How can I help a loved one who is depressed?
It is not always easy to help a depressed person, because their suffering can quickly affect you if you are also going through a rough patch. Furthermore, you may feel that there is nothing you can do in the face of so much sadness and apathy. First of all, make sure that you are emotionally and psychologically capable of helping them; otherwise, you risk making their condition worse and becoming depressed yourself.
The first thing you should do is encourage them to go to a doctor who will be able to diagnose them, but do not force them; this is a step they have to take by themselves. Do not be afraid to talk to them about your concerns and the behavioural symptoms that are worrying you, because they may not be aware of them. It is essential to avoid giving generic advice or false encouragement that will only intensify their feelings of guilt and powerlessness. Do not say “if I were you, I would…” or “you just have to want to get better”. Try to include them in your daily activities as often as possible, so that they stay active and do not shut themselves off from the rest of the world. When you are spending time with them, talk to them and listen; show them that they can trust and count on you.
If you think that the situation is critical and your loved one is a suicide risk or a danger to others, contact the emergency services or their doctor immediately and clearly explain the signs that are worrying you.
Is a relapse inevitable? What can I do to protect myself against it?
Although it is true that people who have suffered a first depressive episode are at risk of a relapse, this is not inevitable. Adopting healthy habits and changing certain behaviours can be an effective solution to limit the risk of a relapse.
Initially, it is essential to maintain a healthy lifestyle and follow certain rules: avoid alcohol and tobacco as much as possible; eat a balanced diet; exercise; go to bed and get up at regular hours; get plenty of fresh air; etc. Your environment also plays a role in your recovery or relapse. Do not surround yourself with negative people or people who are showing signs of depression; you are not yet strong enough to help them. Instead, spend as much time as possible with people who you like and who make you feel good; their positivity will be contagious. In spite of these precautions, it is normal to find yourself facing situations that cause you anxiety or stress. Learn to recognise them and put them into perspective. Observe the situation from the outside and try to see the positives in it. Cut yourself some slack and bear in mind how far you have already come.
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Further reading
Bibliography
American Psychiatric Association. (2000) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM-IV-TR). Arlington, Virginia: American Psychiatric Publishing, Inc.
Cungi, C. and Note, I.-D. (2004) Faire face à la depression. Paris: Retz.
Elkaïm, M. (2007) Comprendre et traiter la souffrance psychique. Paris: Éditions du Seuil.
Fédération Belge des Psychologues. (No date) La loi relative aux professions de la santé : la pratique de la psychothérapie. [Online]. [Accessed 23 May 2017]. Available from:
General Medical Council. (2013) Good practice in prescribing and managing medicines and devices. [Online]. [Accessed 23 May 2017]. Available from:
Institut National de Prévention et d’Éducation pour la Santé. (2007) La dépression chez l’adulte. En savoir plus pour s’en sortir. Repérer les symptômes, connaître les traitements, savoir à qui s’adresser. France: INPES.
Larousse.fr. (No date) Antidépresseur. [Online]. [Accessed 23 May 2017]. Available from:
Souery, D. and Mendlewicz, J. (2007) Troubles de l’humeur, la depression. Paris: Éditions du Seuil.
World Health Organisation. (2017) Depression. Fact Sheet. [Online]. [Accessed 23 May 2017]. Available from:
Additional sources
Baker, D. (2015) Depression is a Liar: It IS Possible to Recover and Be Happy Again – Even If You Don’t Believe it Right Now. Syzergy Press.
Carr, C. (2009) Living with Depression: How to Cope when Your Partner Is Depressed. Richmond, Surrey: Crimson Publishing.
Gilbert, P. (2009) Overcoming Depression: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques. London: Constable & Robinson Ltd.
Sheffield, A. (2000) How You Can Survive When They’re Depressed: Living and Coping With Depression Fallout. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Although the editor makes every effort to verify the accuracy of the information published, 50Minutes.com accepts no responsibility for the content of this book.
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