by Kim Kaye
“You’re a better woman than me, Jazzy. I would’ve beat her fucking ass, talking about me like that in my fucking face!”
“Just get me outta here, before Jabari comes out.”
Nelle hits the locks, and then we haul ass outta the parking lot. Although I wanted to bounce before Jabari came out, I am disappointed. He still hasn’t even made it outside, when we ride past the entrance of the restaurant.
“You okay, over there?”
“Not really, how can our relationship have a chance, when his mother hates me so much?”
“Did you not see how he stood up for you, Jazzy? That man loves you. And he showed it by standing up to his mother. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It’s not like you have to see the bitch every day.”
“I know you’re right, but Jabari and his mother are extremely close. I can’t see us walking down the aisle, without her blessing.”
“I can’t agree with you, Jazzy. That man loves you. And whatever issues his mother has doesn’t seem to matter to him.”
I let the conversation go. I just want to go home and relax. Seeing Ja’nelle pull into my mother’s driveway, I know that isn’t going to happen.
“What are y’all doing here? I thought y’all were going to dinner with Jabari and his mother.”
“That bitch showed her ass, Ma! She basically told Jabari that Jazzy has been giving up the goods to niggas down in DC. I wanted to beat her ass myself, but you know I’m pregnant.”
“What is up with that bitch, Jazzlene?”
“I don’t know, Ma. We got along fine, the summer that me and Jabari met. It all changed though, once we got engaged.”
“Sounds to me like his mother looks to Jabari for everything, so that’s probably why she is threatened by you. Once y’all walk down that aisle, things will change.”
“But I am not trying to take her son away from her. I would never want to interfere with the bond that they have as mother and son. However, I will not be disrespected either.”
“What exactly happened that has you all upset, Baby?”
After I go on to tell my mother everything that the bitch said, she was heated.
“Where does that bitch live? She has a lot of nerve talking about my Baby; especially when everybody knows how Jabari was slanging his thang all over Cleveland, before ya’ll got together!”
“Don’t worry about it, Ma. I don’t even wanna waste any more energy on that woman. Let’s just chill and relax together.”
“Alright, but you already know that I will kill for my two. So if that bitch gets outta line again, let me know and I’ll nip that shit in the butt!”
“And you know she will! Remember when we were kids, she would wanna fight the kids that we got into it with. Everybody was scared to start shit with us, because they knew our mother was crazy!”
“They would say, don’t mess with them, that’s crazy Julie’s girls. She don’t play!”
We talk for hours about the past; some good memories and some bad memories, but it feels good to reminisce.
Just as we are about to leave, Jabari pulls up behind Nelle’s car. I am pissed that it took him so long to come over here. I guess that he was talking things out with his mother.
When he exits the car, he walks to the passenger side to let his mother out as well. I am so over this bitch and her attitude.
“Mmm, so that’s the bitch who wanna talk about my Baby.”
My mama gets up from her seat.
“Calm down, Ma.”
They walk onto the porch and Jabari introduces his mom to my mother.
“Ms. Sims, this is my mom, Pam. Ma, this is Jazzy and Nelle’s mother, Ms. Sims.”
“It is good to finally meet you. I can see where your daughters get their good looks from.”
She reaches out to shake my mother’s hand, but my mother quickly side steps her.
“I would say that the pleasure is all mines, but I don’t take kindly to people disrespecting my children. Especially when I know that my daughter has never disrespected you. So excuse me for not being hospitable.”
“Well, ugh, that is why we came over. I really want to apologize to Jazzlene for my despicable behavior. Jazzlene, can you please accept my apology? I guess that I felt threatened by you.
My son has never shown interest in any woman, like he has shown you. I was afraid that once he married you that our relationship would change. It has been just me and Jabari for years.”
“I would never want to come between y’all, Ms. Chandler. That isn’t even my style. The reason that I was so attracted to Jabari in the first place is because he loves and respects you so much.”
“So does this mean that my two favorite girls in the world are on good terms?”
“I accept your apology.”
“Thank God. Y’all are driving me crazy. I let Mama know that she either accepts the love of my life or she won’t be seeing me much. You are my everything, Jazzlene. So once I make you my wife, no one will be able to break that bond. That’s including my mother.”
Jabari wraps his arms around me, giving me the biggest hug. It instantly melts all of the tension away. This is why I love this man with all of my heart. He makes every situation better.
Hopefully there will be no more bumps in the road between his mother and I. Because the way that she is looking right now, I can tell that she isn’t as apologetic as she claims.
Chapter Eight
Jabari
Men are what their mothers make them
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I watch as my future wife gets up from the dinner table and then she walks away. I have been making excuses for my mother’s despicable behavior, for long enough. It is now my chance to put my foot down.
As I look at my mother, she has a satisfied smirk on her face and that shit pisses me off even more.
How could she want to constantly hurt the woman that I love the most?
When Jazzlene hurts, I hurt.
“What was that all about, Ma?”
“What do you mean, Jabari? She looks like she has absolutely no idea, as to what I am talking about.
“Why would say all of those mean things to Jazzlene? She has been nothing but respectable towards you, from the moment that you met her!”
“I am going to need you to calm your voice when you are talking to me, Jabari! I am still your mother,” She says with emphasis.
Her lips are tight.
“I will not calm down! Jazzlene is the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with and you’d better get used to it! I love her and I will not have you running her away.”
“What about me, Jabari? What will happen to me, once you get married?”
“I don’t understand what you mean. You are my mother and I will always love and be there for you, no matter who I am with. But I am a man! The kind of love that Jazzlene gives me is a whole different kind of love than you can give me.
The kind of love that I give her is different from the kind of love that I give you. You have to let me go and live my life.”
I just don’t get it. My mother is very attractive for her age. Granted she isn’t as fit and sexy as Ms. Sims, but she still is a good catch.
“I guess that I still remember when you were with your last serious girlfriend. You threw me away, like an old rag. I thought that was going to happen again. I am really sorry for saying those hateful things to Jazzlene. However, I do have two important questions for you, Son.”
“What’s that, Ma?”
“When are you going to tell Lela that you are getting married?”
“I’ll tell her, when I get ready. She knows that I am in a relationship. So what I do with Jazzlene is really none of her damn business!”
I am heated because deep down, I know that my mother is right. I just don’t want to hurt Lela. We have a bond that can’t be broken.
“And what about telling Jazzlene about the kids? You have two kids by Lela, which you have been hiding from your wife. You
at least owe it to Jazzlene, to tell her about your children.”
“I don’t know how to tell her about them, Ma. How do I tell the woman that I love, that I have two kids that I’ve been hiding from her?”
“I don’t have the answer to that son. But you have to tell her before she finds out on her own. And you owe it to Lela to let her know that you’re getting married. She may know that you are in a relationship. But I doubt that she would constantly be popping babies out for a man, whom she doesn’t see a future with, Jabari.”
I wave the waitress over, so I that I can order me a double of Hennessey. What my mother just laid on me is heavy and I know that I have to do something and fast. Only how can I hurt Lela or Jazzlene?
“How can I help you, sir?” The waitress asks, with a big dimpled smile on her face.
“Can I have a double of Hennessey, along with a glass of merlot for my mother?”
She is a cute girl with skin the color of mocha. Standing at about 5’5”, she is thick just like I like them. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail and her face is free from makeup. She is a natural beauty.
“I sure can. I’ll be right back with your drinks.”
I watched as she walks away and just as I suspect, her ass is sitting up nice and high.
Damn . . . a nigga like me is gonna find it hard not to indulge in new pussy, once I get married. I was somewhat faithful to Jazzlene, while she was away at school. The only people that I fuck with are Ja’nelle and Lela and trust me; that is good for a nigga like me, who has his pick of any woman that I want.
“You are just like your father. I don’t understand why you want to get married, when it is clear that you can’t keep it inside of your pants. If you want your marriage to have a fighting chance, then you need to change your ways, Jabari. How do you expect to have a lasting and loving relationship, all built on lies?”
“Don’t worry Ma, I’ve got this. When have you ever known me to get caught up?”
“Whatever, Jabari . . . Don’t come to me, when the shit hits the fan! Jazzlene deserves better than this and so does Lela. I’ve known that child, ever since she was a baby. Her mother is my best friend, for goodness sakes. You are putting me in fucked up place, Jabari.”
The waitress comes back with our drink order.
“Are you ready to order dinner?” She asks, once she places our drinks in front of us. My mother is busy texting someone. I for one am no longer hungry.
“No we are just gonna have another round after this and take the check.”
“Sure thing; I will put in your order for your drinks now. That way, they can be ready once you’re finished. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“I would like an order of oysters, please,” my mother says, drinking from her wine glass.
I’ve never known my mother to eat oysters before.
“Right away, ma’am.”
She continues to text away on her phone. I wonder who she was texting so adamantly.
“Who you over there texting?”
“That’s none of your business.”
She smiles at me and then she puts her phone down.
Before our drinks and the oysters arrive at the table, my mom excuses herself to go the restroom. It is perfect timing, because the cute little waitress comes back to the table.
“Here is your order. Will there be anything else?”
“How about you give me your number, so that I can store it in my cell? Maybe we can hook up one day.”
After she gives me her number, my mother comes back to the table. She is shaking her head.
“You ain’t gonna learn, until something happens to your ass. And I for one won’t be the least bit sorry for you either. Playing with these women’s emotions is gonna get your ass in a world of trouble, Jabari. I know that I raised you better than this!”
I just leave the conversation alone. We aren’t going to see eye to eye anyway.
After eating her oysters, we talk a little while longer. Then afterwards we head to the house, so that she can apologize to Jazzlene. Of course, she isn’t there.
That only means that she can be one place and that is at her mother’s house. I hate to go over there, but this has to be done. It’s the only way that me and my bride-to-be can move on to the next chapter of our lives together.
I know that keeping Lela and the kids a secret from Jazzy is fucked up, but I can’t lose her. Her finding out about it will hurt her to her core. Therefore, some things are better left unsaid.
I think that this is one of those instances when keeping secrets is the right thing to do. I know that I can’t keep them a secret forever. I will tell her in due time.
Chapter Nine
Lela
I was born to be the other woman who belonged to no one . . . Who belonged to everyone . . .
Who had nothing . . . Who wanted everything.
-Lana Del Ray
I know that Jabari is seeing that bitch, Jazzlene. Hell, he is really in love with that goody two shoes bitch.
I can’t even believe the shit that I’ve done for this nigga! I bore him two children, cooked for him, helped him to get the hood status that he so rightfully deserved, and I’ve cleaned his clothes.
When that bitch was out in DC living her life, I was the bitch who made sure that Jabari was straight. I helped him to get on top.
But did he ever think to love me?
I’ve been calling his ass back to fucking back. Yet he keeps on ignoring my calls, or letting it roll over to voicemail. I will blow this muthafuckin’ phone up, until his ass answers and he already knows that shit!
Finally after eight tries, he decides to pick up the fucking phone. Only to my surprise, it isn’t even Jabari. It is his precious Jazzlene. I will admit that I was completely caught off guard, when she answered the phone. She even sounded a little gutta.
All this time I was thinking that his little college girl was a prim and proper princess. She put me in my place real quick and then she hung up the phone.
I was heated, but what could I do? I don’t want to get on Jabari’s bad side, because that will surely drive him further into her arms. But I am totally tired of being the side chick. This is definitely not my style. I am quickly brought outta my thoughts, by Jabari Jr. crying.
“Mama is coming, Baby Boy. Calm down.”
I had just had him, three months ago and he is the splitting image of Jabari. I am so glad to have his first born son.
I was really hoping that our first child would’ve been a boy, so that Jabari would be mine. But instead, Laniyah was born and I love her with all my heart. She is the perfect blend of the both of us.
Although Jabari didn’t want any kids, he takes good care of Laniyah. He also does the very same for Jabari Jr. The only problem that I have is him wanting me to hide my children.
I get if that he is with Jazzlene, but my kids are no secret. I will not let my kids be hidden, like they are some kind of bad mistake.
Ms. Chandler says that she doesn’t see how I can go along with this shit. Only she doesn’t understand how loyal that I am to her son. When all of the chips fall, I will be the last woman standing and that is a fact.
After feeding, playing with, and changing the baby; he falls back to sleep. I am glad too, because I want to straighten up and cook before my mom brings Laniyah home. They went to the Kinsamn Festival and I’m sure that they went shopping too.
I turn on my Pandora app, located on my phone and I tune in to 90’s R&B. The first song that comes on is, My Little Secret by group, Xscape.
How ironic is this?
I started out being Jabari’s ride or die and now I’m a secret; the bitch that he calls on when his girl is away at college. I bet money that she is fucking other niggas, while Jabari thinks that she is being faithful. I will be here to nurse his wounds though, when the shit hits the fan.
I am almost finished washing all of the dishes and bottles, when my phone alerts me that I have a text message.
&nb
sp; Ms. Chandler: How are my grandbabies?
Me: They are fine...Jr. is sleep and Laniyah is with Mama
Ms. Chandler: I’ve got some news to share with you that I’ve been holding back...I thought that my son would be decent enough to tell you
Me: I’m almost afraid to find out
Ms. Chandler: Jabari is marrying that child Jazzlene next month
I have to find a seat, because I am about to faint. I don’t even believe that Jabari is going to marry her. Let alone, marry her without telling me. This has to be some kind of sick joke or a mistake.
Ms. Chandler: Now you know I love you like my own...you are the mother of my grandkids...I couldn’t let this go on any longer.
Me: Are you sure that they’re getting married next month?
Ms. Chandler: Child I wouldn’t tell a lie. July 18, 2015
I put the phone down and I start to cry. All of this planning has been in vain. How can Jabari do this to me? We were supposed to be together forever.
I know that he is dating her, but I also know that he has feelings for me. We have a history together and two kids.
How can he marry her, when I’m the mother of his children?
I am well aware of the game that I am playing, but I was certain that I would be the winner.
What does she have, that I don’t have?
My phone is going off, back to back.
Ms. Chandler: Lela, are you alright?
Ms. Chandler: Please respond . . . you’ve got me nervous over here
Ms. Chandler: I am a woman so I know how you are feeling Lord knows his father done me the same damn way. But you gotta pull yourself together for my grandbabies. They are who matter the most
Me: I know you’re right but I’m hurt! I gave him my all and this what he does to me!!!!
I hear my mother insert her key into my lock.
“Mommy-mommy! Look what I won at the fe-si-bal!”
My baby comes running full speed ahead, with a goldfish in a clear plastic bag. She is getting so big and talking so well for a two year old. She still has trouble pronouncing some words, but I can tell what she is trying to say.
