces? She didn’t care; she would take whatever prize came with loving him—for this. Right now, she just wanted to be with him, be close to him.
A firm hand stroked down her body, caressing her skin, sending tendrils of delight throughout her. It had been so long since a man had touched her, but he wasn’t just some man—he was Dominic, and he was here with her. Everything they’d spoken about—a relationship—was scary, but this wasn’t. This was easy; it just flowed. She kissed along his shoulder, lost in the taste of him, the feel of his skin under her lips.
He stopped moving, stopped kissing and everything stilled. “What’s wrong?” she said, seeking his eyes. They were dark and endless, and she wasn’t quite sure what they were telling her.
“I’ve never made love to a woman I’ve loved before,” he said after a while. He smiled, but there was a vulnerability there she hadn’t seen before. There it was, the deepest part of him, right in his eyes, the part that was perhaps a little fearful of this level of intimacy. “I had convinced myself I never needed this.”
“Are you sure you want this?” she asked, feeling her concern for him outweigh her aching desire. “If this is too much, we should stop.”
He frowned for a moment. “No,” he said. “It’s just, it’s different.”
Reaching for her, he kissed her, slower than before. His arms held her close as the kiss deepened. There was no hiding from this; it demanded. This didn’t work if she held back and she simply had to let her heart soar. His lips sought her neck again and she embraced his head, holding him to her. She needed him inside her and rose until she could sink down on him. His breath froze as he slowly lowered herself, and his arms tightened around her as she slowly rose and sank. His groan reverberated through her whole body, mingling with the pleasure of him inside her.
There were no words now, just the depth in his eyes. This was a place she had never been before either and she hadn’t quite realised it could be like this—a connection that was deep and full. Their lips lightly stroked as she took him deep inside her again and again. His arm tightened around her hips and every part of him tensed, preparing. The sensation of him inside her intensified and finally, she let her head drop back, feeling every part of this exquisite pleasure until she faltered on the cusp of complete immersion. She
sought his lips, riding through this storm with him.
Strong shudders caused fissions of sheer pleasure like aftershocks to a quake. She didn’t want this to end, to open her eyes, fearing perhaps that the depth she’d beheld wasn’t there anymore. Her heart was on the line now, and she was entrusting it in someone strong and beautiful—Dominic. Was he really going to be hers? She refused to show fear. There was no need to, she trusted him—she loved him.
His strong arms were around her as they lay on the bed in silence, neither attempting to move. It was just them together and there was nothing to say.
“What do we do now?” he said. “This all represents a large change to a number of people. How will your sons react to a new person coming in? Obviously, my house if much larger. It would be more suitable for us living together.”
“I think for right now, we simply worry about you and me together like this,” she said, snuggling into his body, lying with her head on his shoulder. He was warm and strong underneath her, his arm wrapping around her. “The rest will come in time. There is no rush.”
“It is not my nature to just see how things come along.” She looked up to see him smiling. “I tend to plan everything.”
“This isn’t a thing for planning, and this,” she said, stroking her hand down his chest, loving the feel of him, “is the very foundation of us. We should probably work on that first.” She kissed the skin of his shoulder. “Extensively. You can’t underestimate a good foundation.”
“I can do that,” he said, pulling her closer, into a kiss. It may be that she never got enough of this.
Chapter 62
Esme sat at a roof top restaurant with Aggie and some of the other girls. Natasha, Clara and Rashida all eyed her quietly, sitting with drinks in hand. It was a gorgeous day and this high up, the breeze was refreshing. Still, she felt like shit—she felt injured, as if there was an actual sore in her heart.
In a way, she was seriously disappointed with herself. She’d told herself not to get emotionally involved with Inns, but she’d marched right in there anyway. What hurt the most was how callously he’d just chucked her aside. It was time to move on, so she had no purpose anymore. How could someone treat others that way? Esme didn’t understand.
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