by Betty Neels
Thus admonished, Lavinia applied herself to her lesson with more enthusiasm than ever before; how pleased Radmer would be when she could discuss the meals with Mevrouw Pette without the aid of dictionary or sign language; lift the receiver off the hook and order the groceries in Dutch; ask him-in his own language, how his day had gone... Fired with this praiseworthy desire, she accepted a great deal of homework from her teacher, promised that she would see her in two days' time, and made her way to the Leidsestraat.
It was exciting to examine the elegant clothes in the shop windows and know that she could buy any of them if she wished. Finally, she found just what she was lookinp, for in a boutique; a pink organza dress with ii brief tucked bodice, a deep square neckline, and elbow sleeves, very full and caught into satin bands which matched the narrow band below the bodice. The skirt was wide, the darker pink roses of the pattern rambling over it. It was a beautiful dress and very expensive, but she bought it; she bought a peach-coloured chiffon which caught her eyes, too-after all, Radmer had told her to get two dresses and she couldn't wear the same dress twice running. She shopped for matching slippers and a white velvet shoulder wrap which would g() nicely with both dresses, and then, very happy with her purchases, went back to the house in the square.
She had her lunch, held a long telephone conversation with Peta and Sibby, took the dogs for a walk and then settled down to wait I'or Radmer. It had gone four o'clock when he telephoned; he would be late-something had turned up, but would she go ahead and dress? He would be home as soon after six o'clock as he could.
But it was almost two hours until then; she took the delighted dogs for another walk, made herself work at her Dutch lesson, and then at last permitted herself to go to her room and dress. She took a long time about it, trying not to look at the little gilt clock ticking away the minutes so slowly, until finally, complete to the last dab of powder on her ordinary little nose, she went downstairs.
She was half-way down the staircase when Radmer came in, flung his case into the nearest chair and paused to look at her. `Oh, very nice,' he said, `very nice indeed. I can see that coming home is going to be a real pleasure now that I have a wife. I like the dress.' He was crossing the hall to meet her as he spoke and took her hands and held her arms wide• while he studied her person. She stood quietly, her heart capering around beneath her ribs, making it difficult for her to breathe calmly; all the same she managed a very creditable, 'I'm glad you like it,' and then lost her bread i altogether when he suddenly pulled her close and kissed her; not a gentle kiss at all, bill fierce and hard.
`I like you too,' he told her, and then: " I' lI be fifteen minutes-pour me a drink while I'm changing, will you? Whisky.'
Lavinia waited for him in the sitting-room, the whisky ready, and with nothing better to do but wonder why he had kissed her in that fashion, it augured well for their evening-fl might even augur well for their future. The memory of the look on his face when he had come home stirred her pulse, and the tiny flame of hope which flickered so faintly, and which she had promised herself she would keep alive at all costs, glowed more strongly, so that when she heard his step in the hall, she turned a smiling face to the door.
He had changed into a dinner jacket and he looked good in it-she saw that with her first glance. The second showed her that whatever Feeling had prompted him to kiss her in that Fashion had been cast off with his other clothes, without him uttering a word she could see that. So she said hullo with a lightness she didn't feel and added: `I've poured your drink-it's over there, on the drum table,' and as he went to fetch it: `Have you had a busy day?'
He went and sat down. `Yes, there was a heavy list in both theatres-and Mevrouw van Vliet-you remember her?' He began to tell her about the case. `We did another frozen section, you know-I'm afraid there's nothing much to be done. We had several positives today, too.'
'I'm sorry,' said Lavinia, and meant it. `It clouds the day, doesn't it?'
He gave her an appreciative glance. 'Yes but I shouldn't bring my work home with me, I'm afraid it's rather a temptation to talk about it with you-you see I never could... and with Sibby, it's been out of the question, of course.' He smiled a little. `What have you been doing with yourself? And did the girl telephone?'
She related the peaceful happenings of her own day and passed on the messages Sibby and Peta had sent him, adding: `They're having a lovely time. Peta says she's never been so happy before in her life, and that's true, you know-when she was a little girl, them was never much money and besides that, Mother wasn't very strong... !'
`And you, Lavinia-were you happy?'
She considered his question. `For most of the time, I think; at least until Father died.' She got up and straightened a few cushions, wishful to change the conversation. `I went to the kitchen today,' she told him, 'and Mevrouw Pette and I had a long talk-I hacl my dictionary, and we got on quite well.'
She succeeded in making him laugh. `I should have enjoyed the conversation. How is the Dutch coming along?'
`I know a great many words,' she told him hopefully, `and a few sentences.'
He put down his glass. `When you know a few more, we will give a dinner party.' He grinned at her look of horror. `Don't worry, we'll invite only those who speak English all the same, you must try and speak Dutch as often as possible.'
She promised him that she would as they walked to the door together and she had the satisfaction of seeing that he was not on his guard with her. The kiss had been a reaction after a bad day, she decided, and he had been afraid that she would take advantage of it, despite what she had told him. She got into the car beside him, determined to be a pleasant, undemanding companion for the rest of the evening.
It was perfect weather and warm. They had a table in the window, where they could watch the barges chugging steadily up and down the canal, and they talked of a great many things while they ate. Radmer, once more his usual friendly, faintly impersonal self, took pains to please her. She had looked at the vast menu in some perplexity until he had suggested that she might like him to choose for her: hors d'oeuvres, Poulet Poule mon Coeur and syllabub, and when he asked her what she would like to drink, she left that to him too and drank the chilled Amontillado and then the white Burgundy with enjoyment, pronouncing the latter to be very pleasant, an innocent remark which caused her husband's mobile mouth to twitch very slightly; the bottle of Corton Charlemagne which he had ordered had been treated with due reverence by the wine waiter, being a wine to be taken seriously, but he only agreed with her and refilled her glass, remarking at the same time that wine was an interesting subject for anyone who cared to learn about it.
Lavinia took a sip and eyed him thoughtfully. `I expect this is a very good one, isn't it? I don't know one from the other, but I'll have to learn, won't I?' She frowned. `Would Mevrouw Pette... ?'
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. `Well, I daresay she's an authority on cooking sherry and so forth-I'm by no means that myself, but I daresay I could put you on the right track-remind me to do so when we have a quiet evening together.'
They sat over their meal, and as the evening darkened slowly, Lavinia, sitting in the soft glow of the pink-shaded table lamp, her ordinary face brought to life by excitement and the wine, became positively pretty.
`Do you come here often, Radmer?' she asked.
`Occasionally, with friends. I don't didn't go out a great deal. It must be months since I was here.'
She poured their coffee. `But the head waiter knew you.'
He chuckled. `That's his job. Shall we bring the girls here one evening? When is Peta's birthday?'
She told him, smiling with pleasure. `She'd love it-she hasn't had much fun...' She looked away quickly because of the expression on his face; she didn't quite know what it was, but it might have been pity-it disappeared so quickly that afterwards she told herself that she had imagined it.
They drove back in a companionable silence and when they reached the house she wished him good night a
t once and went upstairs to bed; probably he had had enough ol' her company for one evening; she would have to give him time to get used to having her around. He made no effort to detain her and when she had thanked him he had replied that he had enjoyed himself too and looked forward to the following evening.
She knew better than to be chatty at breakfast; she poured his coffee, replied quietly to his query as to whether she had slept well, and sat down to her own meal and the Daily Telegraph. Her good-bye was cheerful as he got up to leave her, and she added a: `And I hope it's a better day for you all,' for good measure as he left the room. She was heartily ashamed of the forlorn tears which dripped down on to her uneaten toast. She wiped them away fiercely, telling herself that she was becoming a regular cry-baby, and then took the dogs for a walk in the park before telephoning Peta and Sibby, who were coming home again on the following day. The pair of them sounded very pleased with life, taking it in turns to talk so that there was very little need for her to say more than a word or two. She put the receiver down at length and went along to find Mevrouw Pette, who had suggested that she might like to go through the linen cupboard with her.
Radmer came home earlier than she had expected him to. She was on her knees in the middle of the sitting-room carpet, the dogs sprawled on either side of her, learning Dutch verbs, when he walked in. The dogs rushed to greet him and she would have got to her feet if he hadn't said at once: `No, don't move I'll join you. What on earth are you doing?'
He glanced through the dry-as-dust grammar and shut the book. `My poor dear,' he observed. `I had quite forgotten how difficult our language is. Is Juffrouw de Waal a tyrant?'
She giggled. `Well, yes, a bit. She gave me quite a lecture yesterday, though it was a useful one too ... she told me that it was even more necessary that I should master Dutch quickly now that I was married to you. I have to read the papers each day, and translate what I read, so that I can discuss politics with you."
He shouted with laughter. `My dear girl, I almost never talk politics, and I should find it boring if you did. I'd rather come home to a wife in a pink dress who listens sympathetically to my grumbles about work and makes sensible comments afterwards.'
She sat back on her heels. `Did you have a good day?'
He had stretched out beside her, lying full length with his hands behind his head, looking up at her. `Yes, it was a good day. Have we had tea?"
'No, not yet. I'll ask for it right away. Do you want it here or in your study?'
His eyes were closed, but he opened them to stare at her. When he spoke it was so softly that she almost didn't hear him. `I like your company, Lavinia-it grows on me-don't ever doubt that; even when I'm irritable or tired or worried-you have the gift of serenity.' He closed his eyes again and added: `I'm hungry; somehow or other I missed lunch.'
It would have been very satisfying to have asked him what he had meant, instead she whisked down to the kitchen, made herself understood by the co-operative Mevrouw Pette and hurried back to assure Radmer that a sustaining tea was on the way. It gave her deep satisfaction presently, to watch him make short work of the sandwiches, anchovy toast and wholesome homemade cake Bep brought in a few minutes later, and when he had finished and closed his eyes in a nap, she sat, as still as a mouse, until he opened them again, wide awake at once, to look at the clock and suggest that they should change. `I've booked a table for half past seven,' he told her, `it's only half an hour's drive, but I thought it would be nice to sit over our drinks.'
The peach chiffon looked stunning; she did her face with care, brushed her hair until it shone and went downstairs to find him already waiting and any last lingering qualms she might have entertained about the extravagance of purchasing two dresses and expensive ones at that, at the same time, were successfully extinguished by his surprised admiration. `Very nice,' he commented. `I liked the pink, but this one is charming.'
`Well, it is a kind of pink,' she told him seriously. `I didn't really need it, but it looked so pretty and fitted so well...'
He studied her carefully. `Very well.' He took the wrap from her and put it round her shoulders. `Remind me to buy you a fur wrap.'
She turned round slowly to face him. `I wouldn't dream of doing that,' she assured him earnestly. `Wives don't remind their husbands to buy them things like furs,' and then she giggled when he took his handkerchief out of his pocket to tie a knot in a corner of it. `Don't be absurd!'
`Ah, but you don't understand, Lavinia. I'm a little out of touch when it comes to remembering what husbands do and don't do-it's been a long time.'
And what, in heaven's name, was a second wife's answer to a remark like that? She decided to ignore it and said instead: `Shall we go? I'm looking forward to seeing this hotel. I told Sibby that we were going there and she said it was super.'
Sibby had been right; it was a splendid place, a castle once, but now a famous hotel standing in its own grounds, and as the evening was, for once, windless and warm still, they strolled about the terraces and then sat down by one of the fountains for their drinks, and presently, seated at a table by the window so that they had a splendid view of that same fountain, they dined off kipper pate, entrecote saute Cussy, and crepes snuffles aux peches, and as the steak had been cooked with port wine, and the snuffle was flavoured with kirsch and they, in their turn, had been washed down with the excellent claret Radmer had chosen, Lavinia began to enjoy herself, and when he suggested that they might dance, she got up with all the will in the world, determined not to miss anything of her treat. She danced delightfully, and Radmer, after the first few seconds, realized it. He was a good dancer himself-they went on and on, not talking much, sitting down for a drink from time to~ time and then, by common consent, taking to the floor again. She had been surprised to find that he was as good at the modern dances as the more conservative waltz and foxtrot, and at the end of one particularly energetic session he had said almost apologetically: 'Sibby taught me; I find them rather peculiar, but they're fun sometimes-you're very good yourself.'
`But I prefer waltzing,' said Lavinia, as indeed she did; she could have danced all night and the evening was going so fast-probably once the girls were back home, he wouldn't ask her out again; not just the two of them.
Their outings would more than likely be family ones from now on.
They danced a last, dreamy waltz and she went to fetch her wrap. As they got into the car she said: `That was wonderful, Radmer, thank you for a lovely evening.'
'We'll do it again,' he promised her as he Manoeuvred the car on to the road, and Lavinia stifled disappointment because he hadn't said that he had enjoyed it too. She smoothed the soft stuff of her gown, and sat quietly, thinking about the evening, until he broke into her reverie. `It's a splendid night,' he observed casually. `We'll go back down the country roads, shall we? There'll be no traffic-we can miss Hilversum completely and work our way round the Loosdrechtsche Plassen, go through Loenen and back on to the motorway below Amstelveen-almost as quick, and far nicer.'
She agreed happily. She wasn't in the least tired, on the contrary, the dancing had left her glowing and wide awake. They talked with idle contentment about nothing in particular as Radmer drove across the golf course, under the motorway and on to the narrow road which bordered the lakes. They were already two-thirds of the way to Loenen; indeed, Lavinia could make out a few lights, still we I ahead of them across the water when, lookin~~ idly around her at the quiet, moonlit countryside, she exclaimed suddenly: 'Radmer-that light, over there, on the right...'
`I've seen it, dear girl-a fire, unless I'm mistaken. There's a lane somewhere-here it is.' He swept the big car into a rough, unmade road, a mere cart track. `This will take us somewhere close, I fancy.'
The fire could be seen more plainly now; a dull glow brightening and fading, almost dimmed by the brilliant moonlight. And it was further away than Lavinia had thought-it must be an isolated farmhouse set well back from the road, in the rough heath bordering the lakes. She fancied s
he could smell smoke now and hear the faint crackling of fire in the quiet of the night, and presently they had their first real view of the house. A farmhouse, right enough, standing amongst trees and rough grass; the lane they were driving along ended in its yard. Radmer came to a halt well away from the farm buildings, said `Stay here,' and got out, to disappear quickly through a side door which he had had no compunction in breaking down with a great shoulder. Lavinia could hear him calling and someone answering faintly. She heard other sounds too, nowhorses, snorting in fright, and cows bellowing; they would be in the great barn at the back of the house. The fire wasn't visible from where she sat, only a faint flickering at the windows; it might not be too bad at the moment, but by the time Radmer had roused the family, it might be too late to save the animals. She got out of the car and looked about her; she could see no one. She put her handbag and wrap carefully on the car seat, shut the door, and ran towards the barn.
CHAPTER SEVEN
IT WAS EASY enough to find the door in its vast side; the moonlight showed Lavinia that-it crept in after her, too, showing her the enormous lofty place, with cow stalls down each side of a wide cobbled path, two horses, giants to her shrinking eyes, stamping and snorting in the partitioned-off stables at the further end. There were a medley of farm carts in another corner, and bales of hay... She wasted no more time in looking, but shaking with fright, went to unbar the great doom opening on to the yard and the fields beyond, and then, uttering loud, encouraging cries, more for her own benefit than those of the beasts, went to untie the horses, relieved to find that despite their fear, they had no intention of kicking her to pieces, merely snorting violently as they backed out of their stable and trotted ponderously out into the yard. She wasn't too keen on cows, either, but she went from one spotless stall to the next, taking down the bars and trusting to their readiness to respond to her pleas that they should bestir themselves. And they did, to her great relief; they hurried, as well as cows will hurry, jostling each other in their common wish to get away from the smell of smoke.
